HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 28: Who's Training Whom

Chapter 28: Who’s Training Whom

Yun Ye, sleeping in a pile of furs, was drenched in sweat. His eyelids kept twitching, his hands and feet curled up in his embrace like an infant’s. Large teardrops continuously welled from the corners of his eyes, and before long had soaked more than half of his soft pillow.

In his dream, he kept running across the grasslands. Behind him, a great fire blazed. The ground was covered entirely with wild grass—nowhere to hide, nowhere to conceal himself. He clearly knew that he only needed to jump into the river ahead to escape, yet no matter how he ran, he couldn’t reach it. The river was also running, just like the bright moon in the sky—when you walk, it walks; like the white clouds in the sky—when you stop, it stops.

On the grasslands, even wild wolves—the greatest runners of wildfire—inevitably collapsed from exhaustion, ultimately becoming charred corpses. Humans couldn’t compare to wild wolves; they could never outrun wildfire no matter what.

Yun Ye had seen people burned to death—also by wildfire. Several children had mischievously set fire to a meadow in the wilderness. The clever ones ran against the wind and escaped. Only one half-witted child was chased by the wildfire. When the adults found him, they discovered he had died hiding in a narrow stone crevice. No one knew how he had squeezed himself in, because that crevice was so narrow that other children of his same size could never have wedged themselves inside no matter what.

When the adults pried open the rocks and extracted him, no one dared look. Only his father wrapped him tightly in white cloth. After leaving him overnight, the thick layer of white cloth was completely saturated with grease. Only then did people realize this child had been practically roasted…

Yun Ye didn’t want to be roasted, so he ran desperately. He could even feel the scorching heat from the flames behind him. Finally reaching the riverbank, he looked at the clear water and leaped in with one flying jump.

There was no clear water. What greeted him was a cracked, dried riverbed…

Yun Ye rose very early. He drank a great deal of water, ate a jar of fish porridge, then found two pears that had already turned black and ate them. Only then did he feel somewhat better, the flames in his heart temporarily extinguished.

Gae Suwen, locked in a wooden cage, cackled at him with sinister laughter. That damned woman also showed a gloating expression, though she didn’t seem to care about these things. She merely knelt beside Gae Suwen, carefully wiping his hair with a damp cloth. With disheveled hair and bloodshot eyes, Gae Suwen now looked just like a ghost.

“You had nightmares all night, didn’t you? I watched you the whole time. You looked so ridiculous—like a suckling infant, even crying tears. Ha ha, you’re haunted by evil spirits too, aren’t you? Do you know, the first time I killed someone, I was like this too—spent a whole night dreaming of being chased by ghosts. But after I’d killed ten people, I stopped having those dreams. This time you killed far more people than I did, so the retribution is a thousand, a hundred times worse than mine. Endure it slowly, Yun Ye. Killing people isn’t pleasant.”

“I know, which is why I didn’t kill you—just locked you in a cage and personally guard you. Haven’t dishonored you, have I?”

“Yun Ye, I am a Fourth Rank Great Minister of Goguryeo. You cannot lock me in a cage to humiliate me.”

“Well, your official rank isn’t higher than mine. I’m Junior Third Rank, and also a National Marquis—we prosper and decline with the nation. Being an official rank higher is much more impressive than you. Shut your mouth. Staying up at night to spy on others—is that how an official behaves? Say one more word, and I’ll hang you upside down. Let’s see if you can still be stubborn then.”

Hearing Yun Ye getting angry, the woman quickly embraced Gae Suwen’s head in her bosom, looking at Yun Ye pleadingly, hoping Gae Suwen wouldn’t suffer further harm.

“Buried in her breasts like that, yet you still say you have no affair? Old Gae, if you don’t even have the courage to admit this much, what kind of Fourth Rank Great Minister are you? If I fancy a woman, even if she’s a princess, I’ll act without hesitation. Looking like you do, you’re wasting such a beautiful woman.”

The woman seemed to understand Chinese. Hearing Yun Ye say this, she quickly shrank behind Gae Suwen, head bowed, not daring to look at Yun Ye, worried about catching his eye. Gae Suwen was about to speak but was cut off by Yun Ye.

“Shut up. I know what you’re going to say—I’m a nobleman, can’t lose that face. Those things are only enjoyable when both parties are willing. What good comes from desperate life-and-death struggles? Probably only you Goguryeo people have such preferences.”

Gae Suwen suddenly laughed. He pulled the woman close and kissed her heavily on the face, then straightened up, ignoring the woman who was so embarrassed she wished to disappear, and said to Yun Ye, “Indeed so. You know, in my Goguryeo, young people like me who reach such a position at twenty-five are almost nonexistent. Now meeting someone similar, I feel the urge to compete. Yun Ye, shall we make a wager?”

Yun Ye had always been interested in wagers, especially in this era where once a bet was made, one would stake their life to honor the rules—it was his favorite. Hearing Gae Suwen wanted to wager, he couldn’t help but prick up his ears, ready to hear what he’d say.

“I’m responsible for building the Great Wall in Liaodong. I’ve already built over three hundred li. Though it can’t compare to the Great Wall of the Central Plains, it’s still a good defensive line for holding firm. You and I—using earth mounds as cities, wood chips as soldiers, pebbles as generals—let’s demonstrate once, see if you can break through my defense. If you can break through, I, Yuan Gae Suwen, swear to Heaven that I will definitely dismantle the memorial mound and respectfully return those remains to the Great Tang. How about it?”

