Huang Zixia bit her lower lip and said softly, “In truth, for many things, I have wronged Young Master Wang. Today, I came specifically to apologize to you. I hope you can forgive my past misdeeds. Huang Zixia will spend this life trying her utmost to make amends, hoping Young Master Wang will no longer be shamed because of me.”
Wang Yun hadn’t expected her to admit her faults so frankly from the start. He was momentarily stunned, and his ice-cold expression softened slightly. He gazed at her downturned face for a long while before finally letting out a deep breath and saying, “But why did you have to kill your family members for that person’s sake?”
“I didn’t.” A pain-like wound bursting open shot through her chest. Huang Zixia forcefully suppressed it and said in a trembling voice, “I disguised myself and traveled thousands of miles to the capital city precisely to utilize the imperial court’s power to capture the real culprit and clear my family’s wrongful accusations!”
Wang Yun remained silent for a long while before saying, “Some things are perhaps fate playing tricks on us. Please accept my condolences.”
She bit her lower lip and nodded silently, but despite her best efforts to control herself, she still couldn’t prevent tears from falling. Seeing her pale face and stubbornly pursed lips, his heart surged with complex emotions, and he couldn’t help saying to her softly, “Actually, I never believed you were the murderer. At first, I thought you would seek refuge with your father’s old friends, so I went several times to probe the homes of your father’s acquaintances but never found any trace of you. I just never imagined you would transform yourself into a eunuch at Prince Kui’s side.”
“That was also a coincidence. I ran into some trouble on the road and met Prince Kui. He made a deal with me – if I could help him resolve a matter, he would help me clear my bloody grievance and help overturn my case in Shu territory.” Huang Zixia lowered her eyelashes and said dejectedly, “I just never expected that what he entrusted me to resolve was his marriage affairs, involving your noble house’s private matters.”
“That was unavoidable, and not your fault,” Wang Yun said, then sighed again and added, “This morning during the ball game, my attitude was very impatient. Please don’t take offense.”
His showing such tolerance and even apologizing first for his attitude made Huang Zixia suddenly feel deeply guilty.
The two sat down in the pavilion, kneeling on opposite sides of a low table. Wind came from all directions, bringing coolness, while the light reflecting off the water outside merged with the lantern light inside, creating a bright yet dreamy atmosphere.
Wang Yun didn’t continue their previous topic but instead set out some refreshments for her, saying, “Last time you came to my home, I saw you enjoyed the cherry biluo pastries. Now that cherries are no longer in season, try these unripe plum biluo instead.”
The unripe plum biluo were placed in white porcelain cups, topped with crushed rose preserves, a deep red against the blue-green. The sweet preserves mixed with the tart unripe plums created a perfect flavor, absolutely brilliant as an appetizer.
Seeing how much she enjoyed this dessert, Wang Yun moved the plate closer to her and said with seeming casualness, “Many young ladies like unripe plums. But these things are extremely tart, and only become edible when preserved with copious amounts of honey.”
Hearing the deeper meaning of his words, Huang Zixia stopped eating and looked up at him.
His gaze was fixed on her as he spoke evenly: “Without honey, insisting on picking and eating such things would just be asking for suffering, wouldn’t it?”
Huang Zixia lowered her eyes, bit her lip, and remained silent for a moment before saying, “As with drinking water, only the drinker knows if it’s hot or cold. Those who don’t know its taste perhaps cannot truly understand the feeling.”
Wang Yun smiled slightly and passed her another plate of golden-threaded mince.
The moonlight outside shone on the water, filtering through the wide-open doors and windows to create rippling reflections all around. Huang Zixia knelt before him, looking at his smile so close at hand, her chest surging with complex emotions, yet not knowing how to speak. Several times she parted her lips, but the words she wanted to say disappeared in her throat, and she could only lower her head, pretending to concentrate on eating.
Meanwhile, Wang Yun sat before her, quietly gazing at her downturned face. She was still that same girl he had glimpsed three years ago, only now the childish roundness had faded, revealing stubborn and profound features.
Three years ago… she was fourteen, and he was just a sixteen-year-old youth who very much wanted to see his legendary, brilliantly talented fiancée, but was too shy and had to bring others with him to the palace before daring to steal a glance.
