On the eve of the 2002 Spring Festival, the parents decided to take their daughter and son back to their hometown for the New Year.

They departed from the provincial city’s long-distance bus station, boarded a crowded green-skinned bus, and after a bumpy journey, finally arrived at the village on the evening of the twenty-eighth day of the lunar month.

Father carried the suitcase and snake-skin bag, while Mother held Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu’s hands. The family walked quietly along the countryside dirt road. The cold winter wind blew in from the open fields, making Lin Zhixia sneeze. She said softly, “Mom, Mom, I’m cold.”

Lin Zhixia was only seven years old and had just started losing her baby teeth. She was tired, sleepy, hungry, and cold, with an ache developing in her feet. She clung tightly to her mother, who then said to her father, “I’ll take the suitcase, you carry Xiaxia. We still have some distance to walk.”

Lin Zhixia looked up at her father, who bent down and picked her up.

With her hands resting on her father’s shoulders, her view became much wider. She could see the cold moonlight spilling onto the bare rice fields, and the distant river flowing slowly. The pitch-black night seemed endless, and there were no streetlights at either end of the village lanes. Cold white, dim yellow, and warm orange light leaked through the windows of every household, creating blurry halos like colorful nebulae in the universe.

She could identify which house belonged to her maternal grandparents—the building with two red lanterns hanging under the eaves, displaying the festive atmosphere of the Spring Festival. A black Santana sedan was parked outside the main gate, her uncle and aunt’s vehicle, reportedly costing twenty to thirty thousand yuan.

Twenty to thirty thousand, that’s expensive, Lin Zhixia thought.

Lin Zeqiu suddenly blurted out, “I’m so sick of Ke Zhuangzhi.”

Just as Father was about to scold his son, Lin Zhixia chimed in, “Me too.”

Father began lecturing the children: “Qiuqiu, Ke Zhuangzhi is your cousin, your uncle’s son. He’s only eight and a half and doesn’t know better. Qiuqiu, you’re ten now, you’re a big boy. The New Year holiday is just a few days, just bear with it. Your maternal grandparents are getting old, our family needs to maintain harmony. Xiaxia, this applies to you too. I’m not criticizing you, but you need to be more careful with what you say…”

Lin Zeqiu let out a cold snort, while Lin Zhixia fired off a series of questions: “Dad, I’m even younger than Ke Zhuangzhi, my brother tolerates him, so why doesn’t he tolerate me? If Ke Zhuangzhi bullies me, should my brother and I just put up with it? If he insults us, aren’t we allowed to talk back?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Father explained.

Lin Zhixia argued logically: “My brother and I don’t want to cause trouble, but Ke Zhuangzhi often creates problems for us, and he steals my things. I won’t tolerate it, we’ll definitely end up fighting.”

Father was speechless.

Mother, however, said, “You’re a little girl, don’t fight with boys. We’ll stay at your maternal grandparents’ house for one day, then go to your paternal grandparents’ house for New Year’s Eve dinner. We’ll head back home on the third day of the New Year…”

Mother stroked Lin Zhixia’s head: “Xiaxia needs to be good.”

Lin Zhixia remained silent.

In the midst of severe winter, she wore a thick pink down jacket—her new clothes for this Spring Festival. Lin Zeqiu’s gray down jacket was the same children’s style as hers. The two jackets had cost their parents over three hundred yuan, one of the few major expenses for their family.

Father and Mother hadn’t bought new clothes for themselves. They still wore their old coats. Father’s sweater was clean, but the collar was fraying. Lin Zhixia tugged at the loose thread, and Father continued, “Xiaxia, Qiuqiu, when we get to your grandparents’ house, greet everyone politely, then go to sleep after dinner, eat and sleep, sleep and eat…”

Lin Zeqiu complained impatiently, “I’m not a piglet.”

Lin Zhixia echoed, “Exactly!”

Father gave his son a reproachful look. In response, his son pulled his down jacket hood tighter, grabbed the long strings at the edges, and tied them firmly, looking quite domineering.

*

Around seven in the evening, Lin Zhixia’s family stepped through the main gate of her maternal grandparents’ home.

Grandmother came to greet them from afar, speaking in her hometown dialect with Mother. Lin Zeqiu couldn’t understand what they were saying, so Lin Zhixia translated for her brother: “Grandmother has kept a table of food for us, we can have dinner now. I’m so hungry. Are you hungry, brother?”

