The golden light of dawn spread across the land, softening the chaos, bloodshed, exhaustion, and suffering that had engulfed the Forbidden City. The ancient, heavy eaves seemed to glow faintly in the hazy light.
Weapons, corpses, and congealed blood littered the ground. The area where cannons had blasted lay in ruins. It seemed dawn had not yet reached this place, as a dry, chilly wind blew in from outside.
Soldiers were clearing the grounds. Everything had come to an end. Dao Yan had captured Zhou Yingyou, the deputy commander had taken control of the Empress, and Luo Shenyuan had imprisoned Lu Jiaxue.
The man who could withstand armies was still smiling at the end, scorning both victory and his own life.
“Chancellor,” an attendant said, handing over the tiger tally, golden tablet, and Grand Marshal’s seal. “Here are the items.”
Luo Shenyuan nodded, taking them in hand as he entered the Hall of Supreme Harmony to report the results to the Emperor. He also needed to handle the disposition of the rebels and remnants, as well as their capture.
Followed by the Imperial Guard, Luo Shenyuan ascended the steps of the hall. The cold wind stirred his robes as he climbed higher, where golden light bathed everything.
He paused halfway up, looking back at the path he had taken. It seemed no one was accompanying him on this lonely road upward.
He would be revered by thousands and wield immense power. Yet, he would inevitably be alone.
The noble ladies detained in the palace were escorted back home one by one.
In just one night, the palace had changed hands. As Luo Yining returned home, she saw black-armored troops pouring out of the palace, heading to various parts of the imperial city. The Cheng family residence in Xinqiao Hutong was surrounded. The elderly Lord Cheng, over seventy years old, was forced to don official robes and taken to court.
Cheng Lang was not the mastermind, and Luo Shenyuan had failed to capture him. The old Lord Cheng would suffer, but given his great service, the Cheng family likely wouldn’t be completely uprooted. Perhaps if Lord Cheng worked hard, the Emperor might even spare Cheng Lang’s life, as he was a talented youth the Emperor had relied on.
Luo Yining alighted from her carriage to find Xie Yun waiting anxiously at her door with a maid. “Do you… do you know what happened to him?” Xie Yun asked as she approached.
“Who are you asking about?” Luo Yining replied, her mind still hazy and her tone indifferent.
Xie Yun hesitated, lowering her voice. “…Cheng Lang.”
Luo Yining shook her head. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been caught yet. With his intelligence, he should be fine… You should be careful, though, Fourth Lady Cheng.”
“I had no idea he would do this suddenly,” Xie Yun said, looking bewildered and frightened. “Even my aunt kept it from me… I didn’t know!”
“It’s good that you didn’t know,” Luo Yining nodded. Indifferent to Xie Yun’s situation, she moved to enter her residence.
Xie Yun stood silently behind her for a long while. Remembering Cheng Lang’s cold smirk when she confronted him, and how calmly he had straightened his sleeves, she sighed. “He never really cared about living. Now… he probably doesn’t care about dying either. Who knows what he’s thinking? Wanting something you can’t have is probably the most painful thing in this world.” She seemed to be speaking to herself, not expecting Luo Yining to understand. Glancing back at Luo Yining, she said, “I’ve bothered you. Farewell.”
With that, Xie Yun adjusted her dress, called for her maid to support her, and returned to the Cheng residence.
Luo Yining stood stunned for a moment before finally entering her home.
At dawn, when they tried to take Lu Jiaxue from her arms, she knelt on the ground, refusing to let go. With his injuries, Lu Jiaxue would not survive in prison.
Luo Shenyuan had remained silent, only speaking when pushed to the limit. Gripping her chin, he had said slowly and deliberately, “I promised to spare his life. He will not die, understand?”
In the thin morning mist, Luo Yining could still see the troops lurking ahead, solemn and frost-covered arrow tips glinting coldly.
The man before her wore a face as cold as frost.
Luo Yining closed her eyes, crying silently. The warmth of Lu Jiaxue in her hands gradually faded.
