Ah Heng felt she had a dream.

It seemed to be the past, yellowed with age.

She had been sick for a long time, actually just a small cold, but it dragged on, abruptly stealing away her vitality.

Moving back to the Wen family took only two hours. Belongings, books, the cactus she had always kept – those things changed locations.

It seemed like returning to how things were when she first arrived in B City.

Mother and Si Wan sat by her bedside, keeping her company, saying many things.

Mother said: “You don’t know, your brother was such a handful when he was little, always climbing trees, wearing the small helmet your father had custom-made for him. You could see that melon head in the trees from far away.”

Ah Heng coughed lightly, then smiled: “Mom, I was such a dull child, adults would often put me on stage, and I’d do those simple children’s dances – clapping hands, stomping feet – to attract tourists.”

Si Wan stroked her hair, dimples showing as she smiled: “Ah Heng when you’re better, our whole family will go skiing in Switzerland. The banks of the Zurich River are most beautiful this time of year.”

Ah Heng’s eyes softened: “Okay when I’m better.” Then, drowsy sleep without day or night showed no sign of ending.

Grandfather invited many famous doctors, exasperated, not understanding why a small cold had dragged on for a whole month.

Those people all said different things, finally, only one old Chinese medicine doctor said eight characters: “Heavy with worry, heart ailments are hard to cure.”

She was very tired, coughing constantly, and smiled: “A heart ailment isn’t an illness, I’m just a bit sleepy.”

Mother placed Z University’s acceptance letter on her desk, looking at her, the character for “joy” hidden for so long, unspeakable.

Many emails piled up in her inbox, from America. Delete, all deleted.

Si Er secretly crept to her bedside late at night, eyes so stubborn, sneering: “I don’t pity you, I look down on you.”

She was drowsy, rubbing her eyes: “Er Er, I’m very sleepy let me sleep a bit more.”

Vaguely, there was a pair of large hands, warm palms, rough fingerprints, and the smell of seawater: “Ah Heng, are you this sad, do you want to cry?”

She thought, Dad, even you’ve come back.

Then, she fell back into dead silence.

When Ah Heng truly opened her eyes, it felt like another world. Beside her sat Fei Bai in white, head lowered reading a book.

This person, they shouldn’t have met.

Self-mockingly, indeed, time waits for no one.

She smiled: “Fei Bai, I had a dream, in the blink of an eye, two years have passed.”

Gu Fei Bai said: “You’ve been slacking off for several days, Christmas is already over.”

She tried to stand up holding the bedpost, but her arms and head hurt badly.

Gu Fei Bai frowned: “Don’t move around, the doctor said you need rest, it’s fortunate you don’t have a concussion. The university has already arranged leave for you, Uncle will come to see you soon.”

Ah Heng’s legs were a bit stiff, sitting back on the bed edge, clicking her tongue: “When did Uncle Gu return?”

“The second day you were hospitalized, drove back in a military vehicle at 200 kilometers per hour,” Gu Fei Bai said flatly while massaging her legs.

Ah Heng lowered her head in repentance: “I was wrong, I’m a sinner.”

His fingers stiffened slightly, glancing at her: “You saw everything that day, didn’t you?”

Ah Heng: “What, what did I see?”

“I told you before, I have a childhood friend, that’s Du Qing Qing.” He paused, expressionless.

Ah Heng pulled back her legs, smiling cheerfully: “Fei Bai, right now, I don’t want to talk about this person.”

Gu Fei Bai’s face was taut: “I’ll only explain once, there won’t be another chance.”

Ah Heng sniffled, patting the bed: “Today I just won’t listen!”

Gu Fei Bai’s face turned white with anger: “You…”

She put on a stern face to intimidate him: “Gu Fei Bai, do you remember what that fortune teller told me before?”

Gu Fei Bai was stunned, thought for a moment, then said: “Ice person moon lady, one north two south, two south wonderful kindness previous fate, one north meets loneliness later crisis, is it this?”

Ah Heng buried her face in her palms, giggling: “That’s the upper hexagram, there’s still twenty characters in the lower hexagram: Clear harmony without heart, bright indulgence two thoughts, bright brings fortune wisdom longevity, indulgence brings lonely wandering half-life seeking.”

