HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 44: Talking Nonsense

Chapter 44: Talking Nonsense

“What’s going on? According to what you say, a person whose life force is severed can still talk to me. Didn’t you hear she still wants to go with me to Beiting? This doesn’t look at all like someone about to die. Just now I even felt her pulse. Aside from beating a bit slowly, there’s no problem. After warming up, it’ll be fine.”

The weather was too cold. Around Wang Cai’s nostrils was all white frost. As Yun Ye spoke, he used his handkerchief to vigorously wipe it—all ice shards. Seeing the cotton quilt wrapped around the belly was also a bit loose, he rearranged it, stroked Wang Cai’s mane, and waited for Wushe to explain this matter clearly.

“In Jin times, Zhang Hua in Volume One of the ‘Records of Diverse Matters’ spoke very clearly: Do not dwell near severed streams, mass graves, or haunts of foxes and insects. Near these places is where death qi lurks hidden. Back then, this woman was abandoned at a mass burial ground, keeping company with foxes and insects, in the company of corpses. Her body has long been eroded by death qi. That she could barely survive until now is already an anomaly. Unless you go to the Western Regions to find the safflower and make her blood qi regenerate, perhaps there’s still hope of saving her.”

Yun Ye had lived in Great Tang for so many years—he long ago stopped believing the nonsense in many books. Being thrown onto a mass burial ground without dying and not contracting plague meant she hadn’t been invaded by bacteria. A few more foxes and insects appearing at a mass burial ground—what was so strange about that? Those insects weren’t necessarily dirtier than flies. Yun Ye was even clearer about herbal medicine efficacy—their effects were extremely slow. If infected with common bacteria, Sun Simiao had penicillin there—what big deal was that? What safflower? He’d never heard of it. However, these years, the Cheng Family had practically turned the Western Regions upside down, moving all good things home. If the Western Regions had this thing, the Cheng Family’s treasury must have piled up quite a bit. Tianmoji must be sick—how big a deal was this? Making it all mystical—almost scaring Wang Cai badly.

After Yun Ye pulled Wushe inside the room to sit down, he said: “From now on, you absolutely must not believe the nonsense of books like the ‘Records of Diverse Matters.’ It says in the book that in the Southern Sea there are mermaid people whose tears turn into pearls when sad. Is there such a thing?”

“Who dares claim to be more familiar with the Southern Sea than our family? Our family’s storeroom has quite a few pearls, but which one transformed from mermaid tears? Aren’t they all dug out from old oyster shells by pearl diving women working hard?”

“He also says there was a woman who gave birth to a child that ran away without a trace just after landing on the ground. Could it be you also believe this? Actually, you are the one who should make a trip to Kunlun. You’ve already almost reached the end of the martial path. There’s no longer any reference object to compare with, so confusion arises in your heart. People cannot be confused. Once they start being confused, they’ll become superstitious about ghosts and gods. As long as you personally go to Kunlun to look at the Heavenly Lake, you’ll understand. It’s just a puddle. There’s nothing there. Oh, perhaps there are some strange beasts, but for you this isn’t an obstacle. You’ve walked to your current level—eighty-some years old yet your blood and qi are still vigorous. This is something you cultivated through bitter training. It has nothing to do with immortals. This time I’m going to Beiting—if you’re willing, come along too. Let Xiao Miao accompany you. Go see the so-called West Kunlun.”

Wushe kept silent. He had searched through all the classics at the Academy without finding any books that could resolve his confusion. The only ones that came close were those strange theories and odd discussions.

“Watch how I cure Tianmoji. What the hell—what’s called death qi invasion? Since the safflower you mentioned comes from the Western Regions, then there’s no need to go to the Western Regions to find it. Chang’an has plenty. Just because you can’t find it doesn’t mean I can’t find it either.” After Yun Ye finished speaking, he loudly called for Liu Jinbao to come saddle up Wang Cai. He himself wanted to take Tianmoji to Sun Simiao to see a doctor. Guarding a living immortal without seeking help, but instead going to find non-existent immortals.

Although Tianmoji was stubborn, the family head had spoken. She could only let two servant women lift her into the warm carriage and follow Yun Ye to Sun Simiao’s place.

Tianmoji smiled bitterly and shook her head. She was clear about her own body. Not only was her body temperature dropping, but every night evil ghosts came to find her. That she could persist for several years was entirely because the Yun Family’s fortune was flourishing. Yun Ye was even more surrounded by endless purple qi. Even more rare was that this family was truly one where family harmony brought prosperity to all endeavors. In this home, the disturbances she suffered were the least. Now she already felt she couldn’t hold on anymore. Perhaps her life fire was about to extinguish. She suddenly felt a bit reluctant to leave. She liked living in that small courtyard tinkering with her mushrooms. Those mushrooms—she had already successfully cultivated them. What a pity their medicinal efficacy seemed to have decreased considerably.

“Moji, when your illness is cured, give me those six chickens of yours. Such big roosters are definitely very nourishing. Red-braised, they’ll have the most bite. When the time comes, you’ll know after tasting them.”

Tianmoji let out a muffled grunt and had no more response. Yun Ye awkwardly touched his nose and urged Wang Cai to run faster—better to resolve this matter sooner.

Sun Simiao’s medicine cottage now looked even more like a demon cave than Tianmoji’s small courtyard. Several rooms were piled full of bone frames. Wooden shelves were filled with skulls. Several huge glass bottles contained various human organs. To collect these things for Sun Simiao, Huozhu had spent considerable effort.

