HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 33: Heavens, Fifty Shi!

Chapter 33: Heavens, Fifty Shi!

The gloomy rain fell for five consecutive days. Everything in sight was soaking wet. The tents were uninhabitable—the thick cowhide had swollen from being soaked in water and gave off a rotting smell. Yun Ye felt like he was living in a garbage dump. The thin blankets couldn’t ward off the damp cold. Fortunately, he had a sleeping bag, which spared him the tragedy of the cold-calling bird.

Old Cheng suspended the training for Yun Ye and Li Chengqian. This gave Yun Ye an indescribable mix of sorrow and joy. On one hand, he was fortunate to escape the devil training, but on the other hand, seeing Cheng Chumo crawling and rolling in the muddy water while he himself sat comfortably in the tent, he always felt he owed them something.

The damp cold of autumn most easily invaded the bones and marrow, leaving behind the roots of illness. Old Cheng himself was a living example. Though not yet fifty years old and appearing strong on the surface, once he returned to the commander’s tent, he too complained bitterly.

His knees were terribly swollen. Every night Cheng Chumo massaged Old Cheng to promote blood circulation, and bowls of medicinal soup were poured down, all to no effect. Yun Ye hadn’t brought medicine for arthritis and could only take out anti-inflammatory medicine to persuade Old Cheng to take it. Who knew Old Cheng, knowing the preciousness of this medicine, would order Yun Ye not to give it to anyone easily, including himself.

Niu Jinda also reduced the number of his inspection rounds. Wherever he went, if he could sit, he absolutely wouldn’t stand. It seemed this old fellow was also tormented quite severely.

In Tang times, any adult who passed fifty was considered to have lived a full life suitable for joyous mourning. The underdeveloped sanitation system, lack of food, and frequent warfare caused people’s lifespans to be generally short. Unlike later generations where fifty was precisely when high-ranking officials were full of ambition and could easily strive for another ten or twenty years.

Yun Ye forcibly swallowed back his words advising them to stop training in rainy weather. It was obvious—in the coming years, the Great Tang would be at the peak of military campaigns. One more elite force meant one more chance of victory. Old Cheng wouldn’t care whether these people would have lasting ailments. As long as the Great Tang prospered, he didn’t even care about his own life.

One had to admit, he was a very pure person, a good soldier. Not only him—all the high-ranking officials’ children in the training camp had this awareness, persisting through gritted teeth no matter how bitter or exhausting.

Climbing obstacles with only a rope, ascending and descending steep cliffs—just one glance made Yun Ye dizzy, yet they had to climb fully equipped. This already exceeded the training plan Yun Ye had formulated. Old Cheng, Old Niu, and a group of old generals had stubbornly added and supplemented these subjects to Yun Ye’s plan.

Three months of training had shown results. These fellows could scale walls and leap across tiles as if walking on flat ground, rush a hundred li with ease, conduct surprise attacks, assassinations, break through encirclements, and capture prisoners alive as if it were routine. The only unexpected thing was that these people treated Yun Ye’s entrenching tool as their primary weapon, combined with powerful crossbows and military daggers, forming their own equipment system.

In the routine assessment ten days ago, a one-thousand-man annihilation force pursuing two hundred men within a five-kilometer radius was routed completely by these fellows—and this was direct confrontation. If Cheng Chumo and the others were allowed to operate freely, not one of those thousand men would survive.

After detailed evaluation of their combat capabilities, Niu Jinda believed that without more than ten times their number in elite forces for annihilation, these two hundred men couldn’t be contained. In special terrain such as mountains, forests, or cities, their abilities would be infinitely amplified—of course, this would be the effect after two years of training.

Both Old Cheng and Old Niu were anticipating when this force would shine. They believed they wouldn’t have to wait long—His Majesty Li Er wouldn’t let such an elite force waste away their years.

Today was a great day—the potato stems and leaves had completely yellowed and could be harvested.

Li Chengqian rose early. After being attended to by eunuchs for washing and grooming, he came to the thatched shed. Cheng Yaojin, Niu Jinda, and all officials of the seventh rank and above were already in full court attire, waiting respectfully in the thatched shed early.

A six-chi-long incense table was set up in the open space before the shed. On it were whole oxen, sheep, pig heads, fruits, and pastries. In the center was a large bronze incense burner that Li Chengqian would use to insert sandalwood incense during the sacrifice to Heaven.

Yun Ye wore fifth-rank military official attire—damn it, it was light crimson, unlike Old Cheng and the others who wore purple robes, held court tablets, had gold fish pouches at their waists, and silk mesh court caps gleaming like new, with two black ribbons hanging naturally down. They looked imposing and dignified, truly displaying the bearing of important ministers.

