HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 27: Treacherous Ministers—The Old Ones Are Best

Chapter 27: Treacherous Ministers—The Old Ones Are Best

Yun Ye didn’t handle the remaining people himself but handed them over to He Tianshang, who came galloping over at the crack of dawn. All seven people, whether alive or dead, were stuffed by him into hemp sacks and stacked up like cargo. The small steel-made prison cart was packed full. The Yun family had to hand the people over to the authorities—they couldn’t turn a matter where they were in the right into one where they lost all reason.

From the fact that He Tianshang didn’t regard them as human at all, the two who survived would find it very difficult to continue living. As long as they weren’t subjects of Great Tang, He Tianshang never treated them as human, much less these people who entered a duke or marquis household at night—they were either treacherous or thieving! After the tragedy at Zhang Liang’s household, Li Er absolutely would not allow it to happen again, because exterminating entire families was his prerogative. Anyone who encroached upon it would surely die.

“Marquis Yun, give me the Light Plate too. I know you didn’t actually cleave it open—you were just frightening those Persians. Hand it to me and let His Majesty handle it. This will be most beneficial for your Yun family.”

Yun Ye nodded and had Liu Jinbao give the two halves of the plate to He Tianshang. Seeing the broken plate, He Tianshang cried out in alarm: “You really destroyed the Light Ritual Plate?”

“I wouldn’t say destroyed. Just find a craftsman who repairs bronze ware to mend it, and that’s that. What are you shouting about?”

“Repair? This thing is considered defiled just by falling to the ground. You’ve now chopped it in half, yet you say it’s not destroyed? You even want to find a coppersmith to repair it? Do you think this is a bronze chamber pot from your house? I’d better dispatch constables to station themselves at your home. Last night there were seven black-clothed people. Tonight there will definitely be seventy black-clothed people coming to your house. Want peace and quiet? Dream on.” He Tianshang truly couldn’t understand why Yun Ye, who usually did things very methodically, had this time done things so absolutely, leaving the Zoroastrian priests not even half a bit of leeway.

“The plate wasn’t chopped up by me. Why would Zoroastrians come looking for me?”

“But you just said you were the one who split the plate open. Those two black-clothed people also said you were the one who chopped it. With both witness and physical evidence present, how can you deny it?”

“I’m a marquis. What do you think I relied on to achieve such a high official position? Spouting nonsense! Just now when I told you I chopped the plate, that was then. Now haven’t I told you the plate wasn’t chopped by me? Times change. As long as it benefits the Yun family, half an hour from now I might admit again that I chopped the plate. The reason you haven’t become a higher official is because you haven’t grasped the essence of overturning what you’ve said at any time. Study it well when you have time. Start by learning that you never heard me tell you I chopped the plate.”

He Tianshang trembled with anger all over and pointed at Yun Ye saying: “A great man’s word is like white dyed black—how can you go back on your word? This is shameless, not any kind of ability.”

Yun Ye sat calmly in his chair, unmoved as the earth itself, scraping tea leaf bits from his tea bowl and saying very seriously to He Tianshang: “Last time at my house, what did you curse Fang Xuanling? Do you still remember?”

“Of course I remember. I said he wags his tongue and is a shameless old traitor. So what if I say it now?”

“Before that, when you evaluated how Du Ruhui handled grassland disputes, what did you say?”

“Hmph. He didn’t ask right from wrong, only looked at which tribe was stronger and ruled in their favor. He completely disregarded the life and death of weak tribes, causing rivers of blood on the grasslands—a cunning old traitor. I’d say the same thing to his face.”

“You see, actually what you said makes perfect sense. Those two fellows truly are despicable and lowly old traitors. Our views are consistent. But our methods are vastly different. I’m striving to become a shameless young traitor, so you see me with wealth filling my halls and beautiful wives in abundance. But you’re moving away from this great goal, so when your old mother wants something good to eat, you need to get it from my house. The whole court is full of old traitors—only they live with relish and flavor. Only upright gentlemen have it rather hard. In any case, I don’t plan to be an upright gentleman. If twenty years from now I can also earn the title of old traitor, this lifetime won’t have been lived in vain.”

He Tianshang looked at Yun Ye with terror. He didn’t dare imagine what would happen if such a person became a peerless, influential old traitor—how would others survive? Could this world truly be as he said—good people have nothing to look forward to?

Suddenly remembering yesterday when he lay on the rooftop listening to those students’ words, at the time he’d broken out in a cold sweat. Now it seemed this was all of one lineage. Thinking about the future court filled with these old traitors, middle-rank traitors, and young traitors, his own prospects were pitch black—so dark he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face.

Those young traitors had learning if they wanted learning, methods if they wanted methods, breadth of mind if they wanted breadth of mind. They were practically heaven-made and earth-set for becoming officials, and they came in groups! Thinking of the passionate, fervent ideals of those tribute students from various prefectures that he’d monitored—how laughable! At the time he’d even felt fortunate for the court that another batch of talent was joining. Reality told He Tianshang that those talented scholars’ ideals probably wouldn’t even sprout before being torn to shreds by these young traitors and chewed up, skin and bones together.

