“Social roles refer to our behavioral expectations of people in specific positions. When certain behaviors are deemed effective, they become fixed and serve as guidelines for interpersonal relationships…”

In the early summer sunshine, the professor shifted his gaze from the PowerPoint and adjusted his glasses: “That male student in the back, do you want to go enjoy the spring weather?”

Xie Huai was distracted during the lecture, watching Xia Xia by the window.

The girl sat with a straight spine, and he could only see her slim back and beautiful profile. She listened attentively to the lecture, occasionally lowering her head to take notes. The new downy hair at her temples trembled with her movements, appearing faintly golden in the sunlight from outside.

Xie Huai smiled: “No.”

He looked down and opened his notebook, finding a white paper folded between its pages.

He unfolded it, revealing a simple cartoon drawing.

“…Role-playing refers to the process where someone qualified for a certain role takes it on and acts according to its behavioral norms, a concept first proposed by Mead.”

“Role-playing often faces various disorders, and role failure is one manifestation of role disorder…”

The cartoon was something he had drawn to threaten Xia Xia during the class meeting at the start of the semester. It had been tucked in his book for half a year, and though the carbon pen marks had faded considerably, the content was still clear – a stick figure representing Xie Huai beating another stick figure representing Xia Xia with a club.

Xie Huai took out his pen and drew an X next to the cartoon.

He folded the paper back into his notebook and began earnestly copying notes from the PowerPoint. After the professor finished this lesson, he drew two more stick figures next to his notes about role disorder, but this time the roles were reversed – the girl was the one doing the beating.

Xie Huai raised his eyebrows as he finished the last stroke.

He still remembered clearly how Xia Xia had chased him down the street that night, beating him with a mineral water bottle. The memory still made his teeth itch.

Xie Huai thought: I must have spoiled her too much, letting her become so lawless.

He needed to find an opportunity to give Xia Xia a thorough lesson in proper behavior, to help her clearly understand her position with him.

After evening classes, Xia Xia went to pick up her packages on her way back.

There was a long line at the delivery kiosk, all students who had just finished class.

Xia Xia stood at the end of the line pretending to play with her phone, occasionally glancing at Xie Huai who was looking for packages at the front of the kiosk.

As the line slowly moved forward, when it was Xia Xia’s turn, Xie Huai sat still in his chair, fingering his prayer beads while quietly watching her.

She gave her tracking number, and Liang Yuantai helped retrieve her package.

“Xia Xia, help me tear this,” Liang Yuantai couldn’t get his fingernails under the tape on the delivery box.

Xie Huai: “Don’t talk to her, this woman is terrifyingly fierce.”

Xia Xia ignored him and bent down to help Liang Yuantai tear the tape.

Xie Huai handed her a package: “I can’t tear mine either, help me too?”

Xia Xia: “Get lost.”

There was no one behind Xia Xia anymore.

Xie Huai banged the box on the table: “Yuantai, get out.”

Just as Liang Yuantai was about to obediently leave, Xia Xia said: “Don’t you dare leave.”

Liang Yuantai: “…”

Xie Huai simply pushed Liang Yuantai out the door.

He pulled down the rolling shutter and tugged on the light switch cord beside the door.

The sounds from the outside world were shut out, and the night was blocked outside. The small space was warm and bright with lamplight.

Xie Huai advanced, Xia Xia retreated, her body pressing against the rolling door.

“You’re getting more and more capable, daring to tell me to get lost,” Xie Huai said. “Look up, let me see what someone so tough looks like.”

Xia Xia raised her head, her pupils dark, reflecting the orange lamplight.

“Oh, it’s Xia Xia,” Xie Huai said lazily. “But I remember Xia Xia wasn’t like this before.”

He asked: “Do you have multiple personalities, or was your previous behavior all an act?”

Xia Xia was trapped between his body and the door, with no space to escape. Her nose came up to Xie Huai’s chest, and his T-shirt was freshly changed. Up close, the fresh scent of laundry detergent filled her nostrils. Her mind wandered as she breathed it in, and she couldn’t help but take several deep breaths, though her face remained impassive.

“I wasn’t acting,” she said calmly. “I was gentle with you because I liked you, but you don’t like me, so why should I still be gentle with you?”

She had fought in the street, then angrily beat Xie Huai with a water bottle – after he had seen these sides of her, she felt somewhat self-destructive.

Xie Huai had once said he liked her being gentle. Now that her gentle facade had shattered, Xie Huai, who didn’t like her to begin with, would be even less likely to like her after seeing these things.

She asked: “Open the door, I want to go back.”

Xie Huai said: “No.”

Xia Xia looked at him puzzled: “It’s very late now, is it appropriate for a man and woman to be alone in a room? What exactly do you want to do?”

Asked like this, even Xie Huai couldn’t explain clearly.

After getting out of detention, their relationship had become very subtle.

