HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 33: Despicable Scoundrel

Chapter 33: Despicable Scoundrel

Zhangsun Wuji reclined on a soft couch, constantly sorting through the documents in his hands. Seeing that Yang Yueli had been transferred to the North Sea, he sighed. This matter was within Yun Ye’s scope of authority. Originally, he had thought this person could still be useful, but now it seemed he couldn’t be used. The commander of the Yangtze River Navy had been replaced—Yang Yueli’s replacement was a stranger he had never heard of, someone named Liu Rengui. He had thought this person had some connection to Liu Renyuan, but after reading the resume, he realized the two had no relationship whatsoever.

Yun Ye could always find suitable people when he needed talent most. Whenever Zhangsun Wuji thought of the bustling students at Yushan Academy, his temples throbbed with pain. No matter how many people he bought off, he couldn’t keep up with the speed at which Yun Ye produced fresh blood. Both the Imperial Academy and the Hongwen Institute were inferior to Yushan Academy in both quantity and quality of students. The entire Yushan Academy was simply an enormous talent pool—the students there were naturally close to Yun Ye. After all, they were teacher and students.

Niu Jianhu, who had already assumed the position of Censorate Imperial Censor, submitted a memorial impeaching Zhaozhou Governor Zhangsun Huan for ten counts of bringing disaster to the nation and people. Each item, each matter had solid evidence. By rights, Zhangsun Wuji shouldn’t have seen this memorial, but Niu Jianhu seemed to have forgotten that Zhangsun Wuji was the Minister of the Department of State Affairs—such a memorial was still delivered to Zhangsun Wuji’s hall.

Zhangsun Wuji smiled slightly and continued reading. This was Yun Ye giving him a warning—it wasn’t really anything. Yun Ye wouldn’t go too far—a warning was nothing more than political blackmail. When he saw Cheng Chumo and Yuchi Baolin jointly recommending Yun Shou as Governor of Yuezhou, he finally completely understood what Yun Ye intended to do.

Cui Xiu couldn’t be kept, because Yun Ye had given Zhangsun Wuji a choice: to preserve Zhangsun Huan, he must abandon Cui Xiu. Otherwise, Yun Ye would truly move against Zhangsun Huan.

Thinking of Zhangsun Huan, Zhangsun Wuji began coughing loudly. Clearly a prince consort, yet he preferred to seek flowers and willows. He didn’t have half of Chong’er’s steady temperament. He actually dared to provoke people from Old Lady Dugu’s family—truly not knowing life from death!

Everyone knew the Dugu family produced beauties. This family had produced three empresses, but their temperament wasn’t well regarded. Everyone worried about getting involved with this family. Yet Zhangsun Huan actually dared to crash headlong into it. This made Zhangsun Wuji wish he could tear Zhangsun Huan apart.

However, he was ultimately his own biological son. Cui Xiu, a collateral descendant of a declining aristocratic family, couldn’t compare with Zhangsun Huan. Initially, he had worried about angering Yun Ye and hadn’t really agreed with Chu Suiliang contacting Cui Xiu, because Yuezhou was, after all, Yun Ye’s fief. Although like his own Zhaozhou fief it was only nominal, such blatant poaching looked too ugly.

Zhangsun Wuji extracted Niu Jianhu’s memorial and placed it in the furnace. On Cheng Chumo and the others’ memorial, he annotated the character for “acceptable” and stuffed it into a large stack of memorials. The Emperor had no reason to refuse Yun Shou serving as Governor of Yuezhou—it was he himself who had originally forcibly attached these prefecture names to various families.

Seeing the moon reach its zenith, the hall door opened. Li Yifu, carrying an elegant smile, brought in a pot of white congee. As if performing magic, he produced two small bowls from his bosom and, shaking them at Zhangsun Wuji with a smile, said, “Minister, rest a while and drink some hot congee to refresh yourself.”

Such goodwill was difficult for Zhangsun Wuji to refuse. A young person wanting to advance, flattering an elder superior—this was human nature. Moreover, Li Yifu himself was exceptionally talented, so Zhangsun Wuji chuckled and set down the documents in his hands, turning to sit up with Li Yifu’s help.

“Minister, today’s congee is excellent. No seasonings added at all—Xiangshui Village pearl rice, adding any seasoning would be wasting a good thing. My old father sent this humble officer some from Hebei. This rice is extremely hard, but as long as the heat is right, it’s the best ingredient for congee. Who could have imagined that immigrants from Guanzhong, after going to Liaodong, could actually grow the most delicious white rice in those white mountains and black waters?”

Zhangsun Wuji accepted the congee bowl Li Yifu presented and gently stirred it with a porcelain spoon. It truly was a fine thing—every grain of rice was full and plump, already cooked until the grains had burst open. The pale green rice grains in the white porcelain bowl looked beautifully lustrous. Without even tasting it, the unique fragrance of fresh rice assailed the nostrils.

Li Yifu also served himself a bowl, ate a large spoonful, closed his eyes, and his face was full of satisfaction. Seeing this, Zhangsun Wuji shook his head and smiled secretly. He too took a bite and found it indeed as Li Yifu had said—extremely fragrant and glutinous.

He had become accustomed to having a young subordinate bring him a bowl of hot congee late at night. This allowed a veteran official to feel genuinely respected while also experiencing familial warmth. Although he had many wives, Zhangsun Wuji preferred this intelligent young man’s admiring gaze.

