HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 33: Husband and Wife's Night Talk

Chapter 33: Husband and Wife’s Night Talk

Na Rimu was extraordinarily envious of Xinyue’s clothes—a crimson robe embroidered all over with flowers, a pearl crown on her head, and a trembling golden hairpin inserted in her hair with a peacock on it that seemed ready to spread its wings and fly.

One could see she desperately wanted such a hairpin, but Xinyue kept a stern face, making her afraid to move rashly. Pouting with grievance, she paid her respects to Xinyue, then turned and grabbed Yun Ye’s hand, refusing to let go.

Pointing at the hairpin on Xinyue’s head, she kept shaking Yun Ye’s arm—she wanted one too.

Xinyue’s nose nearly twisted with anger. Just as she was about to lose her temper, she immediately changed to a smiling face. She remembered that some days ago, she had applied to the Court of State Ceremonial for Na Rimu’s official robes—the attire of a seventh-rank noblewoman. A marquis’s concubine enjoyed this seventh-rank treatment.

Her face filled with smiles, she beckoned to Na Rimu and took out from the clothing chest behind her that set of official robes for Na Rimu—snow-blue colored, with a gauze middle garment. There was also a pearl crown, though the pearls on it weren’t as large as those on Xinyue’s crown, nor as elaborate as hers.

Xinyue still had a sense of propriety. She knew she could only show off her authority in front of Na Rimu and Yun Ye, not letting outsiders see, otherwise Yun Ye would be angry and she herself would lose face.

Na Rimu smiled like a little dog. Seeing there were beautiful clothes to wear, she looked left and right, immediately closed the door, and in a few moves stripped herself completely naked, preparing to try on her new clothes.

Yun Ye’s nose nearly bled. Xinyue’s jaw nearly dislocated. Na Rimu’s nearly perfect body was exposed before the two of them—towering breasts, rounded buttocks, slender waist, firm thighs. Her entire body presented an enchanting beauty.

This was the most beautiful clothing in the world—no need for embroidery, no need to hang pearls. Health itself was a kind of beauty.

Xinyue looked down at her own chest, then at her own legs, then gestured at her arms. Finally, her gaze fell on her high belly, and only then did she recover a bit of confidence.

As the senior wife, naturally she wouldn’t allow Na Rimu to randomly study how to wear clothes while naked. She stood up to help Na Rimu put on each garment properly, then said to Yun Ye: “People say marry a wife for virtue, take a concubine for beauty—they really weren’t wrong. Even on the grasslands you can find a peerless beauty. Husband, what skill you have.”

Looking at Xinyue grinding her teeth, Yun Ye could only touch his nose and smile bitterly. Who could have known that in two years Na Rimu would blossom to be so beautiful? That previously scrawny little girl had been inflated like a balloon. Daily horseback riding and labor had given her the most proportionate and beautiful body heaven could bestow.

Na Rimu kept showing off her new clothes in front of Yun Ye and Xinyue. A young girl wearing official noble attire—she actually wore it with a unique kind of beauty.

Xinyue finally saw it clearly—Na Rimu was just a barbarian who understood nothing. Her attempt to suppress with etiquette and status was completely like playing a lute to a cow. Though her face showed a helpless expression, in her heart she was laughing triumphantly. Such a woman had neither the ability nor the qualification to manage the Yun family.

The threat gone, her smile became increasingly kind. She took Na Rimu’s arm, standing with her before her large mirror to help Na Rimu dress up. No matter what, having the Yun family’s concubine be beautifully enchanting was always something that gave face.

The reputation of the Yun family’s second lady’s stunning beauty immediately spread throughout those noble households in Chang’an. Taking a concubine wasn’t worth the family head coming out personally, but those madams, secondary wives, and chamber maids in the household all craned their necks, preparing to see what kind of charm this grassland beauty possessed.

Women from the grasslands never hesitated to display their beauty. Their forthright personalities and bold actions were extremely refreshing to these women who had grown up secluded in inner chambers since childhood.

By the time the story spread, it became that Yun Ye had married a devastatingly beautiful concubine. Li Chengqian had asked eight times whether Na Rimu had any sisters—if so, why not invite them to the Central Plains where he would receive them well.

“When you take a concubine, you absolutely must not make me that unlucky best man. Last time when you married Lady Su, I still haven’t recovered from my internal injuries. They didn’t even wrap the clubs in silk—just struck directly at the body. I couldn’t take it. If you’re like your father with so many wives, and I get beaten every time, I’d probably die early. Please, I beg you, find another best man, okay? For instance, your younger brother Li Tai would be a very good choice.”

Li Tai, who was drinking tea, choked and coughed several times, waving his hands: “Those women are all maniacs. I saw some with long needles. Ye-zi, how’s your bottom? They strike very viciously.”

Li Ke, fanning himself and playing the refined scholar in the dead of winter, said softly: “Ye-zi, you do excellently as a best man. I think when I marry next year, I’ll also ask you to be my best man.”

Li Tai chimed in with a grin: “Let you be the best man for all three of us brothers. I calculated—each time you serve as best man, you’ll take over thirty beatings. According to imperial family rules, elder brother will have twelve concubines, and we two will each have eight. That adds up to over eight hundred beatings for you. Add the three princess consorts, and it’s about a thousand beatings total. Can you still hold up?”

“If you allow me to wear bright armor when you get married, then no problem. Otherwise, no deal. Otherwise I’ll become history’s first exemplar of being beaten to death by women for serving as best man.”

