HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 31: The Benefits of Being a Fool

Chapter 31: The Benefits of Being a Fool

Coming out of Li’er’s tent, Yun Ye was utterly dejected. He had figured it out, completely figured it out. That damned Ansi City was never actually Li’er’s obstacle at all. Yang Wanchun was nothing but a clown, thinking himself strong, when he hadn’t realized he was merely a slightly larger ant. Li’er need only extend one little finger to crush him countless times over.

He understood completely now. How could powerful gunpowder possibly fail to breach a broken city from the seventh century? If gunpowder could be carried around the world by a few deaf men, how could it be considered one of the Four Great Inventions? Let alone this type that had already been configured by Yun Ye using the most classic proportions.

The thing that Li Tai had been developing day and night in the sunless underground of the Wude Hall—how could it possibly be so impotent? This was granulated gunpowder! Tang craftsmen had extracted the purest saltpeter, found the purest sulfur from volcanic craters, and made charcoal from willow branches, each piece no thicker than a little finger, then ground in a mill into fine powder.

The people of the Great Tang had not yet learned to cut corners. The sixty-three procedures were strictly executed. At the slightest error, the batch would be immediately discarded. Finally, egg white was used to shake it into small granules. Although completed by hand, Yun Ye swore that what Tang craftsmen made by hand was far more refined than anything mechanical.

He had seen Ansi City himself. Since it could be breached before, there was no reason it couldn’t be done now. Even if winter had frozen the earth solid, greatly reducing the gunpowder’s effectiveness, what about before the ground froze? There was no reason why attacking Ansi City from autumn until spring should fail. What was dragging down the army?

Yang Wanchun? This was the most laughable joke of the Great Tang this year. Li Daozong had attacked the earthen hill furiously for three days and still hadn’t taken it. When had the Tang’s fierce soldiers become so incompetent?

The Xuanjia Army was hiding in the back watching the show. There was no reason why fierce soldiers who could scatter Gao Yanshou’s army of one hundred and forty thousand with a single charge couldn’t take down a single earthen hill.

The only explanation was that Li’er did it deliberately. He deliberately kept the army at Ansi City, kept himself at Ansi City. No one in this world had the qualifications to force Li’er into such a situation. The world’s most brilliant commander, leading the world’s most formidable army, held back by tiny Ansi City—was this possible?

Li Chengqian! Chengqian, you absolutely must not do anything foolish! Your father is keeping himself in Goguryeo precisely to see your reaction, to see if you’ll place him in a difficult position both internally and externally, to see if you’ll commit the heinous act of pulling the firewood from under the cauldron, defying all propriety.

What did it mean that Li You could be content as a peaceful prince for life? That was his own son. As long as he didn’t rebel, he would naturally live peacefully to old age. Good heavens, how could Li You possibly harbor inappropriate ambitions? You’re guarding against Crown Prince Li Chengqian, aren’t you, Li’er? Have you tested your own son to such an extent?

Hou Junji commanded the army on the grasslands, the Crown Prince’s Six Rates were in the capital, Gao Shilian whose intentions were unclear had been sent by you from Goguryeo to guard Luoyang, Li Jing lay half-dead in the capital, and fierce generals like Qigan Chengji had been sent to Youzhou. If Chengqian rebelled, did you really have confidence in quelling the chaos?

Yun Ye staggered toward his own tent. When Liu Jinbao saw him, he hurried to support the Marquis into the tent. Yun Ye drove Liu Jinbao out and paced in circles like a donkey.

There was no way out, no way out. This was Li’er testing Li Chengqian, and also testing Yun Ye. The word “rebellion” had already been mentioned—how could that be brought up unintentionally? As soon as he sent word to Li Chengqian, without a doubt, he would invite Li’er’s storm-like retaliation. No, this was too big, too dangerous. The lives of his entire family, young and old, hung on his single thought.

Gambling with silver, gambling with family property, gambling with noble rank—this old man had gambled with all of those, but he absolutely could not gamble with lives. Cheng Yaojin and Niu Jinda had seen through it long ago, which was why they had used Zhang Liang to warn him. When necessary, abandon friendship and preserve one’s entire family—that was the best strategy.

To deepen the impression, they had even brought up their own embarrassing incidents to illustrate the point. Those old fellows had truly used their hearts well. At the time, he thought they were simply talking about the way of survival. Who could have imagined that in the blink of an eye, he would face such a choice between life and death?

Can I just stop playing? Can I just roll back to Lingnan right now to go fishing? Can you just pretend I never came? You all rolling heads left and right is your business—it has nothing to do with me!

That fellow Hou Junji had already become wildly ambitious. After helping Li Chengqian rebel, he probably planned to play the game of holding the emperor hostage to command the lords. One need only look at how enthusiastically he supported Li Chengqian becoming emperor to glimpse a bit of it.

Wasn’t the key to power maintaining balance? Why break this delicate equilibrium? You do well, I do well, everyone does well and makes money—isn’t that fine? Must everything be done your way?

Yun Ye stared at the tent ceiling, sleepless through the night. Liu Jinbao, guarding outside the tent, heard the Marquis tossing and turning all night like a pancake on a griddle. That damned Yang Wanchun, causing the Marquis such distress!

In the morning, Yun Ye wiped away the eye discharge with warm water. His head ached terribly—this was from catching cold, probably with some fever. After drinking a large bowl of fire-reducing medicine, blisters still appeared at the corners of his mouth.