That spring afternoon, she wore a silver-red three-layered gauze dress, with purple wisteria flowers of varying shades painted on her white silk shawl.
She was at the end of the palace corridor, behind a group of palace maids, more slender and graceful than anyone else, like a budding orchid just beginning to bloom. He kept watching her, not daring to blink, afraid to miss his precious opportunity.
Until she reached the end of the corridor and finally turned her head. And so the face he had imagined countless times appeared before his eyes like fireworks suddenly blooming in the quiet night. On that spring day, her profile was carved into his heart as if by the sharpest knife, never to be erased.
However, she whom he had carved into his heart for over three years had given him the most fatal humiliation and blow. During that time, he tossed and turned, unable to eat or sleep properly. The profile deeply etched in his heart bled, and scabbed over, yet left a mark that could never be erased until death. He kept wondering where things had gone wrong, why the person he had looked forward to for three years, that wonderful fiancée like a flourishing orchid, would give him such a great humiliation right from the start, personally strangling his long-held hopes.
He gazed at Huang Zixia before him, thinking of his three years of empty anticipation, looking at the chief culprit who had brought shame to himself and his family, yet not knowing how to speak his next words.
Meanwhile, Huang Zixia felt his gaze and felt her chest tighten as if blocked, a suffocating feeling making her heart sink deeper and deeper.
She slowly put down the porcelain plate in her hand, bit her lower lip, and said softly, “I’m sorry… I had thought about discussing this matter peacefully with you, trying to resolve it between ourselves without alarming others…”
“Resolve… what do you mean?” Wang Yun stared at her, asking slowly.
Huang Zixia pressed her lips tightly together, raised her eyes to look at him, and after a long while, finally forced out a few words: “I mean, breaking off the engagement.”
Wang Yun’s beautiful phoenix eyes stared at her intently, as if trying to burn a hole through her. Just when she thought he would lose control and explode in anger at her, he suddenly turned away his gaze to look at the crescent moon outside the window, his voice low and calm: “I will not break off our engagement.”
Huang Zixia’s hand resting on the table unconsciously tightened into a fist in silent tension.
He kept his gaze on the window, where the gentle evening breeze made the flower shadows outside sway up and down. He struggled to control himself, and the gloom and shadows gradually retreated from his face. She heard his voice, like a whisper, even carrying a strange gentleness: “Huang Zixia, you are my wife, betrothed through proper matchmaking and confirmed by marriage documents and birth charts. No matter what crimes you commit, no matter where you are, as long as I don’t agree to break the engagement, you belong only to me in this life, and to no one else.”
These gentle words hit Huang Zixia’s chest like a heavy blow. She looked up in shock, and in the flickering water reflections and lamplight, she saw his gentle, calm face, yet felt the whole world beginning to turbulently shake, making her heart surge with warm blood and inexplicable tension and fear.
She breathed deeply to calm herself and said softly, “Thank you for your misplaced affection, Young Master Wang. But I don’t know if I will ever have a moment to stand before others in this life, so… I dare not delay Young Master Wang, nor dare to make you wait year after year. After all, you are the eldest grandson of the main family and have your responsibilities. If I cause the entire Langya Wang clan to be delayed because of me, Huang Zixia would never find peace in this life.”
But he smiled slightly and comforted her, saying, “You need not worry. The Wang family will always support you and do our utmost to help clear your grievance. I will also wait for you until the truth comes to light.”
Huang Zixia shook her head and stubbornly said, “But I am no longer in control of my fate. My reputation is now in tatters, and I no longer dream of being able to live peacefully and fortunately like ordinary women. In this life… I’m afraid you and I are destined to have no connection. Please choose another worthy match, Young Master Wang. Huang Zixia… can only fail you.”
He gazed at her intently, as if trying to see into her heart.
While Huang Zixia looked at him and silently bit her lower lip.
After a long while, she heard him say softly as if sighing: “Huang Zixia, making so many high-sounding excuses, do you think I can’t see your true heart?”
Her scalp tingled slightly, and under his penetrating gaze that seemed to see through people’s hearts, she felt completely exposed. She didn’t dare to look up at him and could only keep her head down in silence, with only the reflected water light from outside sliding across her eyelashes, unstable and fluctuating.
While he still spoke gently, slowly saying: “You still think of that Yu Xuan, don’t you?”
