HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 35: On Rebellion

Chapter 35: On Rebellion

The stone weighing on his heart had vanished. Everything looked pleasant. Why did Liu Jinbao smile so honestly? A smile that looked good deserved a reward. He tossed over a pearl, and the fellow looked even more foolish.

Why did the freezing rain fall so persistently? The tent was covered everywhere with crystal-clear icicles. Breaking one off, he found that icicles not frozen too solid tasted very much like popsicles. If only he could sprinkle some sugar frost on them.

Sprinkling a handful of sugar frost and sucking on an ice pop in the freezing weather was absolutely a fine enjoyment. Why did the great fire at Ansi City burn so beautifully? Orange-red below with rolling black smoke above. From time to time, even the aroma of roasted meat drifted over.

Holding an ice pop and watching three thousand Mohe rebel troops dig pits for themselves—Li’er hated betrayal most. The leader of the rebel troops had been flayed, hung red on a flagpole. His entire body was wrapped in another layer of ice. With bared teeth and grinning mouth, he possessed a very wild artistic atmosphere.

Li Chengqian didn’t understand why Yun Ye could enjoy this so much. He’d seen plenty of dead people too, but never one who’d been flayed. That Yun Ye could watch with such relish and endless praise could be considered a kind of skill.

The rebel leader’s fate terrified those three thousand Mohe surrendered troops. No matter how they pleaded or wept, Zhang Shigui still issued one hoe to every ten of them. Dig pits, and dig the pits larger. These Mohe savages who’d never experienced being buried alive desperately scraped at the pits, as if performing well might spare their lives.

“Ye Zi, let’s go.” Li Chengqian couldn’t stand Yun Ye’s strong tastes and forcibly dragged Yun Ye back to the camp tent. There was nothing good to see about burying people alive.

When Yun Ye’s mood was good, the atmosphere in his camp became cheerful. The past few days, frost could be scraped from the Marquis’s face. Even having won the battle, he still wasn’t happy. Now, watching the Marquis suck on his ice pop with loud slurping sounds, everyone knew his mood was excellent.

The Crown Prince had brought abundant supplies—dried meat and canned goods. Ren Xiong ate smoked meat in one bite and canned oranges in sugar water in another, juice flowing freely—quite satisfying. Only the prohibition on alcohol in the army was disappointing. On the ships, two liang of strong liquor daily was standard ration for everyone. From this perspective alone, being in the land army wasn’t worthwhile.

As long as his mood was good, Yun Ye had the impulse to cook. A large pot hung over the fire pit. Red chili oil churned up and down. Palm-sized mutton slices bobbed in the pot. Who in the army wanted those thin meat slices? Finger-thick meat chunks were the way.

Li Chengqian ate while constantly slurping. He feared spiciness most but particularly loved that fiery hot feeling. Today Yun Ye was overly excited—not only putting in too much chili pepper but accidentally adding too much Sichuan pepper as well. Now both their lips had lost sensation. Li Chengqian poked his lips with a finger and asked, mouth numb: “No sensation. Soon I must have an audience with Imperial Father. Going to see him like this is very disrespectful!”

“Bullshit disrespect! As long as you don’t rebel, that’s the greatest respect for your Imperial Father. You father and son play slowly. I’m preparing to issue documents from Dengzhou. The Lingnan Navy must assemble at Dengzhou, then begin blockading the sea area. His Majesty’s order is that not a single plank from this peninsula may go to sea. If the Goguryeo people have even a washtub floating on the water surface, I’ll be derelict in my duty.”

“Can’t you help me think of a solution? This can’t be hidden from people. Naturally I’ll be fine if I don’t rebel, but my father-in-law, Qigan Chengji, Feng Shijin, Du Zhenglun, Du He—they’ll be in big trouble. They’re all my subordinates. If all their heads are chopped off, who’ll be loyal to me in the future? You have more clever ideas—quickly come up with a good method.”

Yun Ye had eaten too much mutton. He fished out a potato slice that had been cooked soft from the pot, eating while saying: “With your temperament, you still want to seize the throne? Forget it. Actually, this is precisely when you can display your capabilities. After Hou Junji, Qigan Chengji, Feng Shijin, Du Zhenglun, and Du He die, it’ll benefit you. When they’re dead, the original power won’t disappear. When people are in panic, you need only use slight methods to make them take refuge under your banner.”

“Think about it—how many of Hou Junji, Qigan Chengji, Feng Shijin, Du Zhenglun, and Du He are wholeheartedly following you? What they value is merely future benefits. All have their own little calculations. Only when they’re finished will their power truly become yours. At this time, you should hope His Majesty strikes them heavily. Rescue? You still plan to find yourself more trouble?”

“Xiao Ye, I should have some righteousness, shouldn’t I? Finding solutions for them is also my duty as a superior, right?” Li Chengqian put down his chopsticks and asked Yun Ye hesitantly.