“The auspicious sign memorial about Wang Cai has already been submitted. Your Wang Cai will receive a reward—probably just some money and goods. Don’t bring up that rotten idea you had. Our dynasty’s official positions are noble and pure—they haven’t fallen to the point of being granted to livestock.”

These were the three fellows who specially came to congratulate Yun Ye on taking a concubine—foul-mouthed, malicious-hearted, and one of them was even scheming after Yun Ye’s non-existent sister-in-law.

After coaxing and chasing the three brothers out the door, returning to the back hall, he discovered Xinyue dragging her belly around the bridal chamber, busily managing everything—wrapping thick padding around the teapot, trimming the candle wicks, and constantly lifting the carpets to check if there were walnuts or other things underneath that might hurt someone.

Na Rimu sat before the bed, her eyes flashing as she signaled to Yun Ye, indicating he could chase Xinyue away. Even the most innocent woman didn’t want another woman observing her wedding night.

“The Crown Prince left? Why not chat a bit longer? It’s still early. When we got married, you came back very late. What, can’t bear to part with your beauty?” Xinyue sat down, glancing at Yun Ye sideways, indignant. It seemed that even Yun Ye spending a bit more time with Na Rimu was a kind of sin, and she herself had suffered a great loss.

“If you don’t want to leave, then stay. Who knows how much crying there’ll be tonight—better I watch from nearby.” An inexplicable heartache arose. Where was she actually working? She was purely finding excuses for herself to stay in the bridal chamber and watch how Na Rimu would monopolize her husband.

As soon as the words fell, Xinyue burrowed into the bed, pulling the blanket up to the tip of her nose, revealing only two eyes, bright and alert, ready to watch how the two would begin.

What beginning could there be? Time to sleep. Amid Na Rimu’s jabbering protests, he removed her official robes, pushed her under the blanket, also removed his outer robe, lay on the outside, and blew out the candle in one breath.

From inside the bed came Xinyue’s laughter, stifled with great difficulty, making one want to beat her. Given that she was currently pregnant, violence wasn’t appropriate.

Na Rimu kept muttering, even using her hand to draw circles on Yun Ye’s belly. Only after Xinyue slapped her bottom twice did she quiet down.

If one said Na Rimu knew nothing at all, that would wrong her. That day when she stripped off her clothes in front of Xinyue, she had a showing-off mentality. Of course, this also dealt Xinyue no small blow.

It made Xinyue fear that because of her pregnancy she couldn’t seduce her husband and would lose his favor, which was why she had tonight’s strange behavior.

“You two listen. In this lifetime, if nothing unexpected happens, I’ll spend it with just you two. Ah Yue is already pregnant—probably a boy. I don’t have the fate to have daughters in this life, though I desperately want one.”

“A lifetime is both long and short. Ah Yue, I originally planned to marry only one wife, as you know. Later, things came to this point—I had no choice but to marry Na Rimu. The grasslands are full of shifting winds and clouds, not something a foolish girl could handle. This child gave me her life. From both emotion and reason, I have no grounds to abandon her.”

“I’ve never believed in fate, thinking all things should be within my control. Very regrettably, in the end I’m still drifting with the current. Since we’ve reached this point, let’s live happily and joyfully together. Don’t be sad, don’t grieve. When I die, you can cut me into two sections—each keep one section as a memento. Consider it my atonement. This matter, when all is said and done, is my fault.”

Na Rimu hugged Yun Ye tightly, using almost all her strength, not speaking, just using her actions to tell Yun Ye how much she cared for him.

Xinyue crawled out from under the blanket, crying as she slapped Yun Ye once, saying: “On such a fine day you still speak inauspicious words. If you dislike this concubine, just say so—chase me out. But you insist on saying these words that stab knives into the heart.”

“Clothes off, lie down properly, listen to me speak. No interrupting.” Yun Ye got up and in two or three moves removed Xinyue’s clothes again, tucking her back under the blanket.

“Our family isn’t very big or very small. Though we have some reputation in Chang’an, we’re still a second-rate family. No one knows what will happen in the future, so I made some arrangements on the grasslands. Li Jing greatly questions my choices, but without evidence, he can’t make a move.”

“That old bastard has taken so much advantage from our family yet still goes against us—his conscience has been fed to the dogs. Husband, to earn a bit of money, you’ve exhausted yourself beyond human form, and one after another they still viciously scheme against you. Husband, if it doesn’t work out, let’s just hide at Jade Mountain and not go out. Na Rimu can also move back. Our family’s money is enough to spend for ten lifetimes.”

“Otherwise, let’s move to the grasslands. Sister will go too. We’ll herd cattle during the day, and at night listen to brother tell stories and watch the stars. The sky on the grasslands is the bluest. We’ll have Huan Niang watch the children for us, and Old Madam will sit in the tent brewing tea. How about it?”

“These two kinds of lives are actually what I most want to live in this lifetime. After the younger sisters all marry out, we won’t worry about court affairs. When spring warms and flowers bloom, we’ll go to the grasslands. Before the first snow falls, we’ll return to Jade Mountain. This is the good life only immortals have!”

At some point, Yun Ye discovered he had already moved to the middle. Two women, each holding one of his arms, softly spoke their ideals in his ears—one moment Jade Mountain’s ease and comfort, the next moment the grasslands’ vastness. With a smile, Yun Ye entered dreamland.

In his dream, everyone’s ideals were flying. With a light wave of the hand, the sweetest ideals transformed into sweet fruit for him to taste…

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