Old Cheng was startled when he saw Yun Ye’s pale face. Just as he was about to ask what had happened, he heard Yun Ye say bitterly: “Uncle Cheng, since ancient times, only death has been truly difficult. Knowing is easy, but acting is hard!”

Hearing these words, Cheng Yaojin immediately drove Liu Jinbao out. Looking down at Yun Ye, he asked: “You know?”

“I know. I know everything. Ansi City is nothing, Yang Wanchun is nothing. If His Majesty farted, he could topple Ansi City. How could this broken city possibly obstruct him for so long? Yesterday, His Majesty already decided to marry Xiao Ya to Prince Qi Li You as his consort. During that conversation, he said certain things. If your nephew still can’t guess, then he truly is a stupid donkey.”

Cheng Yaojin quickly pushed Yun Ye down onto the bed, saying: “Good child, we are stupid donkeys. We know nothing, understand nothing. Being a stupid donkey has its benefits! Your grandmother can live to a hundred, Xiao Shou can marry and have children, you can have several more babies. When the time comes that your knees are surrounded by little ones calling you grandfather and ancestor, you’ll know the benefits of being a stupid donkey. Your Uncle Cheng, Uncle Niu, and you—we’re all stupid donkeys now. Rest well and recover. Don’t think about anything.”

“How can I not think about anything? My mind is in complete chaos right now. Chengqian and I are brothers through life and death. Watching him jump into a fire pit—I really can’t bear to watch, can’t bear it!”

Old Cheng suddenly smiled, winked at Yun Ye and said: “It’s too late. Everything is too late. Even if you ride at full gallop now to tell Chengqian, it’s too late. What should happen will definitely happen. What shouldn’t happen won’t happen at all. If the Crown Prince truly wants to do something, he’s already launched it by now.”

“You’re also a general. You should know the principle that once military orders are given, everything is decided. If a ten-thousand-pound cart has already started rolling downhill, how can it be easily stopped? Rather than give up halfway, better to strike with momentum. Hou Junji is an expert in military matters—how could he not know the stakes? If they’ve already launched their plan, boy, you have no choice. You can only choose between His Majesty and the Crown Prince. Seeing you come to the front lines, we know you’ve chosen His Majesty.”

“Heh heh heh, that damned heaven is just like this—always making us constantly choose, constantly make decisions. At times like these, it depends on your judgment. Tell me, does the Crown Prince have any possibility of success?”

“He hasn’t a damn chance! This is His Majesty’s grand trap. No matter how they struggle, aren’t they just thrashing about within the circle His Majesty has drawn? I dare say, as soon as His Majesty appears before both armies, the soldiers will definitely bind up Hou Junji and the Crown Prince and deliver them to His Majesty to await judgment. If they truly rebel, Chengqian won’t have even the slightest shred of hope left.”

Yun Ye sat up irritably, slapping the bed board and cursing viciously.

Cheng Yaojin was even more pleased, giving a thumbs up: “Truly a clever child! Just this insight alone makes you a hundred times stronger than that fool Hou Junji, blinded by power and ambition. His Majesty rose to power through rebellion—he’s intimately familiar with such matters. Rebel against him? That’s seeking death! His Majesty’s realm can only go to whomever he’s willing to give it to. If it’s not yours, you can’t seize it. If you try to seize it, your fate will be dire. This has been verified by countless examples.”

Old Cheng was right. Right now, no one could do anything. They could only see whether Li Chengqian could maintain his integrity. If he lost his head and truly rebelled, who knew how many people would die this time? He truly couldn’t do anything. Yun Ye sighed deeply and fell back on the bed spread-eagle, tears flowing down despite himself.

“Watch your Marquis closely. Right now, he sees no one and goes nowhere. This is my order confining him to quarters. Someone with a cold should sleep well. If he leaves this tent, his life won’t be guaranteed.”

Hearing Old Cheng speak so gravely, Liu Jinbao’s sweat immediately began flowing. With a sobbing voice he said: “Old Duke, our Marquis was fine yesterday. How did he suddenly fall ill? Could it be that his previous illness hasn’t been cured at its root?”

“Exactly so. This time it’s even more dangerous than last time. Remember, he absolutely must not be exposed to wind. This illness truly means death upon exposure to wind.” Cheng Yaojin frightened Liu Jinbao again.

Terrified, Liu Jinbao quickly lowered the tent curtain and gripped it tightly with his hands. Only then did Cheng Yaojin leave the tent satisfied with his hands behind his back. With a simpleton like Liu Jinbao standing guard, Yun Ye couldn’t get out.

Hearing that Yun Ye had fallen ill, Li’er laughed dryly twice. The imperial physician had examined him and said his eyes were bloodshot, his mouth covered in blisters—this was caused by anxiety attacking the heart. As long as the knot in his heart was untied, there would be no serious harm.

“This is right. Boy, you want to hide in comfort? Where is it so easy? I too lie awake night after night, worried that Chengqian will make a misstep. Always letting me worry alone isn’t reasonable either. Now this is right—concern leads to chaos.”

“This is what a family looks like. How could my daughter be ruined by you for nothing? Entering the imperial family means not only enjoying blessings but also enduring endless suffering. Slowly endure it—this is just the beginning. The next year or two will be when you really suffer, boy.”

Novel List

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Chapters