HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 59: Fool!

Chapter 59: Fool!

Yun Ye habitually went to sit before Old Master Yan’s grave. Now Li Gang’s tomb had been added. Speaking of it, it was amusing—in such a fine season of misty spring rain, people were mostly sentimental, the biggest reason being that there was a damned Qingming Festival stirring things up.

Some words could only be said to the dead, not spoken to the living. After Yun Ye had spoken at length to these two wise dead men, he had spent his Qingming Festival very happily. Because he had not only made offerings to his own ancestors, but also made offerings to Old Master Yan and Li Gang. The former was somewhat wooden, but the latter two made one happy. After finishing serious matters, he could even despise Li Er’s lustfulness here. He had heard that recently he was selecting beautiful women again—who knew if he wanted to use his physiological functions to prove to everyone that he was not old.

To be honest, Li Er really wasn’t too old—just fifty years old this year. (People from Guanzhong didn’t say forty-nine.) Perhaps because important ministers had died one after another, he seemed extremely fearful of his own future. Not only had he excavated a huge mausoleum into the mountainside of Mount Jiuzong, but he also planned to build another hundred false tombs. As a result, under the advice of his ministers, he abandoned this idea. However, he turned around and immediately ordered the selection of beautiful women.

It had been agreed that nothing would be done this year, yet privately he wanted Yun Ye to secretly send the craftsmen excavating the caves to work on his mausoleum. As a result, Yun Ye refused and was then chased out of the palace by the furious Li Er. During the Cold Food Festival, not even smoke and fire were given to the Yun household.

It was impossible to figure out this wise emperor. When he was wise, he was simply a model among emperors. When he was absurd, he was unscrupulous. Consort Xiao was already sixty years old, yet he still wouldn’t leave her alone. He wouldn’t even grant a small request to become a nun at Ganye Temple.

The palace could not be visited now. Although on the surface everything seemed orderly, Yun Ye always felt the atmosphere there was abnormal, so when he could avoid going, he didn’t go. Zhangsun recently also seemed very wrong, always appearing as if she wanted to speak but held back.

However, in the fifth month, the Yun household received many peonies—brilliant purples and reds filling an entire courtyard. They were sent by Li Zhi, said to be an imperial reward. There were many flowers, but even more people delivering them, and they wore helmets and armor, filling the entire courtyard as soon as they arrived.

Who knew how many of these things were now planted at Ganye Temple. The one who loved peonies most was Zhangsun—when she had nothing to do, she would pin a large flower on her head and show off everywhere in the palace. Yun Ye admitted he was somewhat jealous. However, in previous years the peonies were always sent by Chengqian—how had it become Li Zhi this year?

This fellow had already grown into a fine figure of a man these years. He had married a daughter of the Wang family and reportedly was about to have offspring. Since he had come, the Yun household naturally had to entertain him well.

After the two men had exchanged cups for three rounds of drinking, Li Zhi smiled and said: “Brother-in-law still has excellent drinking capacity—little brother is far behind! Now little brother has had small success in Jinyang, but no great progress. Please give me much guidance, brother-in-law.”

With these words, Yun Ye’s heart turned ice-cold. He finally knew what was wrong with the atmosphere in the palace. The problem lay with him. He had never considered this fellow, who appeared very weak in the historical succession struggle, as a problem. How had he not thought that the person who ultimately became Emperor was him?

This fellow was too deceptive.

“I’m currently not in His Majesty’s favor and work as a laborer at the Ministry of War all day by myself. Where do I have time to guide you? I heard you already have many worthy ministers around you. If you use them well, creating great achievements won’t be difficult.”

“Little brother thinks the same. Zhang Jianzi, Shangguan Yi, Lai Ji, Jiang Ke—these people are indeed exceptional choices. But they uniquely lack magnanimity, especially lacking the bearing of a great general like you, brother-in-law.”

Yun Ye’s pupils contracted. He asked Li Zhi word by word: “What exactly do you want to do? I am a general, but I will only ever be His Majesty’s general. When did it become your turn to recruit me?”

Li Zhi was not concerned by Yun Ye’s words. He waved his hand and said: “Brother-in-law having such thoughts is already commendable. I heard you refused my elder brother’s recruitment, is that not so? Are you not worried about repeating Li Jing’s fate?”

Yun Ye felt dizzy in waves. To what extent had this fellow’s power expanded that he would say such arrogant words to his face? According to Li Chengqian’s power, there shouldn’t be anyone who could be his opponent, unless, unless…

“You’ve made a move against your elder brother, haven’t you?” Yun Ye asked with difficulty.

“No. Heaven has unpredictable storms, people have morning and evening misfortunes. Who can say for certain about life and death? Don’t you feel your affairs have been extremely complicated this year?”

By this point, Yun Ye had instead calmed down. He picked up his wine cup, took a sip, and said to Li Zhi: “I have always deeply admired His Majesty, always believing His Majesty could achieve perfection and become a model emperor in the glorious annals of history. The only pity is that His Majesty’s throne came rather ingloriously, with a bit too much bloodshed.”

“You must know this is a very bad beginning. With this beginning, there will be very bad consequences following. These years I have constantly tried through my efforts to maintain the hard-won affection within the imperial family. Unfortunately, at you, it finally ended in failure.”