Lin Zeqiu’s stomach let out a series of gurgling sounds.

Lin Zhixia immediately called out, “Let’s go, Dad, Mom, brother, let’s eat together.”

She ran through the darkness into the ground floor hall.

In the center of the hall stood a round wooden table, with a blazing stove set up beside it. Melon seed shells were scattered on the cement floor, and Uncle’s family sat around the stove. Ke Zhuangzhi was cracking melon seeds while saying, “Well, well, my cousin brother and cousin sister are here.”

Uncle smiled but didn’t stand up. Sitting lazily, he just called out, “Little sister, brother-in-law, what took you so long? Traffic jam on the highway? You could have called home.”

Aunt interjected, “Sister, brother-in-law, you should buy a mobile phone. Mobile phones are very convenient, with a full year warranty.” She pulled out the latest Sony Ericsson color-screen flip phone from her pocket, with built-in ringtones, camera, MP3, and MP4 playback functions.

Lin Zhixia sat on a chair. She turned her head and quietly stared at the phone, seemingly trying to record every detail in her mind. The phone was too expensive, while her parents were still using “Little Smart”—a simple phone that could only make calls and send text messages, with poor signal quality, but much cheaper than brand-name phones.

Ke Zhuangzhi knew that Lin Zhixia was very curious. He deliberately took out the phone, played music and videos, laughing heartily to himself. As Lin Zhixia leaned in slightly closer, Ke Zhuangzhi provoked her: “Did I say you could look?”

The stove fire made Lin Zhixia’s cheeks flush red. Her skin was snow-white, with jet-black pupils. Her eyes were large and bright, moist like a clear spring. But she and her brother were poor, annoying kids who always opposed his family—Ke Zhuangzhi thought.

Sure enough, Lin Zhixia retorted, “I don’t even want to look.”

She turned around and picked up her chopsticks.

Maternal Grandfather and Grandmother brought out a pot of rice, along with braised pork ribs, oil-drizzled chili peppers, minced meat with eggplant, and fried eggs. The aroma of the food wafted over, delighting Lin Zhixia: “Thank you, Grandfather and Grandmother.”

Mother ladled a bowl of rice for Lin Zhixia and even helped pick the meat off the ribs for her, since she was losing her baby teeth and couldn’t bite through the ribs properly. She happily mixed the pork meat that Mother had prepared into her rice, added a few spoonfuls of tomato and eggs, and enjoyed a satisfying meal.

After dinner, at around eight thirty, Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu were both extremely tired, so Mother took them to bed. They stayed in a bedroom on the second floor, which had the distinctive smell of old furniture. A wide wooden bed was prepared with bedding, but after testing it, Mother said, “This mattress isn’t thick enough, Xiaxia won’t sleep comfortably. I need to find another quilt…” She turned to Father: “Take the children to brush their teeth and wash their faces.”

Father opened the suitcase and took out toothbrushes and towels: “Come with Dad, Qiuqiu, Xiaxia.”

Lin Zhixia was the most obedient. She followed closely behind Father like a little shadow. Father looked back at her. she reached out her hand, and Father held it: “Did you get enough to eat at dinner, Xiaxia?”

“I did,” Lin Zhixia answered honestly.

Father murmured, “Next year, when we come back home, Dad and Mom will bring more snacks for Xiaxia.”

But Lin Zhixia said, “I don’t want to come back next year.”

Lin Zeqiu, brushing his teeth, mumbled unclearly, “Me neither. I get annoyed just seeing Ke Zhuangzhi. He’s showing off that lousy phone. Why doesn’t he just hang it on his forehead?”

This time, perhaps because Mother wasn’t around, Father didn’t say much. He patted Lin Zeqiu’s shoulder lightly: “Alright, Qiuqiu.” He picked up the thermos, which felt very light.

Father asked Lin Zeqiu to look after Lin Zhixia while he went downstairs to get hot water.

Soon after Father left, a door opened at the end of the hallway. Ke Zhuangzhi, dressed in pure cotton pajamas, came out swaying to use the bathroom. Catching sight of Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu, these siblings from the slums, he asked in a half-asleep state: “Who said you could stay on the second floor? Go downstairs! The second-floor bathroom was paid for by my dad. What right do you have to use it? Did you pay for it?”