After finishing the congee, Zhangsun Wuji wiped his mouth and said with a smile, “The congee was excellent. So tell me, what unclear points do you have in the ‘History of Sui’ you’re helping to compile? Let’s see if this old man knows.”

Li Yifu bowed awkwardly to Zhangsun Wuji: “This humble officer’s little thoughts can never escape your discerning eye. This time, this humble officer is compiling the ‘Biography of Li Mi.’ The academy teachers don’t agree about this person. Master Yuanzhang believes this person should be placed in our current dynasty’s historical records, not in the ‘History of Sui.’ So I wanted to hear the Minister’s opinion. You personally met this person—you have the greatest authority to speak, unlike others who are just engaging in empty talk!”

Hearing Li Mi’s name, Zhangsun Wuji’s gaze became distant. He had seen Li Mi with his own eyes—what a remarkable person he was! Whether alive or dead, he was an extremely remarkable person.

“Li Mi was the son of Li Kuan, Grand Pillar of State of the former Sui, inheriting the title Duke of Pushan as a palace guard… Duke of Yue Yang Su had the ability to recognize talent. Seeing Li Mi with the ‘Biography of Xiang Yu’ hanging from an ox horn, he said to his son Xuangan, ‘I observe Mi’s understanding and judgment—he’s not like you fellows.’ Xuangan thus wholeheartedly befriended him. Once he privately asked Mi, ‘The Emperor is very suspicious, and Sui’s fortunes won’t last long. If the Central Plains has one day of alarm, who between you and I will act first or second?’ Mi said, ‘In deciding victory between two battle lines, with shouts enough to intimidate the enemy, I’m not your equal. But in gathering heroes under heaven to command them, making far and near submit, you’re not my equal…'”

Zhangsun Wuji’s thoughts flew far away. He couldn’t help but recall the first time he met Li Mi—that man proud and self-assured, with eyes that held no one else’s existence. Even after being defeated by Wang Shichong due to his own stubbornness, he still remained full of confidence. By then he had already married the Late Emperor’s cousin Lady Dugu. Beauty charming, hero outstanding—everyone said it was a fine match… Until he was beheaded by Sheng Yanshi and his head sent back to Chang’an, only then did he see Li Mi for the second time…

“This person was, after all, stubborn and self-willed. Master Yuanzhang spoke correctly—as a Sui subject he was disloyal, as a Tang general he was unrighteous. So he cannot enter the ‘History of Sui.’ He can only enter the ‘Biographies of Disloyal Ministers’—he couldn’t be considered a hero…”

As Zhangsun Wuji spoke, Li Yifu listened intently at his side. Unknowingly, the third watch drum sounded. Only then did Li Yifu awaken from his absorption. He quickly rose and bowed: “This humble officer was presumptuous, actually disturbing the Minister’s sleep. I’ll withdraw now—the Minister should rest early. Only, the palace gates are already locked now—I’m afraid I can’t get out.”

Zhangsun Wuji waved his hand with a smile: “No matter, no matter. It’s still early—this old man can’t sleep anyway. Speaking of old matters for you to hear also serves to dispel some vexation. Not being able to return home is nothing—how many times hasn’t this old man rested at the office?”

Li Yifu bowed and withdrew. Before leaving, he also filled the furnace with coal and opened the window a crack—this would ensure Zhangsun Wuji wouldn’t be overcome by coal gas fumes. Zhangsun Wuji cheerfully watched the young man’s considerate actions—his old servant couldn’t manage such things.

Li Yifu respectfully held the notes he had just taken and returned to his own office room. He placed the manuscript on the desk, where there was already a thick stack of manuscripts—all records of Zhangsun Wuji’s narrations. These were all treasures! After organizing them into a volume and printing them, he could say this was “Fireside Night Talks.” Surely Zhangsun Wuji would be very pleased. Writing books and establishing doctrines—who wouldn’t like that? Everyone would only say this was an old minister teaching young people. No one would ever imagine that his truest purpose was to exhaust Zhangsun Wuji to death.

Master Yun had once said that to deceive others, it’s best to first deceive yourself. Deceive and harm people with a sincere heart, and the deceived will only feel grateful. Just like those conscientious quack doctors—they do exactly this. No matter how many people they’ve killed through treatment, no one will accuse the quack. They’ll only say their family member’s fate was thus ordained.

Today was the Grand Court Assembly. Zhangsun Wuji drowsily slept for a moment before being awakened by his old servant. Sitting on the bed, Zhangsun Wuji was somewhat dazed. Just last night, he had again dreamed of his youth, of those times of iron cavalry and golden spears. Back then he was so strong—his arms could even crush a fine horse when testing strength. He had even tried Yun Ye’s beloved horse Wang Cai—that was a fine horse. But look at now—his muscles had become very slack. Just supporting his corpulent body was extremely difficult.

He allowed the servant to wipe his face and rinse his mouth, then looked at the breakfast the old servant brought up without any appetite. He forced himself to take a bite of a steamed bun before putting it down and having the old servant help him into his official robes. Outside, the palace gates had already opened. A new month for the Great Tang Empire was about to begin with the Grand Court Assembly. Today they would deliberate on the “Commercial Laws”—he must summon twelve parts of his spirit. These mercenary types wanting to occupy a place in the empire—what an enormous joke!

The court was the domain of meritorious nobles and literati. If it was always contaminated by the stench of copper, what kind of decorum was that? They now thought that because they had some money in hand, they were qualified to stand in the same heaven and earth as meritorious nobles and literati? This was a dream!

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