Son, even though you only stayed in France for a month, you’re still called a “sea turtle.”

Wah wah.

Mother Wen received news of her daughter’s pregnancy in August.

In the previous months, Si Wan had been busy with blind dates non-stop, scheduling eight in a day. The plain-looking ones were labeled virtuous, the fiery ones were called spirited, and the pretty ones were deemed fairy-like – in short, he maintained cordial meetings with young ladies from various families.

Yun Zai spent the summer at the Wen house, delighted to occupy the brother’s room for programming while seeing the Wen family brother busy beyond reason.

Zhang Sao was getting old, and Mother Wen, concerned for the elderly woman, took over the cooking, but Si Er took charge of the laundry.

One day, while Si Er was doing laundry and Si Wan finally had free time to play games with Yun Zai, the two young men were staring at the screen when suddenly there was a thunderous crash that shook their souls.

Both were startled and ran to the bathroom to find Miss Wen with an ashen face, the washing machine kicked over, and a full tub of clothes flowing out with the water – all Si Wan’s.

Si Wan was vain, changing eight outfits for blind dates, with pink lipstick still on the topmost white shirt.

Si Er let out a cold snort and walked out without looking at the two, deliberately stepping on that white shirt, his beautiful face slightly twisted.

Si Wan was embarrassed, while Yun Zai, oblivious to the danger, gently showed his fine white teeth and said: “Er Er, what’s for dinner tonight? I haven’t had Ah Heng’s lion’s head meatballs in a long time, can you make them?”

Si Er turned around, walking back while stepping on the white shirt, grabbed Yun Zai’s chin, and sneered: “Oh, want to eat my sister-in-law’s lion’s head meatballs? Fine, this lady’s in a good mood today, I’ll make them for you!”

Yun Zai was depressed.

Back then, when he wanted to follow them to France but couldn’t, Ah Heng had just said one thing: “If you dare follow us, we’ll never see each other again in this life.”

He thought about the past and smiled, saying to Si Er slowly: “It’s okay, I’ll try hard to make them divorce.”

Si Er continued sneering, glancing at Si Wan: “Please don’t, I beg you, let our old Wen family have an heir!”

Si Wan was embarrassed, walked to Si Er’s front, and took a tissue to wipe her sweat, scolding: “How old are you now, throwing tantrums endlessly.”

Si Er swatted his hand away: “Aren’t you trying to avoid me so much you don’t want to come home? Get to your room, this lady doesn’t want to see you either!”

The phone rang, and Si Er had tears in her eyes, afraid to be seen, she turned and ran to the living room to answer.

“Mother-in-law, Mom, Mom, let me tell you hahaha.”

Si Er frowned, shouting into the phone: “Yan Xi, who’s your mom!”

Yan Xi continued laughing foolishly: “It’s Er Er! Hey, I have great news to tell you.”

Si Er heard a gentle female voice cursing on the other end: “Yan Xi, you’re annoying to death.”

Si Er’s heart warmed, unconsciously curling her lips, asking: “What is it, what’s the good news?”

“Hahahahahaha.”

“Say it!”

“Hahahahahahahahaha.”

“Stop laughing, say it!”

“Wahahahahahahahahaha.”

“…Yan Xi you lunatic, speak!”

Rustling sounds, then Ah Heng grabbed the phone, speaking gently but helplessly: “Er Er? Don’t mind him, Yan Xi’s mental age is three right now.” Then, somewhat embarrassedly, she continued, “Actually it’s nothing much, just… I’m pregnant.”

Si Er was stunned for a while before reacting, extremely delighted: “I’m going to be an aunt! No, a sister-in-law, no wait, which is it, aunt or sister-in-law?”

Ah Heng chuckled: “It’s all the same, whatever love makes it, we’re all family anyway, no need to be so particular.”

Mother Wen was chopping meat in the kitchen when she heard Si Er’s words, threw down the knife, and ran to the phone: “What Er Er, what did you say you’re going to be?”

Si Er laughed: “This old lady has sharp ears, I’m going to be an aunt, you’re going to be a grandmother!”

Mother Wen held the receiver, firing questions like a machine gun: “When did this happen how many months are you feeling sick to your stomach? Can you eat properly? Can Yan Xi take good care of you? He doesn’t even know how to cook, oh my, you two troublemakers, should Mom apply for a visa now to come take care of you, huh?”

In the distance, two handsome men had thunder crashing over their heads, August frost, staring blankly at Mother Wen, no, at the phone in Mother Wen’s hand. One’s mind echoes with blind dates blind dates hurry up blind dates; the other laments divorce divorce quick divorce no wait if they divorce my nephew won’t have a father, nephew… my nephew… sigh…

Ah Heng was far away in France, one month pregnant and still had to comfort the agitated Mr. Yan and the Wen family young and old, even Grandfather was excited like he’d been injected with chicken blood, insisting on coming to France, what kind of situation was this?

