HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 44: Living in Yangzhou

Chapter 44: Living in Yangzhou

When the old monk left, his expression was strange. He wanted to speak but hesitated in a disgusting way. If it were a beautiful woman, Yun Ye might have been in the mood to explain why he absolutely had to capture Qiu Ran Ke. But with an old monk with a sunken forehead and thin as a rail—forget it. Not to mention that climbing walls and jumping over ridges into someone else’s home at night to rob them was annoying. Without saying anything more, he sent the two monks away.

As soon as the old monk left, Yun Ye pulled out a sea chart. While he still had memory of that map, he added all those markings to it. Shaking the sheepskin chart, a new maritime territorial distribution map appeared before everyone.

Gou Zi scratched his head and asked, “My Lord, that old monk is really stupid. Couldn’t he think that you’d redraw the map?”

Faced with such an idiotic question, Wu She’s face immediately fell. Han Zhe directly left. Xi Tong patted Gou Zi’s shoulder and said, “It’s not the same, Gou Zi. The map the old monk took away was one I brought back from Daming Temple’s sutra repository. It can be used as evidence. But this map isn’t—this map was drawn by Yun Ye himself. No matter how much it looks like the real thing, it can’t withstand scrutiny. When important people do things, they emphasize conclusive evidence. Once a forgery is exposed, it becomes a catastrophic disaster.”

“Even if all your other evidence is real, if just this one thing is fake, and someone breaks through it—heh heh, believe it or not, kid, everything you say will become lies, and from then on no one will believe your words anymore.”

After Yun Ye finished drawing and put away the map, he smiled at the people in the room and said, “Old Master Wu She refuses to admit he’s old, Gou Zi has no brains, I wonder what Little Eagle, this male eagle, will be like when he gets to the sea. As for Old Xi, you probably can’t wait to become a pirate, right?”

Wu She said with his hands behind his back, “This old man has seen everything he should see in this lifetime. Last time when I took a boat with Marquis Yun, we encountered a waterspout. How can human strength resist the power of heaven and earth? In that wind disaster, this old man lost two teeth, and the Marquis was also knocked unconscious by a fish. This isn’t a joke. For the first time in my life, this old man felt fear. Fear is a great enemy of martial artists. This time, this old man comes to the sea to overcome this fear. Become a pirate? Forget it.”

Wu She was simply powerless to change Yun Ye’s chaotic ideas. The old fellow now regarded the sea journey as a difficult hurdle in his own cultivation, single-mindedly pursuing the highest peak of martial arts.

Having too many experts was also troublesome. Han Zhe always wanted to trouble Dan Ying. Xi Tong would spar with Wu She whenever he had nothing to do. Xiao Tie couldn’t beat Gou Zi and was often beaten until his teeth were scattered all over the ground, yet he kept fighting despite repeated defeats.

After Gou Zi had beaten Xiao Tie soundly again, Xi Tong stepped in. After giving Gou Zi a taste of his own medicine, he asked, “Gou Zi, tell me, is your grandfather more formidable, or am I, your Uncle Xi Tong, more formidable?”

Seeing Xi Tong ask seriously, Gou Zi thought for a moment and said, “If Grandfather were also forty years old this year, you wouldn’t last one stick of incense under his hands. Now, as long as your sparring time doesn’t exceed three quarters of an hour, you’ll lose. If it exceeds three quarters, Grandfather will lose. But if it’s a fight to the death, Grandfather would finish you off in one encounter.”

Xi Tong nodded, deeply agreeing, and from then on never went to seek instruction from Wu She again.

The weather in Yangzhou was hot and humid. Old Grandmother was getting on in years. After paying respects to Buddha, she didn’t want to move. Originally, to prevent Old Grandmother from having problems with the climate and water, all food, clothing, and necessities were brought from home, so apart from being somewhat dispirited, the old lady was fine in all other respects.

Sun Simiao also wanted to go to Lingnan, but the old gentleman didn’t want to waste time sitting on a boat. He insisted on bringing his medicine servant and gathering medicinal herbs all the way to Lingnan. Who knew when he’d arrive in Lingnan—they couldn’t count on him at this time.

This was Xinyue’s first time being in charge in Yangzhou. Yun Ye discovered she actually had great potential for being a villain. She would meddle in anything she found displeasing, and her meddling wasn’t thorough. When she saw good people being bullied, without a word, the Yun Family guards would rush up and severely beat the bullies. After beating them up, they’d stride away, leaving the good people to continue being beaten by the villains.

He knew that these years in Chang’an had nearly driven her crazy. Outside of Chang’an, she felt like a released sheep. Here she didn’t need to put on appearances for others or have scruples. With her husband backing her, naturally there was nothing to fear. Her handling of matters was even less reliable than Xiao Ya’s.

Yun Mu never wanted to leave her father’s side, so people in Yangzhou city often saw a scholar in blue robes holding his daughter’s hand, followed by a large dog, strolling on the stone-paved roads. He especially liked strolling with an umbrella in light rain.

