HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 50: Autumn Colors in the Poisonous Forest

Chapter 50: Autumn Colors in the Poisonous Forest

Wang Cai’s authority had been greatly threatened, which made it almost intolerable. In the past, it was the only four-legged animal that could wander around the academy. Now there were round, rolling, black-and-white things everywhere. Tear Mountain was its favorite convenient spot, but now several monsters were lying on their backs facing the sky there. Gargle Spring was also its favorite place to cool off, but now there were also many monsters drinking water there. How unreasonable! Wang Cai decided to go chase the monsters away and not allow them to compete for its territory.

Yun Ye squeezed into a bear cart with Teacher Li Gang. Although the old teacher was somewhat dissatisfied, he still shifted his body to the left to make some room for him.

“Your old self said such frightening things in the letter that this youngster’s soul nearly flew away in fright. I rushed back home as fast as possible. Only after inquiring and learning that you were in good health did I dare come see you.”

“I’ve endured through the difficult times. I estimate I can hold on for another two years. Little Ye, are you extremely afraid of His Majesty?” Li Gang never spoke nonsense. Opening his eyes, he went straight to the point. He always said he was old and had no time for pleasantries with others. His straightforward way of speaking had already become the norm.

This question made Yun Ye somewhat embarrassed. He didn’t know how to answer.

“When you presented the Great Emperor title to the Emperor and established strict regulations, this old man knew you had given rise to fear. Then when you didn’t oppose marrying off Xiao Ya to Li You, this old man was already certain you were afraid. Tell this old man, what are you afraid of? Can’t bear to part with your bit of wealth and honor, or can’t bear to part with your family?”

“For a man to live fearfully and hesitantly to your degree—what pleasure is there to speak of? A person’s life is like plants and trees in autumn—time passes too quickly, too urgently. Sometimes it doesn’t give you time to think before your whole life has already passed by in a muddle. We are all people with great aspirations. How can we be deficient in matters of great principle?”

“This old man has lived a bit longer and has seen many brilliantly talented people. They clearly could accomplish many great things but were misled by their own temperament. To their deaths, they remained obscure and unknown. The emotion of timidity is a great taboo for doing great things.”

Yun Ye looked at Li Gang with bitterness and said, “This student has too many concerns—concerns for Grandmother, concerns for my wife, concerns for my children, concerns for Wang Cai, and concerns for friends. The burden on my back is too heavy. Sometimes I don’t dare to take too quick steps.”

“The Great Emperor title is ultimately just a big toy. Marrying Xiao Ya to Li You was something this student did after weighing the options. This student also knows that weighing things with my own sister’s happiness is wrong in itself, but I don’t know how to oppose it.”

“Speaking broadly, I want this country to be as stable as possible and not experience major setbacks. Speaking narrowly, it’s that Xiao Ya’s own personality has destined her to have difficulty obtaining happiness in this life. Too few people can tolerate her. The skills that the Heavenly Demoness wholeheartedly taught made her not yearn for the pleasures of romantic love from the very beginning. I’ve tested this several times—Xiao Ya truly doesn’t like excellent men. Haven’t you noticed? Xiao Ya is excessively attached to this student.”

Li Gang closed his eyes and shook his head, saying, “It’s all a mess of rotten accounts. Since you’ve all focused on the skills Xiao Ya learned rather than on Xiao Ya herself, what more does this old man have to say? The Heavenly Demoness is not a good sort. Those miscellaneous learnings of the inner palace most invade people’s minds and wisdom. That Xiao Ya would be poisoned by them was inevitable. Fortunately, this child is naturally kind. Having learned these skills is more than enough for self-protection. Since this is the case, don’t blame this old man for giving the other half of the lowly ones to Xiao Ya. Those people that Princess Lanling controls have already been thoroughly eroded by the Empress.”

“The things Xiao Ya learned following the Heavenly Demoness are inevitably somewhat sinister. Using them too much will reduce her yang lifespan. Have Xiao Ya come serve this old man for a few days. This old man will teach this child how to do things openly and aboveboard.”

That panda dragged the two people to the place with the most abundant sunshine in front of the artificial mountain and stopped. Li Gang had already fallen into a deep sleep. Having said so much had already been a burden for him. Yun Ye lay with him under the sunlight and felt very comfortable.

Wang Cai’s campaign of conquest continued. Just watching it majestically drive several pandas to flee in all directions showed how happy it was now. Its front hoof stepped on the bottom of a panda that ran a bit slower, and that panda scurried even faster. Only when there was no longer a single panda in its line of sight did it comfortably lie on the ground. The sunlight made its back a bit itchy, so it happily rolled on the ground, using the rough ground to scratch its itchy back. It rolled up dust and dirt—a perfectly good red precious horse had turned earth-yellow.

A black mist began circling above the Poisonous Forest, emitting a low rumbling sound. Yun Ye was startled. It wouldn’t do for the killer bees to reproduce to this scale. This was the academy—if those killer bees ran into the academy, it would cause great disaster.

“Worry less. Those killer bees never step beyond the Poisonous Forest. The reason this old man can live until now is by relying on eating killer bee larvae every day to barely survive until now. Huo Zhu can already control these bee swarms. The academy always needs some defensive measures. Using troops and horses is inappropriate, so using these poisonous creatures to achieve deterrent purposes is also good.”