Finally, after calming everyone down and hanging up the phone, she turned to see someone whose big eyes were squeezed together from smiling so much, he said: “Wife, move over, give me the phone.”

Ah Heng frowned, this person hadn’t settled down since getting the test results yesterday.

Yan Xi used his bottom to nudge Ah Heng aside on the stool, saying: “The stool is hard, be good, take our son and sit on the bed.” Then hugging the phone, he started pressing buttons.

Hello, ××? Your boy’s going to be a father, my wife is so capable, haha your wife isn’t pregnant yet haha.

Hello hello, ×××? My wife is two months pregnant, hehe, hey let me tell you, it’s not super amazing just normally amazing you don’t need to praise hehe.

Hello hello hello, my wife is pregnant Balablabala…

Hello hello, ×××? Let me tell you, I’m pregnant…

Ah Heng threw the medical book at Yan Xi.

Yan Xi paused, holding his head ouch, the person on the other end was shocked: “Young Master Yan, when did you break through medical barriers and get pregnant?”

“Pah, you’re the one who’s pregnant, I mean I have a son, my wife is pregnant haha.”

Ah Heng reached over to unplug the phone line, bringing the nose-in-the-air, arrogantly laughing Mr. Yan back to reality.

Yan Xi pouted: “Wife, what are you doing, I haven’t finished notifying everyone…”

Ah Heng closed her eyes: “I’m not having it anymore.”

Yan Xi pulled the child to sit on his lap: “Why not, I’ll buy you whatever you want to eat, you can’t have it, that’s our son, hehe, son, wahaha. Baby, I’m not bragging, but among all my brothers, which of their wives is as capable as you, of getting pregnant just two months after marriage.”

Ah Heng pinched Yan Xi’s cheeks: “Better not to have gotten married, how did your face get so thick after marriage? Aren’t you ashamed!”

Yan Xi was thick-skinned, righteous: “They can’t have babies and they’re right? Us having wahaha is the best thing in the world, what’s there to be ashamed of!”

Ah Heng couldn’t be bothered with him, and lowered her head, playing with his fingers.

Yan Xi held her hand back, looked at the digital clock, and said: “It’s time for a walk.”

Yan Xi had stayed up last night writing frantically to produce a pregnancy schedule, stipulating Ah Heng’s times for eating, sleeping, walking, resting, and drinking soup – he’d never shown such logic even in high school composition.

Ah Heng said: “I’m tired, I have work tomorrow.”

Yan Xi frowned, his slender white fingers gently massaging her forehead: “Can’t you not go?”

Yan Xi was worried about the large amount of pharmaceutical environment at the research institute affecting Ah Heng and the baby.

Ah Heng shook her head: “It’s not time for maternity leave yet, still several months to go.”

Ah Heng had other considerations – leave could be taken, but if she took leave now there definitely wouldn’t be any salary. Although Yan Xi’s leg was better, finding work was still difficult.

Yan Xi thought for a moment, held Ah Heng tighter in his arms, smiled, his eyes very gentle, patting her lightly, and said: “Sleep then.”

Ah Heng “Oh,” closed her eyes, her features showing some fatigue.

She seemed to have always been a well-behaved person from childhood, even pregnancy didn’t require much worry from others. But Yan Xi wasn’t like others, Yan Xi couldn’t handle it, normally spoiling her afraid she’d melt in his mouth, now that she was pregnant, how could you expect him not to worry?

After coaxing Ah Heng to sleep, he opened the drawer and took out an advertisement, one he’d kept while delivering newspapers, for a French oil painting exhibition’s work collection, first prize after tax would be about fifty thousand euros. But the results wouldn’t be out until next year, Ah Heng couldn’t wait, the baby couldn’t wait either.

He crumpled it and threw it in the trash bin, then rummaged through the drawer again, finding a box of pencils for sketching. The drawing board had been in the corner, almost covered in dust.

His gaze fixed, smiled, this was the only way.

When Ah Heng woke up, Yan Xi had already gone to deliver milk, leaving one bottle simmering in a small pot, and also boiled a plain egg, all for Ah Heng, written clearly in Young Master Yan’s pregnancy schedule.

At dawn, everything was quiet. She leaned on the railing, watching that pink shirt-wearing cloth shoes darting through the alley in the distance, still seeming like the youth from many years ago, tall and beautiful. Still like a child when busy holding milk bottles, but undoubtedly already a man, with the great strength to protect his wife and child.

Ah Heng ate the plain egg and left the milk.

She walked through the alley in her white coat, at the corner, Yan Xi waved from afar, shouting: “Ah Heng, leave the dirty and tiring work to others, take care of yourself and our son, understand, understand?”

Ah Heng was helpless but smiled, her eyes extremely gentle, framing eternal love in the scattered bright moments.