Lin Zhixia was stunned.

Ke Zhuangzhi persisted, “Go downstairs and use the outhouse outside.”

Lin Zeqiu exploded on the spot: “Outhouse your head! You have the nerve to bring this up! How much money does your dad owe my mom?”

“My dad doesn’t owe money!” Ke Zhuangzhi shouted, fully awake now. “My dad is a big lawyer! What are your parents?”

Lin Zeqiu, only ten years old and in fourth grade at the experimental elementary school, had been influenced by his sister to read widely and had mastered the art of sarcasm: “Your dad is a big lawyer, so why doesn’t he have money to pay us back?”

Ke Zhuangzhi turned red with anger. He grabbed Lin Zeqiu’s collar: “Say that again, and my dad will sue you! Make you lose everything!”

“Lose everything” was an idiom Ke Zhuangzhi had recently learned from a TV drama, but his literary skills were painfully inadequate compared to Lin Zhixia’s.

Lin Zhixia said lightly, “Ke Zhuangzhi, go check the ‘Civil Law’ first, then come back to intimidate people.” She calmly held her toothbrush, squeezing out toothpaste: “You don’t understand anything.”

She didn’t even look at Ke Zhuangzhi, but her contempt was evident without words.

The bathroom’s water pipe leaked a few drops, making a “drip-drop” sound. The light bulb hung from the beam, emitting a dim yellow glow. Years of grime had accumulated in the corners, making the white walls appear blackish. Ke Zhuangzhi, not minding the dirt, kicked the wall and cursed: “You and Lin Zeqiu are both sick.”

He pointed to his heart: “Lin Zeqiu is sick here.” Then he jabbed at his temple: “Lin Zhixia is sick here!”

Lin Zeqiu had been born with congenital heart disease. His parents had spent enormous energy to cure him. Ke Zhuangzhi’s two simple sentences made Lin Zhixia burn with rage: “You’re the one who’s sick! Your whole family is sick!”

Ke Zhuangzhi’s neck turned red as he shouted back: “You’re a freak! Your family is dirt poor! Living in a garbage dump! Your brother deserves his disease!”

Lin Zhixia couldn’t take it anymore: “You’re mentally disabled! Your brain is as stupid as a pig’s! You can’t understand classical Chinese! You can’t even do four-digit multiplication and division!”

Eight-year-old Ke Zhuangzhi roared frantically: “You’re a pauper! You’re a beggar! Your whole family will die poor!”

Seven-year-old Lin Zhixia fiercely counterattacked: “I’d rather be poor than be like you—ignorant, stupid, arrogant, malicious, insidious, picky, petty, and a snobbish nouveau riche!”

Lin Zhixia’s vocabulary was not on the same level as Ke Zhuangzhi’s. He racked his brains but couldn’t match Lin Zhixia’s verbal assault, while she pressed on: “You won’t let others use the bathroom, why don’t you just sleep in the bathroom tonight?”

Before Lin Zhixia could finish, Uncle’s scolding voice came from nearby: “Lin Zhixia, shut up! How did your mother raise you?”

Before Lin Zhixia could explain, Lin Zeqiu retorted fiercely: “Ke Zhuangzhi insulted us first. How did you raise your son?”

“Ke Zhuangzhi said our family would die poor,” Lin Zhixia added a heavy accusation, “During the New Year, he curses people like this.”

Maternal Grandfather and Grandmother lived in the countryside, where neighbors were honest, hardworking farmers with little money. Ke Zhuangzhi’s “die poor” remark would surely hit everyone’s sore spot. Ke Zhuangzhi grew more frightened as he thought about it, becoming too anxious to speak. He hugged his father’s waist, crying uncontrollably.

Lin Zhixia’s parents and grandparents heard the commotion and also came upstairs.

All the lights on the second floor were turned on, the brightness suddenly flaring. Lin Zhixia covered her eyes, and Mother pulled her into her arms. She whispered, “Mom, I haven’t brushed my teeth or washed my face yet.”

Mother just stroked her head, while Aunt said, “Zhuangzhi gets along so well with other classmates at school. Why can’t he get along with your children? Whose education problem is this? The bathroom was funded by our family. It’s not illegal if we don’t let you use it, right?”

