HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 54: Entertainment

Chapter 54: Entertainment

The Ministry of War remained shrouded under Yun Ye’s powerful aura for over half a month. Only as the year’s end approached did it gradually return to normal. This time, the Ministry of War procured massive quantities of supplies from Dengzhou, Mingzhou, Yuezhou, and even Guangzhou, preparing to distribute them.

This money was all surplus from last year. Yun Ye had no intention of keeping it but planned to distribute it all at once. From his experiences in the later era, he knew that even if the government issued a bundle of scallions, it would absolutely be a hundred times more glorious than buying them yourself at the market.

Duan Hu was very dissatisfied, believing this was wasting state funds and couldn’t be done this way. He remonstrated with Yun Ye many times but got no response. When preparing to submit a memorial to the Emperor, he saw the clerks looking at him with hatred and suddenly realized he had become isolated in the Ministry of War. Duan Hu didn’t care about becoming isolated—their Duan family prided themselves on being lone ministers. He had just finished writing his memorial and hadn’t yet reached the Secretariat when he was intercepted at the Chancellery by Chu Suiliang. The Chief Administrator of the Chancellery, Zhangsun Wuji, generally didn’t manage such matters. All practical affairs were handled by Chu Suiliang. This big shot who came from the Secretariat had now formed an alliance of interests with the Zhangsun family.

“When Heaven wishes something to perish, it first drives it mad!”

Chu Suiliang wrote this line on prepared paper. After admiring it for a while, he tossed it into the brazier. In his view, Yun Ye had already been driven mad by the previous incident of settling veteran soldiers, and even wanted to demonstrate to the Emperor and express his dissatisfaction by spending all the state funds stored in the Ministry of War. This was already a sign of self-destruction.

Yun Ye was someone who wouldn’t tolerate others’ slander. He had formed the closest relationship with the imperial family. Facts proved that anyone who attacked Yun Ye never came to a good end. Therefore, the only one who could destroy Yun Ye was himself. Chu Suiliang decided to stand on the shore and watch the scenery. Duan Hu’s memorial very likely would make the Emperor stop this matter, thus ruining all subsequent possibilities. This was why Chu Suiliang so easily sent Duan Hu’s memorial into the waste paper pile.

Empress Zhangsun and Li Er, who had gained great advantage, weren’t unaware of what Yun Ye was doing, but the couple coincidentally chose to ignore it. For Yun Ye, as long as it was a matter of money, it basically wasn’t a big deal. Countless examples proved that competing with Yun Ye over money and wealth was idiotic behavior—the one who ultimately couldn’t step down would only be oneself. He was Minister of War. When the Ministry of War lacked money next year, the one in difficulty would be him, not the Emperor himself. Since the Ministry of War had so much money and grain that it could find benefits for subordinates, what the Emperor could do was reduce next year’s budget for the Ministry of War by ten or twenty percent. This was an even bigger savings. Empress Zhangsun had long calculated this account.

The gifts from the Ministry of War were very abundant—salted fish, kelp, seaweed, sea cucumber, octopus, and large shrimp from the East Sea. There was also hairtail from Mingzhou, frozen in ice blocks and transported in grand procession by large ships while the canal hadn’t yet frozen over. As for Guangzhou’s specialties, they made people happy just mentioning them—all dried goods like dried bananas, longan, and so on. What made people happiest was a batch of dried shells transported by ship. Some shells had pearls inside. With good luck, one could extract one or two pearls from inside. This was a delightful surprise. No matter whose family extracted pearls, it was a happy occasion. During the New Year, getting an auspicious omen was quite nice.

Rice from Xiangshui Cliff, monk’s head noodles from Guanzhong—the most outrageous were rouge and powder from Yufu Pavilion, all high-grade goods. Everyone happily dragged a cart home, bringing joy to the whole family, young and old.

Calculating it, it wasn’t even worth a few silver coins. Everything was transported by themselves. Who dared say it was wrong for the navy to transport some things for the Ministry of War? Large merchants discounted their goods by seventy or eighty percent and stuffed them into the official New Year goods pile—the reputation alone was worth the value of those items.

Everyone received a share. From the Minister of War to the tea room water boiler, each person got one portion, regardless of rank. Everything was the same.

Xinyue sorted through the things Yun Ye had brought back, frowning as she said: “You, a堂堂 marquis, worked busily for a year and only brought back this much? Not embarrassing enough.”

Yun Ye wiped his face with a hot towel and said: “Don’t look down on these few items. The clerks picked out the finest products from several shiploads of goods. All the good stuff went to our family. With this kind of thoughtfulness, could you encounter it at the West Market?”

“That’s true. These hairtail are really quite good. You love them most when fried in oil, and Shou’er also likes them. It’s just a pity that foolish child has now gone to the North Sea to herd sheep. Who knows when he’ll be able to return.”

During the New Year, Xinyue thought of her son far away on the horizon. As she spoke, her eyes reddened.

“When a man grows up, you can’t always keep him tied to your waist. It’s time for him to go out on his own. He won’t listen to the principles we tell him, and can’t take them in. Only after falling down himself and getting bruised will he know it hurts.”

Xinyue nodded, then ordered He Lan to take a few hairtail from the cart and send them to the kitchen to be fried, then delivered to the old mistress and aunts, telling them this was the salary the Marquis received for the New Year.

