HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 39: Utterly Deceived

Chapter 39: Utterly Deceived

“After fresh rain on the empty mountain, weather brings autumn in the evening”—this described the Qinling Mountains in September. The air was so fresh it was intoxicating. The moist earthy scent and the fragrance of wooden leaves made one only want to wander on the stone-paved road, unwilling to return.

With clear weather, naturally the journey was smooth. Whether it was Yun Shou’s mischief, Yun Mu’s coquettishness, or even Yun Lu’s childish innocence, all made Yun Ye very delighted. Nobility meant one should enjoy oneself. Na Rimu mischievously used her mouth to pass a peeled longan into Yun Ye’s mouth, inviting Xinyue’s great fury and Lingdang’s teasing. Yun Ye grasped Xinyue’s arm, kissed her on the cheek, and jumped down from the carriage.

What a wonderful mood—why couldn’t he immerse himself in it? Yun Ye kept chewing on the longan, unwilling to spit out even the large pit that remained. That pale human head washed by rainwater kept appearing before his eyes. No one would willingly become a stone to pave roads, right? At least Yun Ye himself was unwilling. He had previously thought that when Cao Cao fled, he used the corpses of the old and weak to pave Huarong Road. Today he had truly witnessed it. Just as Na Rimu had said, roads paved with corpses were not only smooth but also had elasticity. Originally, this kind of elasticity should be provided by rubber; now human flesh could achieve the same effect. This was really, really… damn it.

Not knowing what words to use to describe this feeling, Yun Ye finally discovered that cursing loudly was perhaps most appropriate. Could the waves of pine trees possibly cover the sound of his curses? Previously, he most enjoyed relieving himself to the sound of pine waves. Now Yun Ye discovered that relieving himself while cursing loudly might be the most satisfying.

Cursing loudly actually represented powerlessness. If there were other methods, Yun Ye wouldn’t curse but would choose to take action. He couldn’t beat Li’er and didn’t dare to. A few days ago, he was still worried whether Li’er would place him on an offering table as a white-cut chicken. Now wanting to jump out and plead for the people was purely seeking death. Forget it—just pretend he saw wrong. Those were actually stones, stones that looked very much like human heads.

“On the Bao-Xie Road, His Majesty used corpses to pave the way. Why did Marquis Yun remain silent? Is this still the man who once pointed at the Dou Family head’s nose and cursed loudly for the sake of a humble singing girl?”

“What corpses paving the road? I don’t know—didn’t see it!” Yun Ye turned around, the muscles on his face trembling.

“What you’re holding is a stone, not a human head. At that time, what was laid on the roadbed were human heads, not stones. How long does Marquis Yun plan to deceive himself? Your heart is uncomfortable, isn’t it? Was that flesh road comfortable to walk on?”

Heaven lacked sense to cast such a pest as Wei Zheng into the world. Having finally found a human-head-shaped stone in the pile of rocks to comfort himself, the old fellow exposed it with one statement. He truly was an unfilial son.

“Not bad, that feeling was quite good. When I return, I’ll have the Academy research how to make all roads under heaven feel that way. Actually, it’s not difficult—just mix the residue left from refining oil in the military camp with stones and sand, spread it on the road surface, and it can have the same effect. Duke Zheng’s words have awakened someone from a dream. I’ll return immediately to research this. A large pile of asphalt by the river is not a good thing.” Yun Ye joyfully cupped his hands toward Wei Zheng and planned to return to his family’s carriage to continue letting Na Rimu feed him longans with her mouth—that feeling was a thousand times better than discussing human-flesh roads with Wei Zheng.

“Hehe, this old man was just talking. Marquis Yun need not take it seriously. Just a few hundred lives—nothing to speak of. His Majesty’s safety is important, and our safety is also relatively important. The cheap lives of a few commoners are not worth mentioning. Marquis Yun need not take it to heart.” Wei Zheng smiled as he persuaded Yun Ye, but Yun Ye saw great anger in his eyes.

“Duke Zheng, your humble servant earned some money in Nanyang and always needs to pay road tolls. Those people used their bodies to build a road, yet I didn’t pay the toll—this truly shouldn’t be. What do you think of ten thousand silver coins?”

“Hahaha, ten thousand silver coins! Marquis Yun, what a grand gesture! More than two hundred lives calculated out—each person can get forty or fifty silver coins. Lives sold at this price aren’t cheap. They should be satisfied. But, Marquis Yun, can ten thousand silver coins buy your peace of mind? Perhaps some people aren’t willing to exchange their lives for these few dozen silver coins—what then?”

Wei Zheng pressed aggressively, not giving Yun Ye half a breath’s respite.

“Duke Zheng, this junior didn’t fill in those people, and the order wasn’t given by this junior. If you have business, you should find the person responsible. What are you looking for me for? I just want to tuck my tail between my legs and be an honest person now. I plan to see my son marry, my daughter wed, and bury my old grandmother in the earth, then casually finish out this lifetime and be done. Why are you forcing me?”

“Hahaha, indeed, justice is not in people’s hearts—people’s hearts care about power. The Recording Supervising Army of Baozhou has already been executed by this old man with the execution token. Everyone forgot that the Inspecting Censor of the Mountain-South-West Circuit this year happens to be this old man. No one has yet retrieved this gold tablet for acting at discretion. They say when censors leave the capital, if they cannot shake heaven and earth and overawe the prefectures, it’s a failure. This old man has executed the Provincial Governor of Baozhou just personally appointed by His Majesty. Do you think this move can count as shaking heaven and earth?”

It was over. The old fellow had gone mad. This was viciously slapping Li’er in the face. Shaking heaven and earth? What came next would truly shake heaven and earth. He just didn’t know if the old fellow could withstand Li’er’s fury.

