The hateful palace gates—absolutely hateful. Last time he had the Crown Prince accompanying him, which was fine. This time he was being led by a eunuch, which felt like being molested. Li Er took his own life far too seriously.
He had just arrived at the Liangyi Hall when that wretched shopkeeper gloated at Yun Ye with bared teeth, looking as if to say “hit me again if you dare.” Seeing him walk with splayed legs—he was leaving the palace! Thinking he could run after tattling? Yun Ye was very dissatisfied. As they brushed past each other, he raised his leg and delivered another heavy kick between the shopkeeper’s legs. Only after seeing him curl up like a shrimp and fall to the ground did Yun Ye walk toward the great hall with satisfaction.
“My Lord, Sun Yuankai was originally a eunuch. Why would you kick his lower region, My Lord, making him unable to hold his urine?” the accompanying eunuch asked Yun Ye in a plaintive tone.
“He’s a eunuch?” Yun Ye’s eyes widened. Why would a eunuch keep so many women?
“My Lord, you didn’t know?” The eunuch discovered that Yun Ye’s expression didn’t seem fake and asked back in surprise.
“I beat him precisely because I saw he was hiding many women—the youngest was only a ten-year-old little girl. I thought he was an old bastard. Are you saying I beat the wrong person?” Though Yun Ye said this with his mouth, his feet didn’t stop at all. He wasn’t planning to apologize.
“Oh my Lord, those women are all official slaves, all family members of criminal officials. Her Majesty sometimes softens her heart and doesn’t want them to be ruined, so she places them at the Treasure Pavilion to do some work. It’s considered an act of grace.” The eunuch usually received many benefits from Yun Ye and, seeing him still in the dark at this moment, quickly explained clearly.
“Then what should I do? I’ve already beaten him. Do I have to swallow my pride and apologize?” Yun Ye turned his head to ask the eunuch.
“My Lord, he can’t afford your apology. You’d better think more about how to explain this to Her Majesty. It’s not worth taking a beating with the rod over this matter.” The eunuch’s meaning was for Yun Ye to quickly admit his mistake to Her Majesty. Admitting mistakes to the Empress wasn’t shameful.
As long as it was well-intentioned, Yun Ye generally gave thanks. He told the eunuch he would allocate ten acres of land from the Nanshan estate to him, which would be his future property. Needless to say, this eunuch was one of those members of the humble ones. The eunuch closed his mouth, quietly performed a bow, and followed Yun Ye into the Liangyi Hall.
This was where Zhangsun lived in autumn. The decoration was still so tasteless, with chrysanthemums placed everywhere—yellowish and dull. Zhangsun had even sent a cartload to the Yun Family. Xinyue said this was the color of wealth and honor, not available to ordinary families.
The palace maids in Zhangsun’s palace weren’t beautiful at all, nothing like what was shown in that movie from later generations. If there were gorgeous palace maids exposing their breasts everywhere, that would be outrageous.
Every time he met Zhangsun, she always appeared gentle and virtuous, but would soon transform into a tyrannosaurus. Yun Ye had long grown accustomed to it—it was always the same routine: first reprimanding, then reasoning, finally bestowing favor. Nothing new.
“Yun Ye, what audacity! You actually dare to bully this palace. Has this palace been too good to you these years, making you become arrogant and domineering, losing your sense of reverence? Today this palace will let you know what imperial majesty means.”
This time Zhangsun didn’t even bother pretending to be gentle and virtuous, directly facing Yun Ye in her tyrannosaurus posture. However, this move really had no威慑 power against an old hand like Yun Ye.
But when the Empress got angry, you always had to show some reverence. If anyone canceled even this segment, they would definitely be the stupidest stupid person in the world—being beaten to death would be getting off lightly.
“May Your Majesty forgive me. This subject has always held Your Majesty in the highest respect—how would I dare have even half a heart of disrespect? It’s just that the matter was of great importance, and I had no choice but to use thunderous methods to quickly achieve my objective. Otherwise, our Great Tang would have brushed past an enormously fortunate matter. Even now, thinking back, this subject feels chills down his spine.”
Zhangsun was stunned. There was an auspicious sign in her shop, yet she didn’t know about it? She wanted to say Yun Ye was talking nonsense, but countless facts proved that Yun Ye’s credibility had always been solid. If he said there was an auspicious sign, then there definitely was one. He absolutely wouldn’t send over a fat pig covered in gold leaf pretending it was a qilin.
Li Er held a scroll in his hand and emerged from behind the screen. Yun Ye looked carefully—the book had the Academy’s collection seal on it, no mistake. Forget it, he’d finish everything in one trip today. The fewer times he came to the palace, the better.
“Boy, take out the auspicious sign and show it to me. Just what kind of auspicious sign could make you lose your composure like this, snatching something from a foreign songstress’s hands? Bring it out. I won’t be surprised—whatever happens with you, I won’t be too surprised.”
Yun Ye pulled out five pumpkin seeds from the small pouch and placed them on the table. Li Er and Zhangsun looked very carefully. They unanimously confirmed these things were seeds. Thinking of the potatoes and corn in Yun Ye’s hands, Li Er’s expression became solemn as he asked Yun Ye: “I consider myself an expert at growing grain, yet why have I never seen such seeds? From their appearance, they look somewhat like gourd family seeds. Boy, if it’s winter melon, forget it. That thing damages the soil too much and can only be eaten as fruit—not worth the loss.”