The Ministry of War was going crazy this year. The military training ground was completely closed. The Sixteen Guards plus people from the Lingnan Navy were inside fighting fiercely to the point of being inseparable. Add to that the shouting of women and children—the dust-filled training ground was like a battlefield of slaughter.

The people of Chang’an were extremely curious, but those guards carrying weapons unceremoniously chased away the idle people who tried to peek through holes in the training ground wall, forbidding them to watch while they themselves lay at the holes enviously watching the activity inside.

Li Jing and Li Ji, Old Cheng, Old Niu, as well as the old commanders of the Sixteen Guards sat on the reviewing platform. They had no mind to consume the tea, grape wine, snacks, and fruits on the table. Pointing and gesturing at the crowds rushing about in the field, some smiled joyfully, some cursed loudly. Yuchi Gong’s table already had nothing left—he had used everything to throw at people.

Carefully selected strong men couldn’t outrun a skinny monkey. A man with the strength of a thousand couldn’t jump over the low horizontal bar in front of him. How humiliating! There was even someone who tore his crotch while high jumping. That bastard wasn’t even wearing underwear—a dark lump just swinging back and forth there. Having returned from Luoyang to become the Great Commander of the Right Martial Guard, not one of these little bastards brought him honor.

“Brother Yaoshi, I wonder which expert came up with this proposition of faster, higher, stronger?”

Li Jing had a longan in his mouth and held a telescope in his hand, watching intently. Hearing Li Ji say this, he gestured toward Yun Ye with his mouth: “That boy came up with it. It’s said this is to improve the soldiers’ physical fitness and is also a conventional training method during peacetime.”

The people under Old Cheng were personally selected by Yun Ye, all very targeted—those who ran fast participated in running, those who jumped high participated in high jump, those accurate with arrows participated in archery, those with great strength competed in lifting stone locks, those with fine horses participated in equestrian competitions, those with agile bodies competed in pole climbing. Unlike the people Yuchi Gong selected, who were uniformly all burly strong men. The competition had just begun and already more than half had been eliminated.

However, the competition was indeed exciting to watch. Within the military, the competitive spirit was already strong—everyone considered themselves first and others idiots. Running ten li around the training ground in full armor wasn’t something everyone could handle. Those people from the Left Martial Guard who had followed Yun Ye to the desert were still most adapted to this running method. With locks on their bodies, once fastened, the whole person became one with the equipment. When others were running around clanging chaotically, they were already quietly following behind. After seven or eight laps, those people had already abandoned their helmets and armor, while they still ran circles with orderly military appearance, drawing hoarse screaming from the wives and children on the outer perimeter.

“This is what we should be doing in peacetime. This is much better than listening to those decadent sounds.” Liu Hongji’s words had barely fallen when he was cursed back by a group of rough men. Even a lecher dared say such things. Liu Zhengwu, who was attending his father from behind, wished he could stuff his head in his pants.

Liu Hongji, however, cursed back at them one by one nonchalantly. Seeing his son not helping him, he even planned to slap his son.

“Shut up, Old Liu. The boy is much more promising than you. Although he lost an arm on the battlefield, this doesn’t count as anything. The boy risked his life to bring you honor, and you still have the heart to beat him?”

Seeing Old Niu speak up, Liu Hongji chuckled and changed his palm into a grab, patted his son’s head, and began boasting to others about his son’s exploits in Beiting.

Li Jing put down the telescope in his hand and pointed to the field, saying: “We should go down and take a look. The main event is coming. This is the real contest of strength.”

When Li Jing went down to the field, the others also followed. Only one hundred strong men from the Thousand Bull Guard and one hundred strong men from the Right Martial Guard remained in the field. On the ground lay a rope as thick as an arm, with a red silk ribbon tied in the middle. The two hundred strong men were in high spirits. The commandants on both sides loudly cheered on their own subordinates, determined to win this round.

Seeing countless veteran generals and famous commanders specially coming to watch them, the strong men participating in the tug-of-war competition were so excited they trembled all over. Li Jing made a fist and struck down the line, thumping each strong man’s chest once. Turning back to the old commanders, he said: “They truly are all bear-like warriors. This battle between dragons and tigers is interesting. This old man will raise the stakes. Whichever team wins can take this to exchange for wine.”

As Li Jing spoke, he unfastened a moist green jade plaque from his waist and hung it on the red silk ribbon as a reward.

“Hehe.” Yuchi Gong laughed. He took off helmets from two soldiers’ heads, tossed two money notes into the right-hand helmet, and said loudly: “This old man opens the house, betting on the Right Martial Guard to win. Who dares bet against me?”

Old Niu, the Great Commander of the Thousand Bull Guard, stepped forward. He glanced at Yuchi Gong’s money notes and said contemptuously: “Two hundred gold coins? That’s too stingy. This old man bets on the Thousand Bull Guard to win—five hundred silver coins. No need for money notes—having this word is enough.”

“The Right Martial Guard side is somewhat weaker. This junior adds five hundred gold coins!”

Yun Ye had just finished his work. Seeing a gambling game had started, he immediately joined in. The Right Martial Guard had been unlucky all day, but in terms of strength, Yun Ye favored Yuchi’s side.

Where there were those opening bets, there were those taking bets. In a short while, both helmets were filled with money notes and valuable items.

Both sides prepared their hands. Li Jing watched the red silk ribbon just align with the white line on the ground. At the sound of a whistle, the arm-thick hemp rope began creaking and was pulled taut and straight.

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