Taohua nodded compliantly and said, “Yes, the wind is a bit strong. Would you like some hot tea?”
“No,” Lu Zhilan glared at her. “Be serious. I’m trying to steal your man, yet you’re so casual with me. Are you looking down on me?”
Blinking, Taohua shook her head. “Not at all. I think you’re great. If I were Shen Zaiye, I would have married you long ago.”
A woman so considerate, devoted, and selfless would be hard to find even with a lantern. Most importantly, although Lu Zhilan often didn’t seem like a good person, she had no intention of harming others. She was pure-hearted at her core, unfortunately, paired with Shen Zaiye, that big bad wolf.
Shocked by her words, Lu Zhilan gave her a strange look. “You don’t need to pity me. I won’t go easy on you either. When Shen Zaiye truly falls in love with me, I’ll throw him into the eighteenth level of hell!”
“Go for it!” Taohua clenched her fist. “Once you throw him in, don’t let him out!”
Lu Zhilan was speechless. She suddenly felt that Shen Zaiye falling for such a woman might be a form of retribution in itself.
Standing up and returning the handkerchief, Lu Zhilan sniffled and glanced at her. “I really will try my best. When he loses his heart to me, don’t cry.”
“Alright,” Taohua nodded, patting her shoulder. “And you stop crying too.”
Pouting, Lu Zhilan let out a light snort and walked away with her chin held high. Taohua stood in the pavilion watching her leave and softly said, “She loved Emperor Mingde deeply.”
“What?” Qing Tai beside her thought she had misheard. Frowning, she said, “Doesn’t she love our lord?”
“Maybe before, but not now,” Taohua sighed, preparing to return to Zhengchun Pavilion with her. “When you love someone for a long time, it easily becomes a habit. What she can’t let go of is just the habit.”
Qing Tai was even more confused. “If she cared that much about Emperor Mingde, why didn’t she follow him in death?”
Follow him in death? Taohua shook her head. Emperor Mingde had died by her hand; how could she have the face to follow him? It was precisely because of this that Taohua felt Lu Zhilan was truly pitiful.
That evening, Shen Zaiye came over, curiously asking her, “What did you two talk about?”
“Nothing much just chatted about clothes and jewelry,” Taohua smiled. “Does my lord like hearing about women’s affairs?”
Was that all they discussed? Shen Zaiye frowned, thinking for a moment before saying, “Zhilan has had it very hard. So I’ll agree to her requests. Don’t take it to heart.”
“I understand,” Taohua nodded. “I think you can be even kinder to her. For the Mid-Autumn Festival, I’ll prepare a flower carriage for you two. You can take Lady Lu sightseeing around the capital, and perhaps lie in the carriage to admire the moon at the end.”
How thoughtful! Shen Zaiye looked at her with a stern face, wondering why this girl was so obedient. He told her not to mind, and she truly didn’t mind. If her capacity was so great, why not bear him twins?
“How will you spend Mid-Autumn?” he asked.
Taohua blinked, thinking seriously before saying, “In past years, I always spent it with my master and Changjue. This year… I’ll just eat some mooncakes with Qingta!”
“Don’t you feel wronged?”
“What’s there to feel wronged about?” Taohua raised an eyebrow. “Two people quietly enjoying themselves is nice too. Don’t worry, my lord.”
Who’s worried about her? Shen Zaiye displeasedly tossed her aside and lay down on the bed, closing his eyes to sleep.
Rubbing her nose, Taohua obediently climbed back, blew out the lamp, and snuggled up to him.
Back in Zhao, she had always looked forward to the Mid-Autumn Festival each year. Her master would always enter the palace then, bringing many delicious mooncakes for her and Changjue. The three of them would gather like a family, chatting happily.
But this year, she was alone in a foreign land, a stranger.
Sighing silently, Taohua buried her head in Shen Zaiye’s arm, deciding to rest well and arrange the mansion’s rewards and Shen Zaiye and Lu Zhilan’s outing tomorrow.
The Mid-Autumn customs were similar in all three countries: eating mooncakes, admiring the moon, hanging lanterns in the streets, and selling flower wreaths. As Shen Zaiye was leaving, he looked back at Jiang Taohua. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”
Taohua shook her head, still traumatized. “You two enjoy yourselves. I’ll await your return at the mansion.”
Snorting lightly, Shen Zaiye took Lu Zhilan and boarded the flower carriage, slowly heading towards the streets.
The carriage was open on all sides and hung with Zhao-style prayer flower strings. Lu Zhilan looked at them and chuckled softly. “The madam has gone to great lengths.”
Shen Zaiye remained silent, looking through the gauze curtains at the bustling crowd in the streets, seemingly lost in thought.
“Do you remember this day three years ago?” Lu Zhilan asked with a meaningful smile. “You told me then that I should get married.”
Nodding, Shen Zaiye said, “I wasn’t wrong. At that age, you were ripe for marriage.”
“Do you remember my answer?”
