After Gao Yang and Lan Ling finished eating dinner with the Empress, they were sent back to the academy by carriage. Lan Ling leaned against the window watching the light snow outside and said to Gao Yang: “Do you think this method will work?”

Gao Yang kept her head down arranging those bamboo shoots, turning a deaf ear to Lan Ling’s words. She had already been betrothed to Fang Yi’ai. At the time she had been quite dissatisfied, but now looking at it, how fortunate it was! Fang Yi’ai had a full set of martial skills. Although among the noble youth he wasn’t considered the best—when encountering Cheng Chumo and the others he would still be thoroughly defeated—compared to the husbands of other sisters, he could already be considered first-rate.

“I know it won’t work. Your Majesty is so clever, she’ll definitely see through my little tricks. Now the Tubo people are continuously lobbying those officials, wanting them to agree to a marriage alliance. Right now I’m the most suitable age. Elder sister, I don’t want to go to Tubo. The teacher said that place basically doesn’t have summer at all—there are only three seasons in a year, and the days covered in heavy snow last a full half year. What’s more, when we Tang people go up to the Tubo plateau, we can’t live long. Elder sister, please help me.”

Lan Ling’s little face turned deathly pale. Set against the swirling white snow outside the window, she appeared especially delicate and fragile. Since ancient times, women sent for marriage alliances never had good endings. The Han dynasty’s four hundred and six years of rule—who knew how much blood and tears it was stained with from imperial noblewomen.

Wang Zhaojun’s journey beyond the frontier with her song “Wild Geese Landing on Level Sand” broke people’s hearts. Cai Wenji’s “Eighteen Songs of a Nomad Flute” tore at people’s livers. Lan Ling only wanted to hide in the Great Tang selling her milk candy—she didn’t want to go to the snow-covered plateau to become a Tubo king’s consort. She had finally come up with this method of being vulgar, but now looking at it, the effect was poor.

Gao Yang didn’t dare give her random advice. At this time, Lan Ling would grasp even a drowning straw with a death grip. They had secretly looked at those Tubo people and been scared out of their wits. Their faces were smeared with light yellow mud—they couldn’t be sure what exactly it was. When the wind blew over, the rank, mutton-like smell could make one hold their breath. In the heat of summer they wore sheepskin robes, with lice strolling in and out. One of the warriors had caught a fat one, and without thinking threw it in his mouth…

Tubo people generally only bathed twice—once at birth, once at death. Thinking of the teacher’s descriptions of world geography and customs, Lan Ling believed that if she went to Tubo, she absolutely had no possibility of living past ten days.

Gao Yang thought hard. She discovered that except for eldest sister, it seemed all the other sisters’ marriages had been arranged by Father Emperor. Eldest sister’s was too, and that person was said to be as disgusting as the Tubo people, but very quickly that local king died, and eldest sister ultimately became the master of that land. If Lan Ling wanted to escape this fate, unless he intervened.

After hesitating for quite a while, she finally whispered her idea in Lan Ling’s ear. Lan Ling’s ashen face finally recovered a bit of color. Her small fists clenched tightly—how had she forgotten? Eldest brother-in-law was her last hope.

After entering the courtyard, the female steward dropped the door bolt. Lan Ling went directly back to her dormitory, where she saw Yun Ya, Xiao Wu, and Zhangsun Lan sitting on the lower bunk wrapped in quilts playing cards. Seeing Lan Ling return, Yun Ya said: “I sacrificed my reputation to help you—I don’t know if it had any effect. Anyway, I don’t plan to marry, so whether I have a reputation or not is all the same. Why is your imperial family so troublesome? If it were my brother, he wouldn’t bear to marry us off to those stinky people.”

“Stinky people are plotting against little Mu. My brother these past days has been constantly making trouble for the Tubo people. I heard several Tubo people’s legs have already been broken.”

Xiao Wu pushed Yun Ya and said: “It’s different. Master stands on his own family’s position to consider problems. His Majesty needs to stand on the position of the realm to consider. The Tubo people rarely show goodwill toward the Great Tang—this is indeed a good opportunity for both families to establish good relations. What’s more, if in the future the Great Tang princess’s son can inherit the Tubo throne, wouldn’t they be friendly generation after generation? Marrying off one princess is very cost-effective. If this princess is clever enough and has the Great Tang backing her, perhaps she’ll quickly hold great power. Of course, she’d need to first get rid of her husband and that Ludongzan.”

Zhangsun Lan, Yun Ya, Lan Ling, including Gao Yang who had just entered, all listened dumbstruck. Seeing that several people had all become stupid, Xiao Wu put down the cards in her hand and said: “The Tubo people don’t want to marry a princess—they want the princess’s dowry. The Great Tang also doesn’t want to marry off a princess—it wants Tubo submission. Anyway, to both the Great Tang and Tubo, the princess doesn’t matter. Even if they sent a male pig, as long as the dowry satisfied the Tubo people, they would happily welcome it.”

“Lan Ling, you’ve overestimated your own importance. You’re not that important. Before the realm and state, anyone is insignificant. However, in my view, who would be most suitable? That vixen in the next room would be most suitable.”

“She has the face, has the figure, and is the daughter of merchants. Just find any prince to take her as an adopted daughter, give her a princess title, and marry her off—problem solved. This vixen might just turn Tubo upside down. She has schemes and means, plus she’s beautiful. Those turtle eggs in Tubo would be so happy they’d faint.”

