HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 33: Playing the Villain in Vain

Chapter 33: Playing the Villain in Vain

Deception is a form of disguise. We always feel lies are easier to speak than the truth, that they can embellish our actions. In fact, this is wrong. Facts are always facts. No matter how ornate the lie, it cannot conceal them. Sometimes speaking the truth will instead earn respect.

“His Majesty plans to divide future grand examinations into two parts. You know this, don’t you?”

“That’s correct. After His Majesty made his decision, he sent someone to solicit my opinion. I remained noncommittal, telling His Majesty that I am already aged. The court need not consider my existence. He may do as he pleases. Officials are those His Majesty will use in the future. Selecting them according to his own standards is a right bestowed upon him by Heaven.”

The old man slowly sipped his ginseng tea, greatly enjoying the flavor of ginseng. He answered Yun Ye’s question with serene indifference, as if he had truly seen through everything and no longer cared about the outside world. But judging from his fanaticism about the printing machine, this was far from the case.

“The fairness His Majesty speaks of is actually the greatest unfairness to the academy. How can we accommodate students with narrow knowledge just because the academy performs well? You are a literary patriarch. I only want to know from you your view on this matter.”

“Your academy has abundant resources, a beautiful environment, famous teachers for instruction, and countless texts available for reference. I hear the library has already emptied the book collections of meritorious noble families—astronomy, geography, medicine, divination, astrology, strange tales and miscellaneous discussions—it encompasses everything. Even things like turtle shells have been researched by you all and principles extracted. Students need only focus on study, without external interference, without worries about clothing or food. That their learning advances rapidly is naturally as it should be. Tell me, is this fair or not to those students from other regions who can only stay confined to their studies, wearing through iron inkstones?”

“Narrow vision inevitably means their thinking cannot be broad. Such students serving as officials is the greatest unfairness to the common people. Liang Jianpu stubbornly insisted on his own way, building roads where plank roads couldn’t be built, causing mountain collapses. Over a thousand lives were buried beneath piles of rubble. Who has pitied them?”

“Liang Jianpu was a good boy. Knowingly doing what couldn’t be done—that is courage. He always stood at the forefront of excavating mountains and opening roads. In terms of moral character, he had no flaws. Boy, which endeavor undertaken by our ancestors wasn’t pioneered through hardship and toil? Did no one die building the Great Wall, or did no one die digging the Grand Canal? One can even choke to death drinking water. If we were cautious about everything everywhere, we would certainly still be in the age of slash-and-burn agriculture. Wanting to drink a cup of good tea like this would be a dream.”

It was over. The old man’s evaluation of Liang Jianpu was very high. He only looked at character purely, not at actual results. As long as there was nothing to criticize in terms of character, everything else was minor details—including a thousand lives.

“When there are clearly roads that can be built without anyone dying, why must lives be sacrificed, and generation after generation keep throwing themselves in without knowing repentance?”

“Have all your books been read into a dog’s belly? More than a thousand people died excavating the Golden Ox Road plank roads, and mountain collapses happened more than once. Tying a rope around your waist and entrusting your life to Heaven, swinging a hammer on the mountainside—falling down is inevitable; not dying is the great fortune. Boy, their deaths brought a plank road that connected Shu with the Central Plains. From then on, the Land of Heavenly Abundance and the Central Plains could exchange what they had. Otherwise, who knows how many people would have declared themselves kings in Shu. Under continuous warfare, even more people would have died.”

It seemed the old fellow was also uncomfortable in his heart, quite dissatisfied with the current state of scholarly circles. Finding fault to admonish Yun Ye, he held a positive attitude toward Yun Ye’s achievements in mathematics, but held a questioning attitude toward Yun Ye’s moral character.

Forget it. There was no getting through to the old man. He knew there was no way to communicate. This was fundamentally something no one would yield on. Moreover, the old man himself hoped that after the nation was established, scholars would control court governance and manage those unruly military men. Naturally, he also wouldn’t give up the contest for every position.

Seeing Yun Ye dejectedly sit back down on his small stool, hanging his head without speaking, Yan Zhitui smiled and said, “What have you been worrying about all along? You’re only calculating these external conditions. Why don’t you calculate what your academy has gained? In this old man’s view, His Majesty doing this is the greatest unfairness to students outside the academy—it can even be said to be an insult.”

“What do you mean by this?” Yun Ye asked the old man in astonishment.

“The Academy of Scholarly Worthies looks down on the Imperial Academy. Those who take the Five Classics examination look down on those who take miscellaneous studies. Now we must add that those who take academy examination questions look down on those who take the regular scholar examination questions. What are you worried about? Just because your academy’s examination difficulty has increased, next year your academy will be even more lively. Scholars are base creatures—the harder something is to obtain, the more they flock to it. Academy disciples will henceforth look at other scholars with their heads held high. One phrase ’emerged from the classics examination’ will make other scholars ashamed and mortified. So the imperial family dividing the examination into two parts is a foul move and a helpless measure. This old man not speaking up is the greatest support for your academy.”