From these two sentences, Yun Ye was amazed to discover that Li Er truly understood agriculture. Being able to judge the type of grain from the seeds’ appearance was no easy feat. He was practically an agricultural scientist among emperors.
“Your Majesty’s words are extremely reasonable. This is indeed a type of gourd. This subject calls this thing golden gourd, or pumpkin. The yield per acre is astounding, comparable to potatoes, perhaps even exceeding them. This gourd is both vegetable and grain. Without other grains, eating pumpkin won’t cause starvation. What’s most difficult is that this thing is extremely resistant to storage—placed in a cellar for a year, it will remain safe and sound. If Your Majesty campaigns in distant lands, this thing will be indispensable.”
Li Er nodded. He dumped all the gemstones from a brocade box on Zhangsun’s desk, even blew on it to blow away nonexistent dust, and placed the five seeds inside. Just as he was about to close the box, he stopped, extended his hand toward Yun Ye, and said to him: “Give me all the rest. Take them all out. You’ve always been sly and cunning—you think I don’t know?”
Yun Ye could only grimace as he handed over the other five seeds along with the pouch. Li Er took them, shook the pouch, sighed with regret, put all the seeds in the box, and handed it to Zhangsun.
Seeming somewhat annoyed, he turned and said to Zhangsun: “This Sun Yuankai has no eyes. An auspicious sign was right under his nose yet he completely ignored it—truly deserving of death. Such a good thing has been eaten as snacks for so long, leaving only these few seeds now. His crime cannot be forgiven. Strip him of his authority and send him to do menial labor.”
Seeing Zhangsun looking reluctant, Yun Ye quickly said: “Your Majesty, please calm your anger. This matter really can’t be blamed on Sun Yuankai. Who could imagine an auspicious sign was right under their nose? If this subject didn’t have some knowledge, perhaps I too would have missed the pumpkin. You’re making it difficult for a eunuch to identify crops. Moreover, this subject has already beaten him twice. Please spare him.”
Li Er glanced at Yun Ye sideways and said: “You always play the good person. That’s fine—harboring kind thoughts is always better than harboring evil ones. You tell me, back when I received spinach seeds, I proclaimed throughout the realm that as long as there were new crop seeds, I would definitely not be stingy with rewards. Why have you only brought three kinds? Since there are three kinds, there must be thirty kinds, three hundred kinds. Four or five years have already passed—why is there no news from others? With you as an example, this is the easiest and most feasible method for obtaining titles in the world. Why has no one come to claim rewards?”
Li Er’s thinking was particularly annoying. Perhaps all important figures were like this. Having potatoes and corn was simply because your Li family’s ancestral graves emitted green smoke, pulling me here from later generations. Otherwise, if you wanted to eat potatoes and corn—wait another thousand years! And three hundred kinds? Not all crops were suitable for growing in Great Tang. Introducing too many would also cause trouble, just like carp running rampant in America—big problems would arise. No biological common sense. What he picked up were all things proven safe and effective on this continent. Who would dare transport just anything over?
“Isn’t there an old saying: people become cheap when they leave their hometown? The same applies to crops—they all have an adaptation period. Not all crops are suitable for planting in our Great Tang. In this world, insects eat grass, birds eliminate insects, then birds are eaten by other things, and finally all living things return to the earth. Green grass grows from their bones—this is a cycle. If you destroy one link in it, great disaster will result. Without birds, insects will run rampant, and crops will be eaten clean. The locust disaster a few years ago was a catastrophe caused by the Guanzhong land being cultivated excessively.”
Li Er nodded and said to Yun Ye: “It seems haste makes waste. I always like to accomplish everything in one stroke, forgetting that things always have their own patterns. My Li ancestor said: the Way follows nature. Yet I, as a descendant, am actually eager for quick success and instant benefits—somewhat impatient. Boy, I’ve listened to your words today. One shouldn’t be impatient. Being hasty is never a proper way to do things.” Not knowing what Li Er associated this with, he seemed quite despondent, turned back behind the screen, and made no more sound.
Zhangsun smiled and pointed her finger at Yun Ye, meaning she was very satisfied, then pointed at the palace door, meaning he could get lost.
Understood. Li Er needed the Empress’s comfort again. Who knew how she would comfort him? How could he still have a child’s temperament after becoming emperor? When I myself do something wrong, I’ve never sought comfort from Xinyue. Important figures sometimes always need to put on a vulnerable appearance. Thinking about it, as the saying goes: softness cannot be maintained as defense, hardness cannot last long. When a man shows weakness, he can always coax out more care and concern.
He’d go home and act pitiful to see how Xinyue comforted him, then use that to deduce how Zhangsun comforted Li Er. That’s settled then.
Only after leaving the palace gates did he remember he’d been deceived by Li Er. The pumpkin seeds were just gone like that. He hadn’t gotten his book back either. Not a single thing he wanted to accomplish was achieved. Damn Li Er deliberately put on an injured appearance and swallowed up the reward he should have gotten. Discovering pumpkins was a great achievement! If you won’t give a title, at least give some money!
The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. The Treasure Pavilion’s shopkeeper was wailing and hugging Yun Ye’s leg, speaking words of gratitude about working like an ox and horse. Yun Ye, whose mind was burned foggy by rage, raised his leg and delivered another kick between this guy’s legs. In his screams, he finally felt a bit better.