HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 30: The Emperor Must Study

Chapter 30: The Emperor Must Study

If a person in this world goes one day without food, they become hungry; if they go one day without learning, they become foolish. Li Er’s frenzied heart gradually calmed down. He wanted to retrieve his daily records to examine his gains and losses, but emperors were not allowed to read their own daily records—this was a principle that historians had always insisted upon.

Li Er said, “I will not add a single word nor delete a single word, will not praise or criticize, will not diminish or belittle. I only want to look at my past words and actions, clearly know myself, learn from past mistakes to avoid future ones, and prevent any further oversights in government affairs.”

The purpose was clear and the reasoning sufficient. However, the historian currently recording the Emperor’s daily activities was Yan Shigu of the Yan family. He sneered at the Emperor’s guarantee. No matter how the Emperor explained his purpose for reading the daily records, he had only one response: “The Yan Family Instructions contain no such precedent.”

The enraged Li Er ordered Yan Shigu bound, but they couldn’t find where the daily records were kept. When eunuchs interrogated Yan Shigu about the whereabouts of the daily records, Yan Shigu replied, “Last night I didn’t eat dinner, so I consumed the daily records as my evening meal. They’re currently in my belly now. You’ll need to cut open my abdomen to see them.”

During the Spring and Autumn Period, Cui Zhu killed three historians in succession who recorded his murder of Duke Zhuang of Qi, yet still couldn’t change what the historical records said. Although Li Er was furious, he wasn’t as thick-skinned as Cui Zhu and had no choice but to release Yan Shigu. In fact, he had to release him because Yan Shigu’s brother Yan Shilu was already standing outside the palace gate. Once his younger brother was beheaded by the Emperor, he would immediately enter the palace to continue serving as historian. This position was hereditary in the Yan family. Daily records written by others could only be unofficial history—only what they wrote would be recognized by people throughout the realm. Without even thinking, Li Er knew that if Yan Shigu died, Yan Shilu definitely wouldn’t let him see the daily records either.

Having failed to get the mutton and instead gotten covered in its stench, his daily records definitely wouldn’t look good. Otherwise, the Yan family wouldn’t be risking their lives to protect them like this. His reputation wasn’t good before, and now there was this incident of attacking a historian—it would probably be written even more unfavorably.

The Emperor, who had been battered these past days, could only rage impotently in the palace. He already suffered from wind disease, and now with this added fury, his old illness suddenly relapsed. Sun Simiao used acupuncture, which helped somewhat.

Yun Ye entered the palace carrying a large bundle to see Li Er. He was startled by Li Er lying in bed with a face full of illness, and quickly asked Sun Simiao whether the Emperor’s condition was improving and if the headache symptoms had lessened.

Li Er lay in bed looking at the canopy top and said weakly, “None of you give me peace. It seems you’ll all be satisfied only when you’ve angered me to death. Now each of you—what’s happened? You no longer directly point out my faults like before. I wanted to look at my daily records to correct gains and losses, but that’s not allowed. I never intended to change the contents. Whatever I did, I accept.”

“I’ve been a hero all my life. I absolutely refuse to lose face over this. Why can’t you trust me?”

After Sun Simiao finished taking his pulse, he withdrew. Zhangsun wept covering her face. The events of this period seemed to prove that the Emperor was no longer a qualified emperor. How could this satisfy the proud Li Er? As long as he knew where his mistakes were, Li Er believed he was still the Heavenly Khan who ruled the realm.

“Why did Your Majesty think of asking the Yan family for the daily records? Their family members are all stones—impervious to oil and salt. Your rejection by them was inevitable. When the Academy planned to have Your Majesty’s daily records printed as collected works, this subject was spat on all over by old Master Yan Zhitui. This matter couldn’t be accomplished.”

Li Er raised his head with difficulty, looked at Yun Ye and said, “You’re someone who doesn’t accept defeat. Did you think of some way to obtain the daily records? Quickly bring them here. I want to see them.”

“No, the Yan family doesn’t know where they’ve hidden the daily records. However, if Your Majesty wants to see your own history, this subject does have a method and has brought it for you.”

Li Er sat up with a start. Seeing Yun Ye place the large bundle from his back on the couch and untie it, he discovered they were all thread-bound handwritten books. Opening one, he saw four rounded characters written in brush on the frontispiece: “Annals of the Zhenguan Era.” He looked at Yun Ye with puzzlement, waiting for an explanation.

“Your Majesty, the Zhenguan era has been filled with continuous major events, splendid and varied. Those wanting to record this historical period aren’t limited to the Yan family. The Academy’s historians are also collecting and organizing matters from the Zhenguan era, compiling them into volumes. They’ve now written up to the fourteenth year of Zhenguan. Regarding the completeness of historical materials, the Yan family still has no way to compare with our Yushan Academy. Whether in manpower or resources, their family simply cannot compare. Aside from lacking palace secrets compared to the Yan family’s daily records, in matters of great affairs under Heaven, human sentiments and customs, geographical changes, promulgation of laws, and transitions in court government, it’s far more detailed than the Yan family’s.”

“Look, this Western Regions Chronicle—the principal author is Xuanzang. The Academy’s Historical Materials Hall also specially interviewed Hou Junji, Ning Dachang, and Qibi Shili, who led expeditions to the Western Regions, and interviewed no fewer than one hundred accompanying generals and soldiers. The Yan family doesn’t have these things. The commercial tax section was written by Prime Minister Fang, Vice Director Zhangsun, Liu Mi, plus the chief officials of Chang’an’s eastern and western markets, guild leaders, large merchants, medium merchants, and small merchants—these people provided annotations. After reading this section, Your Majesty will have a clear understanding of commercial taxes. In short, whatever you want to see—whether government decrees, legal orders, military orders, or punishments and rewards—the Annals of the Zhenguan Era has them all.”