After delivering milk just at seven, Yan Xi returned home, hurriedly ran to the Bastille Square with his drawing board and pencils, sat on the opposite side of the symbolic July Column, and set up his easel.

People came and went, in midsummer, and the weather gradually getting hot.

This day was Thursday, and the market in Richard Lenoir Boulevard was already bustling with noise. Beside him were many vagrant-like street artists, their hair like withered grass, yet singing happy tunes. Clowns skillfully turned coins into bouquets, making bright and cheerful blonde girls laugh.

Yan Xi sat on a small stool watching people come and go, catching the spirit of several beautiful girls to draw portraits. He showed the drawings to them, those young women were simply amazed, in such a short time. They smiled at Yan Xi, asking how much it cost.

Yan Xi didn’t know the price, thought for a moment, held up one finger.

One euro.

The enthusiastic young women felt they’d found a great bargain, rushing to hug the clear-eyed young man before them.

Yan Xi was startled, smelling their intoxicating perfume, and took a solid step backward: “Farmers grow wheat, move aside, move!” If perfume got on him, it would make the pregnant woman feel sick.

He wrinkled his nose, making the young women laugh again, thinking the handsome man before them was really strange.

Yan Xi earned three euros, for three paintings.

Then, he continued drawing, continued selling, feeling money came so easily, not thinking at all about what such meager profits meant.

Then, he got beaten up.

At sunset, when packing up, he was cornered in Perfume Alley by three French men who also drew sketches and got thoroughly beaten. They grabbed his hair, saying: “Little bitch, this is just a welcome gift.”

Perfume Alley was full of beautiful perfume shops, midnight blue, clear azure, and rosy pink, the bottles graceful and alluring.

Yan Xi knelt in the corner for a long time before getting up. His nose was bleeding, these scumbags.

When Yan Xi stood up, he stood before the perfume shop’s glass window with his drawing board, silently looking at the room full of noble elegance.

The beautiful, stylish shop owner asked him what he wanted with mocking eyes. He clutched the few meager coins in his hand, thinking how nice it would be to buy Ah Heng the world’s best perfume. But when he opened his mouth, what came out was: “Portrait, want one?”

He wiped away his nosebleed, took out his pencil with dusty, dirt-covered hands, and drew her features neatly and attentively. The sunset slanted, warming his black hair in the daylight, his back straight and proper.

The shop owner looked at the drawing he handed over in surprise. She smiled, asking him: “How much do you want?”

Yan Xi thought for a moment, hesitantly speaking: “One euro.”

The shop owner smiled: “No wonder you got beaten up, they all charge ten euros. Are you very short on money?”

Yan Xi spoke with gestures: “Wife, pregnant, baby, need money, grow up.”

She pointed to the help wanted ad in front of the store, saying: “If you help me design perfume bottles, I’ll give you ten percent of the profits, how about that?” The female owner smiled, “I’ve never seen a father like you, a father who’s like a child.”

Yan Xi found a job.

Ah Heng’s due date was March of the next year. In November, the research institute made corrective earplugs, using Yan Xi as a guinea pig, restoring fifty percent of his hearing, with good results.

Ah Heng was relieved, quit her job, and went home to rest during pregnancy.

Edward questioned, watching with amusement: “Can this useless man support you, Winnie?”

The child in Ah Heng’s belly fidgeted, kicking mom several times, indignant on behalf of Dad. Ah Heng stroked her belly, very gently: “Little darling, it’s okay, this uncle’s brain lacks oxygen, we won’t stoop to his level.”

Yan Xi called the child “wahaha,” Ah Heng thought it strange and chose something else.

Edward remembered something else and shrugged: “Winnie, next year you’ll need to make a choice, either complete your studies and return to China or stay working at the research institute. The board says if you stay, they might consider giving you an office.”

Ah Heng lowered her head, thought for a moment, and said: “Let me think about it some more.”

Edward raised an eyebrow: “I suggest you stay, no place has more medical resources than here.”

Yan Xi bought a lot of toys, and besides drawing designs, just sat beside Ah Heng, ear pressed against his wife’s belly, chatting with Comrade Little Yan every day.

Things like “wahaha can you hear daddy talking hmm baby”; or “Bad kid don’t kick mommy or daddy will spank you for showing off”; or “Daddy bought you a toy gun that looks just like an AK-47 do you like it haha I knew you would”; or, poking, “hey wahaha are you a boy or a girl are you a boy quick say it or I’ll spank you”; finally, nuzzling his head, adding “oh baby daddy loves you the most haha loves you most in the world.”

Ah Heng was depressed, looking at Yan Xi’s fluffy head in front of her belly, about to get prenatal anxiety.

She said: “Get far away, don’t let me see you.”

Yan Xi tearfully: “What’s wrong wife wife wife, just talking to our son a bit.”