She walked step by step toward Jia Shu Hall, covered in blood – Lu Jiaxue’s and others’. Sleepless and emotionally drained, her steps grew unsteady. She walked and cried, eventually breaking into loud sobs. All her pain poured out in tears. Zhenzu supported her, too frightened to speak.
“My lady, please stop crying! Everything is fine now!”
Luo Yining curled up, kneeling on the cold stone path that bruised her knees.
She feared she could never repay the debt she owed others. With only one heart, loving Luo Shenyuan meant she would always be indebted to Lu Jiaxue. But asking Luo Shenyuan to spare Lu Jiaxue had also been difficult for him. For a man like him, political principles should be inviolable. Yet he had agreed.
His plan to use her as bait, the arrows aimed at her – at that moment, he must have felt indifferent.
Someone approached her with measured steps.
It was Dao Yan, just returned from the palace. Dried blood still stained his boots.
“I heard…” he said softly, “you threatened Luo Shenyuan with your own life to save Lu Jiaxue?”
Luo Yining remained silent, slowly clenching her fists.
“Well done. Very brave,” Dao Yan said, crouching down with a cruel smile. “When the Imperial Guard took you hostage, did you waver? Did you think my disciple was behind it? Is that why you dared to say such things? I guessed you were important to Lu Jiaxue, so we planned to use you as bait in the palace… But I never imagined he would abandon everything to save you. Even a great hero like Lu Jiaxue can be so sentimental.”
Luo Yining trembled.
He had calculated everything, deliberately leading her to believe Luo Shenyuan was involved!
She raised her hand and slapped Dao Yan hard across the face, using all her strength, her eyes wide and red.
The renowned war god’s head snapped to the side, a faint handprint appearing on his cheek. But a moment later, he stood up. “I let you vent. Now get up. It’s all over. Go home, clean up, and comfort my disciple. Lu Jiaxue will be safe, but I’m not so sure about him.”
Dao Yan walked away, the wind stirring his thin cassock.
It took a long time for Luo Yining to stop crying. She wiped her tears and let Zhenzu help her up. She did indeed need to go wash up.
Her life had to go on.
He didn’t return until nightfall. Surprisingly, their son Bao’er remained quiet, watching his mother intently. Perhaps it was truly a mother-son connection; the child clung to her, refusing to leave. Luo Yining gave him some water and then had the wet nurse take him to play with Ting’er.
Luo Yining sat still, lost in thought for a long time. One moment she recalled his cold fingers, the next his indifferent expression. Unable to settle, she decided to get some books from his study. As she approached, she noticed the lamps were already lit inside.
Had he… already returned?
Luo Yining halted, hesitating. Then, realizing there was no one inside, she slowly entered.
She looked around as she walked. This was where he would write, bent over his desk, or stand by the window to read.
Two turtles crawled lazily in a porcelain tank. He had cared for them well; their shells gleamed as they slowly ate, looking content. Only with such comfort could they be so carefree, sheltered from wind and rain, fed daily. Cared for and protected.
These were the turtles she had raised as a child. He had never mentioned it to her, just taking them wherever he went. That was his way of doing things.
Luo Yining gently traced the patterns on the turtle shells, then noticed an envelope on the desk. It was addressed to Wei Ling in his handwriting.
She picked up the envelope and found it unsealed. What had he written to her father?
Luo Yining hesitated for a moment. She put the letter down and wandered around the study, but finally picked it up again and opened it. It was indeed his handwriting.
“Esteemed Father-in-law,
It has been long since we met, and I miss your wise counsel. I hope you are well in the harsh frontier. There are many affairs in court, and the rift between us is difficult to resolve. Please know that I am devoted to my filial duties and have not neglected your daughter Yining.
General Lu has returned to court, and there have been changes in the palace. I am busy maneuvering and remaining loyal to His Majesty. Although I have planned everything carefully, I fear there may be mistakes. This matter is of great importance and must be handled with utmost caution. I have but one request of you: Yining is frail, and our young child cannot yet speak. I worry for them constantly and entrust my wife and child to your care.
If I am defeated, I will surely not survive. Yining will be heartbroken. Please console her and tell her not to grieve. I have set aside several tens of thousands in funds for her.
