When living in this world, one must persist in walking one’s own path. If at eighteen you decide to be a good person, then be a good person for life—you’ll eventually receive good karma. If you decide to be a scoundrel, then walk that dark path to the end. Both good people turning bad and bad people turning good will equally be looked down upon by others.
We often say that a prodigal son returning is worth more than gold, or that laying down the butcher’s knife means instant enlightenment. The problem is—who would believe you’ve become a good person? It’s much easier to believe a good person has turned bad, because we live in an era that doesn’t hesitate to speculate about others’ motives with the most malicious thoughts. In this era, law is the standard for measuring everything.
Yun Ye still wasn’t accustomed to the Great Tang environment. Having come to the Great Tang for over ten years, he remained an outsider, still following that rule from later generations: as long as one doesn’t violate Tang law, one is a good person. Now it seemed this wouldn’t work.
The Yun family’s good reputation was created by Grandmother Yun, Xinyue, and Xiao Ya and the others. Yun Ye himself was just a wastrel, a scoundrel who worshipped profit. All of Chang’an saw him this way.
The saying goes: those who understand me think my heart troubled; those who don’t understand me wonder what I seek. Only a sage could possess such a mindset. Later generations also had the warning: “Walk your own path and let others talk.” But in reality, one cannot achieve this! Even Feng Ang, someone completely unrelated to him, could righteously point at his nose and curse him thoroughly—not because he was so noble, but because he held the moral high ground. Yun Ye could only listen. There was only one way to fight back: continue being a petty person. You curse me, I retaliate against you. No explanations, no forgiveness. Perhaps only baseness can undermine the foundation of righteousness.
Feng Zhi Dai very much wanted to talk with Yun Ye. Cooperation between great families couldn’t be damaged by personal grudges. He thought Yun Ye thought the same as him. Who knew Yun Ye was such an emotional person, actually using personal emotions to drive the behavior of his entire family.
“Zhi Dai, taking the Feng family people out to sea is fine, no problem. How much they can learn depends on their ability. This marquis has no interest in teaching others, but I also won’t prevent others from teaching your Feng family’s young men. You’ve ruined my entire mood for enjoyment—I only want to immediately go to sea to kill and plunder. Your father has already defined my nature, so I’ll just follow that nature and walk on, seeing how far I can get.”
After speaking, Yun Ye carried Li Rong back to the tent to rest. Tomorrow they had to rush back. No matter how Yun Ye and Li Tai wanted to go to Guilin Commandery, Feng Ang insisted the main force must rush back to Yongzhou to hear what the imperial envoy had to say.
Li Tai was somewhat avoiding Yun Ye. He felt his words might have hurt Yun Ye, and he’d been used by Feng Ang—very embarrassed to face his friend. Out of the Li family’s consistent pride, these words had to be said. If Yun Ye previously counted as his teacher, then now he was truly a friend. If a friend has flaws and you don’t point them out, can you still call yourself a friend?
The one who broke the awkward situation was Li Rong. Li Rong asked Grandpa Wu She to shoot him a beautiful long-tailed pheasant. He wanted to use the most beautiful feathers to make a feather fan for his mother. For this purpose, he’d already collected many beautiful feathers.
Father was writing letters and naturally couldn’t help. Liu Jinbao was a clumsy oaf who couldn’t do delicate work—Father said so. The only suitable person at hand was Uncle Qing Que. For his nephew’s request, Li Tai gladly agreed. The two squatted by the small stream carefully plucking feathers. If they weren’t careful and broke the feathers, there’d be no way to make a feather fan.
After Yun Ye finished writing his letters, he instructed his household generals to send them to the postal station in Liuzhou. They would deliver these letters to different recipients. His departure was too sudden—he had to give everyone an explanation.
“Qing Que, pluck the feathers clean. In a bit, coat it with mud and roast it well, then have the child deliver it to Master Wu She. Since we asked the master to take action, the proper etiquette cannot be lacking. His father may lack manners, but the child cannot walk the same path.”
Yun Ye came to the stream’s edge and squatted before the two of them, watching them pluck feathers. Seeing that the pheasant was very plump, he thought to make this chicken into beggar’s chicken and send it to the old man to accompany his wine.
“No problem. At the academy I didn’t learn much else, but I did plenty of stealing chickens to make beggar’s chicken. The tenant farmers’ chickens were hard to get, so I stole all yours. Leave it to me—the taste definitely won’t be bad.”
Li Rong also liked eating beggar’s chicken. Hearing Father and Uncle discussing how to make it, he also very much wanted to eat some. But today there was only one chicken, and Father said it had to be sent to Grandpa Wu She. He could only suppress his craving and agree to deliver it when the time came.
“Ye’zi, I spoke too harshly today. Don’t take it to heart. I’ll only say these words this once and won’t say them again. To be schemed against by others in these desolate mountains—truly frustrating.”
Yun Ye sent Li Rong to the tent to get lotus leaves for wrapping things. Seeing the child walk far away, only then did he say: “What you said wasn’t wrong. My perspective is too small. You’re not the only one to say this. Old Master Yan Zhitui, Master Li Gang, including your father the Emperor have all said it. Master Liu Fang even showed some disappointment in me. But Qing Que, I don’t plan to correct it.”
