HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 34: Expensive Iron Strips

Chapter 34: Expensive Iron Strips

The court was in an uproar.

Li Gang stepped forward, his right hand pointing at Yun Ye accusingly, his mouth trembling, unable to speak. After a long while, he finally squeezed out two words: “Insolent youth!”

“This subject impeaches the Marquis of Lantian, Yun Ye, for spouting nonsense in court, grandstanding to confuse the masses, showing contempt for His Majesty. Without punishment, it is insufficient to serve as warning to the realm.” A fellow of about forty years indignantly accused Yun Ye of talking nonsense.

Li Jing’s face was full of disappointment. Old Cheng looked worried. Wen Daya also sighed and said nothing.

Yun Ye stood in the middle of the court grinning as he watched the chaotic ministers. He gestured to stop the Crown Prince who was about to step out to plead for Yun Ye. Old Niu was just about to step forward when Old Cheng grabbed him and whispered in his ear: “Have you forgotten that when this kid does things, when has he ever rashly stepped forward without ninety percent certainty? This kid is probably holding back something wicked right now. That Academy of Investigation of his is dirt poor—these old masters won’t escape his clutches.”

He saw Yun Ye make a gesture to the Crown Prince—thumb and index finger forming a circle, the remaining three fingers pointing up. His son had told him this meant everything was completely fine. Setting aside his worries, Old Cheng and Old Niu watched from the side to see how Yun Ye would toy with these old masters.

Fang Xuanling stepped out of the ranks to question Yun Ye: “Marquis of Lantian, what you just stated—was it jest?”

“In reply to His Excellency the Director of the Secretariat, this official’s every word was true. It’s just that the various gentlemen don’t believe me.” Still that slovenly, punch-worthy appearance.

“Since that’s the case, this old man must announce that your wager with Minister Wen will commence tomorrow. If you have any mishap, a small punishment won’t be enough to quell the gentlemen’s fury. Think carefully.” The old man was decent—at this moment still thinking of Yun Ye. If there was a chance, he should repay him, Yun Ye thought.

Fang Xuanling walked to the center, holding his tablet in both hands, and bowed to Li’er: “Your Majesty, this old subject just asked the Marquis of Lantian. He is prepared to continue implementing the wager with no thought of going back on his word. For fairness’s sake, shall we permit him six days?”

“Approved!” Li’er was concise. He really wanted to see how Yun Ye would resolve this deadlock.

“This subject has something to say.” Yun Ye quickly ran out. How could he miss this once-in-a-millennium opportunity to squeeze money out of people?

“Some days ago, this subject was blessed with His Majesty’s reward. My household is simple and cannot use such vast wealth. Since I’m wagering with Minister Wen, why not make another wager with the gentlemen who just reprimanded me? Let’s use these ten thousand strings as the stake. This subject wagers that his idea will succeed. I wonder if the various gentlemen have the courage to wager?”

“This old man is Kong Yingda. Though my family enjoys modest comfort, a mere thousand strings is still manageable. I’ll wager with Marquis Yun. This old man sincerely hopes Marquis Yun will win, but in this old man’s view, it’s difficult, difficult, difficult…”

“This old man is Li Gang…”

“This old man is Cen Wenben.”

“This old man…”

Amidst the chorus of voices wagering on Yun Ye’s failure, a few discordant voices ran out: “This old man wagers five thousand strings on Yun Ye’s victory.”

“This old man wagers three thousand strings on Yun Ye’s victory.”

“In reply to Father Emperor, your son has accumulated some savings these past years. I wager two thousand strings on Marquis Yun’s victory.”

Hearing these words, Yun Ye felt as uncomfortable as if he’d eaten flies. Who was it? This old man was wagering money about to make a killing in all directions when suddenly several profit-sharers appeared. If this could be tolerated, what couldn’t? Which bastards were they?

He turned around viciously to look for them, only to see Old Cheng, Old Niu, and Li Chengqian, three robbing fellows, congratulating each other with cupped hands.

Fang Xuanling cheerfully added another thousand strings wagering on Yun Ye’s victory, completing the gambling arrangement. As long as Yun Ye won, the Academy of Investigation wouldn’t need to worry about funding for five years. If he lost, he’d probably have to sell the marquis’s manor.

Uneasy, Yun Ye specially confirmed the validity of each wager one by one, carefully tucking the wager agreement into his bosom. Looking around at the surrounding ministers, he grinned and cupped his hands: “Gentlemen, you may return home to prepare your funds. The Academy of Investigation is still waiting to pay wages.” Finally, it was Yun Ye’s time to be arrogant.

“Boy, if you want this old man’s three thousand strings, produce something real and concrete, and I’ll immediately have it delivered by cart. Otherwise, this old man thinks your marquis’s manor is quite nice and plans to take another concubine to install there.” Zhangsun Wuji teased with a laugh, causing the ministers in the hall to roar with laughter. Li’er also pursed his lips.