“I do,” Shen Zaiye looked back at her. “You said you’d marry no one but me, or someone better than me, to make me think of you for a lifetime.”
“I’ve fulfilled that, haven’t I?” Lu Zhilan smiled. “You’ll probably have to think of me for a lifetime.”
“You have,” Shen Zaiye nodded. “But are you happy? Are you content?”
She didn’t have to be dragged into this strife. She could have married a good man and lived a harmonious life, but she stubbornly listened to others and entered the Great Wei palace.
Lu Zhilan was slightly stunned and looked at him sideways. “You didn’t want me to enter the palace?”
“I’ve said this long ago,” Shen Zaiye looked ahead, speaking flatly. “You’re a good woman who deserves a lifetime of peace and happiness. The palace is not your home.”
“But…” But hadn’t Zhanlu encouraged her to enter the palace then? She thought that was his true intention.
“Can’t you think for yourself?” Shen Zaiye frowned. “Given my personality, did you think I would step on women to climb up? Didn’t Xu Yangui remind you then not to trust others’ words, but only mine?”
Lu Zhilan was a bit dazed. She glanced at Zhanlu, who was lowering his head outside the carriage, and stammered, “But he is your confidant, isn’t he?”
“He is indeed my confidant,” Shen Zaiye nodded, his gaze sweeping sharply over Zhanlu. “It’s precisely because I trusted him too much that he dared to be so audacious, listening to Jiao Changliu’s words and falsely conveying my intentions to you, making you enter the palace.”
This misunderstanding had lasted for years. She had been wrongly blaming him all along, not realizing it was like this. Lu Zhilan chuckled softly, murmuring, “I’ve been thinking I was greatly wronged by you, but it turns out I misunderstood.”
At that time, Zhanlu had conveyed a message, saying it was Minister Jiao’s intention for her to enter the palace to assist Shen Zaiye. She had thought that since she couldn’t have his affection anyway, she might as well help him accomplish what he wanted to do. Perhaps he would be grateful to her. Since Zhanlu conveyed the message, it must have contained some of Shen Zaiye’s thoughts.
With this mindset, she married Emperor Mingde. But later, she found that Shen Zaiye’s attitude towards her not only didn’t improve but became even colder. She thought Shen Zaiye was ungrateful and heartless, so her love turned to hate, resenting him until now.
She never expected that she had been wrongly blaming him all along.
Laughing bitterly, Lu Zhilan’s voice was a bit hoarse. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“You had already entered the palace. Telling you this then, wouldn’t it have made you despair?” Shen Zaiye asked.
It would have. If she had heard this truth right after entering the palace, she might have collapsed. Having someone else in her heart while marrying someone she didn’t like was already torturous. Moreover, if this torture gained nothing, she would likely have chosen to end her life.
“How considerate of you,” Lu Zhilan lowered her gaze. “I’ve resented you for two years, and you never explained.”
“It’s not too late to explain now,” Shen Zaiye said. “It’s good that you understand now.”
How magnanimous, Lu Zhilan chuckled softly. “It seems I truly never had a place in your heart, so you can be so open-minded. What if it were Jiang Taohua? Would you bear to let her resent you for two years?”
His heart skipped a beat, and Shen Zaiye frowned displeasedly. “We’re reminiscing. Why bring her up?”
“You probably wouldn’t even let her enter the palace, would you?” Lu Zhilan glanced at him. “If she married someone else, could you still be this calm?”
“Zhilan,” Shen Zaiye said calmly. “If I had known immediately that they told you such things, that they sent you into the palace, I would have tried my best to stop it. Not for any other reason, but because we were acquainted.”
The problem was that he had been busy outside the capital at that time and had no idea what these people had done.
Lu Zhilan’s eyes brightened slightly, and she smiled. “I forgive you.”
Even if he could never accept her, he still considered her a friend. After years of resentment and infatuation, now that the misunderstanding was cleared, it was time to let herself go.
Someone once said that liking a person is like lifting a huge tripod. It takes great effort to lift it, and it also takes great effort to put it down. But when you truly don’t care about that tripod anymore, casually throwing it away feels more relaxed and comfortable than anything else.
She might have stopped liking Shen Zaiye long ago, so now her heart wasn’t very sad, but rather peaceful. She had revisited over a decade of emotions in a dozen days and finally could let go completely.
“Let’s go back,” Lu Zhilan said.
“So soon?” Shen Zaiye raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you want to see the lanterns outside?”
“Not anymore,” Lu Zhilan glanced at him with a smile. “It’s better to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival with family.”
Family? Shen Zaiye was stunned for a moment. He looked at her deeply, the corner of his mouth curling up slightly, and ordered outside, “Zhanlu, return to the mansion.”
“Yes!” Zhanlu responded, quickly turning the horse around.
“It’s a pity. It seems you’ll never fall in love with me in this lifetime,” Lu Zhilan lay down in the flower carriage, looking at the night sky above. She clicked her tongue twice. “Jiang will be pleased.”
(End of Chapter)