There is much more to say, but I will keep this brief. I sincerely hope you will grant my request. I am deeply grateful for your efforts and concern.
Your son-in-law,
Shenyuan”
As she read, large tears fell onto the letter. She read the line “If I am defeated, I will surely not survive. Yining will be heartbroken” over and over, crying so hard she could barely breathe.
What if something had happened to him?
Was this… was this his last will?
He had never told her about these worries, fears, and anxieties. He had only reassured her that everything was fine, while secretly writing this letter. To his father-in-law, who had already begun to guard against him, he pleaded earnestly and humbly for care. How could he not be afraid? His opponent was Lu Jiaxue!
She slid down against the long table, tightly covering her mouth. Suddenly realizing she had wet the letter, she frantically tried to wipe it, but the ink had already blurred.
She wondered what to do, how to cover it up. Perhaps she could copy it herself – she knew her handwriting was similar to his, though she wasn’t sure if he would notice the difference.
But there was no other choice.
Luo Yining stood up to find brush and ink and took out the inkstone and paper. Taking a deep breath, she unfolded the original letter and began to trace his handwriting.
But as she wrote this letter, she began to cry again. Each ordinary word seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. Finally, her hand shook so much she couldn’t continue. She had to pause to rest, and then resume writing.
“Yining is frail, and our young child cannot yet speak…”
Just as she reached this part, there was a commotion outside. A servant was saying, “Chancellor, you’ve returned!”
Luo Yining hurriedly tried to hide the letter, folding it into her sleeve. The man entered without delay.
“No need to attend to me. You may withdraw,” came a voice, cold as the night and indescribably weary.
Luo Shenyuan entered to find her standing there, eyes red, staring at him. He seemed not to notice her, walking straight to the small table to pour himself tea. Luo Yining immediately went to take the teapot and pour for him, only to find the tea was cold. “The tea has gone cold,” she said softly. “Shall I have them bring hot tea?”
“No need,” he said, taking the teapot from her hands and pouring himself.
Indeed it was cold, chilling him from mouth to throat. Only then did Luo Shenyuan become slightly more alert.
He said flatly, “If you’ve come to ask about Lu Jiaxue, his life has been spared. He shook the frontier for over twenty years; the Emperor will find use for him and won’t kill him lightly. But he will likely never stay in the capital again. Don’t ask me anymore. As for the other rebels, some are dead, some exiled. None will be pardoned.”
Luo Yining knew he was distant, but she said softly, “I didn’t come to ask about him.”
“Then are you here to ask about me?” A mocking smile touched his lips.
Luo Yining grasped his sleeve, her voice pleading, “When I saw the Imperial Guard, I thought it was you. I didn’t know! Dao Yan had me enter the palace. I only wanted to help you…”
Luo Shenyuan shook off her hand. “Luo Yining, I don’t want to hear this now.”
Luo Yining fell silent, her lips trembling slightly. Then she said slowly, “I had to save him… Luo Shenyuan, my heart already belongs completely to another. There’s no room left for him. Even if that person…” Tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t want to cry, but couldn’t help it. “Even if that person wanted to use me, to harm me. I still can’t help but love him! I can’t help feeling guilty! Because I don’t love Lu Jiaxue anymore. Luo Shenyuan, I can’t repay him for saving me like that!”
Luo Yining spoke so passionately that she stumbled backward, bumping into the long table. Tears streamed down her face.
Luo Shenyuan seemed moved by her words. He stared at her intently, unable to speak for a long time. However, his gaze shifted downward, noticing the letter that had fallen to the floor.
Luo Shenyuan immediately stood up and walked towards her. “What’s that?”
Luo Yining hurriedly picked it up, not wanting him to see. But Luo Shenyuan had already pressed against her body, reaching out to snatch it.
“Don’t look!” Luo Yining couldn’t let him see it, but she was no match for his strength. Seeing her attempt to hide it, Luo Shenyuan suspected it might be something significant, even momentarily wondering if Luo Yining was corresponding with someone else. With this thought, he was even more determined to obtain it, his lips tightly pressed as he grabbed it away.