Grandfather, who had asthma and high blood pressure, leaned against the wall and said in imperfect Mandarin: “This is ridiculous… not, not letting your own family’s children use it. Is it an outhouse made of gold?”

Grandmother, while helping Grandfather catch his breath, scolded her son: “Disgraceful!”

Aunt linked arms with Uncle: “What’s going on, honey? Say something.”

Uncle forced a smile, trying to smooth things over: “Little sister, taking this to court would embarrass both our families, don’t you think?”

Silence stretched in the air.

The cold sound of water dripping from the bathroom pipes seemed to drop right into Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu’s hearts.

Father quickly pulled Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu behind him, facing Uncle and apologizing: “I’m sorry, Brother-in-law, please calm down, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. The kids are young, Xiaxia is only seven, she doesn’t know better, and she speaks her mind. Look, it’s almost nine o’clock, the children are growing. Let them sleep first. Adult matters should be handled by adults.”

Mother also said, “Brother, do you want to sue me? That doesn’t make sense.”

Uncle threw up his hands: “I don’t want to, but I’m worried about our children not getting along, causing disputes.”

Lin Zhixia wanted to speak, but Father waved her off.

Mother took Lin Zhixia’s hand to lead her back to the bedroom. Both she and Lin Zeqiu didn’t want to go, but Mother bent down and told them: “Your uncle is a lawyer, your aunt doesn’t work, they know many people, including community officers. Dad and Mom both run shops in the neighborhood, and we don’t have time to waste with them.”

“Mom…” Lin Zhixia’s voice trembled with tears.

Mother’s eyes were also red: “Mom knows you’re smart. You and Qiuqiu are good now, go to sleep. Dad and Mom are tired too.”

Lin Zhixia turned her head to see Father offering Uncle a cigarette, and even coaxing Ke Zhuangzhi. This hurt her more than if Ke Zhuangzhi had insulted her a thousand times. Tears welled up in her eyes, feeling embarrassed for herself and her brother, and sorry for her parents. She could only lower her head as tears fell one by one onto her new pink down jacket, bought specially for the New Year.

*

The brother and sister, Lin Zeqiu and Lin Zhixia, had one thing in common—if they were upset the night before, they would sleep in the next morning, and their parents had to repeatedly urge them to get up.

By ten thirty in the morning, Lin Zeqiu and Lin Zhixia finally awoke. After breakfast at their maternal grandparents’ house, they prepared to head to their paternal grandparents’ home. Maternal Grandfather and Grandmother lived in the same village as Paternal Grandfather and Grandmother, just on opposite ends—one in the east, one in the west.

Uncle (Father’s brother) arrived with a three-wheeled vehicle to pick up Lin Zhixia’s family. He also brought a bag of egg cakes he had bought at the market for Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu.

Lin Zhixia took the paper bag and said politely: “Thank you, Uncle.”

Uncle was introverted and taciturn. He had farmed all his life, treated his relatives well, and was known in the village as a kind-hearted person. The egg cakes he gave to Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu were worth 4 yuan per pound. He and his wife wouldn’t eat them themselves, willing only to share them with the Lin family children for a taste.

Lin Zhixia’s father patted Uncle’s shoulder: “Brother, you’ve lost weight.”

Uncle waved it off and invited everyone onto the vehicle.

The back of the three-wheeler was lined with straw. Lin Zhixia hugged a hot water bottle, sitting among the straw, and held tightly to her mother’s hand. She had heard that three-wheelers weren’t very safe. She began calculating the various physical states of the vehicle, paying close attention to the wind direction markers on this muddy road.

Lin Zeqiu, however, thought of Uncle Santana’s sedan. He whispered in Lin Zhixia’s ear: “How much does a Santana cost?”

“It’s very expensive,” Lin Zhixia whispered back to her brother, “Several tens of thousands.”

Her brother picked up a piece of yellow straw: “How much is a color-screen flip phone?”

Lin Zhixia’s voice grew even softer: “I don’t know.” She tried to comfort her brother: “Don’t worry about these material things, brother. We’re still young, we should first enrich our inner world…”

Her brother folded his hands behind his head. He lay against the straw, a piece of straw between his teeth, looking like a shepherd boy in the countryside.

Lin Zhixia had a sudden inspiration: “Let me tell you a story.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” her brother replied.

Lin Zhixia burrowed into her mother’s arms: “Mom, Mom, I want to tell you a story.”

