HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 35: This Isn't My Mother

Chapter 35: This Isn’t My Mother

After Li’er returned to the rear palace, he sat on a low couch with an uncertain expression. One moment he smiled involuntarily, the next he gnashed his teeth. When Empress Zhangsun came in carrying a bowl of lotus seed soup, he didn’t even notice. The empress placed the tray on the low table, came behind Li’er, and gently massaged his shoulders and back. Li’er grasped Zhangsun’s hand to stop her massage, pulled her in front of him, and said: “Guanyin Bi, let’s talk about household matters to change my mood. Today’s court session was truly chaotic.”

Zhangsun didn’t ask what had happened in court. As long as it concerned state affairs, if Li’er didn’t mention it, she absolutely wouldn’t ask.

“Your consort specially prepared five hundred strings today, planning to give them to Chengqian. He and Yun Ye establishing the Academy of Investigation without money probably won’t work. Your consort can only help them this much. The rest will have to depend on themselves. Second Brother, Yun Ye is probably Chengqian’s first friend, right? A few days ago when we saw the three of them fooling around at the Eastern Palace, your consort felt moved for no reason. Chengqian has never been as happy as he was that day. Your consort could feel it.”

Li’er was somewhat vexed. It seemed that just hearing the name Yun Ye made his head ache. He picked up that bowl of lotus seed soup at just the right temperature and downed it in two gulps.

“Oh my, did your consort say something inappropriate?” Zhangsun wiped the corner of Li’er’s mouth and asked with a smile.

Without good humor, he pushed aside Empress Zhangsun’s hand: “Right now hearing that youngster’s name gives me a headache. You don’t need to prepare money for Chengqian either. They resolved it themselves.”

“Resolved it themselves? Did you approve funds for them in court?”

“Yes, I approved it. A full twenty thousand-some strings.” Li’er’s heart ached just thinking about it. Four iron pieces had forcibly dug four thousand strings from him, not counting the ministers’ wagers. No one would renege on their debts. By the day after tomorrow at the latest, Yun Ye would have no less than twenty-six thousand strings of copper cash in his hands. What kind of logic was this? His palace halls had no money for repairs and had been left broken and dilapidated there for half a year. Did this youngster need over twenty thousand strings to repair a five-mu courtyard?

“Ah! Your Majesty, how could you give the Academy of Investigation so much money? Your consort calculated that one thousand strings would be sufficient.” Empress Zhangsun was greatly shocked.

“You think I wanted to!” Li’er recounted to the empress everything that had happened in court today. Zhangsun clutched her chest and let out a long breath, saying indignantly: “This is too outrageous! Twenty-six thousand strings—how many things could be done for the court? How can we let an underage youngster squander it recklessly? Your consort will summon Yun Ye to the palace right now. Leave him six thousand strings and deposit the rest into the treasury for other purposes. At the very least, we must repair the palace. Your Majesty finds it difficult to say, but your consort has no such concerns. He’s not yet of age—this is precisely when your consort should be managing him.”

Watching the empress’s graceful, swaying figure depart, Li’er’s mood suddenly improved. Anyone who gained twenty thousand strings for nothing while solving a great trouble would be in a good mood. Even emperors weren’t exempt from this.

Yun Ye, Li Chengqian, Cheng Chumo, Zhangsun Chong, and Li Huairen—the five were raising cups in celebration. Zhangsun Wuji was a straightforward person. He had his son haul over two large carts of copper cash, saying he accepted defeat in the wager. Li Xiaogong was equally forthright—another two large carts. Dumped in the courtyard, they piled up into mountains.

The colleagues of the Academy of Investigation revered the marquis like the Yellow River bursting its banks—unstoppable. White-haired grandfathers clutching ten strings of cash carried them to the storehouse without even stumbling. Sixty jin in weight! It seemed the saying “money can make ghosts push millstones” was true.

The “investigate principles and exhaust nature” gentleman acting as accountant had a voice that couldn’t be louder, causing idle officials from the neighboring two departments to crane their necks to look inside. Those who knew understood this was the Academy of Investigation. Those who didn’t thought it had been converted into a money vault.

Fushun Pavilion—the marquis had given the order. Today, after finishing cleanup, they’d leave work an hour early. The entire Academy of Investigation staff would go to Fushun Pavilion. The marquis had reserved the whole place. Everyone knew what kind of place Fushun Pavilion was. It wasn’t a place for ordinary commoners, nor for low-ranking petty officials. Located in the Eastern Market, it brazenly occupied the golden location at the market entrance. Inside, it was said to be not much inferior to the imperial palace, serving only high-ranking nobility. If the marquis hadn’t reserved the whole place, people like them would never dream of going in to take a look in this lifetime. They were riding the marquis’s coattails big time—they’d have something to boast about to neighbors for the rest of their lives.