But when he opened and looked at it, he was immediately taken aback. This…
“Were you… copying my letter?”
Luo Yining, embarrassed and angry, unable to move under his pressure, could only say, “I told you not to look!”
Luo Shenyuan put down the letter, holding her down with one hand while pushing aside the items on the long table with the other. He found the original letter, tear-stained and ink-blurred – the one he had written.
“I ruined the letter. I thought if I replaced it, you wouldn’t notice…” Luo Yining explained, but she noticed him suddenly chuckle, and then grasp her hand.
“Luo Yining, you didn’t think I couldn’t tell the difference between your handwriting and mine, did you?”
To his surprise, she looked at him for a long time and asked, “Are you not angry anymore?”
Luo Shenyuan sighed. “If I were to stay angry with you, it would never end.”
Moreover, her earlier words had truly moved him. As long as he knew… she hadn’t developed feelings for Lu Jiaxue, Luo Shenyuan had no reason to be angry. Furthermore, her actions were indeed absurdly amusing; he couldn’t maintain his anger and was close to laughing.
But Luo Yining still looked at him, insisting he explain himself.
“Fine, fine! I owe you!” His tone was somewhat helpless. “I haven’t closed my eyes for a day and a night. I’m not angry with you anymore. I want to sleep.”
Luo Yining finally brightened, hugging him tightly. She murmured, “When I saw the letter, I cried for so long. Promise you’ll tell me these things in the future, alright?”
He merely grunted in response.
Now that he had succeeded, there was no use in keeping the letter. Luo Shenyuan took it, and crumpled it into a ball, intending to throw it away.
Luo Yining quickly stopped him. “No, I still want it.” She carefully smoothed out the letter, placed it back in the envelope, and tucked it into her bosom.
Luo Shenyuan looked at her eyes, swollen like walnuts from crying and lack of sleep – not a pretty sight. But the more he looked, the warmer he felt, like a heated blanket on a winter’s night.
She turned back to him with a smile. “Let me help you to bed.”
Her heart was filled with only this person now, with no room for anyone else.
Luo Yining heard her voice say, from the moment she saw that letter, from when Luo Shenyuan gave up killing Lu Jiaxue for her sake. All of this was no longer her choice to make.
She too had become that vulnerable person. If Luo Shenyuan wanted to hurt her in the future, he could wound her deeply.
Because from now on, she truly had no defenses against him, no guard at all.
The thought nearly brought her to tears, a feeling of warmth welling up in her eyes.
Luo Yining helped him lie down. Luo Shenyuan quickly fell asleep due to exhaustion, but Luo Yining sat by the bedside, watching him for a long time.
She leaned down to kiss his face.
In this lifetime… this man had finally moved her. He had truly won. She would fear losing him, fear being abandoned, fear him being taken away by someone else.
Even if one day he ignored her, she would still follow him.
Luo Yining lay beside him, quietly closing her eyes.
Luo Shenyuan slept soundly through the night. When he awoke the next day, she was no longer by his side. He reached into the bedding, but it was cold. Frowning, he immediately got dressed and rose. Upon stepping outside and looking up, he discovered she was already playing outside with Bao’er. The child sat on his mother’s lap, giggling.
Only then did he relax, leaning against the doorframe to watch the mother and son.
She was talking to Bao’er, though he couldn’t hear what she was saying. When she looked up, her smile was radiant. “You’re finally awake! Would you like something to eat?”
“Dumplings,” Luo Shenyuan said. “The ones with lamb filling.”
“I’ll go make them for you.” She handed Bao’er to him, then went to the kitchen with her maid.
Luo Shenyuan held his son, who squirmed in his father’s arms and then planted a small palm on his father’s face. Luo Shenyuan pinched his son’s soft cheeks and smiled at him. “You’ll fall into my hands sooner or later, you know?”
Young and innocent, Bao’er didn’t understand why this stern man was smiling. He was unaware of the long road of study ahead, which would pass under his father’s strict guidance.
Shortly after finishing breakfast, Luo Shenyuan had to leave to handle the remaining affairs.
