Yan Shang’s quarters were empty and simple. At night, the dim candlelight quietly illuminated the young lord standing behind his desk.

His eyes were covered with white gauze, his figure lonely and thin. Yan Shang’s pale silhouette was like mist, moonlight streaming through the window, accompanied by chirping insects and a lingering chill.

Mu Wanyao was filled with burning anger, but seeing him standing there so alone and somewhat helplessly, apparently “looking” in her direction, and hearing that soft “Yao Yao” made her emotions suddenly become complex and difficult to bear.

She said: “What do you mean?”

Her words were still ice-cold, but that accusing tone had softened.

Yan Shang remained silent for a while, though he clearly understood her question.

He withdrew his previously turbulent emotions and calmly replied: “…We’ve been apart for a long time, each with our own paths to walk. Didn’t Your Highness also not wish to acknowledge our past? My reasons are the same as yours.”

The anger that had subsided in Mu Wanyao was easily reignited by him.

She laughed mockingly: “From what you’re saying, you think we’re not on the same path, that I’m holding back your career. Of course, now Yan Second Master is the renowned minister Yan Suchen, who doesn’t know his great reputation? Must feel very good, right?”

Yan Shang didn’t speak.

His face was downcast, his eyes hidden, and Mu Wanyao couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

She only grew angrier—”Where’s your fiancée? Your eyes are in this state, yet you don’t let anyone care for you? Even I, someone from your past, would ask about your eyes, yet your fiancée hasn’t appeared once from beginning to end, what’s going on?”

Yan Shang finally turned his face slightly toward her direction.

Indeed, with just one word from her, he could perceive what truly bothered her. Yan Shang spoke softly: “What is Your Highness suspecting? I am indeed getting married. But Miao Niang is from an ordinary family, unlike Your Highness. Men and women should maintain proper distance; before marriage, I won’t meet often with Miao Niang.”

Mu Wanyao: “Proper distance? When you were with me back then, eager to get into bed, I didn’t see you having such principles.”

Yan Shang’s face turned pale.

After a long while, he struggled to say: “…So, that was wrong back then.”

Mu Wanyao walked toward him, questioning him as if provoked: “Being with me was wrong, but being with others is right? Am I just a mistake in your past that you’re so desperate to get rid of? You…”

Yan Shang stepped back but had nowhere to retreat. He fell sitting down, Mu Wanyao’s hand pressed against the desk as she glared down at him. He tilted his face up, and though he couldn’t see, he could feel her presence and sense her nearly uncontrolled emotions.

Yan Shang’s heart grew more tormented.

He couldn’t help but ask: “What do you really want?”

Mu Wanyao froze.

Yan Shang: “Your Highness is so angry, could it be you want to rekindle our past?”

Mu Wanyao instantly withdrew her emotions and said coldly: “How could that be possible.”

Yan Shang paused for a moment, his fingers trembling beneath his sleeve as they pressed against the desk. Then he spoke gently, seemingly trying to convince both himself and Mu Wanyao: “Yes, I am not suitable for Your Highness. Your Highness is doing well now, having a young lord you like and being able to marry him. Your Highness will only get better.

“Although I… although I don’t deserve Your Highness’s forgiveness, I still sincerely hope Your Highness can live well and marry the young lord you truly like. I will give you my blessings.”

Mu Wanyao gazed at his jade-white face. Looking at him, she wanted to act magnanimous like him, say some pleasant words, wish him and his fiancée success and happiness. But when the words reached her lips, she couldn’t say them, couldn’t utter a single word—

Mu Wanyao’s expression suddenly changed, feeling embarrassed in this moment, realizing her own predatory ambitions.

Her predatory ambitions made it impossible for her to give him her blessing—

Mu Wanyao thought that perhaps, in the deepest part of her heart, she had never really let go.

She seemed to just be unwilling to accept it.

She seemed to just believe that Yan Shang could only love her, love her deeply.

Why would she think this way?—

Mu Wanyao became somewhat lost in thought and stopped speaking.

Yan Shang tentatively reached out, groping, and gently supported her wrist through his sleeve.