“Everyone’s heart harbors a devil. Those with great hearts have great ambitions, but this devil’s capabilities are also great. I know what I want. As long as the ambitions in my heart can let the Yun family live peacefully and happily, that’s very good. Any larger would bring them threats. Without them, no matter how great my ambitions, I wouldn’t be happy. So there’s no need to change, no necessity to change. After changing back and forth, would I still be Yun Ye, Yun Buqi?”
Li Tai froze, stopped plucking chicken feathers, and looked at Yun Ye strangely, saying: “I’m suppressing my own desires, and you’re suppressing yours too. It seems we’re actually on the same side. Are you worried that staying in Chang’an you won’t be able to resist taking action?”
Yun Ye took the chicken and continued plucking feathers, his mouth not stopping: “Let me tell you, Chengqian is no match for your father the Emperor no matter what. Even adding me won’t work. Unless we could strike fatally at your father the Emperor—this is something I absolutely cannot do. I absolutely cannot do something like stabbing His Majesty with a blade. Chengqian can’t do it either, so Chengqian is destined to fail.”
“What kind of punishment do you think my elder brother will suffer after failing?” Li Tai looked at Yun Ye with interest.
“It depends on your attitude—that’s certain. Even if His Majesty doesn’t punish Chengqian, how can Chengqian continue to sit in the Crown Prince position? The officials definitely won’t tolerate Chengqian, because these fence-sitters will definitely all stand on His Majesty’s side, including your uncle too. No matter how they support Chengqian now, at the critical moment they’ll all turn against him.”
“After doing things that wrong Chengqian, they’ll feel guilty. Haha, Qing Que, do you know—after someone wrongs another person, they actually most hope that person who makes them feel guilty will die? That way they’ll be freed. At least that’s what they think. I most fear when people say ‘I’m sorry’ to me. Once they say those three words, it means this guy is prepared to continue wronging you.”
“So, Qing Que, you and I are Chengqian’s last lifeline. Do you know how delighted I was that you could come to Lingnan? At least three years from now I won’t be fighting those bastards to the death alone.”
“How are you so certain I won’t run back to participate in the struggle for the throne? Maybe I want to be emperor too. What would you do then?” Li Tai stretched out his neck to watch Yun Ye’s reaction.
“If life were only as first we met, why should the autumn wind grieve the painted fan? Casually it changes, yet people’s hearts, but people say hearts easily change. Qing Que, I dare not be certain. The human heart is the most difficult thing to fathom. Why do you think I fled with my whole family? Is a fool like Feng Ang qualified to probe my thoughts? If you enter the fray, I’ll immediately disappear with my whole family. Han Zhe is the final escape route I’ve prepared. If I can’t be human, I’ll go be a god.”
“How are you still this way? Can’t you say that in a dilemma, you’d finally face Chang’an and commit suicide by sword? Such passionate and stirring behavior would be worthy of our friendship. Such righteous and heroic actions should be passed down through the ages to be worthy of our brotherhood. You truly disappoint me too much.”
“Are you stupid or am I stupid? Cutting your neck with a sword doesn’t hurt? The Orphan of Zhao is just a legend. Do you think the foolish behavior of people in that story would appear in me? Face Chang’an and commit suicide by sword—too stupid!”
“Everyone feels their blood boil at their actions. Everyone sheds tears reading about ancient worthies’ righteousness and heroism. How can you have not even a bit of a gentleman’s integrity?”
“Qing Que, are you certain that when you read that story, the words ‘fools’ didn’t float up from the bottom of your heart? When I read that story, I found those two words written in the gaps between every character. So don’t have expectations of me that are too high. I’ve always felt that after you all are finished, I’ll wipe away my tears and continue living strongly—that phrase suits me.”
Li Tai snatched the chicken in one motion and frantically plucked off the remaining feathers. Pointing the chicken at Yun Ye, he said with tragic indignation: “Looking through the history books, major events always have a few martyrs. Because of their existence, the glorious annals, though only a few light pages, weigh more than a thousand pounds. You damned fake literatus, fake gentleman—I’m ashamed to associate with you.”
“Come off it. You think the same way—don’t think I don’t know. Going crazy when someone speaks to what’s in your heart—every single one of you Li family people is like this. Your mother is the same. I’ve suffered so many losses, I should also live some good days—naturally after you all perish together. Think about it—me standing on a mountain peak with sorrow on my face, holding a pot of good wine and a few dishes of snacks, paying respects to distant deceased friends. Tsk tsk, tsk—in such a state of mind, in such a tragic atmosphere, I could definitely compose a few good poems.”
Li Rong brought the lotus leaves and seasonings, carefully learning from his uncle how to make a good beggar’s chicken. Li Tai was indeed practiced at it—sprinkling seasonings, spreading seasonings, his movements skilled. Yun Ye was quite certain this guy had stolen plenty of chickens from his family.
Sitting by the campfire listening to ape cries and wolf howls, wild interest arose spontaneously. A pot of wine went around in a circle and was gone. Of course, after Li Rong held the roasted chicken and fully expressed his respect to Old Master Wu She, he gleefully brought the chicken back. After giving some insignificant parts as filial devotion to the elders, he happily ate the two chicken legs himself.