He took a carriage, first visiting Lu Jiaxue in prison.
Lu Jiaxue was lying down drinking tea, half-dead but with a calm expression.
Since saving Luo Yining, it seemed as if he had untied some knot in his heart, becoming even more carefree than before, unbothered by his imprisonment.
Perhaps he had finally completed some long-held regret.
“Ah, Chancellor Luo has come!” Lu Jiaxue smiled mockingly, naturally showing no respect to the man who had subdued him using a woman.
Luo Shenyuan stood before him, suddenly remembering that this prison had once held Yang Ling. He had knelt here, holding Yang Ling’s hand as he listened to his final words.
Then he had decided to ensure that righteousness would endure in the world.
By whatever means necessary.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Luo Shenyuan said softly as he slowly walked to Lu Jiaxue’s side.
This young man, once humble before him, now carried himself with immense presence, ambitious and ruthlessly decisive.
Truly formidable.
Lu Jiaxue smiled. “Has the Chancellor not taken his anger out on Yining?”
Luo Shenyuan glanced at him. “Do you know how easy it would be for you to die? If you value the life she saved, don’t provoke me.”
Lu Jiaxue fell silent, seeming to return to his former self as a concubine’s son in the Marquis’ household, with nothing to his name.
Luo Shenyuan leaned down, looking at the blood-stained bandages on Lu Jiaxue’s body. He smiled and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t let you die. However – you’ll never return here in this lifetime. I’ve only come to see you one last time. In half a month, you’ll be sent to guard the frontier.”
“As for your past with her, well, that’s in the past now.” Luo Shenyuan stood up and walked out of the cell.
His final words were soft: “Farewell, Lord Lu.”
Lu Jiaxue said nothing more. After Luo Shenyuan disappeared, he tightly gripped the string of beads in his hand.
In his ears, her voice intertwined with the dim light of the prison cell, as bright as spring sunshine: “Lu Jiaxue, why did you marry me?… Lu Jiaxue, why do you laugh at my ugly handwriting? What’s so beautiful about an epiphyllum?… Lu Jiaxue, the dog you brought back is so ugly!” The last voice said, “Does it hurt? Lu Jiaxue, does it hurt?”
He closed his eyes, a faint smile on his lips.
It hurts, Luo Yining.
But no matter how much it hurts, it’s over now. He would no longer even have the pain to hold onto.
After two months of bitter cold, the capital was shrouded in a solemn atmosphere, with many dead and wounded.
But after the bitter cold, spring finally arrived.
The February spring breeze was like scissors, melting the snow in the courtyard and slowly raising the water level in the small pond.
New buds of lotus leaves emerged in early spring, their tender shoots a pale red.
Bao’er, sitting in his wet nurse’s arms, reached out to catch the drooping willow branches. He grabbed a handful of tender shoots and turned to show his mother: “Mama, mama.”
Luo Yining took him into her arms, feeling his back to check if he was sweating.
She gazed at the spring scenery before her, lost in thought.
The results of the palace coup had finally come down. Zhou Yingyou was beheaded, the Empress deposed, and the Third Prince confined. The Crown Prince successfully ascended to the throne. As expected, the Emperor didn’t kill Lu Jiaxue but demoted him by several ranks and sent him to a minor position in the remote Shuo Zhou garrison. After a month of recovery, he was immediately dispatched to Shuo Zhou. Though called a minor position, Luo Shenyuan personally sent people to monitor him. Perhaps one day, if foreign tribes invaded, he would once again become the all-powerful General Lu. If not, the Emperor would continue to suppress him, never allowing him to advance.
As long as the foreign tribes were not destroyed, Lu Jiaxue would not die.
Luo Yining suddenly realized this truth. Because in this regard, truly no one could compare to him.
She thought of Lu Jiaxue’s silence, of the debt she could never repay to him. This was the last way she could help him. She hoped he would fare better at the frontier than in the capital… better than when she was with him.