He spoke softly: “Your Highness, even though we… have become strangers, if Your Highness has any difficulties, I can still help.”

Mu Wanyao turned her head to look at him: “What, you still want to be friends with me?”

Yan Shang stiffened slightly.

After a while, he gave a bitter smile and withdrew his hand from supporting Mu Wanyao’s wrist. He shook his head and said softly: “I… I can’t be friends with Your Highness… I’m sorry, but I really can’t do it.”

Mu Wanyao looked down at him, this time not forcing him to help her. She had a sudden insight and understood Yan Shang’s current feelings—he was such a serious person.

Such a serious person, having once wholeheartedly liked a lady, to then be completely free of misgivings and be friends with that lady afterward—even for Yan Shang, it was impossible.

Mu Wanyao was stunned: “So, you just want to… forget each other like strangers on the river.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, and her heart couldn’t catch its breath at this realization, feeling despair. She had never so clearly realized that Yan Shang was truly going to walk out of her life, become part of the past… She had no beautiful memories in her past, only he was the most beautiful.

But he was trying so hard to leave.

…Just because she loved power and he loved the people’s welfare, did it have to be this way?

What was wrong with loving power? Power first, him second… but he was still second!

What was wrong with that?

What was wrong with that!—

After Mu Wanyao left like this, Yan Shang sat alone in his quarters, leaning against the wall.

He sat blankly for a long time, several times unable to control his urge to chase after her. But he forced himself not to go.

The events from three years ago made Yan Shang realize that someone like him might truly not be suitable to like anyone, to receive anyone’s love.

Long ago when Mu Wanyao joked with him, he said he didn’t value love or marriage. But he was still young then, and he actually didn’t understand that when he valued these things so little, he shouldn’t have accepted the princess’s love. His love would hurt people, miss people, abandon people…

He was only suitable to stay alone, not suitable to let any lady love him.

His love had no future.

When he pledged in his youth to speak for the common people, perhaps he had already lost the possibility of loving a lady… but he didn’t understand then. When Mu Wanyao smiled at him, he still thought he liked her. Back then, he still dared to like Mu Wanyao, to open his heart to her, to feel his heart flutter for her.

Perhaps he would have to struggle his whole life to balance his personal feelings with his greater love for the people… and these premises meant he should not delay Mu Wanyao any longer.

Marriage for him still couldn’t be with a lady he liked, it still only had the value of continuing the family line.

It didn’t matter, he wasn’t the teenage Yan Shang anymore, he understood now. So the fiancée he chose wouldn’t hold any hopes, wouldn’t have any value. He wouldn’t invest emotions to hurt anyone anymore… it was just responsibility.

Thinking about these things, Yan Shang felt even more distressed. He had been trying to convince himself, but every time he became aware of these self-persuasions, they made him feel pain. Yan Shang lay prone on the desk, quietly staying there for a long time, his shoulders tense.

He sat like this for half the night, and when he went to bed in the latter half, lying flat on the bed, he remained sleepless until dawn—

But though Yan Shang thought everything through so clearly in his heart, arranged everything so clearly for himself, when he heard from Qiu Si’s casual words that Mu Wanyao hadn’t eaten for two days, he still froze.

Now that Mu Wanyao’s identity was exposed and no longer concealed, old servants like Yun Shu naturally apologized to Yan Shang, but Yan Shang was dispirited and had no intention of punishing them.

When Qiu Si said this, she was asking Yun Shu through the window if South Yang had any interesting and tasty porridge. Because the princess hadn’t eaten for two days, everyone was very worried and trying everything to get Her Highness to eat something.

Recently, because of his eyes not improving, anything Yan Shang needed to write was dictated by him and written by Yun Shu. While grinding ink, Yun Shu heard Qiu Si say these things and thought inwardly, this is bad. Yun Shu quickly dismissed Qiu Si: “How would we know? My lord has official duties and is busy. For such small matters, just ask the servants.”

After dismissing Qiu Si, he didn’t hear his lord dictating what needed to be written. He quietly turned his head.

Seeing Yan Shang’s slightly tense jaw, Yun Shu couldn’t help but sigh inwardly, thinking his lord still couldn’t let go.