Most young children like to have their parents tell them stories. But Lin Zhixia was just the opposite—she always had a lot to say and wanted to share with others. After raising her for seven years, Mother was familiar with her habits and agreed: “Go ahead, Xiaxia.”

Lin Zeqiu muttered: “Mom’s little pet.”

Lin Zhixia ignored him completely. She described to her mother the stories from “Homer’s Epics,” focusing on the wars between Greece and other countries. Before she could finish the complex war narrative, the cold wind seemed to seep into her scarf. Lin Zhixia’s cheeks turned red from the cold, and Mother tied her hood tightly, then covered half her face with the scarf, leaving only a pair of watery eyes exposed.

Father reached out to touch Lin Zeqiu’s nose: “Qiuqiu, are you cold?”

Lin Zeqiu said, “I’m not afraid of the cold.”

Just as he finished speaking, he sniffled.

Father laughed heartily. He asked Uncle to drive more slowly, then draped the family’s only cashmere sweater over Lin Zeqiu’s head—Lin Zeqiu knew this garment was precious. He held the clothes with both hands, and his runny nose stopped.

The morning sunlight was just right, though winter sunlight has a cold tone, gently enveloping an old flat house. Paternal Grandfather and Grandmother stood at the doorway of the house, waving to Lin Zhixia’s family.

The three-wheeler stopped by the roadside, and Lin Zhixia got off, hugging her hot water bottle. With her scarf covering her mouth, she said in a muffled voice: “Hello, Grandfather and Grandmother.”

Grandfather gave Lin Zhixia a red envelope, while Grandmother handed hers to Lin Zeqiu. However, Father took both red envelopes from Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu’s hands, saying: “I’m afraid you two might spend it carelessly. Mom and Dad will give you the red envelopes again tonight.”

Why would Father do this?

Soon, Lin Zhixia discovered Father’s secret.

After lunch, Lin Zhixia wandered through various rooms, bored. She happened to overhear her parents’ conversation—Mother spoke first: “How biased is your mother against girls? Every year, the red envelope money is different: two hundred for Qiuqiu, twenty for Xiaxia. We have to take the red envelopes first to make them equal for our son and daughter.”

Father sighed: “My mother just feels that we favor Xiaxia too much. She’s reminding us…”

“Xiaxia and Qiuqiu are different,” Mother argued. “Xiaxia never forgets when something happens, Qiuqiu gets over it in a couple of days. You make it sound like I haven’t taken care of our son.”

Father coughed, cleared his throat, then said: “However bad my mother might be, she at least keeps up appearances, more genuine than your brother.”

Mother was furious at Father’s words: “I have nothing more to say to you.”

Father clicked his tongue: “Then why did you agree to marry me back then?”

Mother’s voice grew quieter.

Lin Zhixia thought her mother was crying. She was very concerned about her. She knocked hard on the bedroom door, trying to diffuse the situation: “Mom, Mom, it’s me, open the door!”

After a few minutes, Father unlocked the door.

Father was over 1.8 meters tall, while Lin Zhixia was only seven, standing just 1.2 meters. She was far too short compared to her father. Father knelt to be at eye level with Lin Zhixia: “Xiaxia, you’ve had lunch, aren’t you going to take a nap?”

Lin Zhixia replied: “Xiaxia doesn’t want to nap.”

“Where’s your brother?” Father asked.

Lin Zhixia answered truthfully: “Brother is in the sheep pen catching sheep. Brother wants to pluck a bag of wool from the sheep to make a new wool sweater for Dad and Mom. I tried to persuade him not to do this, but he wouldn’t listen to me. He’s much stronger than I I couldn’t pull him away.”

Father’s face instantly turned ashen. He first rubbed his temples and let out a long sigh. Then, he put on his coat and ran toward the Lin family’s sheep pen.

*

The Lin family sheep pen was a wooden, with layers of wood covering the base, emitting the distinctive odor of sheep. But Lin Zeqiu didn’t mind the smell at all. He held a plastic bag in his left hand and scissors in his right, targeting the fattest sheep to cut off a large handful of wool and stuff it into his bag.

He was busy for a while when he suddenly heard Father calling: “Lin Zeqiu, come out here!”

The sheep made “baa” sounds, while Lin Zeqiu stood silently in place. When Lin Zhixia didn’t see her brother appear, she darted into the sheep pen—perhaps because she was so short and completely non-threatening, she successfully mingled with the flock and even hugged a pure black lamb.