That fellow Li Dayin seemed addicted to living here. His legs had already healed well, yet he still seemed to have no plans to leave. With his vast supernatural powers, he built a courtyard on the hillside opposite the medicine cottage and lived inside. People were always coming to find him, but these people had never disturbed the medicine cottage.

Sun Simiao now increasingly resembled an immortal. His eyebrows and beard had all turned white. Wearing a hempen cloth Daoist robe, seeing Yun Ye come over, his nose twitched twice, then he turned and entered the medicine cottage. He hadn’t smelled the scent of medicinal materials on Yun Ye. Since he wasn’t here to deliver medicine, there was no need to wait longer.

Li Dayin held a bowl of blackish medicinal juice and smiled happily. Ever since his bones healed, he no longer had to learn that ridiculous official gait like a duck walking. The whole person also looked much more spirited.

“Did you report to the Academy about building a house here? Your limbs are all healed—why haven’t you left yet? What’s the meaning of clinging to Daoist Sun? You’re the Director of Waterways with busy official duties. Disturbing the medicine cottage’s tranquility—your offense is great.” Yun Ye now had psychological shadows about strange people. He couldn’t even finish dealing with the troublesome matters at home. If he had to worry about Sun Simiao’s place too, how could life continue?

“I want to live a few more years, so I must firmly grasp Daoist Sun’s thigh and not let go. As for me building a house, this is the Waterways Ministry’s right. Never mind your Academy—even in the Imperial Palace there are houses of the Waterways Ministry.” After speaking, he drank his medicine while walking back to his own courtyard. He knew Yun Ye didn’t want him to know the purpose of this visit. Better to avoid it.

Sun Simiao placed his hand on Tianmoji’s wrist and felt for a while, then took a small spoon from a large jar marked arsenic and scooped out a spoonful of arsenic. He also put licorice and other medicinal materials in the bowl as companions, placed it in a medicine pot and boiled it for a long time, decanted the medicinal juice, gave Tianmoji a handful of crystal sugar, and said to her: “Drink this bowl of medicine. Come again tomorrow and continue drinking. Drink continuously for three days. After the parasites in your belly are cleaned out, have Yun Ye go find you safflower. Old Cheng’s family has it. What I took last time is used up. Right now your blood and qi are both deficient, and there are evil parasites in your belly. In the future, don’t eat raw meat anymore. What kind of illness is this? A perfectly good person not eating cooked food but eating raw meat—aren’t you afraid of getting sick?”

“Daoist, you say Duke Cheng’s family has safflower? This little woman is indeed sick, not having severed life force?” Tianmoji immediately stood up and urgently asked Sun Simiao.

“You have a heartbeat, you have a pulse—who told you your life force was severed? It’s that you have too many parasites in your belly, causing your blood and qi to both be deficient, many dreams with night sweats. When blood qi isn’t vigorous, naturally body temperature will be too low. In the future, just don’t eat raw meat anymore and you’ll be fine. Safflower plus Chinese angelica is to replenish your depleted blood qi. It’s not a life-saving medicine—it’s a tonic.”

Sun Simiao was impatient to talk much with women. His own business was done, so he went into the inner room and closed the door from inside. Even if Yun Ye wanted to sneak a look, it was impossible.

If it were someone else adding a big spoonful of arsenic to medicine and giving it to you to drink in your presence, probably no one would dare drink it. Someone with a violent temperament might even fight desperately. If the person adding arsenic to your medicine in front of you was Sun Simiao, everyone would drink it without thinking. Tianmoji was like this—she picked up the medicine bowl and downed it in one gulp.

“The clean bucket is in the privy. The parasites expelled need to be sprinkled with lime and buried deeply. Find two old women to support you. Your belly will hurt in a bit.” Sun Simiao’s voice came from the inner room. The voice was very muffled, as if speaking through a layer of cloth. Yun Ye understood—the old man was again tinkering with corpses inside. Right now, he might be dismembering a corpse into eight pieces.

Tianmoji closed her eyes. Her complexion was wax yellow. Sweat beads emerged on the tip of her nose. Even the face-covering veil stuck to it. After drinking arsenic, naturally the belly would hurt. Yun Ye standing beside her could hear the sounds her belly made. Two old women quickly supported Tianmoji and went to the privy.

A long time passed before they returned. One old woman quietly said to Yun Ye: “Madam Moji’s belly was full of parasites.” Yun Ye nodded, looking at Tianmoji who was so weak she was about to faint. He smiled and shook his head. This was the consequence of concealing illness and avoiding doctors. Without understanding anything clearly, she sentenced herself to death. If he were a confused fool and took her to Beiting, that would truly sever her last thread of life force.

Just after returning home, Liu Jinbao who had run to Old Cheng’s family to get safflower came back. The Cheng Family truly had a lot of this stuff. Liu Jinbao shouldered a large sack. Yun Ye reached his hand inside, grabbed a handful, pulled it out to look, and immediately wanted to curse. Just carthamus flowers—what treasure was this? Worth bringing back from the Western Regions?

Wushe saw the old woman supporting Tianmoji into the small courtyard and asked Yun Ye: “How is it?”

“Parasites in the belly. Not the corpse worms you were thinking of. It’s an illness from eating. After eating medicine for two more days, the parasites will be completely cleared out. In the future, as long as she nourishes her body, there’ll be no problem.”

Wushe was stunned. After a long while, he finally nodded and said: “The last time this old man went to sea, he had some understanding. I wonder if this time entering the mountains, will there be gains again?”

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