“What can this junior do? You’ve already done things so absolutely—what more can I do? I had originally planned to find an excuse in a couple years to get this Provincial Governor killed, but you beat me to it. You’re forcing me like this—you must have something to entrust. This junior listens respectfully.”

Yun Ye didn’t know why Wei Zheng was looking for him after having already poked a huge hole in heaven. He had no ability to mend heaven—he’d see if he could help with the aftermath. Old Man Wei probably wouldn’t have a good outcome this time.

Wei Zheng seemed to see through Yun Ye’s thoughts and said with a smile, “Naturally this old man’s misfortune won’t implicate Marquis Yun. His Majesty also won’t make things difficult for my family—this can be certain. This old man only asks that Marquis Yun can preserve the lives of Hou Junji’s family after this old man meets trouble. This matter was originally something this old man had to do. It seems there won’t be any opportunity, so I entrust it to you.”

“Even if you didn’t mention this, I would do my utmost. This junior has received much kindness from the Hou Family—how could I stand by with folded sleeves at this time? Just rest assured. Even without the matter of the human-flesh road surface, this junior would spare no effort.”

Wei Zheng nodded and, carrying the box in his hand, was about to go to Li’er’s tent.

“Duke Zheng, what’s in the box you’re holding? You’re not planning to fight to the death with His Majesty, are you?”

“Hahaha, this contains the heads of evil thieves who harmed the people. This old man is going right now to ask His Majesty what wrong those two hundred forty-seven commoners committed to suffer such vicious treatment? Marquis Yun, this old man goes now.”

The old fellow was as carefree as if carrying a gift box to visit an old friend. Who could know he had already prepared himself to bear the storm and accept the worst fate? In this instant, Yun Ye believed that curing the old fellow’s eyes was truly too correct. The Great Tang perhaps truly couldn’t do without such a person, or such a group of people. Because beside the Emperor’s tent, a whole ground of censors was already kneeling, each one stretching their necks waiting for Wei Zheng’s arrival so they could together challenge the Emperor.

Damn it, this group of fellows couldn’t be provoked! In the future, upon seeing fellows wearing censor robes, he must take a detour. This was a group of madmen who completely didn’t care about their own lives.

Compared to the tall Wei Zheng, Yun Ye obediently hid his figure behind a huge pine tree, covered his ears, and squatted down. He didn’t want to hear anything, didn’t want to see anything. If he could burrow into a squirrel hole, Yun Ye definitely would. Even the squirrels looked down on Yun Ye’s wretched posture, throwing pine cones down from the treetop to hit him…

“The late Emperor’s enterprise was not yet half complete when he died midway. Now the realm is divided in three, and Yizhou is exhausted—this is truly a critical autumn of survival or extinction. Yet the attendant ministers do not slack within, and loyal and dedicated men forget themselves without, because they pursue the late Emperor’s special treatment and wish to repay it to Your Majesty. It is truly fitting to expand Your Majesty’s sacred hearing to glorify the late Emperor’s bequeathed virtue and strengthen the spirits of ambitious men. You should not belittle yourself arbitrarily, make inappropriate analogies, and thereby block the path of loyal remonstrance…”

Yun Ye began reciting the “Memorial on Dispatching the Army” in a small voice so that sound would boom in his covered ear canals. This way he couldn’t hear Li’er’s furious voice, Wei Zheng’s reproachful voice, the soldiers’ clamoring voice, or the ministers’ pleading voices. One must know that after covering one’s ears, one’s own voice becomes louder in the ear canals.

Reciting and reciting, tears flowed down in streams. Being a loyal minister truly required courage—unfortunately, he didn’t have it and didn’t dare. He could only wretchedly hide behind the tree secretly reciting the “Memorial on Dispatching the Army,” hoping the Emperor could tolerate Wei Zheng once more, and for the sake of his painstaking efforts, not take away his life. Although reciting the “Song of Righteousness” would seem more grand and impassioned, Yun Ye involuntarily chose the “Memorial on Dispatching the Army” because Liu Chan wouldn’t kill Zhuge Liang, but Wen Tianxiang died after writing the “Song of Righteousness.”

Only at this moment did Yun Ye discover that his dislike of Wei Zheng was actually a kind of jealousy at work. This was a very pure person. Previously, he had always judged a gentleman’s heart with a petty person’s thinking. For the sake of a group of commoners who became foundation stones, Wei Zheng didn’t even care about his own life. Such a person truly lived around him—one couldn’t help but admire him.

Hating that he himself wasn’t争气, and infected by Wei Zheng until his heart surged with endless thoughts, he allowed tears to flow freely, telling himself again and again: Remember, in a moment when you go out, you must wipe your tears clean, light a pile of wet firewood, and say you wanted to roast potatoes and your eyes were smoked.

Through misty tearful eyes, Yun Ye discovered that his surroundings seemed filled with people. With a wretched cry of “Ahhh,” he fled in panic, not caring who was standing beside him.

Li’er, with a face full of dark lines, asked Wei Zheng, “Why did he run?”

Wei Zheng chuckled and said, “Probably ashamed beyond measure that Your Majesty saw him crying bitterly—naturally he had to run.”

Li’er said doubtfully, “He’s probably the only person who can recite the ‘Memorial on Dispatching the Army’ until he wails loudly, right? This isn’t Wuzhang Plains. Even if he’s commemorating Zhuge Liang’s great achievements and unwavering loyalty, it wouldn’t cause him to cry like that. There must be something strange.”

Wei Zheng opened the box and pulled out an official seal from inside, saying to Li’er, “Your Majesty, the Goguryeo prisoners of war have been executed. This subject returns the order!”

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