Sure enough, Yan Shang spoke: “Qiu Si… is it? Wait a moment, why hasn’t Her Highness eaten for two days?”—

Mu Wanyao not eating wasn’t too strange of a thing. In these past few years, whenever her mood wasn’t good, she didn’t want to eat. When Pei Qing heard that the princess wasn’t eating or drinking again, he racked his brains to find some delicious dishes for her. But Mu Wanyao had no interest.

This time Mu Wanyao wasn’t eating because of jealousy.

She felt very uncomfortable, and the more she thought about her marriage, the more irritated she became. She pondered about Yan Shang’s fiancée, and the more she thought, the more jealous and resentful she felt.

Feeling it wasn’t fair.

Why should she marry someone she didn’t like, and for the sake of that person’s official position; while Yan Shang could be shared by another woman.

Mu Wanyao was ultimately unwilling to accept it. After parting unhappily with Yan Shang that day, she had people investigate what was going on with his fiancée. She still held onto a hope, thinking he was just deceiving her, that he couldn’t possibly marry.

But the information Fang Tong brought back told her that Yan Shang was truly going to marry.

The other party was the youngest daughter of South Yang County’s Assistant Magistrate, and this Assistant Magistrate saw Yan Shang frequently, as Yan Shang was his superior. So this marriage was between Yan Shang and his subordinate’s daughter.

Perhaps it could help Yan Shang consolidate his influence among South Yang’s gentry, make it easier for him to serve as County Magistrate.

But would Yan Shang always remain as South Yang’s County Magistrate?

Mu Wanyao even went with Fang Tong to secretly look at Yan Shang’s fiancée Miao Niang. She sat in the wine shop, watching that young lady who came to buy wine. But no matter how she looked, no matter how much she exaggerated this lady’s beauty, she felt this Miao Niang was merely a simple, sheltered girl.

She couldn’t see what talents Miao Niang had… according to Fang Tong, this Miao Niang very likely couldn’t even read.

She couldn’t see how beautiful this Miao Niang was… she wasn’t even as pretty as the maids in her manor.

At least her temperament was gentle and kind-hearted… but this was only after Mu Wanyao tried very hard to find some merit in her.

Mu Wanyao was bewildered: “I’m really too shocked.”

Fang Tong was speechless.

Mu Wanyao said: “He was with a lady like me, but in the end wants to marry a simple girl. He makes me feel… that I and his chosen simple girl are of the same level, because we’re of the same level, he can easily transition from a princess to a country girl.”

Fang Tong struggled to say something for Second Master Yan: “It can’t be put that way… perhaps Second Master just wants to change his aesthetic preferences.”

Mu Wanyao understood even less: “Change to what preferences? He’s seen someone like me, slept with someone like me, how could he think others are better than me? The one he chose, this… really don’t know what to say.”

Fang Tong also couldn’t explain more about Second Master Yan’s aesthetic preferences, so Mu Wanyao continued to be dejected—

In the evening, Mu Wanyao lay on her bed, biting her finger lost in thought.

Outside the door came maids’ greetings, and she heard Yan Shang’s gentle voice, but Mu Wanyao only moved her eyelids slightly, still having no interest in getting up.

After a while, Yan Shang entered the room, and through the curtains, he seemed to have come to see her. He smiled as he spoke to her maids: “…Made some plain porridge, perhaps Her Highness would like to try it.”

The maids said: “Did Second Master Yan come specially to bring porridge and see our princess? Second Master is so thoughtful.”

Yan Shang said: “There are some official matters to discuss with Her Highness…”

The maids understood: “Then Second Master please sit, we’ll wait outside.”

Yan Shang’s cheeks burned hot, and he somewhat unnaturally said thanks. Those maids responded very seriously, and though he couldn’t see with his eyes, he always felt everyone had guessed his intentions and were just pretending not to know… Yan Shang’s heart beat unevenly, and his fingers resting on his knees were also rigid.

He had struggled for a long time, gathering great courage, to come see her while Pei Qing wasn’t around, to persuade her to eat properly.