After hearing the old man’s words, Yun Ye discovered he was very much like a pig, expending great effort doing meaningless things. Using the mentality of later generations to consider the moral character of Great Tang scholars was inherently a ridiculous matter. Scholars of this era—their thirst for and respect toward knowledge reached a perverted degree. Kong Yiji, satirized by Lu Xun, was absolutely not rare in Great Tang. Recognition and understanding of obscure characters reached a perverted degree. They treated all obscure characters as learning—not to mention the academy’s physics, chemistry, and biological knowledge labeled as the ultimate principles of Heaven and Earth. This year’s grand examination would be a clumsy joke. Students who dared to take the classics examination would not only fail to receive respect but would instead be scorned as shameless people—willing to sacrifice all integrity for the jinshi degree.

Having figured it out, he naturally felt happy. When the time came, he’d flip his sleeves and watch Li Er’s joke. Not letting this old man enter Chang’an—even if invited with an eight-bearer palanquin, he wouldn’t go. Treating a broken city as treasure—this old man had seen three-hundred-story buildings before!

He had students push over Li Gang’s wheelchair. Personally pushing the old man to wander all over the academy, the old man sitting in the chair was a very witty elder, his clever remarks flowing like pearls, delighting the heart and refreshing the spirit. Coming before Zhangsun—that is, coming before the Tyrannosaurus rex skull that Zhangsun fantasized was his own—he told the old man about the fierce deeds of this ancient beast.

The old man got down from the chair, walked around the skull in a circle, and involuntarily reached out to touch the few remaining giant teeth. Tang people greatly admired teeth? All five teeth had been caressed until they shone with an oily luster—the same principle as later generation lechers admiring breasts. Go look at female sculptures in various cities—which sculpture’s breasts haven’t been caressed until they’re blackened?

“Boy, how do you know what this giant beast looked like in ancient times, and their living habits? Don’t tell this old man you just guessed it all.”

“Great ancestor, you worry too much. What I said naturally has basis. Speaking nonsense wouldn’t be right. Look, these are rocks collected from where this skull was discovered. These plants you’ve never seen before on them are evidence. Herbivores and carnivorous beasts—their teeth are absolutely different. One is flat, one is sharp. Just look at the comparison of wolf and sheep teeth and you’ll understand.”

As he spoke, Yun Ye took down a wolf skull and a sheep skull from the shelf, letting the old man see what was different. The academy now had a group of fanatical dragon enthusiasts, frantically searching everywhere for all information about giant dragons. Two fellows, to facilitate finding giant dragons, were determined to pass this year’s examination to become officials where the skulls were discovered. Their tools were all prepared.

The old man held the two skulls, carefully observing the mouths and teeth, nodded—indeed it was so. Putting down the bones, with his hands behind his back, he saw the dinosaur eggs on the shelf. Looking at the inscription below, he asked Yun Ye in surprise, “Boy, such enormous fierce beasts are actually oviparous? Ancient legends passed down that Pangu was born from chaos—this is truly surprising. However, giant dragons are also oviparous. With that as proof, it’s not hard to understand.”

Leaving the Giant Dragon Hall, they entered the Kunpeng Hall. The skeleton of the enormous whale Yun Ye had caught stood in the building. The bones had all been brushed with wax, appearing to have a bright luster. The old man sitting in the chair smiled and asked Yun Ye, “You killed this whale, then sold its meat to princely and marquis families? Boy, didn’t those people beat you up?”

“Who would believe such strange statements as ‘when a giant fish dies, princes and marquises should be wary’? During the Han Dynasty, princes and marquises pressed the common people very urgently. The common people had no ability to cope, and their hatred had nowhere to vent. A large fish died, and coincidentally a prince or marquis also died, so the common people believed there was a connection between the two. Actually, it was telling everyone to go kill large fish—once all the large fish were killed, all the princes and marquises would also die.”

The old man opened his mouth with only a few teeth and laughed heartily: “You boy, your ability to make far-fetched connections is comparable to Dongfang Shuo of the Han Dynasty, and your resourcefulness is similar too. It’s just that you have far more integrity than him. Hahaha.”

One old and one young, talking and laughing, came beneath a gantry crane. This was a set of tools used for teaching, densely covered with all kinds of pulleys. Seeing the old man’s frail body, Yun Ye suddenly had an idea. He said to the old man, “Don’t look at how you’re already nearly a hundred years old—in this youngster’s view, you still have the strength of a thousand catties. If you don’t believe it, try and see if you can pull up that boulder. This youngster believes you have such strength.”

“Is there something peculiar about that rock?” The old man understood himself very clearly, so he asked Yun Ye if the rock would be very light, if it was a fake rock.

Yun Ye didn’t explain. He swung an iron hammer and smashed it against the rock—sparks flew. Clearly the rock was fine. Yun Ye ordered the craftsman maintaining the gantry crane to hang the movable pulley to the limit. He tugged at it with his hand, then handed it to the old man. Puzzled and confused, the old man pulled the rope together with Yun Ye with force. He was surprised to see the boulder actually sway. Pulling again, he saw the boulder slowly rise into the air. He couldn’t help but turn to look at Yun Ye, waiting for his explanation.

“Actually, this is nothing—it’s a method of applying force. You needn’t think too much about it. These things are most taxing on mental energy and aren’t good for your health. You only need to know that the investigation of things is a very useful field of learning.”

“Indeed useful—building cities, constructing houses, transportation, water and land docks—the uses are great. Boy, since you’ve aroused this old man’s interest, then properly show me what kind of place of hidden dragons and crouching tigers your academy is.”

Novel List

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Chapters