The curtains blocked tonight’s moonlight, darkness stretching endlessly in the bedroom, yet Lin Zhixia didn’t feel the slightest bit sleepy.

Why was that?

She seriously contemplated this question.

Perhaps because she and Jiang Yubai hadn’t seen each other for so long.

During this year they were apart, in the deepest recesses of Lin Zhixia’s heart, her thoughts of Jiang Yubai had never ceased. She often revisited memories in her dreams, immersing herself in trivial bygone events, reliving her life experiences with Jiang Yubai.

She wanted to tell him about her feelings.

She first asked: “Are you tired?”

Jiang Yubai asked in return: “Are you tired?”

“I’m wide awake,” Lin Zhixia answered honestly, “I don’t know when I’ll be able to fall asleep.”

A glass window diagonally across hadn’t been secured tightly, and the drifting night breeze blew open a corner of the gauze curtain. The moon cast a faint light, and Lin Zhixia could vaguely make out Jiang Yubai’s profile. She couldn’t help but reach behind his ear, then delicately trace his jawline.

Jiang Yubai remained silent, only adjusting his sleeping position to be closer to Lin Zhixia, facilitating her every touch.

Lin Zhixia lightly brushed his lips.

He held her fingertip between his lips.

A wonderfully bone-deep tingling sensation spread from her fingertip, extending to every inch of skin, nearly melting the bones in her palm. She immediately withdrew her hand, turned over, facing away from him, speaking only in a light breath: “No… we can’t do this.”

Jiang Yubai caught her waist with one hand: “No more playing, let’s sleep early.”

Lin Zhixia calmly recalled the details of Jiang Yubai toying with her fingers. He hadn’t made the slightest sound, yet through tactile stimulation alone had left Lin Zhixia flustered and defenseless. Suddenly, she felt somewhat defiant. She grabbed Jiang Yubai’s right hand resting on her waist, guiding him to explore upward continuously. Jiang Yubai then leaned over, his hot breath spreading on her neck, his five fingers slowly tightening, unable to restrain himself as he gripped firmly. Lin Zhixia immediately gasped: “You…”

She said, “I want to see your face.”

Jiang Yubai turned on the bedside lamp.

The light was dim, not harsh.

Lin Zhixia still wasn’t facing him. Her heart felt the burning heat from his palm, and he called her name again: “Xiaxia…”

This voice was extremely restrained.

He had not yet abandoned his goal of “abstinence”: “I’ll go sleep in the next room. Call me if you need anything.”

“No,” Lin Zhixia rubbed her cheek against the pillow, “don’t leave.”

He helplessly bowed his head against Lin Zhixia’s shoulder, hollow, time freezing in this moment. Lin Zhixia raised one hand, touched the switch, turned off the light, and the complete darkness and silence of the room fueled her audacity. She turned and straddled Jiang Yubai, feeling his bone structure by moonlight. He said, “Don’t continue.”

There was even a trace of pleading in his tone.

He said softly, “I’m going crazy.”

These four words were like disturbing, bewitching sounds that shattered Lin Zhixia’s reason. After they became adults, the Jiang Yubai that Lin Zhixia saw was always neither humble nor arrogant, neither proud nor impatient. He was lofty, ascetic, and self-restrained, never having said “I surrender,” so how could he have fallen to such a state now?

Lin Zhixia sat still: “What would happen if you went crazy?”

Jiang Yubai’s palms tightly held her waist: “Do you want to know?”

Lin Zhixia leaned against his ear, full of curiosity: “Yes, I do. I want it more than you do.”

Jiang Yubai pressed her back, easily flipping her onto the bed beneath him. He caressed her with his left hand while his right hand gripped a soft piece of leather at the headboard. His five fingers curled inward, clutching tightly like a fist, knuckles slightly whitening, veins bulging on the back of his hand, using this to vent his excess strength.

That piece of leather was torn by his right hand.

Yet his left hand was considerate and gentle.

He unbuttoned Lin Zhixia’s nightgown, then pulled the shoulder straps gently downward. Lin Zhixia’s breathing became uneven. The more excited she became, the more dazed she felt.

Jiang Yubai made an extremely long preamble, until his patience also reached its limit. He opened the bedside drawer and took out a brand-new box of protection. It was his first time using such things; his actions were particularly inexperienced, and the closer contact became increasingly cautious. He kissed Lin Zhixia’s ear while asking: “Are you ready?”

She responded with a muffled voice: “I’m waiting for you.”

The surging wave of desire struck Jiang Yubai again. He took a dozen seconds to calm himself, to cool his mind. For him, the intense stimulation of the scene before him was like a deity descending to earth, permitting a heretic to profane.

The deity’s memory was ingrained in the marrow. He wanted her to enjoy the entire process. He tried hard to suppress his physical and mental impulses, slowly and gently conquering her, but she still said: “Mmm… It’s too tight…”

Her arms wrapped around his neck, her words between breaths fragmented: “You… go slower…”

Beads of cold sweat appeared on Jiang Yubai’s forehead. He took a deep breath, following her every arrangement, as if sacrificing himself. He hoped this sacrifice would bring her pleasure.

Lin Zhixia seemed to sense this.