He always felt guilty about whether this was appropriate… but she wasn’t eating, and he suspected he had made her unhappy.

After the maids withdrew, Yan Shang cleared his throat softly. He called out “Your Highness,” but no one responded. Yan Shang pressed on awkwardly: “It’s like this, the bandit suppression in South Yang isn’t going smoothly. Now that Your Highness has come to South Yang, the news has spread… I thought to use the news of Your Highness’s arrival to lure out those mountain bandits, at least to raid a few strongholds…”

Mu Wanyao finally spoke: “You want to use me as bait? Do you need me to walk around outside, or should I go up the mountain and let the bandits capture me?”

Yan Shang hurriedly explained: “No, no! It’s not what you think, how could I do that to Your Highness? I just meant to borrow Your Highness’s name, naturally having other ladies impersonate Your Highness… I just feared Your Highness would be displeased after finding out later, so I came to ask Your Highness if you would allow me to do this.”

Mu Wanyao said carelessly: “Oh, so you mean you don’t need me to appear at all?”

Yan Shang said: “Correct.”

He assured her: “Your Highness staying here is safest. I absolutely won’t let the mountain bandits enter here to disturb Your Highness.”

Mu Wanyao: “A plan that doesn’t need me to appear at all, why did you come rushing over to discuss it with me?”

Yan Shang’s face grew hotter.

He knew her straightforward style that disliked beating around the bush, and knew that no matter how many excuses he found, they were just cover-ups. So after being embarrassed for a long while, he squeezed out in an extremely quiet voice: “…I heard you weren’t eating, so I came to persuade you.”

Mu Wanyao became curious: “How do you plan to persuade me?”

Yan Shang said softly: “I… I made porridge, it’s a local recipe from South Yang, Your Highness probably hasn’t tried it. The taste is light, Your Highness might be willing to try it… Even if Your Highness is angry with me, you shouldn’t torment yourself.”

Mu Wanyao skipped over his unnecessary last words, only interested in what came before: “You made it yourself? Aren’t your eyes blind? You can still make porridge?”

Yan Shang became more embarrassed.

Mu Wanyao hated when he was like this, and said displeased: “Speak!”

Yan Shang said softly: “…I spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen.”

Mu Wanyao was instantly speechless.

Yan Shang with his impaired vision spent a whole afternoon in the kitchen for her to have a bowl of porridge? He couldn’t even see, yet stayed in such a cramped, poorly ventilated place… Mu Wanyao’s voice became hoarse: “Come sit here.”

Yan Shang hesitated for a moment. He stood up, groping his way, and was grasped by a lady’s hand reaching out from the curtains. His fingertips trembled slightly, but she held his hand without letting go. Yan Shang paused, still letting her grasp his hand, leading him to sit at the edge of the bed.

The bed curtains were lifted by hooks, and Yan Shang carefully sat at the edge of the bed. Mu Wanyao tidied her loose long hair and looked at him.

He naturally couldn’t see the scene before him, didn’t know how Mu Wanyao’s clothes were disheveled, with much jade-like snow-white skin showing at her shoulders and below her neck. He just sat there, smelling the feminine fragrance from within the curtains, feeling very uncomfortable. Mu Wanyao watched as he sat with his back straight, a layer of red appearing on his face.

Mu Wanyao’s eyes turned, seeing him so restrained, she suddenly felt somewhat amused.

She said: “Where’s your porridge?”

He was a bit delighted, turning his face toward her: “Will you drink it?”

Mu Wanyao: “No.”

Yan Shang: “…”

Mu Wanyao laughed with a “puchi” sound, playfully saying: “But if you feed me, I’ll drink it.”

Yan Shang froze.

His few loose strands of hair swept across his face, matching his somewhat dazed expression, and Mu Wanyao enjoyed the sight. Thinking how this person was still the same, hadn’t changed at all.

So many years had passed, how could he still have this expression of being teased by her casual words?

This made Mu Wanyao both nostalgic and sad.

After a good while, Yan Shang came back to his senses and said: “I… this isn’t proper.”

Mu Wanyao humphed, not making a sound.