“Uncle Zhangsun, other gentlemen not believing is understandable, but you not believing is disappointing. Xiao Chong rode a horse with nailed horseshoes all the way from Longyou back to Chang’an. How could you not know?”

He then bowed to Li Xiaogong: “Many thanks for Your Highness’s three thousand strings. This junior gratefully accepts. As for whether horseshoes are useful, if you go home and ask Brother Huairen, you’ll understand.”

“Boy, are you saying my son Huairen rode a horse wearing shoes all the way from Longyou back to Chang’an? And the Zhangsun family’s Zhangsun Chong?”

“Of course, also the Cheng family’s Cheng Chumo!”

His Majesty Li’er couldn’t sit still. He immediately summoned Zhangsun Chong, Cheng Chumo, and Li Huairen to quickly bring three horses with nailed horseshoes into the palace.

Watching the three horses gallop on stone-paved roads strewn with gravel and broken weapons, the jaws of the various ministers nearly dropped.

This was possible? Just by nailing four semi-circular iron strips to the hooves, there was no need to consider hoof wear. Once the horseshoes were damaged, just throw them away and replace them. Marquis Yun was right—such a simple problem had actually troubled the realm’s generals and commanders for nearly a thousand years. How laughable, how laughable!

Li’er didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Li Xiaogong struck his son on the back of the head: “Why didn’t you tell me about this? Do you know your father spent three thousand strings on these four iron pieces?”

Zhangsun Wuji’s expression toward his son was also unkind.

“Father didn’t know. When Xiao Ye originally nailed the horseshoes on your son’s war horse, he made your son swear not to tell anyone. Your son truly didn’t know he would use it to trap you. Otherwise, how would your son dare conceal it?” Zhangsun Chong explained to his father with a mournful face.

Wen Daya sighed toward heaven: “This old man spent four thousand strings of state funds on four iron strips, yet spent them with complete conviction. This old subject is confused and dim, failing to see clearly. I humbly request Your Majesty impose punishment.”

Li’er smiled bitterly: “What crime does my beloved minister have? Using four thousand strings to solve a problem that has troubled cavalry for a thousand years is meritorious to the state. Today’s events occurred right before my eyes. The Marquis of Lantian has the ability to turn the decayed into the miraculous. In the turn of a hand, he schemed against us sovereign and subjects in the grand court hall. We fell into the trap ourselves and can blame no one else. Just in the future, never wager with this youngster. Even if he has reasonable requests, think thrice before acting. Don’t let him exploit loopholes again.”

Wen Daya nodded in strong agreement. This was something Yun Ye hadn’t anticipated—his desperate act had taught the Great Tang’s hundred officials a profound lesson. Henceforth, Li’er would repeatedly study his memorials to guard against mishaps. The Three Departments and Six Ministries viewed his reports like floods and fierce beasts, never wanting to experience spending four thousand strings on four iron strips again.

Old Cheng’s smile was so wide a fist could fit in his mouth. Patting this one, patting that one, he said magnanimously: “Old Li, if your family lacks money, just tell your brother. Giving you a few days’ grace is not impossible, but you’ll have to foot the bill at the Hairpin Flower Pavilion, haha.”

Old Niu’s rigid face also showed a rare smile. He nodded at Yun Ye with an appearance of relief. Li Chengqian was already so happy his teeth showed but not his eyes. Li’er found this distasteful, so he said to him: “You’re not yet of age. What do you need so much money for? Turn it over to your mother empress later to supplement the palace expenses.” Li Chengqian’s smiling face instantly turned into a bitter gourd.

Fang Xuanling cheerfully patted Yun Ye’s shoulder and said: “What a clever child. You’ve caught this entire court of civil and military officials in one net. This old man also followed the trend and gained a small profit. When the rest day comes, come sit at this old man’s house. Get close to Yizhi and Yi’ai. When the younger generation is together, they’re compatible—not like this old man who’s left with only nagging, hehe.”

Old Master Li Gang was an upright person. He said stiffly to Yun Ye: “You are clever and resourceful in youth, which is originally a joyous matter. But your methods don’t accord with the upright conduct of a gentleman. This old man knows you’re not one who greedily desires wealth, and that this was done out of necessity for establishing the Academy of Investigation. Since you wish to pioneer the study of investigation, you must establish yourself with integrity. Don’t step wrongly. Your conduct and actions should have proper measure. Better to take from the straight path than seek from the crooked. Otherwise, even if investigation studies shine for a time, without upright conduct it will be difficult to last long.”

Yun Ye was suddenly alarmed. This was truly the insight of a great master. He immediately straightened his clothing and cap, and bowed respectfully, his bow reaching the ground: “This youth receives your instruction.”

Kong Yingda clapped with delight: “The youth can be taught, the youth can be taught.”

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