“What if I can’t break through?” Yun Ye asked with a smile.

“If you can’t break through, you don’t need to worry about me. You only need to send this woman back to the King’s City.” Gae Suwen spoke these words with decisive firmness, quite winning people’s favor.

Before Yun Ye could speak, the woman chattered out a long stream of words to Gae Suwen. Gae Suwen’s expression changed, and with a sharp crack, he slapped the woman across the face—very hard. The corner of the woman’s mouth bled, making even Yun Ye suck in a cold breath. This bastard could actually strike so hard.

The woman was stunned by the slap. After being dazed for just a moment, her face, swollen bright red from the blow, actually showed a smile. She picked up Gae Suwen’s hand, held it in her palms, then pressed it against her face, looking quite blissful. Gae Suwen gently stroked the woman’s long hair, sighed once, and paid no more attention to Yun Ye who was right beside him.

This scene made Yun Ye very uncomfortable. He discovered that he was now playing the role of villain. In the face of love, this wretched scoundrel version of himself was surely worth nothing in their hearts.

Scratching his chin, he shook his head and prepared to leave, but heard the woman’s voice: “General, I know you have absolutely no intention of letting us go, especially after we’ve learned your secret. It’s even more impossible. This humble woman only asks that after the General kills us, you bury me and Suwen together. This humble woman thanks the General here.” She arranged her funeral affairs with a smile, as if facing not an enemy of Goguryeo, but an old friend of many years.

A surge of sourness welled up in Yun Ye’s heart. He said irritably, “I won’t kill you at all. If I kill anyone, I’ll only kill Gae Suwen.” Having said this, he felt it was inappropriate. Facing Gae Suwen’s ambiguous, smiling face, he quickly lowered his head to check if his shadow had grown a pair of donkey ears.

“Brother Yun has never tasted this kind of life-and-death devotion?” Damn it—Yun Ye actually heard a hint of pity in Gae Suwen’s voice.

“A great man awake wields the power to kill, drunk reclines on a beauty’s lap. These two are indispensable. With our positions today, wielding the power to kill while awake is easy to accomplish. What’s rare is reclining drunk on a beauty’s lap. Beauties are easy to obtain, but a kindred heart is hard to find. Therefore, the Book of Songs opens with: ‘Guan-guan go the ospreys, on the islet in the river. The modest, retiring, virtuous young lady—for our prince a good mate.’ The ancient sages were truly enlightened, understanding what we seek. It’s a pity there’s no wine, otherwise we should certainly drink a great toast.”

Yun Ye laughed despite himself. He unhooked the wine gourd from his waist, took a gulp, threw the rest into the prison cart, and walked toward the beach without looking back. Before long, sweet singing voices drifted from that direction.

The bay was filled with warships. Facing the icy sea breeze, Yun Ye took a long breath and began his daily routine work—inspecting the fleet. The small boat rose and fell with the waves. Each time he reached a warship, the duty officer on watch immediately stood at the bow and loudly reported the status of his vessel. The resounding, forceful voices seemed to infuse him with boundless masculine vigor.

Though he wore a Confucian robe with his head bare, adorned only with a single jade hairpin, all the soldiers and officers of the fleet dared not show the slightest negligence. After the two great victories at Beisha City and Sansan Port, Yun Ye had been completely accepted in their hearts. Kill ten thousand enemies, lose three thousand of your own—yet now having killed more than ten thousand enemies while suffering minimal losses on their own side—wasn’t this the bearing of a famous general?

Liu Fang hid in the shadows, smiling with extreme craftiness. If Yun Ye had been beside him, he could have heard the old fellow’s muttering: “Boy, fame and profit are a pair of blood brothers. You’re greedy for wealth and profit—how can you escape the bonds of fame and gain? Won’t study military strategy? Can military strategy even be learned? How many of Cheng Yaojin and the others were taught by famous military strategists? Very good indeed—already has the bearing of a general. Damn it, he’s even a scholar-general. Give him another ten years of tempering, and this old man refuses to believe we can’t produce a qualified general. This old man’s grandson still needs you to hold up the sky. How can you be useless?”

After inspecting the fleet came the routine handling of official business. A few minor disciplinary violations—he was too lazy to judge who was right or wrong. They were all comrades-in-arms, yet they came to blows—a bunch of bastards. Thirty lashes each would do.

This battle had surprisingly consumed thirty percent of the fire oil. Fortunately, most of it was black oil. Not much of the incendiary bombs had been used—good thing too, since that stuff would still be needed in field battles. The Battle of Sansan Port had been won by storming in while the enemy was panicked and bewildered. By the time the Goguryeo forces reacted, the sky had already lightened. Wanting to escape under cover of darkness—the opportunity was already lost.

Liu Fang had left no survivors. Liu Renyuan reported that the enemy had sworn to fight to the death and refused to surrender, so they had no choice but to annihilate them completely. Yun Ye understood this was an excuse. If the enemy hadn’t surrendered, where did all those intact ships come from that you captured? He didn’t plan to expose this. Now was not the time to gather prisoners and boast of achievements. A new fierce battle was about to arrive—prisoners would only become a burden.

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