Yun Ye screamed and flipped up from his bed. Without a word, he ran barefoot into the snow. Damn it, that was too frightening! Living until now, he only just learned that human spleens are yellow, livers and gallbladders are green, kidneys are black, and intestines are multicolored. They say that even after a heart is removed it can still beat—this damn thing was actually true! That heart was contracting and expanding right there beneath his feet.
That damned Yan Song scared him to death! Previously, watching Xiao Ying butcher pigs hadn’t frightened him at all, but now watching Yan Song kill people was completely different. He should have been vomiting, but now he was so scared that he’d even forgotten how to vomit.
The damned weather was so cold his feet had already gone numb. That damned Liu Jinbao—couldn’t you run a bit faster to catch him? Running while holding a cotton quilt like a turtle, his two legs weren’t obeying commands!
Under Yun Ye’s expectant gaze, the wailing Liu Jinbao finally caught up with Yun Ye, wrapped the marquis in the cotton quilt, rolled him up like a bundle, and carried him back to the tent.
“The fact that I just ran around the world barefoot must not be spread around. Watch out or I’ll silence you in my shame and anger.”
“Aiya, Marquis Yun, you suffered excessive fright. Running wildly is humanity’s instinctive response to seek benefit and avoid harm—what’s shameful about that? This old one heard that the executioner ripped open the rebel’s belly and piled the internal organs in a heap at your feet. That truly is frightening. As long as one isn’t accustomed to killing, who wouldn’t be scared witless? Being afraid is right—it shows you’re inherently a pure and kind person. The Crown Prince is even more seriously affected than you. He’s still sitting by the stove in a daze.”
Truly worthy of being an imperial physician! Two sentences resolved Yun Ye’s mental knot. Since it was a normal reaction for ordinary people, then there was no problem. Yun Ye had never categorized himself among that group of perverts. Han Zhe was the pervert—he himself was a good person.
Yun Ye repeated the phrase “I am a good person” over and over several times before finally settling down. He gulped down a large bowl of foul-smelling medicinal juice. Whether it could calm the spirit and nourish the brain, he didn’t know, but his empty stomach immediately felt warm and wasn’t as hungry as before. Now he must go see Chengqian—that fellow was even more fragile than himself.
It wasn’t far—just next door. He chased out the imperial physician to avoid interfering with the two patients discussing their conditions. Chengqian’s appearance was very worrying. He was constantly turning and roasting a potato on the stove, performing this task with complete concentration.
The potato had already been roasted to a golden color and was clearly about to be cooked. The entire tent was filled with the charred fragrance of roasted potato. Judging by the time, this fellow had woken up even earlier than himself.
Li Chengqian kept blowing on his hands to cool them, grimacing as he broke the potato in half and handed one half to Yun Ye. Yun Ye took the potato and finally felt relieved. Although he’d been stimulated, fortunately he hadn’t become stupid.
“Actually, I’ve already undergone this kind of training several times. Before it was killing puppies, killing lambs, killing chickens. Later it changed to killing pigs, killing sheep, killing cattle. Until I personally killed one of my own horses, I thought I was no longer afraid of killing. Who knew that killing enemies on the battlefield and killing those unarmed people on the battlefield are two completely different feelings. In the end I couldn’t withstand it. Did you withstand it? At the time I heard you speaking very tough words.”
“No, I fainted. Just now I even ran a lap in the snow barefoot—Liu Jinbao couldn’t even catch up.”
Hearing Yun Ye’s words, Li Chengqian nodded with satisfaction. At least there was someone who embarrassed himself even more than he did—he wasn’t the most pathetic one.
“Do you know, that horse I killed was very important to me, like the bond between you and Wang Cai. After that horse died, I never liked another horse again. I was afraid that situation would come again.”
“I can’t do it. If anyone wants to kill Wang Cai, I’ll definitely fight to the death. Wang Cai can’t lose even a single hair. To me, Wang Cai isn’t just a horse—he’s my brother. We agreed long ago to enjoy ourselves together until death.”
“This is your weakness. What if someone puts a knife to Wang Cai’s throat?”
“Easy—I’d immediately surrender. No need to think about it.” Yun Ye answered very quickly and decisively.
“That’s exactly it. My father the emperor says the more things you like, the more things you care about, the more weaknesses you have. I’ve discovered you’re very easy to control—you’re full of weaknesses. How have you survived on the treacherous court?”
Li Chengqian looked at Yun Ye from another angle for the first time.
“There are always people who want to control me. His Majesty and Her Majesty are one thing—I can’t beat them. But people like Dou Yanshan won’t work. I gave him a very good idea and even helped him find a gold mine. That counted as finally repaying his great kindness.”
“Like how he was ultimately bitten to death by crocodiles?” Li Chengqian snorted and lowered his head to continue eating his potato. The potato really was roasted well—charred on the outside, soft on the inside. Very good potato, with a mealy texture that was absolutely enjoyable to eat.
“Yezi, when I went to Longyou back then, it happened to be when my spirits were at their lowest. I had personally killed the horse that had grown up with me. If I hadn’t fooled around with you all in Longyou for a while, I estimate I couldn’t have emerged from that shadow. This time is the same—because you were with me, I wasn’t too afraid. Do you know, when I was bound to that chair, I turned my head and saw you were also tied to a chair, and I felt an inexplicable sense of reassurance. Originally we both could have endured it, but you provoked Yan Song for no reason. He killed people too disgustingly, which is why we didn’t make it through.”