After seeing off Cheng Chumo, Zhangsun Chong, and Li Huairen, Yun Ye stood in his courtyard waiting for someone. Li Chengqian didn’t understand who he was waiting for. When asked, he wouldn’t say, so Li Chengqian had no choice but to stand with him in the courtyard.

The afternoon winter sunlight fell on their bodies, making one feel lazy and languid. Chang’an’s climate at this time was moist and pleasant, not like the dry cold of Xi’an in later generations. The bamboo was still green, the pine trees remained verdant. Aside from the bare paulownia trees, one could hardly feel being in the depths of winter. A winter that wasn’t cold wasn’t good news for Yun Ye. The locust eggs in the shallow soil layer wouldn’t freeze to death, meaning a massive locust plague would arrive as scheduled in June. The court had made preparations. Judging from His Majesty’s intentions, he was prepared to bear losses. He just didn’t know if the common people of Guanzhong had such psychological preparation.

Picking up a tree branch, he unconsciously dug in the soil of the small garden. He didn’t find any locust eggs. Hopefully the historical records were mistaken. At this moment, Yun Ye would rather be ridiculed by others than have his predictions prove divinely accurate.

Empress Zhangsun should be coming soon, right? His Majesty Li’er, with the breadth of mind of an emperor for the ages, wouldn’t covet his twenty thousand strings. But the empress would be strange to let it pass. From these past days of contact, the historically wise and clever empress was through and through a landlady, and an educated one at that. If she had an opportunity to relieve her husband’s worries and share his difficulties, she absolutely wouldn’t miss it. How much grain could twenty thousand strings buy! Yun Ye seemed to hear the empress’s inner voice. Her old ladyship’s instinct for converting money was to look at the size of grain piles. She wouldn’t consider how much profit these twenty thousand strings would generate if operated by Yun Ye for a year.

This was an era of economic desert. People were still basically at the elementary stage of bartering. Not finding a single coin in an ordinary commoner’s household was absolutely not a joke, yet their family circumstances were quite prosperous. They had oxen, sheep, chickens, and grain. Today they lacked salt? Take a chicken to exchange. Tomorrow the family needed a few chi of cloth for the child? Easy—they still had a sheep. If Yun Ye lowered himself to become a merchant, before long, the former Great Tang’s richest merchant would become a joke.

“What wicked thoughts are you having now? After deceiving His Majesty and deceiving the ministers, who else do you plan to deceive?” Zhangsun’s pleasant voice sounded behind him.

“Your Majesty, permit this subject to explain. This was a matter of mutual willingness. How did it get twisted into fraud? Moreover, this subject did this for the Academy of Investigation. This Academy of Investigation carries the imperial family’s name. If we’re really going to talk about it, Your Majesty and this subject are in this together. If the title of fraud spreads, who would dare deal with this subject?” He quickly argued. He couldn’t bear the title of fraud!

“Your heart is truly punishable. You actually dragged His Majesty into the water. When you requested to hang the imperial family name, this palace already felt something was wrong but didn’t know where the error was. Now it seems you’re just relying on the cleverness in your seven orifices to act recklessly. Today, if you don’t have an explanation, this matter won’t pass.” Zhangsun almost said, “Quickly hand over the money and I’ll spare your life.”

For the first time, Li Chengqian felt he was too far behind his mother and Yun Ye. It wasn’t scholarship, absolutely not scholarship. He couldn’t articulate those two characters even if beaten to death.

“Your Majesty’s benevolence is enough to illuminate every corner of my Great Tang. This subject is infinitely grateful. This subject just happens to have obtained a batch of foul copper items. Under Your Majesty’s inspiration, this subject has decided to offer up half to support Your Majesty’s grace to the myriad people.” Yun Ye had the sincere appearance of one thoroughly reforming.

“This palace is the mother of the realm. What are mere foul copper items worth mentioning?” Zhangsun didn’t speak transparently either.

How ruthless! Yun Ye wailed inwardly. Half still wasn’t satisfying? You can’t make me busy myself for nothing!

“Your Majesty’s broad-mindedness truly makes this subject ashamed beyond measure. This subject has decided to offer twenty thousand strings to win Your Majesty’s smile.” No choice—this was Yun Ye’s final line of defense. If this didn’t satisfy her, he was prepared to throw a tantrum and roll on the ground.

“Ah, you child are so understanding and appropriate. In view of your sincere intentions, this palace will reluctantly accept it and will certainly spread grace throughout the realm on your behalf.” After careful consideration, Her Majesty with a face full of misery accepted the twenty thousand strings Yun Ye promised, left behind two accountants, and returned to the rear palace.

“Yezi, this is my mother?” Li Chengqian somewhat disbelieved.

“That’s right, this is Empress Her Majesty.” Yun Ye casually brushed off Li Chengqian.

“My mother isn’t like this.”

“That’s why I said this is Empress Her Majesty. Chengqian, you still need to study hard!”

“Yes, yes.”

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