Ah Heng angry: “Yes yes, your son, your most loved in the world son. If it’s a girl, you’re planning to throw her away, right? Yan Xi, you’re something else, how did I never notice you were so strongly biased for sons over daughters?”

Yan Xi stayed calm, waving a flag: “Love daughters, definitely love daughters, daughters only! Baby first, daughter second, son last, hurrah!” Then turned around, grunt-grunt packing up bedding, basin, towel, and toiletries, along with the big bag of toys bought for wahaha.

Ah Heng was shocked: “What are you doing?”

Yan Xi glanced over: “Your due date is the day after tomorrow, need to go to the hospital early, otherwise we’ll be in trouble then.”

Ah Heng sighed, headache: “Can’t you settle down? It’s still early. I know my own body, put the bags back.”

Yan Xi shook his head: “Mom said to go to the hospital early, Mom said preparing early helps with natural birth, Mom said as a father I need to always be at the front line.”

Ah Heng headache: “Which mom, your mom or my mom?”

Yan Xi stuffed toys in forcefully, and said: “Our mom.”

Ah Heng glanced at him: “Move your hands.”

Yan Xi guilty, continued stuffing.

Ah Heng tugged his ear: “Never seen a father like you, buying toys for your son and getting something for yourself too, right?”

Yan Xi played innocent: “No, they said PSPs were on a big sale, I just mainly well happened to buy one for my son…”

Ah Heng gritted teeth: “If your son can play PSP right after being born, you better be prepared to be a father to a monster.”

Suddenly, Ah Heng’s hand loosened, her face turning pale.

Yan Xi was greatly startled: “Ah Heng, what’s wrong?”

Ah Heng held her belly, sweat on her forehead, saying softly: “No good, Yan Xi, I think I’m going into labor, let’s go to the hospital.”

Yan Xi Ah, carried the bags and Ah Heng, rushed out.

Had Yi Su help call a taxi, Yan Xi cursed Paris traffic the whole way in Beijing dialect plus French and English, cursing it to hell.

“Damn what broken Paris, so many cars on the main road!”

So, Mr. Yan, where else would cars be if not on the main roads? Having people rocket to main roads would make them sparse. It’s like the whole world owed him for his wife having a baby, typical idealism.

Upon entering the delivery room Ah Heng started screaming, labored all afternoon plus night still hadn’t delivered, instead her voice got weaker and weaker.

Yan Xi stood outside the delivery room, spinning like a top.

The nurse carried out a basin of bloody water, Yan Xi almost couldn’t breathe, and he asked: “How’s my wife?”

The nurse rolled her eyes: “Don’t rush, just a difficult birth, you Chinese people are always trouble giving birth.”

Suddenly Ah Heng raised her voice in the delivery room, like a final burst of energy, calling out “Yan Xi” once.

Yan Xi heard, tears instantly came out, directly charging toward the delivery room.

Two nurses pushed him out, Yan Xi was dazed, also urgent, reached back for his bag, pulled out the AK-47, and said in Chinese: “Nobody moves, let me in!”

Patients and staff in the hallway all ducked down scared, holding their heads, two nurses screamed, shrinking to the side.

Yan Xi pushed open the delivery room door, seeing blood everywhere, all Ah Heng’s blood. Two doctors were helping massage Ah Heng, her lips already bitten bloody, looking barely alive.

He walked to the bedside, holding back tears, voice hoarse calling: “Ah Heng, I’m here, look at me.”

Ah Heng blinked her eyelids, opened her eyes, and held his hand. She looked at him, her forehead hair already soaked with sweat, and smiled slightly, weakly stroking his head: “This is a sterile delivery room, get out, Yan Xi.”

Yan Xi wiped tears: “Anyway if anything happens to you I won’t live long either, who cares what room it is!”

Ah Heng helpless, biting her lip said: “You want to die but I’m not ready to die yet.” The doctor pushed once, and Ah Heng felt all her bones displaced, screaming in pain.

Yan Xi extended his arm to Ah Heng’s lips, letting her bite.

She clutched the bedding, Yan Xi’s arm bled, at first felt pain, later went numb, watching Ah Heng, his eyes severely swollen red, he said: “If you die I won’t live either, don’t you most like hearing me say I love you? I love you, Wen Heng, I love you.”

He muttered: “I just got a family, if you destroy it, let’s go together.”

Finally, the doctor shouted: “Why so much talk? The baby’s head is out, stop talking, giving me a headache!”

Yan Xi startled, began shaking Ah Heng hard, Ah Heng’s left-hand fingers dug into Yan Xi’s arm, and one scream, the baby’s weak cry came out.

Yan Xi collapsed on the floor.

In April 2008, Ah Heng finished her month of postpartum care and took a plane back to China with Yan Xi, plus one big-eyed baby.

Reason: Illegal possession of toy guns, seriously disturbing social stability, deportation.