She lightly kissed the corner of Jiang Yubai’s lips. What was she doing? The instinct erupting from her subconscious dominated her. They kissed passionately and moistly in the darkness, emotions running so high they were bewildered and entranced. Later, they both broke through all barriers, thoroughly indulging in their exhilarating entanglement.

*

At half past four in the morning, Lin Zhixia, exhausted, fell asleep leaning in Jiang Yubai’s arms.

Jiang Yubai carried Lin Zhixia to another clean, large bed connected to the master bedroom. He tucked her in and lay beside her, the dim moonlight illuminating her sleeping face. He had fantasized about her since he was eighteen, and only in this year, at twenty-one, did he have the indescribably wonderful and ultimate experience, like a soul-stirring dream of spring and autumn.

For many years, Jiang Yubai’s daily routine had been very regular. He slept early and rose early, rarely staying up late. But tonight was an exception. He gently stroked Lin Zhixia’s hair, couldn’t resist kissing her forehead again. He remained conscious, staying awake until after seven in the morning. As the eastern sky faintly brightened, the embers of the raging fire finally faded from his heart.

Before falling asleep, he remembered to hold Lin Zhixia tightly. Sweet fragrance permeated the pillow, and he slept soundly.

*

When the sun was high, Lin Zhixia slowly awakened.

Jiang Yubai had just finished showering. He walked slowly out of the bathroom with a pure white towel around his waist, water droplets still hanging on his short black hair. A few drops fell onto his collarbone, drawing Lin Zhixia’s gaze. She suddenly recalled all the details of last night. Just as she was about to get out of bed, she felt a soreness in her waist. Having no alternative, she could only hide shyly under the covers. Jiang Yubai sat on the edge of the bed, coaxing her to come out: “Xiaxia.”

Lin Zhixia’s tone was soft: “Don’t call me.”

Jiang Yubai lifted the covers and also crawled in.

Lin Zhixia gazed at him under the covers.

She had several unhealed red marks on her body. Jiang Yubai raised his hand to touch her, and she fell back into his arms, whispering: “I liked that feeling…” She also said, “I like you.”

Jiang Yubai’s heart was about to be softened by her. He brushed aside Lin Zhixia’s long hair and responded in a low voice like sleep-talk: “I love you.”

This was the first time he had uttered these three words.

Lin Zhixia felt sweet, happy, and a bit shy. She hugged a pillow and lay back on the bed when the phone suddenly rang.

Jiang Yubai opened the bedside drawer and picked up his phone. He didn’t answer immediately because the screen showed the caller was “Big Brother-in-law.”

Last night, Lin Zhixia had informed her mother that she was visiting Jiang Yubai’s home, and because it was too late, she wouldn’t return home but would stay in a guest room at Jiang Yubai’s place.

Both Jiang Yubai and Lin Zhixia now had formal jobs. Currently, they were both self-sufficient adults. Jiang Yubai’s parents no longer restricted him, and Lin Zhixia’s mother only cautioned her to “be careful,” without ordering her to return home that night.

The only variable was Lin Zeqiu.

Jiang Yubai pressed the answer button and heard Lin Zeqiu ask: “I forgot to ask, was Lin Zhixia at your place last night?”

Jiang Yubai admitted: “She’s at my place, hasn’t gone back yet.”

Lin Zhixia sat up straight in bed, wrapped in the covers.

Jiang Yubai continued: “I’m planning to take her to lunch.”

Jiang Yubai’s tone was calm, without fluctuation, a complete contrast to last night. The illusion he inadvertently created deceived Lin Zeqiu. Lin Zeqiu thought his sister had merely stayed overnight at Jiang Yubai’s home without any serious incident occurring, after all, his sister had promised him she wouldn’t make him an uncle at a young age.

Lin Zeqiu instructed: “Put less chili in your home’s meals, and keep strawberry yogurt in the refrigerator. That’s all for now, I’m off to work.”

Nowadays, Jiang Yubai could coexist peacefully with Lin Zeqiu. He said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of Xiaxia.”

Lin Zeqiu added, “Xiaxia is the nickname our family calls her.”

Jiang Yubai had turned on the speakerphone, so Lin Zhixia could hear her brother speaking. She interjected: “Jiang Yubai will eventually be my family. He’s already my person.”

Lin Zeqiu was startled.

But he didn’t think in a crooked way, only criticizing: “Don’t talk like that, be more reserved as a girl. Alright, go have lunch, don’t dawdle.”

After hanging up, Lin Zeqiu went to work. His company implemented a “flexible overtime system,” distributing bonuses according to performance evaluations. For a substantial year-end bonus, Lin Zeqiu had been particularly diligent in writing code lately. Recalling Jiang Yubai’s words, he realized he hadn’t eaten lunch either. So he put on his coat and hurriedly went to the cafeteria.

Lin Zeqiu happened to encounter a high school classmate in the cafeteria—his high school classmate worked at the same company. The first thing this classmate said was: “Hey, Brother Qiu? Brother Qiu, long time no see, how’s your sister? Has she returned from abroad?”

Lin Zeqiu ordered a beef steak rice bowl at the cafeteria counter, accompanied by a bowl of cold vegetable salad. He picked up his tray, feeling impatient inside but still somewhat polite: “She’s back, looking for a teaching position at the provincial capital university.”

“Wow, so impressive?” The classmate blocked Lin Zeqiu’s way, “Brother Qiu, let’s have a meal together.”