To avoid implicating his family, Cheng Lang voluntarily turned himself in. The Emperor, venting his anger, had a large group of people beaten to death, but now that his anger had subsided, he became more amenable. Cheng Lang was demoted to commoner status, but he didn’t seem to mind. He followed the elder Lord Cheng to Hangzhou to engage in trade. He even came to see Luo Yining’s… child, leaving gifts for Bao’er, though all of them were thrown into storage by the child’s father, never to be opened.
Just before leaving the Northern Metropolitan Area, he brought back a three-year-old child – the one born to Lian years ago.
After seeing that child, Xie Yun never mentioned children again in public. Only she knew the complex feelings in her heart.
Since the palace coup, Luo Shenyuan now held a pivotal position in the court. However, he was now in opposition to Wang Yuan, and their struggle seemed to have no end in sight.
Lin Hairu sat behind Luo Yining, holding her hand. Luo Yining finally came back to her senses and heard her ask, “When are you going to tell him?”
“I’ll wait until he comes back,” Luo Yining said, handing the energetic Bao’er to his wet nurse. She wasn’t in a hurry at all. “It’s only been two months.”
Lin Hairu looked at her belly and sighed softly. “If another little boy pops out of your belly, Luo San is going to have a headache – another one fighting for the bed, another rascal. Girls are much more considerate.”
Bao’er, who had recently learned to talk, excitedly clapped his hands and said, “Papa! Headache!”
Lin Hairu was amused by him and tapped his forehead. “Oh my, you’re happy about it!”
Outside, the Chancellor had returned, having just dealt with Zhou Yingyou’s remaining party members. He was quite tired. After returning, Yining served him tea and chatted with him about many things. Luo Shenyuan responded to her intermittently, perhaps lost in thought. Finally, Yining said, “Oh, right, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Luo Shenyuan looked up. “Hmm?”
Finally paying attention!
Luo Yining said, “Your son might be getting a little brother or sister soon.” It had only been two months, and if it weren’t for Bao’er’s recent loss of appetite prompting her to call a doctor, she wouldn’t have known. But as she shared the news with him, the corners of her mouth couldn’t help but turn upward.
Luo Shenyuan paused for a moment before finally saying, “Oh, then have the matrons prepare some good food for you. Your diet needs to be taken care of.”
Luo Yining looked at him. “And then?”
“And then? Take good care of yourself and don’t move around too much,” Luo Shenyuan continued. He put down his book and prepared to go into the room to change clothes.
But as he crossed the threshold, he stumbled on the doorstep.
Hearing her light laughter behind him, Luo Shenyuan was initially annoyed but then began to laugh along with her.
Luo Shenyuan came out after changing his clothes. She was drinking water with Bao’er and said to him, “Father wrote a letter saying he wants Bao’er to learn martial arts at the garrison in the future…”
“Have you ever seen a Chancellor’s son become a general?” Luo Shenyuan, now in casual clothes, sat down beside her. “That’s nonsense.”
But Luo Yining leaned against his leg and closed her eyes. Luo Shenyuan still had work to do, but she said, “Ah, let me rest on you for a while. This little one kept me up all night. I’m so tired.”
Naturally, he said nothing, relaxing his body to let her lean on him.
A while later, when he looked, both mother and son… perhaps all three, were asleep. Leaning on him, peaceful.
Only then did Luo Shenyuan reveal a faint smile, looking at the large and small faces. All traces of fatigue had vanished. How wonderful it was, this quiet moment.
Outside the Luo family gate.
Someone had returned from a thousand-mile journey. While others used horse-drawn carriages, he had come by donkey cart. He jumped down from the cart.
Though his skin had been tanned dark by the sun, he still insisted on opening his folding fan to shield himself from the nonexistent sunlight. Looking at the high eaves of the Luo residence, he sighed, “Ah, becoming a Chancellor does make a difference!”
Luo Shenyuan had summoned him back to the capital for a debriefing a month ago, coinciding with a promotion, but he had only just arrived. His donkey had been temperamental on the journey.
Lin Mao’s attendant stepped forward to knock on the door. Before the servant could speak, Lin Mao laughed and said, “Open up! The great upright official has come to visit!”
Luo Yining suddenly trembled and woke from her dream.
The days ahead would be even more lively.