Zhangsun Lan said in a trembling voice: “Xiao Wu, you mustn’t harm Pang Shir. She’s so delicate—going to the plateau would definitely be a dead end for her. We can’t do this.”

“Pang Shir is your friend, Lan Ling is your cousin. Think about it. Either way someone dies—Pang Shir dies or Lan Ling dies. Zhangsun Lan, think clearly. There’s no having the best of both worlds in this world. Lan Ling doesn’t want to go—that’s certain. How do you know whether Pang Shir is willing to go or not? Perhaps her family is precisely looking to open Tubo trade routes and worrying about finding connections. Now with such a good opportunity, perhaps they’d求之不得.”

Zhangsun Lan hemmed and hawed for a long time, then suddenly said: “I don’t want to choose right now. Wu Mei, you’re thinking too simply. Perhaps the Tubo people will disdain a merchant’s status as too low and want someone of high status. Below princesses here would be you and Yun Ya. Why don’t you choose between yourself and Yun Ya? Why must I choose between Shir and Lan Ling?”

Xiao Wu habitually took out her folding fan and played with it in a circle, using the fan handle to lift Zhangsun Lan’s pretty face, smiling as she said: “Oh my, I didn’t see this coming. Usually like a stuffed gourd, today Zhangsun Lan has a sharp tongue and quick mouth. Well said! If it were me and Xiao Ya, guess what would happen?”

Zhangsun Lan shook her head, Lan Ling also shook her head. Only Yun Ya smiled foolishly without a care.

“I guarantee the Tubo people definitely couldn’t marry us, because my master wouldn’t agree. If my master doesn’t agree, the Tubo people will be in big trouble. You know, over three hundred Tubo people mysteriously died. I dare say, if the Tubo people dare to want us, even more will definitely die. Even if Xiao Ya and I went to the plateau, chances are that Tubo king would already be dead, and we’d go directly to become queen, holding great power—not bad either.”

“Idiots!” Gao Yang cursed once, then took off her clothes and climbed onto her own bed. There was really nothing to say to these idiots who regarded the world’s heroes as no better than dog shit.

Lan Ling’s face, which had just shown interest, immediately fell. Lowering her head, she also undressed and got into bed, losing interest in talking. Her Father Emperor and Mother Empress were overlords among people. Tubo’s Songtsen Gampo was also said to be an outstanding figure. Ludongzan, who came to the Great Tang this time, was said to have also won unanimous praise from the Great Tang’s sovereign and officials. For herself, a small woman, to try to find loopholes in these people’s hands was too difficult.

Zhangsun Lan felt a bit embarrassed. Her family had many older brothers, and when returning home she could always hear them holding forth, so she had been influenced by this passion. Now having been exposed by Gao Yang in one sentence, she felt very awkward.

Xiao Wu stood up, tapping her head with her fan and saying: “Between idiocy and genius is only one step—do you know who said this? My master said it. He also said that between sparrows and swans there are also commonalities—that is, both must fly. Without verification through practice, you cannot say something is wrong, even if it sounds very ridiculous. Long ago, people thought there was only one way to eat meat—roasting it. Later after pots appeared, people began to know about boiling meat. Previously people thought jumping down from a cliff would definitely result in being smashed to death. As a result, Prince Wei proved that as long as you prepare well and wear a parachute, you definitely won’t die from falling.”

“Gao Yang, you’re only making assumptions. What right do you have to say my idea is idiotic?”

Gao Yang burrowed her body into the quilt, covering her head tightly, refusing to argue with Wu Mei. Because such arguments were definitely what Wu Mei excelled at. The academy had a motto: never launch an attack against someone in their area of greatest expertise. Since her own strength was rationality and Wu Mei’s strengths were madness and risk-taking, arguing with her was irrational.

With no one talking to her, Xiao Wu also felt bored. Seeing Zhangsun Lan stripped down to just a chest wrap, she scared her saying: “Tonight it’s Teacher Hypatia doing room inspections. If you get molested, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Zhangsun Lan rolled a huge eye at Xiao Wu, pulled out the warming stone from inside the quilt, and burrowed in herself. On a snowy day, crawling into a warm quilt was truly the ultimate enjoyment.

Looking through the glass at the large snowflakes falling outside, Xiao Wu felt utterly bored. She wondered whether Mother and eldest sister and little sister far away in Shu were safe. The last letter said eldest sister had married—the man was a petty clerk. Xiao Wu felt deeply that sister deserved better. The eldest daughter of a Duke’s household actually married a petty clerk—it truly disgraced the family. Sister was so beautiful—what a waste. If Mother and sister hadn’t returned to Shu, she herself at the academy should have easily been able to find sister a good husband. Even if they suffered for a few years now, in the future she would definitely have the fate of an imperially appointed noble lady.

The earlier words had stirred up the young girl’s thoughts. Who exactly should I marry? Hou Jie? He’s an idiot without brains. Marrying him—wouldn’t that mean a lifetime of bad luck?

Di Renjie? Too familiar—so familiar there was almost no feeling left. Living a lifetime with him, right now she could already know what it would be like eighty years from now. Too boring.

Xiao Wu’s face suddenly flushed red. She stepped on Xiao Ya on the lower bunk, making her shriek, then climbed onto her own upper bunk. She stripped off her clothes completely and wrapped herself tightly in the quilt, as if the quilt were her shell protecting her from wind and rain.