Yun Ye turned his head to look around. Why were all the people around him uncle-aged figures, each wearing crimson robes like cooked crabs, strutting about arrogantly?

Looking back, he was amused. Cheng Chumo, Zhangsun Chong, and Li Huairen each wore green robes and green caps, looking just like praying mantises. Seeing Yun Ye look at them, they even made faces. Just as they were about to speak quietly, they heard Old Niu cough once and quickly shut their mouths.

Li Chengqian was in full Crown Prince ceremonial attire, wearing the sky-reaching crown, with a coiled dragon on his chest, entirely golden yellow. He walked out from the tent with measured steps and stopped before the incense table, clasping his hands without speaking.

When the first ray of sunlight shone on the incense table, Niu Jinda’s booming voice called out: “The auspicious time has arrived. Crown Prince, offer incense.”

Li Chengqian took three thick sandalwood incense sticks from the table, lit them on the candles, kowtowed three times, then inserted the incense into the burner. Except for Old Niu standing to the side of the incense table, everyone else worshipped Heaven following the Crown Prince.

After the Crown Prince finished offering incense, he turned and took out a roll of yellow silk from his bosom and unfolded it. In his cracking adolescent voice, he read: “His Majesty has a memorial to Heaven. All officials, kowtow.”

Only after everyone knelt did he read the Emperor’s memorial to Heaven. This memorial wasn’t for the Great Jade Emperor, but for Shennong among the Three Sovereigns. First, it recalled Shennong’s past achievements, then expressed how the current happy life all came from Shennong’s legacy, then reported the production of new grain, then encouraged Shennong, asking the old gentleman to continue blessing the Great Tang with favorable weather and bountiful harvests. Finished. Then it was burned for Shennong to see. Yun Ye didn’t know if Shennong would see it or be happy. Yun Ye was very unhappy—the potatoes he had worked so hard to bring, all the glory went to Shennong. This was too heartbreaking.

Five large vats were all moved out. Old Niu stared without blinking. These past few months, Old Niu had worried himself sick over them. During the day he carefully tended them—watering, fertilizing, catching insects, mounding soil—just short of wiping the leaves daily. Now that they were finally mature, how could he not be excited?

Old Cheng was worried that if the high yield Yun Ye mentioned didn’t materialize, the crime would be deceiving the sovereign. He somewhat regretted reporting this matter so early.

“Lord Yun, you are most familiar with the auspicious treasure. Please harvest it yourself.” Li Chengqian was also extremely excited. After reaching out twice not knowing where to start, he turned and asked Yun Ye to do it.

Yun Ye looked at everyone strangely. Was there some special procedure for harvesting potatoes? He reached out and grabbed the potato stems and leaves, pulled with force, and out they came. Old Niu’s hand trembled as he watched, as if someone had yanked out his lifeline.

Looking at the potatoes in Yun Ye’s hand, everyone simultaneously gasped. They saw three fist-sized potatoes on the potato roots, each over a jin, exceeding expectations. One plant produced three jin! If one mu of land planted a thousand plants, wouldn’t that be three thousand jin? Even if this one plant was meticulously cared for and field plants couldn’t achieve this yield, even cutting it in half would still be fifteen hundred jin. One dan equaled about one hundred twenty jin, which was a full twelve or thirteen shi. It seemed this boy Yun Ye had already laid groundwork earlier, reporting the yield conservatively, only reporting fifteen shi, the minimum yield.

Cheng Yaojin was greatly satisfied, both with Yun Ye’s caution and the potato yield.

Niu Jinda wailed and cried. Li Chengqian sat down on the ground with a thump. Everyone crowded forward wanting to see clearly. Niu Jinda, who had been crying out, suddenly jumped up and roared: “Everyone stand back! Anyone who advances further will be executed!” Only then did everyone hurriedly retreat.

Yun Ye scratched his head and said strangely: “That’s not right. How come there’s only this little?”

Hearing his words, everyone collapsed to the ground. The Crown Prince’s face was full of smiles and he was just about to pretend to comfort Yun Ye when he saw Yun Ye grab a stone and smash the large vat open with a bang. The soil in the vat spilled all over the ground. He dug in the soil with his hands until he dug out three more potatoes, then nodded with satisfaction. Feeling it was somewhat quiet around him, when he turned to look, he discovered everyone had their eyes wide open, staring at the three potatoes in his hand. After a long while, Niu Jinda screamed: “Heavens, fifty shi!”

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