“What exactly do you want to do by going back on your word like this?” He Tianshang decided not to waste mental energy on this and asked directly.

“I just felt there was a large group of reckless fools I could make use of. They’re all human lives—it’s not good to waste them. Rather than having my household guards shoot them dead one by one, better to let them generate some residual heat.”

“How do you plan to have them generate it? How? If you want to use them to achieve some unspeakable purpose of yours, I absolutely won’t agree. If even one Great Tang person dies in Chang’an city, I’ll hold you accountable.”

“Who said anyone would die? Those people fled from the desert to Great Tang precisely to make their sacred fire burn again, even wanting to establish their own theocratic state. A group of Persians isn’t frightening—a group of united Persians is frightening. Religion has tremendous power in rallying people’s hearts. So when I heard about the importance of that plate, my first reaction was to destroy it.”

“Last night I took a short nap. After getting up I regretted it. The responsibility for preventing this kind of hidden dynasty from casually establishing itself in Great Tang is yours, not mine. Why should I make the Yun family a target? You should be the target. That’s why I denied it flatly. Just now I already sent the steward to spread word in Chang’an city—a group of foolish thieves stole an ancient bronze plate from the Yun household. Strangely enough, right beside it was the priceless Moon Pearl, yet those foolish thieves didn’t even know to take it…”

“And the thieves were captured by me, and the bronze plate was cleaved open by my swift sword, becoming two halves—is that it or not?” He Tianshang’s hair was practically standing on end. His hand pressed on his sword hilt, as if he would strike in the next second.

“No, the Yun family’s story has ended. The story that follows should be continued by you. What you just said is also one possibility. Of course there are countless other possibilities. For instance, the black-clothed people and the Peacock Ming King battled for three hundred rounds. Oh no! A black-clothed person accidentally cleaved the bronze plate open with one slash. Or the Buddhist sect, or perhaps the Daoists—they shamelessly participated. Or one of your enemies also accidentally got involved, and so on and so forth. In short, it depends on how much thought you put into it. People will fight to the death for you to achieve whatever goal you want—more devoted than suicide warriors. What a great opportunity! Grasp it, and promotion and wealth depend on this one time.”

“The plate was chopped by you!” He Tianshang squeezed out these words from his lungs.

“It was chopped by me. You see, I’ve admitted it again. But who would believe it? That plate is an antique over a thousand years old, worth quite a bit. Moreover, with that plate you could exchange it with the Zoroastrians for countless treasures and beautiful women. Last night that elder said he’d exchange all the virgins in the faith with me, and I still didn’t agree. Who would destroy a treasure representing wealth and status?”

“Everyone will say: Yun Ye? Impossible. He’s just a greedy and lecherous fellow obsessed with sex. This kind of thing absolutely wouldn’t happen with him. So He Tianshang is deliberately diverting people’s attention. Eighty percent chance he did this to achieve his unspeakable purpose. What purpose? A dog in the east of the city was raped and murdered—could it be to…”

“Shut up! From the moment I arrived at your house, you planned to frame me!” He Tianshang was grief-stricken and indignant beyond control.

“You shut up! I’m giving you credit. You, He Tianshang, have diligently and conscientiously guarded Chang’an these years. Many times when I attended morning court, I could see you exhausted, strolling through the markets. A few times when it was bitterly cold, your snot ran really long, and you still fucking smiled at me. You’re fair, kind, and conscientious—these are your virtues. That’s why you have His Majesty’s command arrow to investigate some information His Majesty needs verified. This means you’re gradually entering the Emperor’s heart. But look at yourself—why are you still an eighth-rank official?”

“His Majesty employs people based solely on talent. Even if you’re gradually entering the Emperor’s heart, without corresponding achievements and methods, His Majesty still won’t grant you official rank and title. It’s because of these virtues of yours that you can call me brother. All of Chang’an knows the Yun household’s pastries are delicious, but why is it that only when you come can you eat and take without restraint? It’s also thanks to those virtues of yours.”

“This incident is the last opportunity you can grasp. His Majesty’s patience has limits. His Majesty doesn’t lack incompetent bleeding hearts. As a friend, when you haven’t seen something clearly, I have an obligation to point it out. For the Yun family to handle this matter is very easy. Just casually toss the corpses in the wilderness, then take one trip to the Zoroastrian temple in Chongning Ward to demand treasures and virgins. The Zoroastrians would only suspect other places. I guarantee the Yun family would have no trouble whatsoever from this matter. Why did I give the people to you? Have you thought it through? Once you’ve thought it through, hurry up and scram to make arrangements. I’ll have servants deliver the pastries to your house.”

He Tianshang drew up a full bucket of ice water from the well and submerged his head in it. Only when he was nearly drowned did he raise his head, gasping for breath in great gulps. After his breathing settled, he took the towel a servant handed him, dried his head and face, bowed to Yun Ye in salute, then left with the prisoners and corpses.

“Husband, who do you think he’ll frame?” Xinyue watched He Tianshang’s departing figure thoughtfully and asked.

“He won’t frame anyone. He’ll only report this matter to His Majesty and request His Majesty’s decision.”

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