“Don’t touch it,” Lin Zeqiu said, “These sheep have never bathed.”

“Then why are you cutting their wool?” Lin Zhixia questioned.

Lin Zeqiu hid the plastic bag and scissors behind his back: “What’s it to you?”

Lin Zhixia wiped her hands clean: “I don’t want to bother with you. All these sheep belong to Grandfather and Grandmother, including pregnant ewes. If you scare them, Grandfather and Grandmother will be angry, and Dad and Mom will have to pay for it.”

Lin Zhixia had used the same argument earlier to persuade Lin Zeqiu. Now, her tone was even more determined, making Lin Zeqiu waver: “I’ll use my New Year money to compensate Grandfather and Grandmother.”

Lin Zhixia countered: “Your New Year money isn’t enough to pay for it.”

She extended a hand to Lin Zeqiu.

After a moment’s hesitation, Lin Zeqiu allowed his sister to lead him out of the sheep pen.

Father stood with his hands behind his back beneath a tree with withered branches. With a serious expression and grave tone, he asked: “Lin Zeqiu, how much wool did you cut?”

Father had called Lin Zeqiu by his full name, indicating the situation was very serious.

Lin Zeqiu remained silent, and Lin Zhixia spoke up for him: “Dad, brother didn’t cut much wool, there’s just a small handful in the bag.”

Father beckoned to the siblings, and Lin Zhixia ran over with quick steps. From her perspective, she could see a black Santana parked outside the courtyard gate. She immediately hid behind Father, and from the front gate came the sound of Uncle, Aunt, and neighbors talking.

It turned out that Maternal Grandfather and Grandmother were still thinking of Mother, so they had Uncle and Aunt drive over with pickled goose, cured meat, rice cakes, red bean buns, and two fresh grass carp.

Grandmother’s rice cakes were the best in the world. She would wash the glutinous rice the night before, cook it, then pound it in a stone mortar until it became paste-like, sprinkle it with a layer of white sugar and peanuts, making it especially soft and delicious. Lin Zhixia loved them very much.

Lin Zhixia put the sheep wool incident out of her mind. She took her father’s hand, and together they walked toward Uncle.

Father exchanged pleasantries with Uncle, and the atmosphere was quite harmonious.

Seeing that Uncle had brought so many things, Paternal Grandmother promptly invited Uncle and Aunt to stay for lunch. Aunt, carrying the two grass carp, followed Grandmother to the kitchen—they left the bag of rice cakes on a small stool outside the kitchen door. The sweet aroma lingered persistently.

Lin Zhixia ran to the kitchen door, secretly squatted down, and reached into the bag with her left hand. She only intended to take one rice cake, but overheard Grandmother asking Aunt, “Did Agui and his wife come yesterday to your house…”

Lin Zhixia’s father was named Lin Fugui, and Grandmother always called him “Agui.” Although Grandmother didn’t finish her sentence, Lin Zhixia guessed that Grandmother had already heard about last night’s series of disputes at Grandfather’s house from Father.

Just as Lin Zhixia was about to interject, Aunt suddenly spoke: “My husband was in college back then, with no money. My husband’s sister sent him money, everyone in the village knows, you know too. His sister did a good deed, which is certainly good, but his sister keeps bringing it up, mentioning it several times every year. My husband and I just don’t know what to do.”

Lin Zhixia roughly guessed Uncle and Aunt’s mentality—they knew Mother had sacrificed a lot in the past. Precisely because they knew, they worried that Mother would use this kindness to demand long-term returns. Rather than prolonging the struggle, they’d rather cut off the relationship.

So that’s it, Lin Zhixia thought, this is the real-life manifestation of the proverb “A handful of rice breeds gratitude, a barrel breeds resentment.”

Aunt narrated quietly: “Last night, that child Xiaxia brought this up again, asking my son for money. My husband and I were already asleep, and the children woke us up in the middle of the night…”

Lin Zhixia angrily interrupted: “That’s not true, that’s not what happened. It was your son who wouldn’t let me use your bathroom, and he called our family beggars!”

Aunt turned around, saw Lin Zhixia, and looked embarrassed. She nodded to Grandmother, then walked past Lin Zhixia, pulling her husband out the door. She completely avoided any conflict with Lin Zhixia, while Grandfather in the main hall called out: “Why did they leave? Won’t they stay for lunch?”

