HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 52: Live Experiments (Part Three)

Chapter 52: Live Experiments (Part Three)

“After Daoist Sun and the six of them enter, seal the cave entrance with the dragon-breaking stone. Don’t open it before two months’ time, no matter what. The skylight is the entry and exit point for food and water—send it in with a windlass. The windlass must be soaked in strong liquor daily. Operators must be fully covered, wearing masks over mouth and nose. Burn them after one use. The fewer people who make contact, the better. If under such protective conditions any of you still fall ill, you know what to do. Afterward, I’ll set fire to burn this mountain forest.”

Yun Ye spoke the world’s most merciless words indifferently to the officer behind him, yet the pain in his heart crashed against his reason like tidal waves. The conditions were too crude, too many uncertain factors. Even in later generations, protective conditions that could be called impossibly tight still had accidents occur. Now hastily doing these things was too dangerous. Besides using human lives to fill the gaps, there was no other way.

“Marquis Yun, the brothers all know this military duty is extremely dangerous. We don’t know where the danger comes from, but seeing Daoist Sun enter the cave, this subordinate knows the matter is absolutely not simple. His Majesty gave this subordinate written orders to absolutely obey the Marquis’s commands. What’s being done in the cave, this subordinate doesn’t dare ask. I only want to know—if we die, will it be worth it?” When the White-Eyed General said these words, his pupils seemed to shrink even smaller.

Yun Ye said to him solemnly: “His Majesty originally wanted to send an imperial prince to do what you’re doing now. I refused. An imperial prince might be more reliable than you, but in defensive capability, far inferior to you. Let me tell you—if you die in this mission, it’s greater merit than capturing a banner among ten thousand troops.”

“This subordinate understands. Then how will the Marquis handle himself? Your order just now was not to let a single person leave. If you can’t bring yourself to do it when the time comes, shall this subordinate do it for you?”

For the first time, he discovered this bastard who was always ready to finish him off actually had a mouthful of white teeth that could reflect light in the sun. The matter must be explained clearly—he wouldn’t be infected by smallpox, so he didn’t need to die.

“On this point, you’re rather unlucky and I’m rather fortunate. Due to physical constitution, I’ll be fine. You can’t say the same. So when you commit suicide later, best make it quick. I’m not very good at killing people—at home I can’t even kill a chicken. When I help you commit suicide, I might hack you dozens of times and you still won’t die. Don’t blame me then for imprecise knife skills.” As the two were talking, Sun Simiao led five medicine subjects walking over from the forest, all wearing white linen clothes, not saying a word—quite eerie.

Yun Ye stepped forward wanting to say something more to the old Daoist. Sun Simiao smilingly stopped him, pulling his hand and saying: “You needn’t persuade me further, nor say foolish words about replacing me. That you have immunity to this disease, I believe. In fact, I believe everything you say. Before there were doubts, but these years have verified your correctness one by one. This experiment is too important. This old Daoist doesn’t want to entrust it to others. You won’t do either. I come from the Daoist sect. My teacher was an extremely devout practitioner. If this can succeed, this merit might save the declining Daoist sect. It would also mean I’ve done my part for my faith.”

Patting Yun Ye’s hand, he walked around him toward the cave. There, six identical garments awaited them to wear. These garments would be worn for an entire month…

When Sun Simiao led the five people filing into the cave, a huge stone crashed down with a rumble, sealing the cave entrance tightly. Yun Ye knelt down and solemnly bowed toward the cave entrance. Since coming to this world, he had never so sincerely kowtowed to anyone. He hadn’t even performed the three-kowtow ritual for Li Er.

The White-Eyed General also bowed. No matter where the soldiers were, they also knelt and bowed toward the cave entrance. They didn’t know why they should bow, but seeing the Marquis and General bowing, they followed suit. Anyway, the one who entered was Sun Simiao—bowing once was appropriate. Seeing Immortal Sun was a blessing.

Yun Ye built a wooden house at the cave entrance with no front wall. Looking up, one could see the cave entrance. This month he planned to live here, awaiting Old Sun’s safe return. If there were a qin to play, it could soothe the restless hearts in the cave. Even if there were one, it would be useless—Yun Ye couldn’t play. Counting on the White-Eyed General was like counting on an ox. Fortunately, the mobile phone was taken inside by Old Sun. The “Pure Heart Universal Goodness Mantra” in the phone would give them some comfort. Old Sun knew that pressing one button would produce the most beautiful music. He was extremely shocked but didn’t ask Yun Ye a single question. Yun Ye told him it could only play continuously for three hours—he didn’t know if the battery could still achieve this effect now.

His heart was tormented, yet his face couldn’t show a trace of anxiety. Thus, a strange scene appeared in Yun Ye’s half-room. Marquis Yun was practicing calligraphy, shoulders and back straight, brush strokes like meandering dragons and snakes, gauze curtains fluttering uncertainly. Watching this, those rough soldiers each felt awe—learned people were naturally respected.