“These materials are with this subject because the Academy needs him to complete the Southern Seas chapter and the Liaodong chapter. As for Qing Que’s physics chapter, it’s obscure and difficult to understand—Your Majesty need not read it. A person’s energy is limited and can’t cover everything.”

Li Er was delighted. Opening a volume, he discovered it happened to describe the scene of his dialogue with Xie Li at the Wei River. Li Er naturally remembered the White Horse Alliance clearly. After reading a passage, he pointed to one section and said to Yun Ye, “This isn’t right. The wooden bridge was only one hundred fifty steps. Where does this three hundred steps come from? How could I and Xie Li converse across three hundred steps? It was only one hundred fifty steps because beyond one hundred steps, even if there were powerful crossbow attacks, Wu She and the others would block them. Any closer would be dangerous; any farther and we couldn’t hear each other speak clearly.”

Yun Ye immediately took brush and ink, recorded Li Er’s words, tucked them into the book pages, then said, “Your Majesty, you can only read and excerpt from these books but cannot print them, because this involves copyright issues. As you know, the gentlemen of Yushan Academy pay no attention to money, but when it comes to copyright, there’s no reasoning with them—they’re far more difficult to deal with than the Yan family.”

Li Er nodded in agreement. Knowledge was already something that laws couldn’t regulate. Even as Emperor, he couldn’t. However, after reading just two pages, he became dizzy and lightheaded and had to stop.

Clearly high blood pressure—red eyes with swollen, distended blood vessels. Without good blood pressure medication, he could only tough it out. Seeing Li Er’s genuine suffering, Yun Ye said quietly, “Your Majesty, this subject has a folk remedy that can quickly reduce Your Majesty’s symptoms, though it looks rather unsightly. I wonder if Your Majesty wants to try it?”

Holding his head, Li Er quickly said, “Hurry! My head is splitting with pain. Whatever method it is, let’s get through this crisis first.”

“Your Majesty’s symptoms are actually excessive blood and qi. Since blood and qi are excessive, we just need to release some. Combined with Daoist Sun’s herbal medicine, it will definitely make Your Majesty much more comfortable.”

“How to release it?” Zhangsun and Li Er asked together.

“If there’s too much blood, just let some out. Draw blood from the ears. Half a liang per day won’t harm Your Majesty’s body, and the headache symptoms will immediately lessen.”

Without thinking, Li Er wanted Zhangsun to take a small knife and cut his ears. He had been tormented by the headache until he had no patience left. Li Er was accustomed to battlefields and knew this method came from war—quick and effective. Although it would bleed, it could save lives. This was the same principle as sawing off injured legs or arms of wounded soldiers that couldn’t be saved.

Seeing Zhangsun hesitate and refuse to act, he said irritably, “This is a battlefield method. When I was struck by an arrow, I used a branding iron to burn the wound. What’s this little pain? Hurry up.”

Zhangsun had no choice. Only she could do this—no one else had the guts to wave a small knife around Li Er’s neck. She burned the small knife over a candle, then wiped it clean. Steeling her heart, she made a small cut on Li Er’s earlobe. Sure enough, it was high blood pressure—a cut on the earlobe could actually produce a stream of blood.

Following Li Er’s instructions, Zhangsun made cuts on both earlobes. Two palace maids tremblingly held golden cups to catch the flowing blood. It wasn’t until the stream of blood became drops, and then stopped dripping altogether, that Zhangsun and Yun Ye breathed a sigh of relief.

Li Er rubbed his temples and said to Zhangsun, “Indeed much lighter. My eyes are no longer swollen, and my head doesn’t hurt as much.” Then looking at the two golden cups placed before him, he shook his head and said, “The loss is still somewhat great. Ancestral essence and blood cannot be discarded!” After speaking, he picked up the golden cups and drank his own blood.

Looking at Li Er’s teeth stained red with blood, Yun Ye wanted to vomit again. After Li Er finished drinking the blood, he rinsed his mouth and even swallowed the rinse water, thoroughly achieving zero waste.

Zhangsun helped Li Er to the bed. Seeing him close his eyes and fall asleep, only then did she leave the hall with Yun Ye. She said somewhat bewilderedly, “Affairs are complicated, with thousands of threads—how can they be sorted out clearly in a short time?”

“Your Majesty need not worry. What this subject delivered is the Essentials of Zhenguan. Chamberlain Wei is organizing the Supplementary Records of Zhenguan—three volumes with sixteen chapters in total, a catalog of all gains and losses in government affairs during the Zhenguan era, with summaries, lessons, and various remedial measures. It will be delivered to His Majesty tomorrow for study. Prime Ministers Fang and Du have also compiled their years of accumulated experience in government affairs into Insights of Zhenguan. They’re currently making deletions—I heard it’s no less than six hundred thousand words.”

“The Yan family, because they refused to let His Majesty see the daily records, felt ashamed in their hearts. So they’re preparing to present the Yan Family Instructions written by old Master Yan Zhitui to His Majesty, explaining their family’s views on education—a priceless treasure. Li Jing and Li Ji’s co-authored military strategy has long surpassed the Six Secret Teachings and Six Military Classics. It’s said to correct gains and losses, and they’re also preparing to present it to His Majesty…”

Zhangsun’s eyebrows immediately stood up. She said ominously, “His Majesty’s illness hasn’t recovered, yet you’re presenting books on a grand scale—what’s the reasoning? Are you preparing to humiliate His Majesty?”

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