Lin Zhixia, like an angry little leopard, stated directly: “I don’t want to eat with them.”

Grandfather admonished her: “Child, it’s the New Year, they are guests.”

Before he finished speaking, Uncle (Father’s brother) came over and said: “I just went to feed the sheep, and the wool on their backs has been cut.”

Hearing Uncle’s words, Lin Zhixia became even more emotional, suddenly feeling an itch in her throat. She coughed with her head down, and her parents gathered around her. Feeling wronged, she was pulled onto Mother’s lap, who hugged and comforted her.

Father stroked Lin Zhixia’s head and casually replied: “Brother, it was my child who cut the wool. I’m sorry. How much does it cost? Name a price, I’ll compensate you.”

Grandmother glanced at Lin Zhixia, while Uncle (Father’s brother) waved his hands repeatedly: “It’s nothing, nothing. It’s the New Year, family doesn’t keep accounts.”

Father insisted on giving Uncle four hundred yuan.

The Spring Festival wasn’t over yet, but Lin Zhixia only wished to go home early—back to that home with just her father, mother, and brother.

*

At four o’clock on the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, while it was still pitch dark, Father and Mother were already up.

According to rural custom, Father and Mother needed to perform the ancestor worship ceremony this morning. They would light candles, set off firecrackers, and offer sacrifices in front of the ancestors’ tombstones. Since Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu were too young, Father and Mother didn’t dare take them to the cemetery. Mother told the siblings, “Xiaxia, Qiuqiu, Dad and Mom are going with Grandfather to worship the ancestors. We’ll be back in two hours. Stay at home with Grandmother, don’t run around, and wait for us to return.”

After saying this, Mother asked again: “Do you understand, Xiaxia, Qiuqiu?”

Lin Zeqiu was fast asleep.

Lin Zhixia nodded drowsily.

Mother stroked Lin Zhixia’s hair before leaving with Father.

As the bedroom door closed with a “snap,” Lin Zhixia gradually awoke. She sat up in bed suddenly, even waking her brother: “Brother, brother, why don’t Dad and Mom take us to worship ancestors this year either?”

Her brother mumbled unclearly: “Because we’re young.”

“Why can’t young people worship ancestors?” Lin Zhixia pressed.

Her brother replied irritably: “There are ghosts in the cemetery!”

Lin Zhixia was frightened and ducked under the quilt: “Are there ghosts? Has brother seen ghosts?”

Her brother said, “If I saw a ghost, I wouldn’t be afraid.”

“Why?” Lin Zhixia dug deeper.

Her brother turned over, facing away from her: “Are you annoying or what, Lin Zhixia? Endless whys, you’re driving me crazy.”

Lin Zhixia had just woken her brother up. Acknowledging her fault, she didn’t say anything more.

She lay in bed for a while, feeling a bit hungry. She wanted to endure it, but the more she tried, the hungrier she felt. Yesterday afternoon, she had eaten many rice cakes and fried fish, so she hadn’t eaten much at dinner. Now, she was reminiscing about the taste of rice cakes, red bean buns, fried fish chunks, and braised chicken legs.

She wanted to go to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Her brother was breathing steadily, sound asleep.

Lin Zhixia quietly got out of bed. She put on her pink down jacket and tiptoed out of the bedroom.

*

Paternal Grandparents’ kitchen was located diagonally in front of the main house, separated by four meters, a small building standing alone in the courtyard. They cooked on a firewood stove, with a chimney on the roof.

Last night’s leftovers, including the fried fish, were placed on the stove counter.

Lin Zhixia mentally repeated “fried fish” while braving the cold wind, walking through the darkness to the kitchen door. Only then did she discover that there was a lock hanging on the kitchen door.

The sky was pitch-black, the winter wind bitterly cold.

Lin Zhixia sneezed.

She turned around and walked back to the main house.

To her surprise, she couldn’t open the main door either.

At first, she couldn’t believe it and pushed hard several times, but the massive wooden door didn’t budge—someone had secured the bolt on the inside.

Lin Zhixia stayed quiet for two seconds, then began frantically knocking: “Grandmother, Grandmother! Brother! Lin Zeqiu!”