“When one fails, one must admit failure. So tomorrow I will submit a memorial requesting resignation and return home to be a farmer, only begging Prince Jin to give the Yun family old and young a way to live. Yun Ye would be deeply grateful.”

Li Zhi chuckled and said: “How could brother-in-law, with such great talent, be idle in the wilderness? That would be the Great Tang’s loss.”

Yun Ye smiled and said: “Your ambitions are very great, but right now you don’t have the say. I’m just disappointed in the affection of your imperial family—it’s not that I have no power to fight back. I don’t want to get involved in this mess. Tomorrow I’ll take my whole family to a distant island. I really want to see what capability you have to stop my footsteps.”

“If brother-in-law wants to leave, little brother naturally doesn’t dare to obstruct you, nor would I dare show the slightest disrespect to elder sister. Rong’er will still be a prince, Shou’er will still be Marquis of Lantian. Little brother only wants to confirm—are you really planning to leave alone? Not taking my fourth brother? Not taking Cheng Chumo, Zhangsun Chong, Li Huairen and the others?”

“When did Chongzi and the bad people become your men?” As soon as this question was asked, Yun Ye felt his whole body relax. That stone pressing on his heart was finally removed.

Li Zhi laughed, laughing very happily, clapping his hands and saying: “Brother-in-law is indeed the world’s most intelligent person. From one sentence of mine you can know where the flaw is. Truly formidable. Now do you still have great confidence in my elder brother?”

“Those craftsmen at the firearms workshop died unjustly! Li Zhi, before you acted, did you not think they were subjects of your Great Tang?” When one principle is understood, all principles are understood. If at this point Yun Ye still didn’t know Li Zhi was the mastermind behind the explosion, then all these years of food would have been eaten in vain.

Mentioning this matter, Li Zhi’s expression also darkened somewhat. After a long silence, he said: “How could I not know those people’s value? Without destroying the Weapons Research Institute, I couldn’t remove you from the court. Without removing you, how could I implement my plan? The foreign monk’s immortality plan had already come to nothing because of your appearance. This time, I cannot allow you to sabotage any of my plans again.”

“I couldn’t figure it out at first. Wang Xuance is also a shrewd person—how could he possibly do such a foolish thing? So all this was one link in your grand plan. Tell me one thing—what happened to His Majesty? Please, please don’t tell me His Majesty became this way has something to do with Sizi. If it’s that, I’ll go mad!”

“Brother-in-law, let’s not discuss these matters. Little brother came today actually to make one last effort. Because whether it’s Wang Xuance or Zhang Jianzi, they all strongly hope you can continue leading them to serve the Great Tang, including myself. I have never thought of moving against you, brother-in-law.”

Yun Ye smiled bitterly and said: “Indeed so. You, Li Zhi, don’t yet have the ability to plot such a conspiracy. To be honest, you’re not worthy. Although I also made a little bit of defense, I didn’t expect you would launch so urgently and fiercely. You cannot become the Great Tang’s emperor—absolutely not!”

At this point, Li Zhi became angry instead. Pointing at Yun Ye, he lowered his voice and said hatefully: “I know. Since childhood you’ve looked down on me. Whether I displayed kindness, or cunning, or even wisdom, your attitude toward me has always been consistent—you look down on me. When I was small you treated me as a child. After I grew up, you still treated me as a child. Now, have you seen a child’s power?”

“You’ve made a mistake. The reason I say you cannot become Emperor is not because you’re not smart enough, but because you’re now planning to kill your own father. I estimate if your mother obstructs you, you won’t be soft-handed either, right? Your elder brother’s most vicious thought was just not letting your imperial father achieve immortality. You can even commit patricide—who the hell would dare let you become Emperor? If you became Emperor, would the rest of us have any way to live?”

Li Zhi gave Yun Ye a dry smile, then prepared to leave with his men. Yun Ye said behind him: “If you dare do anything to His Majesty and Her Majesty, then you and everyone in Chang’an need not live.”

“I now control twelve of the Sixteen Guards. You actually dare say in front of me words about killing everyone in Chang’an? Do you think I really don’t dare kill you?” Li Zhi was already grinding his teeth.

“You control twelve guards? You actually don’t believe I can kill everyone in Chang’an?” Yun Ye asked strangely. However, after asking this question, his whole person became very relaxed. He clapped his hands and said: “You don’t need to answer me. You’re the same as when you were small—still a fool. I’m only your brother-in-law, not His Majesty. I have no reason to teach you how to become clever. Hurry and get out of the Yun household. If you want to commit patricide, go commit patricide. If you want to commit matricide, go commit matricide. If you want to overturn all your brothers, go overturn them. The Yun household is closing its doors for seclusion. Leave quickly, lest the stupid air from your body dirty my family’s floor.”

As soon as Yun Ye’s words fell, Xiao Miao, already fully armed, hurled the short spear in his hand at Li Zhi’s feet. A whiskered giant roared and raised his horse lance to knock away the short spear. Just as he prepared to advance in one strike, Li Zhi shouted him to a halt. The large group of men hurriedly departed, leaving only over a thousand men guarding the Yun household.

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