Li Gang was clearly snoring, yet in the blink of an eye he spoke. Who knows why his sleep quality would be poor to such a degree? The wind picked up. Yun Ye covered Li Gang with a blanket and had servants take Li Gang home to rest. He himself decided to go see the Poisonous Forest.

He tugged the rope, and Huo Zhu appeared on the small path. Seeing Yun Ye, he was very happy and invited him into his home. It wasn’t a large courtyard, but some vegetables were planted in it. A huge mat was covered with various dried vegetables being sun-dried. A woman in blue clothes with a handkerchief wrapped around her head, carrying a child wearing a tiger-head cap on her back, was sorting through those dried vegetables on the mat. Seeing Yun Ye enter, she curtsied and then walked into the house. Before long, she brought out a pot of tea, placed it on the stone table, and continued her work.

“What’s this? From your appearance, you don’t plan to enter official service?” Yun Ye glanced at the large cluster of chrysanthemums blooming beautifully under the eastern wall. Could this be Huo Zhu’s self-narration of his state of mind?

“I won’t enter official service. Not to mention it’s meaningless—the mental and physical labor makes it hard to be at ease. I’m living carefree and unrestrained now—why would I put shackles on myself? Ordinary people don’t dare approach the Poisonous Forest, and no one is willing to take it over, so I have to do it myself. I also do some research on the side. After spending a long time with these poisonous creatures, I’ve discovered they can also understand human nature. For example, these bees—as long as I remember to divide the hives every year, they obediently stay in the Poisonous Forest, competing with spiders, scorpions, and such.”

“I heard that people in the southern border have the habit of making venomous insects. I’ve also experimented with some. Now the insect seedlings are already the sixth generation. The most powerful insect is a scorpion that has already turned red and is as big as half my palm.”

Huo Zhu seemed very proud. He raised his index finger and said, “I’ve already started feeding it my fresh blood every day. It’s said to take three years to mature. In a bit over a year, we’ll know if it can become a venomous insect. I’m very much looking forward to it.”

“I heard the Poisonous Forest caught fire once? Was the loss significant?”

“Somewhat. We lost some spiders and scorpions, but the ants and bees didn’t suffer much loss. Chang’an is still too cold and not conducive to the growth of these creatures. The ants are already fading in color, and their temperament isn’t as fierce as the first batch. I estimate in another three to five years they’ll be no different from local ants. I assume it’s the adverse result of crossbreeding.”

Huo Zhu didn’t mention the fate of those arsonists, and Yun Ye didn’t ask. Huo Zhu regarded these poisonous creatures as precious as life itself—those people were probably already dead beyond dead.

After drinking tea for a while, Huo Zhu applied some juice to Yun Ye’s shoes but didn’t do so for himself. He led Yun Ye, pushing open the wicker gate, toward the depths of the Poisonous Forest.

“From now on, people can’t be allowed to walk through the maze at will. That place has already become scorpion territory. Many large scorpions have made their homes there. Even when I enter that area, I’m attacked. The maze now is truly a land of death.”

Yun Ye was no stranger to poisonous creatures, but seeing the dense spider webs on the trees and the black scorpions crawling under the dead leaves, in such a large forest where you couldn’t even hear bird calls—it was deathly silent.

“Right now, the several types of poisonous creatures here have already formed a balance. We don’t need to deliberately feed them. The reason ants can’t reproduce is that most are eaten by scorpions and spiders. When you leave, take some hornet eggs and honey candy—food prepared for the hornets. Those are the striped bees. They’ve also undergone mutation. The honey candy they produce has a fragrant aroma. Teacher Sun says it’s a supreme tonic. Production is too small—only the few old teachers at the academy can use it. Hornet eggs fried in oil—that taste is wonderfully exquisite. Apart from Teacher Lishi occasionally wanting a few centipedes to go with wine, the teachers don’t eat scorpions and spiders. Only Teacher Sun and I eat some. Would you like to try?” Huo Zhu made great efforts to recommend his new dishes to Yun Ye, hoping Yun Ye would also eat scorpions and spiders. That way the academy teachers wouldn’t look at him too strangely.

“Scorpions fried in oil I can still enjoy. Spiders I’ll pass on—they’re too furry and affect the appetite. But I know spider flavor is also quite good. Give me more bee pupae and honey candy. There are elderly people around me—I’ll distribute it to them. From now on, make it a system. Mark out portions for each person—don’t give to others.”

The strangest thing to Yun Ye was that those scorpions and spiders would avoid Huo Zhu when they saw him. He had medicine applied to his feet, yet there were still two short-sighted scorpions blocking the way ahead, waving their large pincers. Dog butchers never fear dogs—even the most vicious dogs would be obedient when meeting them. Perhaps Huo Zhu’s situation was similar.

It was deep autumn after all. When the wind blew, the leaves on the trees fell rustling down. Huo Zhu drove away the poisonous creatures occupying the pavilion. Inside the stone house was placed an entire row of iron cabinets. Yun Ye opened one of them and carefully inspected the things he had placed here. Every time he did this, Huo Zhu would exit the house, leaving the space to Yun Ye alone.

The least valuable were the three jade plaques from Bai Yujing. The most valuable was the cell phone wrapped in velvet. Looking at the battery that had been removed and placed beside it, he didn’t know if it could still work. Yun Ye didn’t rush to try. Every time this thing was turned on, he would suffer one more time. If possible, just let it disappear in the long river of time.

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