Grandmother was hard of hearing, her brother was in deep sleep, her voice was weak, and her hands were small. No one responded to her knocking.

The sky stretched like a black cloth behind her. Outside the courtyard gate, occasional unfamiliar footsteps could be heard. Lin Zhixia’s hair stood on end, the cold wind making her shiver. She wasn’t even half as tall as the door.

Her stomach ached faintly, her fingers numb from the cold. Lin Zhixia was extremely panicked, but her voice became even softer: “Let me in, I’m so scared, Mom, I’m afraid of the dark, Dad… Mom…”

Dad and Mom were still at the ancestor worship ceremony and wouldn’t return for at least an hour. Lin Zhixia tried to stay calm. To keep warm, she ran into the sheep pen, crouched among the flock, and began to think seriously—why was the main door locked from inside? Only Grandmother and her brother were at home. Her brother wouldn’t have gotten up, so it must have been Grandmother who locked the door.

Lin Zhixia made two reasonable guesses.

First, Grandmother’s room was near the front door. After waking up, she noticed the door was slightly ajar, closed the bolt, and went back to sleep, not hearing Lin Zhixia’s voice.

Second, Grandmother knew Lin Zhixia had gone out. She quietly observed Lin Zhixia, silently closed the main door, ignoring her granddaughter’s cries—this assumption terrified Lin Zhixia.

Lin Zhixia couldn’t make too much noise. She had heard strangers passing by outside the courtyard and couldn’t judge their intentions. Her current situation was essentially that of a young girl left alone at home. Uncle and Aunt (Father’s brother) lived next door, but their whole family had gone to worship ancestors, so seeking help from neighbors was also impossible.

After careful consideration, Lin Zhixia determined that staying in the sheep pen and waiting for her parents to return was the safest and most reliable solution at this point.

She only needed to wait for one hour.

It was the longest hour she had experienced in her life so far.

She was like the fawn in “Bambi,” waiting in a nest made of branches, earnestly anticipating her mother’s return.

The sky gradually brightened, and the crowing of roosters penetrated the fields. Finally, the courtyard gate was pushed open, and Lin Zhixia heard familiar voices conversing. Peeking through the gaps in the sheep pen’s wooden fence, she spotted her parents and rushed toward them like a whirlwind.

Mother caught her but scolded her: “You’ve dirtied your new clothes. What did Mom say before leaving? You and your brother were supposed to stay in the bedroom! You ran out and even played in the sheep pen. How can you be so disobedient?”

Father also said, “Xiaxia can’t be so willful.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Lin Zhixia explained, “I was locked outside.”

Mother froze.

Lin Zhixia buried herself in Mother’s arms: “My stomach was growling with hunger, my hands and feet were freezing like ice. I can’t forget that feeling. I was so cold, my stomach hurt, and I was terrified. Just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt. Why am I different from others…”

Lin Zhixia was no stranger to such hardship. She clearly remembered the pain of having a fever when she was younger. She didn’t want to cry at all. But Mother’s tears fell onto her face. She took a deep breath, couldn’t catch it, and her eyes filled with tears.

Lin Zhixia, afraid of worrying her mother, told a lie: “I’m not in pain anymore.”

Mother, with reddened eyes, asked her: “Does Xiaxia’s stomach still hurt?”

Lin Zhixia nodded, then shook her head: “It doesn’t hurt.”

*

The winter that year was exceptionally cold.

On the second day of the Lunar New Year, Father and Mother took Lin Zhixia and Lin Zeqiu on their journey home. Passing by the long-distance bus station, Mother took out ten yuan and led Lin Zhixia to buy a book.

Lin Zhixia loved buying books. She chose a collection of essays called “Me and the Temple of Earth.”

After returning home, Lin Zhixia opened the book and happened to turn to a page that read: “Child, this is your sin, as well as your blessing.”

She pondered this sentence thoughtfully.

That night, Lin Zhixia took a hot bath and lay relaxed in bed.

The small bed at home was the most comfortable. Lin Zhixia covered herself with the quilt and silently made a New Year’s wish: “I want to be a strong and optimistic person.”

She continued, wishing with less confidence: “I also want a good friend.”

She described in detail: “I want to understand and support each other with my friend. That’s my New Year’s wish, I hope it comes true soon. It’s okay if it doesn’t come true…”

She said softly, “I can still get along fine by myself at school.”