To say they were still at odds – Xia Xia wasn’t avoiding him anymore; to say they had reconciled – they were no longer as close as before.

Xia Xia no longer clung to him, and rarely initiated conversation. Apart from when Xie Huai didn’t have time to eat and would message Xia Xia to bring him food, he could only briefly see her face-to-face when she came to pick up packages.

They each had their thoughts, one unable to speak up, one not knowing what to say, and so the days dragged on.

It had been a long time since Xie Huai had looked at her this closely.

Xia Xia naturally had a good girl’s face. Even after seeing her other side, in Xie Huai’s heart, she was still that sweet and soft girl. She was sweet when angry, sweet when irritated – even the plastic bottle she had used to beat him in the street was somehow sweet.

Xia Xia kept her head down. Since she finally had a chance to be this close to Xie Huai, she was taking the opportunity to secretly smell his scent.

Who knew when the next chance would come, she had to get her fill now, to savor the memory later.

Xie Huai: “A man and woman alone, are you afraid I’ll take advantage of you?”

Xia Xia said: “Shouldn’t you be the one who’s afraid? You better open the door, or I might do something unexpected. No one can see us here – in a moment of impulse, I might even rape you.”

Xie Huai: “…”

He understood now.

Xia Xia had completely given up on pretenses, and every casual word from her mouth could leave him speechless.

He moved aside. On the table was Xia Xia’s delivery box. He picked it up and shook it: “What did you buy?”

Xia Xia had been receiving packages every day lately, each time a small box, light as a feather. Xie Huai was always curious about what was inside.

Xia Xia said: “Give it to me.”

Xie Huai grew more curious: “I can’t even look?”

Xia Xia slapped his hand hard: “Give it to me!”

Xie Huai hissed: “You…”

He met the girl’s calm eyes, and the “you dare hit me” that was about to burst out got swallowed back.

“Fine,” Xie Huai completely forgot about his plan to teach Xia Xia a lesson.

He backed down: “If you want it, take it.”

Back in her dorm, Xia Xia casually tossed the unopened delivery box into the trash.

She opened Taobao and clicked on her page. The logistics showed three more packages in transit and one not yet shipped, all ninety-cent free shipping black hair ties. One would arrive tomorrow, one the day after, and another the day after that.

She clicked into the store and placed an order for the day after that, then closed her phone and pulled out an exchange student application form from her desk.

The Social Sciences Department at South University had one exchange student spot each year, for neighboring Sea University.

Sea University was a key national university, with its Sociology program ranking above South University. A year of exchange would be recorded in students’ files, and those with outstanding academic performance could extend for another year, studying at Sea University for two years before returning for their senior year. Their graduation certificates would then bear the joint training seal of both schools.

This single spot was fiercely contested by the entire major, with selection based solely on academic year GPA and CET-4 English test scores – whoever had the highest grades would get the exchange opportunity.

When Xing Xin announced this during the class meeting, Xia Xia listened carefully. After everyone left, she went to get a form from Xing Xin.

Cai Yun was there too, and her face fell when she saw Xia Xia take the form.

Xia Xia filled out the form and tucked it in her book, then put on headphones to practice English listening.

The CET-4 exam was coming up, and she did one set of practice questions every night.

Cai Yun returned from washing up and mockingly said: “I advise you not to take the test. You only got ninety points in the college entrance English exam – no matter how many practice tests you do, you won’t pass CET-4.”

Xia Xia turned up her headphone volume and said coldly: “Shut up.”

June.

The CET-4 exam was at 9 AM. Xia Xia left early, first going to the cafeteria for breakfast, then hurrying to Yi Meixian’s office to submit her exchange application form.

Yi Meixian hadn’t arrived yet, and Xie Huai was sitting in her chair with his feet up.

From the start of school until now, nearly a full academic year had passed, but Xie Huai’s contest with Yi Meixian hadn’t ended. Because she had called him stupid once, Xie Huai had been coming to her office all year to take school regulation tests, showing up daily without fail, rain or shine.

There was a cardboard box by the windowsill specifically for Xie Huai’s test papers. After a year, it was almost full. Thanks to Xie Huai, Yi Meixian had a student who had failed the school regulations test 200 times, causing her to miss out on the mid-year Outstanding Counselor evaluation.

Xie Huai was halfway through his test paper, sitting with his feet up and playing with the leaves of Yi Meixian’s pothos plant on the windowsill.

Xia Xia greeted him, placed her form in the most visible spot on the desk, and left.

Xie Huai picked up the form to look at it, then got up to chase after her.

Xia Xia hadn’t gone far when he caught her arm and pulled her back.

Xie Huai waved her application form: “You want to go on exchange to Sea University?”

Xia Xia: “It’s just an application. Whether I can go depends on my major grades and CET-4 score.”

“When did you get the application form?”

Xia Xia thought for a moment: “May.”

Xie Huai’s eyes darkened: “You planned this exchange a month ago, we see each other every day, but you didn’t say a word to me?”