After Yun Ye wrote “bastard” four hundred times, he began painting ink wash turtles. A large round shell with a grid pattern on top, sticking out its tongue, trying hard to make the turtle head look more lifelike—should it tilt left or right or raise its head? These all involved learning. Do turtles have tongues? Can’t remember—paint one anyway. Paint more and time passes faster. Two mung bean eyes, a wide mouth, four legs, one small tail.

A lifelike turtle appeared on the paper, except the tongue was an eyesore. Looking up at the setting sun in the sky, very satisfied with the time consumed painting turtles. Now deciding to color the turtle—after coloring, the sky would be dark.

Li Er sent eight multi-ox crossbows—five facing outward, three inward. The White-Eyed General seemed not to need rest. Whenever Yun Ye opened his eyes, he could always see him patrolling the perimeter. Sometimes catching a poisonous snake in the grass to skin and eat, sometimes raiding eagle nests in treetops. Yun Ye had said not even to let mice pass—not a single mouse was permitted in the cave. Everywhere was grain laced with poison, poison provided by Sun Simiao, said to seal the throat upon contact with blood.

No matter who painted turtles day and night would eventually develop a certain level of skill. Lishi had said that in worldly matters, only the word “single-minded” mattered. To escape his mental torment, Yun Ye put all his spirit into his paintings, using the painting techniques Lishi taught to paint turtles. In the Great Tang, “turtle” wasn’t a curse word. Yun Ye had encountered many people with “turtle” in their names—Wang Guishou, Li Guinan, Han Gui, countless others. The logistics officer, seeing the Marquis so immersed in turtles, greatly admired him. When delivering supplies, he specially sent a basin of turtles of all sizes.

At the pinnacle of Yun Ye’s turtle-painting career, a flag rose from the cave’s air vent. At this moment, Yun Ye’s five fingers held three brushes between them. The turtle on paper just lacked the eye-dotting. Seeing the flag rise, the brushes slipped from between his fingers and fell on the paper, adding three different-colored eyes to the turtle.

Willow branch water, lime water, and alcohol were already prepared. Fierce fire oil was spread all over the cave entrance. Catapults were loaded with oil jars. Eight oxen dragged the giant stone blocking the entrance outward. Yun Ye stood outside the lime circle, hands pressed together in prayer, beseeching heaven not to let someone like Sun Simiao perish here. Historically, the old man lived past a hundred, but he hadn’t encountered smallpox.

Heaven was still efficacious, quite obliging. Sun Simiao walked naked from the cave, holding a dried pig’s bladder in his hand, the opening tied tightly. Behind him followed five naked big men. Each was healthy, just having not seen sunlight for so long, they closed their eyes, expressions joyful.

From this moment on, they were no longer death row prisoners but free men. In the twilight, Sun Simiao stepped into the willow branch water, fully immersed, even burying his head. The other five had long been accustomed to learning from Sun Simiao and also stepped into the willow branch water, following suit.

Yun Ye tremblingly pulled over the White-Eyed General, stuffed the turtle painting into his hands, and said excitedly: “Success! Send this to His Majesty, send it overnight. Don’t delay a moment.”

Though the White-Eyed General didn’t know what had succeeded, he still ordered the turtle painting wrapped properly and transmitted by windlass to the opposite cliff face, where another team of soldiers waited. Vaguely several agile figures could be seen taking the cloth package before swiftly vanishing into the darkness.

Sun Simiao soaked in the willow branch water for the duration of one incense stick, then entered the lime water to continue soaking. Lime water soaking wasn’t so comfortable, yet the old Daoist still smiled—this bit of pain was nothing to him. The five big men also jumped into the pool, laughing and joking, not minding the lime water’s irritation at all.

Seeing everyone had soaked sufficiently, Sun Simiao emerged from the lime water and jumped into a clear water pool. Beside the pool in numbered bamboo baskets were clothes, hand towels, and large bars of soap. The white, naked big men laughingly jumped into the pool, retrieving towels and soap from their corresponding numbered baskets to thoroughly wash themselves.

Just as they jumped into the pool, the White-Eyed General gave an order. The catapults accurately threw oil jars into the cave, then thick arrows from the multi-ox crossbows carrying trails of fire drilled into the cave.

Immediately flames roared in the cave. Dark red flames sprang from the cave entrance. At the ventilation hole, flames reached a full three zhang high. The ground in front of the cave was also ignited—not an inch of dead angle was spared.

After washing, Sun Simiao pillowed his head on a towel, took out a gourd from a bamboo basket, and drank beautifully—fragrance overflowing. Others seeing this good thing also rummaged through their baskets. Sure enough, one gourd per person. Each held his gourd and drank heartily. The emotion of escaping death made two more fragile ones cry.

Sun Simiao softly comforted them, telling them if they had livelihood problems, he’d find them work at the academy. He also told them this attempt succeeded—not only were their death sentences gone, but His Majesty would bestow generous rewards. This made the big men wild with joy. If they’d known of this good thing, they should have killed someone and gone to prison long ago.

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