“But this is also good. Father the emperor has high expectations for me, and I’m always disappointing him. Disappointing him one more time doesn’t count as anything.”
Yun Ye stuffed the last bite of potato, skin and all, into his mouth. Freeing his hands, he patted Li Chengqian’s shoulder and said: “Do you think you did wrong?”
Li Chengqian thought for a while and said resolutely: “I’m not wrong. I did nothing wrong. Whether from ancient scriptures or from the ‘Three Character Classic’ passed down by your teacher, they all say that people are born with good natures. As for Buddhist scriptures, they constantly promote this viewpoint even more. If one must become an evil person to rule a nation, then between my Li family’s traditions and the ancient sage kings, which is actually correct? The words ‘solitary’ and ‘widowed’ both actually represent ‘unique.’ ‘In heaven and earth I am supreme’—when emperors call themselves ‘solitary’ or ‘widowed,’ they’re actually emphasizing their authority. The power of life and death, taking and demanding at will—is this all there is to being an emperor? It can’t be!”
“Yezi, I don’t believe only tyranny can govern a nation. I will definitely become emperor. If I don’t use imperial tactics, can’t I still become a good emperor? I don’t believe it. I want to try.”
“Don’t be so absolute. Where there’s light, naturally there’s darkness. They’re twin sisters—you can’t escape them. Just as His Majesty said, if you have a bodhisattva’s heart, naturally you’ll also have thunderbolt methods. Just follow your own heart. Why make yourself live so exhausted? Being emperor is just a job. It’s not worth putting your whole self into it for a job. Moreover, in my view, being emperor is simply the most boring job in the world. Shutting yourself in the palace all day, more like a slave than a free man. Especially an emperor as conscientious as His Majesty—his days are even more miserable.”
Li Chengqian blinked his eyes until they were about to fall apart, but Yun Ye didn’t see. He suddenly remembered there should still be some raw chestnuts in his pocket. Taking them out now to roast on the stove would definitely be good.
The severe pain from the back of his head made him jump up immediately. Just as he was about to start cursing, he habitually bent down to bow respectfully. Being beaten by Li Er—he could only accept it.
Li Er snatched the chestnuts from his hand and placed them on the stove lid, pushing them back and forth. He found a comfortable position to sit down and said to Yun Ye: “Speak—how exactly am I miserable? If you can’t explain yourself clearly today, that won’t do.”
“This subject was just spouting nonsense earlier. Your Majesty is magnanimous—please don’t take it to heart.” Having been caught red-handed saying nonsense by the person himself, apologizing was the thing to do. Li Er was broad-minded—he shouldn’t care about such idle chatter.
“Mm, I’ve always been magnanimous, and you’ve always been accustomed to talking nonsense. This can be overlooked. But the notion that being emperor is a job is rather novel. Talk about that—I think there’s some logic to it.”
Yun Ye’s brain spun rapidly. He understood Li Er too well. The more he spoke this way, the more it meant he resented you. Don’t believe it? Just look at Wei Zheng’s fate and you’d know. Today he must smooth over these words, or there would be hell to pay.
“Your Majesty, Heaven created the four classes of people to sustain the people’s livelihood. As long as one is human, one cannot escape the fate of supporting one’s family. Farming households are an occupation, craftsmen households are also an occupation, soldiers are also an occupation, and prime ministers are also an occupation.”
“We won’t discuss the differences in their status. The final result is actually just earning silver to support one’s family. Although Prime Minister Fang might earn a bit more and can take two additional wives, if you look at their root and essence, they’re actually all the same.”
“Commoners and nobles, even Your Majesty—we jointly compose this mighty and illustrious empire. In this empire, everyone is working, which ensures this empire will remain glorious forever.”
“Farming households need to cultivate fields, craftsmen households need to work, soldiers need to protect home and country, nobles need to assist Your Majesty so that everyone in the realm has their proper place. The final decisions must always be placed in Your Majesty’s hands.”
“We are actually a circle formed by a thick chain. We cannot do without any link. So this subject says that even though Your Majesty is the supreme sovereign, you cannot escape the fate of laboring mentally and physically. The First Emperor of Qin had to review three hundred jin of bamboo slips daily. The documents Your Majesty reviews each day, if carved into bamboo slips, would absolutely be no less than five hundred jin, perhaps even more.”
“Since we’re all indispensable parts of this chain, then farming households are an occupation, craftsmen households are an occupation, soldiers are also an occupation, and prime ministers are also an occupation. So there’s no reason why the emperor, as the most important link in this chain, wouldn’t also be an occupation, right?”
Li Er noncommittally pursed his lips and said: “Silver tongue! The sophistry of the School of Diplomacy applied here is quite fitting. Consider yourself passed. The army is about to depart and return to the capital. Where are your warships?”
“They’re docked at the Liao River mouth. The Princess is responsible for vigilance, the Qingque is responsible for hunting, and the Chengqian is responsible for monitoring the sea. This order won’t be canceled until this subject boards the ship.”