Huang Zixia remained silent with her head bowed. Her romance was already common knowledge, so any denial or concealment would be useless, so she could only choose silence.
“Sometimes, I feel very helpless, very… painful.” He stared at her fixedly, with dark flames burning in his gaze, “My fiancée loves a man, and the matter became so big, known to all under heaven with much discussion – yet that man is not me. May I ask if you have ever considered my feelings?”
Huang Zixia bowed her head deeply and said in a trembling voice: “I’m sorry… At this point, everything is my fault. Please, Young Master Wang, cast aside this ill-fated person and choose another noble lady. Huang Zixia… will make up for everything I owe you in the next life.”
“Next life, what do I want with an illusory next life?” His voice, which had been gentle until now, finally took on an icy tone, “Huang Zixia, you need to say no more. No matter where you are, to the ends of the earth, in heaven or underground, even in death, you will always belong to our Wang family!”
His voice was stern, leaving no room for turning back.
Huang Zixia knew in her heart that all her pleas would be in vain. However, she had no choice but to bow deeply to him and say softly: “Please forgive Huang Zixia, who bears the blood debt of her parents, with great revenge not yet taken, and cannot place matters of the heart first. I hope Young Master Wang understands.”
She stood up to leave.
But she heard a rush of wind, and her hand was suddenly grabbed.
It was Wang Yun, who had caught up from behind and grabbed her wrist.
Caught off guard, she instinctively turned to look at him, only to see his burning eyes fixed intently on her.
Her heart trembled, and she unconsciously took a step back, but her back hit the wall, leaving her unable to retreat any further.
“That person… you are my fiancée, yet your heart only thinks of that person?” He pressed her shoulders against the wall, trying his utmost to lower his voice, yet still unable to suppress his resentment. That face that usually seemed like the spring breeze had transformed into a storm due to anger, his gaze piercing deep into her heart like being whipped by fierce wind and rain, making her instantly feel weak and grief-stricken.
If not for Yu Xuan, this spring they would already be husband and wife.
If not for that tragedy that pierced her entire life, perhaps in this life she would have joined hands with the person before her – handsome, gentle, from a noble family, a perfect husband. Perhaps she could have lived harmoniously with him for a lifetime, growing old together in mutual respect.
But now, she could only feel the fear sweeping through her chest, and she tried her best to turn her face away, not daring to look at him directly. Yet he lowered his head, his burning breath spreading at her ear, and she heard him call softly: “Huang Zixia…”
That voice, mixed with his slight panting, was slightly hoarse, scattered by her cheek, carrying a meaning that made her heart alarmed.
While he pressed her against the wall, lowered his head, and moved to kiss her lips.
Cold sweat broke out all over her body in an instant. Gritting her teeth, she gathered all her strength to raise both hands, preparing to push him away forcefully.
Just as her fingertips touched the front of his robe, someone outside lightly knocked twice on the open door and said softly: “Young Master, there’s a letter from Prince Kui’s mansion, specifically addressed to Eunuch Yang Chonggu.”
Wang Yun seemed to come to his senses in an instant.
He released Huang Zixia’s shoulders and stepped back two paces, staring blankly for a moment before looking toward the door.
Without realizing it, the sky had completely darkened.
Chang’an was about to implement its night curfew, and even at the Wang mansion, except for urgent matters or serious illness, people generally wouldn’t move about. Wang Yun, as if waking from a dream, let out a long breath, turned back to sit at the low table, and said softly, “Come in.”
Huang Zixia leaned against the door, feeling cold sweat seeping from her palms, dizzy with fear. She struggled to control her hand as she took the envelope and opened it, pulling out the snow-wave paper inside.
The paper was folded into a diamond shape, very thick. She opened it to find a blank sheet.
Not a single word.
She glanced at it, then immediately folded the letter back up, returned it to the envelope as it was, then looked up at Wang Yun and said: “Young Master Wang, the Prince has urgent matters and requires me to return to the mansion. I’m afraid I must go back now, please understand.”
Wang Yun’s hand pressed on the table, trembling almost imperceptibly. He forcibly controlled himself, not looking at her again, only turning his face toward the window to look at the clear wind and bright moon outside. His lips showed his usual smile, his voice gentle and calm, speaking clearly: “The night is deep and the dew heavy, be careful on your way.”