And he, as if trying to please her, said softly: “Please don’t make things difficult for me, Your Highness. I can’t see, how can I feed Your Highness porridge?”

Mu Wanyao: “I see you just have no sincerity, fine, just let me starve to death then.”

She fell back as if giving up on herself, but Yan Shang caught her arm hearing her movement. He said with difficulty “I’ll try,” then had Mu Wanyao sit properly, waiting to see how he would feed her.

She was just this naughty. No matter when, she always liked to see him embarrassed—

Yan Shang was indeed inconvenienced, just taking the porridge bowl from the food box and holding it in his hands took quite some time. After scooping up a spoonful, he frowned lost in thought, wondering how to feed her. He couldn’t even tell where her mouth was…

He tremblingly held a spoon of porridge, reaching forward based on his memory…

Mu Wanyao let out a cry of distress.

Yan Shang panicked: “What’s wrong?”

Mu Wanyao: “Nothing… your hand just shook, I thought the porridge was going to drip on my hand. Startled me.”

Yan Shang pressed his lips together.

He said: “Your Highness, I cannot feed you this porridge.”

Mu Wanyao raised an eyebrow: “So you want to let me starve to death?”

Yan Shang countered: “Then do you want to torment me to death?”

Mu Wanyao was stunned: …Time was truly powerful, Yan Shang actually dared to talk back to her now.

Seeing him withdraw that trembling spoonful he had reached out. The jade spoon was placed back in the bowl, his head lowered, expression somewhat displeased.

Mu Wanyao studied him, a bit anxious whether she had truly made him angry with her teasing. Mu Wanyao knew when to stop, grabbed his hand, and coaxed him: “Don’t be like this, if you feel around, won’t you know where my face is? Look, I wasn’t intentionally making fun of you.”

Speaking thus, before he could react, she pulled his hand, placing his jade-white fingers beside her cheek. Yan Shang was startled and tried to withdraw his hand, but when his fingers touched her snow-white skin, his fingers seemed to have their own consciousness, trembling slightly but not moving away.

Mu Wanyao’s face reddened, her beautiful eyes brimming, looking at him tenderly.

He naturally couldn’t see.

Mu Wanyao pulled his fingers, letting him caress her eyebrows and eyes, she tempted him: “See, isn’t this clear now? You haven’t seen me for so long, have you forgotten what I look like? You must feel carefully, where the eyebrows are, where the eyes are… when feeding porridge, don’t pour the soup into my nose, or I’ll be angry…”

His fingers moved across her face.

He hesitated for a long time, saying: “I… I need to feel more clearly, is that alright?”

Mu Wanyao’s face grew redder, but she said very seriously: “Of course.”

So Yan Shang put down the porridge bowl, hesitantly leaning closer. He cupped her face with one hand, while the fingers of his other hand also fell on her cheeks. In his heart he condemned his obvious intentions, but he still leaned closer like this.

His fingers brushed over her long eyebrows, beautiful eyes… he used his fingers to search for the lady in his memory.

His fingers gently traced her eyes, both ticklish and light, making Mu Wanyao’s whole body uncomfortable. She looked at him, seeing him just a breath away, his brows slightly furrowed, his lips moist. He leaned so close to her, lowering his face, his hair brushing against her face.

Because he couldn’t see himself, he had no idea how intimate they were right now.

He didn’t know his effect on her.

Mu Wanyao stared at him, watching as he sometimes furrowed his brows, sometimes relaxed them. His fingers on her face were disturbing her heart. Her mind was thrown into chaos by his touch, her eyelashes flickering, her gaze fixed on his slightly parted lips… he didn’t know that if he just lowered his head, he could kiss her.

While Yan Shang was caressing, suddenly his chin was hooked. His lips were captured by someone, and in his moment of surprise, he was pushed down by Mu Wanyao—

The intimacy of lips and teeth lingered, passion and love intertwined affectionately.

Hair entangled, hearts racing.

Yan Shang was pressed into the soft bedding by Mu Wanyao, his chin hooked as she kissed him. At first bewildered and unadjusted, then falling into indulgence, followed quickly by panic, feeling it wasn’t appropriate.