Xiao Ya had a golden-haired female slave, so naturally Xiao Wu did too. Dong, Nan, Xi, and Bei didn’t like the freckle-covered female slaves and wouldn’t even allow them to approach. Ever since their brother said stupidity was contagious, they naturally reasoned that freckles must also be contagious…

The female slaves all liked to gather around Hypatia. In their view, those noble masters were all abnormal. The mistress actually let them eat three meals a day, and each meal was so delicious. Oatmeal porridge, a delicacy in their memories, here seemed to be eaten only by that horse.

The first time they ate at the Yun household, they didn’t dare touch those exquisite porcelain pieces. Although the bowls were large, those charming patterns on them—they had never seen such things. Breaking such a bowl would definitely result in being hanged.

Hypatia took great effort to make them understand that those bowls were for their use, and showed off the utensils she used, only then barely making them believe how wealthy their master was.

Must be a king—this was their own assessment. The maidservants all wore beautiful silk, which made them, clad only in linen cloth, even more inferior. Receiving the beautiful clothes given to them, they believed this was treatment only princesses could have. The king must have taken a fancy to them and wanted them as mistresses. This was the most natural way of thinking. Apart from their bodies, they had nothing.

Dressed up beautifully, they shared their doubts with Hypatia, nearly laughing her to death. As a prank, she pointed at the just-returned Yun Ye and Yun Mu and told them that was His Majesty the King and Her Highness the Princess.

For offering themselves to the noble King, they were severely punished by the vicious Queen. Seeking instruction again from the omnipotent Saint Hypatia, Her Holiness the Saint mercifully described the Queen’s malice. She had once used a guillotine blade to sever the thighs of several warriors, and had cut off the limbs of her rival, throwing her into the wilderness. She was moody and capricious. His Majesty the King was already very tired of her. If the beautiful female slaves just tried harder, perhaps they could gain His Majesty’s favor and depose the vicious Queen.

Hearing what Her Holiness the Saint said, the female slaves made their beauty and diligence their capital. Some clever female slaves even made small modifications to their clothes, exposing half their breasts, making those household guards drool with desire.

When the clever Xiao Wu finally learned a few phrases of Hebrew and gradually figured out what these female slaves were thinking, the furious Xinyue went to settle accounts with Hypatia. When did she become a vicious queen who cut off her rival’s legs and threw her into the wilderness? Xinyue cared very much about her reputation.

“There’s nothing wrong with this. In the West, a marquis is equivalent to a king. Even some very minor earls and viscounts are kings. Calling you a queen is not wrong at all. How could those stupid female slaves distinguish the complex title system of the Great Tang? We can only speak this way. As for killing rivals, didn’t you have thoughts of pickling Na Rimu in a jar?”

“If it were me, I would. If I truly fell in love with someone, I’d watch him closely and absolutely wouldn’t give other women any opportunity. If there really was a rival, I’d definitely pickle her in a jar, with lots and lots of salt.”

Although Xinyue had a sharp tongue, once she faced Hypatia she had no room to retort, because Xinyue often cursed that she’d turn Na Rimu into pickled meat whenever she found her displeasing. Now that someone had caught her words, she regretted her previous unguarded speech.

Yun Ye was very busy. After refusing all banquet invitations, he was still very busy. Lingdang was six months pregnant and only now started vomiting terribly, stranger than anyone. Other people vomit at two or three months—she vomited when her belly was bulging. Apart from the vegetable noodles Yun Ye made, she could eat a little. Even eating a piece of fruit would make her vomit.

Na Rimu’s whole body broke out in many bumps. This was simply life-threatening. Yun Mu was kept far away by Xinyue, fearing contagion. Xinyue even wanted to isolate her husband, but was thoroughly scolded by Yun Ye. It was just some eczema, due to not adapting to the climate and water. Once the rash went down, she’d be fine. What was there to avoid?

Throughout the day, Yun Ye had to cook for Lingdang and apply medicine to Na Rimu. Just when he opened the sea charts in his study, he’d hear Na Rimu loudly shouting about itching. There was no peaceful moment all day long.

Qiu Hu’s work efficiency was very high. Sea charts were continuously being delivered. After Liu Fang processed them, he would add markings to a new sea chart. Yun Ye searched his memory exhaustively, recalling maps from later generations, continuously adding islands he knew onto it.

The sea charts from Daming Temple were also delivered. Finding usable ones from the mountains of accumulated sea charts was very tedious, very boring work. Without Liu Fang’s help, it would have been impossible for Yun Ye to complete it himself.

To play the game well, one had to make countless preparations. Only with sufficient preparation could one be a good pirate. Yun Ye didn’t want to become someone else’s plunder target at sea. At this time, the monks of Daming Temple had probably already conveyed the news that Yun Ye had come with ill intentions to Qiu Ran Ke. This fellow’s ability to be invincible on the high seas shouldn’t be an empty reputation. Moreover, with Li Jing’s covert support behind him, the military equipment he obtained probably wasn’t much less than Yun Ye’s.

Yun Ye’s days in Yangzhou were extremely fulfilling. Taking care of two junior wives, he also had to watch that his senior wife didn’t go out and cause more trouble. The Yangzhou government was already subtly spreading rumors that Xinyue had lost her mind. Since they were guests, they shouldn’t make things too difficult for their hosts.

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