“Of course you must have righteousness. However, this thing depends on who receives it. You can’t see someone pitiful and toss them a great heap of righteousness. Save those worth saving. Those who turn around and betray you in an instant—if you give them righteousness, the person ultimately harmed will definitely be you. However, you needn’t take action either. In Hou Junji’s matter, you absolutely cannot intervene. His Majesty won’t allow you to intervene either. Du He has Du Ruhui as a father—he’s destined not to receive overly heavy punishment. Du Zhenglun is an official His Majesty assigned to you. Matters of life and death can be settled by His Majesty himself. Qigan Chengji and Feng Shijin—these two we can try.”

Having finished speaking, Yun Ye also put down his chopsticks. Solemnly, he said to Li Chengqian again: “Let’s make a wager to see how your judgment of people is. The targets are Qigan Chengji and Feng Shijin. We’ll disguise ourselves as Bai Qi Si people and first capture them, then interrogate them under torture to see if they can help you keep secrets. If they hold fast, nothing more to say—I’ll definitely support your future actions. If they can’t keep secrets, you’ll work honestly and no longer seek greater power. How about it?”

“You’re already torturing them—who can keep secrets? This isn’t fair!” Li Chengqian howled like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. He knew the principle that under the three wooden restraints, there are few brave men.

“None? Really none? That fellow who just stole food from my kitchen withstood interrogation under torture. I heard even when hung upside down with water poured through a funnel into his back passage—such cruel torture—he endured it. His Majesty relied on such a group of people to complete his great enterprise. If you don’t even have people like this, settle down early. My daughter-in-law is still being raised at your place. I don’t want the Yun family suffering with you.”

Li Chengqian paced for a long time before asking Yun Ye: “If people captured you and interrogated you under severe torture, could you keep secrets?”

“This, this—actually it’s very difficult. You know I’ve always been very afraid of pain. My courage isn’t great enough. If the secret’s importance exceeds my life’s importance, I’ll commit suicide. If the secret isn’t as important as my life, I’ll confess before they apply torture.”

“Then by what right do you demand others achieve this? You yourself can’t do it.” Li Chengqian began roaring. After all, testing his own subordinates like this—regardless of the result—wouldn’t make him too happy.

“I’m different from them. I’m smarter than them—simply a model of clever people. Clever people will smell danger approaching very early. Either hide, or flee, or set traps for opponents to fall into, achieving the purpose of counterattack. Do Qigan Chengji and Feng Shijin have this capability?”

“You should know their danger is gradually approaching now. If under such conditions they’re still easily captured by us, I even feel there’s no need for testing. Just chop them with one blade. Hoping such fools help you is an insult to you. A tiger’s subordinates must at minimum be wolves. What are you doing gathering a group of pigs? Can’t help, will only ruin things.”

Li Chengqian said extremely sorrowfully: “You clearly knew my subordinates were all a group of pigs, yet didn’t come help me. Led your entire family fleeing over ten thousand li away. I wanted to find you to think of solutions but couldn’t. At that time I felt so lonely, especially when Qing Que also ran away. I sat in the garden all night, just couldn’t figure it out. If you were there, my situation wouldn’t be so difficult.”

“Wrong! Qing Que and I running away was precisely to help you. I ask you—how much force do you think His Majesty is using to deal with you now?” Yun Ye placed his hands on his knees, sat upright, and asked Li Chengqian.

“Thirty percent, or twenty percent?” Li Chengqian said uncertainly.

“Correct. At most twenty percent. Once Qing Que and I are added in, His Majesty will use at least seventy percent force to deal with you. We two—one controlling the Wude Hall, one controlling the Lingnan Navy, not to mention my control over commerce. If we two stand together with you, haha, that would be lively! For you two biological sons, His Majesty might even suspect the Empress. My Uncle Cheng, Uncle Niu, Uncle Qin—them even more so. This is truly a force capable of overthrowing the world.”

“Using less force allows controlled release. His Majesty can control the degree of striking you. Considering you’re his biological son, he won’t punch you to death with one blow.”

“If we’re added, hehe, His Majesty will definitely go all out. Such a punch aims to annihilate enemies. How would he dare hold back strength? If you don’t parry well, that’s the end. You’ll definitely be killed by this punch. Regardless of whether His Majesty will regret it later, he’ll absolutely strike first. Having eaten so much bitterness, expended so much effort, bearing an evil reputation to obtain this realm—he absolutely won’t allow others to seize it.”

“Our best result would be dividing the realm with His Majesty to govern separately. From then on, no end of trouble! Between north and south, rolling war smoke. The Great Tang we’ve just built up fairly well would immediately fall into flames of war. Commoners displaced and homeless. Probably in the end we’d still be defeated by His Majesty. Thus, I’d use large ships to lead everyone fleeing overseas, and everyone would reestablish a country on the great sea.”

“What difference does such a result have from your being exiled to Yazhou? Besides countless soldiers dying in battle, commoners scattering and fleeing, the Great Tang riddled with holes from this great war—what benefits are there? Better to simply wait for you to be exiled to Yazhou, then we go conquer the world anew. That comes more satisfyingly.”

“Qing Que and I running away—we’re avoiding precisely that kind of result described above. Do you really like seeing that kind of result?”

Li Chengqian’s sweat fell like rain!

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