He was pressed underneath, hands on her shoulders, breathless in the moment, wanting to push her away. He panted, but didn’t know that the more he was like this, the more Mu Wanyao refused to let go.

He said with some difficulty: “Your… Your Highness… Yao Yao… don’t do this… don’t do this!”

A woman’s strength ultimately couldn’t compare to a man’s; if Yan Shang truly wanted to pull away from her, no matter how forceful she was, she would have to be pulled away. But her sudden outburst had also startled him. He pressed her against his chest, supporting his upper body to sit up from the bedding, his face completely red, hair disheveled, unable to speak.

Yan Shang lowered his head, hands cupping her face, after a while squeezed out: “…We can’t do this.”

Mu Wanyao looked up at him: “Are you going to scold me?”

Yan Shang’s heart was in chaos: “You… you don’t even know what you’re doing. You’re still like a child, not mature at all…”

Mu Wanyao’s eyes misted over: “I’m not a child, I’ve matured. I’m only like this with you… if you want to blame someone, blame yourself, blame yourself for coming to see me. Why didn’t you just not care about me?”

Yan Shang was somewhat angry: “You won’t eat, how can I not care about you? You, you’re doing this on purpose… you can’t always be like this.”

Mu Wanyao didn’t say anything else, reached out and brushed below his waist, he bent trying to dodge, but had already been touched by her fingers. She said softly: “You’re clearly aroused, why do you reject me?”

Yan Shang became more confused. He really couldn’t figure out what was happening…

As the two were at an impasse, right at this moment, the always late-arriving Pei Qing’s arrival was announced by the maids from outside. Yan Shang was startled and hurriedly said to Mu Wanyao: “We’ll discuss our matter later. Don’t make trouble now, don’t let the Prince Consort notice… you’re going to be married, don’t make such mistakes again.”

Mu Wanyao looked up: “Kiss me once, and I’ll listen to you. Otherwise I’ll tell Pei Qing that we couldn’t resist and slept together.”

Yan Shang: “…!”

He was both shocked and confused by her. Feeling that after three years apart, she had become even more shameless. But Pei Qing’s footsteps were approaching, and in his confusion Yan Shang only felt that at least they couldn’t be discovered now. He lowered his head, perfunctorily kissing her lips once.

Mu Wanyao began to laugh, finally satisfied—

When Pei Qing entered, he saw Yan Shang sitting outside the bed curtains, in the posture of visiting a patient. The curtains were lifted, and the bedding inside seemed somewhat disheveled.

But the disheveled bedding could very well have been Mu Wanyao’s own doing.

Because the princess lay lazily against the pillows, her eyes misty with moisture, her lips red and soft, looking as if she had just woken up… Pei Qing was displeased in his heart that the princess had just woken up and Yan Shang had already come over.

But because the princess began to eat due to Yan Shang’s arrival, drinking a whole bowl of porridge, Pei Qing felt relieved watching this.

Pei Qing said politely: “It seems Second Master Yan should dine with us every day.”

Mu Wanyao said: “Good, let’s dine together starting tomorrow.”

Yan Shang: “…”

He said with a strange mood: “No need. My eyes are impaired, I won’t disturb you ‘husband and wife.'”

He deliberately emphasized “husband and wife,” face turned toward Mu Wanyao’s direction, as if reminding her of something.

Mu Wanyao explained: “Just engaged husband and wife, whether it works out or not is uncertain. Before marriage, isn’t it about everyone getting to know each other? Second Master Yan, don’t be polite, come dine with us. Pei Qing, don’t you think that’s good?”

Yan Shang lowered his head, speaking unhurriedly: “Prince Consort Pei would probably prefer to dine privately with Your Highness in mutual affection. Three people together would be too crowded. Young Lord Pei, don’t you think so?”

Mu Wanyao said leisurely: “If you don’t like three people, we can invite your fiancée to join us. Four people, I think that’s quite nice.”

Yan Shang warned: “Don’t involve innocent people.”

Pei Qing: “…”

He always felt these two had hidden meanings in their words, and he had become an outsider.