“This is my own business,” Xia Xia said. “Besides, you’re so busy every day. If I told you everything, you’d get annoyed.”

This semester, besides delivering packages, Xie Huai was also managing WeChat groups.

He would find businesses off-campus to cooperate with, promote their products in the groups, and collect advertising fees from the merchants.

Though it sounded simple, the work wasn’t easy.

Since his target audience was students, he had to choose products within their spending power – sometimes snacks and specialties, electronics, sometimes newly opened restaurants, farmhouse stays or entertainment venue promotions, and sometimes enrollment ads for nearby training centers and tutoring classes.

Xie Huai had to carefully maintain relationships between merchants and customers. Between classes and deliveries, most of his remaining time was spent running around outside. Xia Xia rarely saw him except during class. Sometimes when she went out for late-night snacks, she would meet Xie Huai just returning at the school gate.

He wouldn’t enter the campus but would sit alone on a stone stool by the gate eating a lollipop.

Though he didn’t say it, Xia Xia could feel he was under great pressure and very tired. Unless it was important, she didn’t want to bother him with her little thoughts.

“I’d get annoyed? How do you know I’d be annoyed when you didn’t even ask?” Xie Huai’s face darkened.

Xia Xia said softly: “I can feel it. You’re annoyed right now – did I make you angry again somehow?”

Xie Huai was gripping her wrist very hard. It hurt a little, so she pulled free.

Xie Huai: “Do you want to go on exchange, or are you trying to avoid me?”

Xia Xia pressed her lips together: “Go on exchange.”

“I want the truth.”

“Go on exchange.”

Xia Xia said: “I only came to South University because I didn’t perform well in the college entrance exam. I also want to see what a higher-level institution is like. It’s a rare opportunity that everyone is competing for. Why would you think I’m applying for exchange just to avoid you?”

Xie Huai maintained his composure, but his silence couldn’t hide the darkness in his eyes.

He asked: “If we were together, would you still leave?”

Xia Xia didn’t speak. She had an answer in her heart but couldn’t say it in front of Xie Huai.

If she and Xie Huai were together, forget actively applying for exchange – even if they invited her, she wouldn’t leave here for a single step.

And her previous words weren’t entirely truthful.

Wanting to study in a better environment was true, but wanting to get away from Xie Huai was also true. Their current relationship was awkward and strange. She couldn’t pretend nothing had happened and stay by his side after he had rejected her feelings.

Her silence made Xie Huai misunderstand.

“I understand,” he said.

He walked back to the office and slammed the door hard.

Ten minutes before the exam, Xie Huai finally came in with a cold expression.

He threw his backpack on the podium and sat down with his listening headphones and pen.

His seat was right behind Xia Xia.

Xia Xia could hear his barely contained anger and the uncontrolled way he threw things around.

When Xie Huai was angry, he was like a child, always trying to attract attention in his unique way.

The listening test sound check began.

Xia Xia tuned her headphones to the CET-4 channel and pressed it several times, but the light wouldn’t come on.

She put on the headphones but couldn’t hear anything.

It had been working fine during last night’s sound check in the dorm, but now such a big problem right before the exam.

She opened the battery compartment and found the batteries missing.

Xia Xia was stunned.

She had checked the batteries were fine when packing her bag this morning. She had put the headphones in her bag and gone to wash up, then taken them straight out when she returned. At that time, Zhu Ziyu and Zhao Shanqi were still sleeping in the dorm, only Cai Yun was up and doing makeup at her desk.

Zhu Ziyu, sitting on her right, asked quietly when the teacher wasn’t looking: “Headphones broken?”

“Battery’s gone,” Xia Xia said.

Zhu Ziyu realized: “Did Cai Yun take it? Last night when you were out, she was saying your English was poor, and I mentioned you just didn’t perform well in the college entrance exam. It must be her – your major grades are better than hers, if your CET-4 score is higher too, she won’t have a chance at the exchange spot.”

Xia Xia put her headphones down on the desk.

Listening comprehension carried a lot of weight in the CET-4 score. With her headphones not working, that section was forfeited. Her grades weren’t much higher than Cai Yun’s, to begin with – if she couldn’t pass CET-4, Cai Yun would get the exchange spot.

The exam was about to start, and Xia Xia couldn’t conjure up batteries out of thin air.

She lay on her desk, clearly frustrated.

The chair leg moved – Xie Huai was kicking her.

Xia Xia moved her chair forward, and Xie Huai kicked her again.

Xia Xia sat up, about to turn around and argue with him.

The desk behind her pushed forward, and a warm presence drew near. A headphone was placed over Xia Xia’s head, and suddenly the sound check audio filled her ears.

She looked back to see Xie Huai standing up.

He reached out and took her silent headphones from her desk.

The listening test began.

With a cold expression, he put Xia Xia’s non-working headphones on his ears.