Gu Fei Bai saw she wasn’t angry and breathed a sigh of relief.

She smiled: “People live longer when they’re understanding, don’t they? You don’t know how terrifying it is to feel life slowly flowing out of your body. So, some things don’t need to be said now, I can still process it.”

The hospital room door was pushed open, and a tall man with spots of white hair entered. His eye sockets were deep, and he carried a heavy tobacco smell.

“Uncle Gu.”

The man saw Ah Heng, his eyes lighting up with joy: “Girl, you’re finally awake. Fei Bai, did you call the doctor? Have them give Ah Heng a complete checkup.”

Gu Fei Bai spoke flatly: “Though her scalp was cut, her brain hasn’t gotten any smarter; though her arm is broken, I watched her while she slept, there shouldn’t be any problems.”

The man laughed and scolded: “Damn it, looking after your wife is such a burden to you? Is it just two days without sleep? When I was on missions, I’d go several days and nights without sleep, when did I ever act like you? Shouldn’t have let your father raise you, if you’d been with me in earlier years, you wouldn’t have this sour scholarly air.”

Gu Fei Bai looked straight ahead, serious: “The key is I stay up day and night, but see no gratitude.”

Ah Heng tilted her head, and smiled, stuffing the pillow in his face: “I’m grateful to you, I’m incredibly grateful, how about I repay you with myself?”

Uncle Gu laughed: “This thanks isn’t sincere, being our family’s daughter-in-law is already set in stone, this girl is too crafty.”

Though they were joking around, Uncle Gu still had the young man personally go to the medical office to discuss Ah Heng’s condition and discharge date with the doctor.

Uncle Gu hadn’t returned from the military for a long time and chatted with Ah Heng for a long while about family matters – whether Gu Fei Bai bullied her, if she had enough money, if studies were difficult, if they were difficult then she shouldn’t work part-time… His words were indirect but clear – the future Gu family daughter-in-law being so poor and frugal didn’t look right. These words had likely come from Gu Fei Bai’s parents.

Ah Heng nodded: “I understand.”

Uncle Gu sighed: “Actually you don’t need to mind spending the money I send you, those…”

He stopped mid-sentence.

Ah Heng seemed to remember something, and lowered her head, some words still needed to be said: “Uncle, have you been in contact with my mother and grandfather?”

“Yes, your mother and grandfather are both well, don’t worry.”

Ah Heng’s forehead broke out in a light sweat, her voice getting smaller, but her tone serious: “Uncle, I knitted a sweater for my grandfather, and a shawl for my mother, could you…”

The man patted her shoulder, helpless, letting out a long sigh: “Alright, I’ll add them to the New Year’s gifts I prepared for your grandfather, send them together. Ah Heng, don’t blame the Wen family for being harsh, there are some things a child like you can’t understand, when you’re older, you’ll understand.”

Ah Heng raised her head, looking at the white, hollow ceiling, smiling meaninglessly: “I ran away myself, I was afraid I couldn’t sleep well at night, afraid I couldn’t be righteous, afraid of… paying with my life.”

No blame to others.

No blame on the Wen family.

B City.

Yan Xi stamped his feet, brown boots leaving footprints of varying depths in the snow. He knocked on the van’s window, in the misty breath someone pushed open the window and poked out their head, seeing this youth, puzzled: “Yan Xi, why aren’t you getting in the car, aren’t you the most afraid of cold?”

Yan Xi lifted his head slightly, and smiled: “Chu Yun, can you help me with something?”

Chu Yun was startled: “Tell me what first.”

Yan Xi said: “Nothing much, just have a meal with me on New Year’s Day, and if anyone asks about our relationship, just don’t deny whatever I say.”

Chu Yun realized: “Oh, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend.”

Yan Xi’s eyes curved: “This girl, so clever.”

Chu Yun’s eyes rippled with moisture, resting her chin on her hand: “Why should I? I’m an unmarried lady, getting involved with you, and my reputation would be ruined.”

Yan Xi: “Chanel winter collection, Fendi handbag, deal or not? If not I’ll find someone else.” He turned, taking a large stride with his long legs.

Chu Yun: “Hey hey hey, Mr. Yan, how can you not understand humor, it’s just a meal, friends should help each other through thick and thin.”

Yan Xi sighed and smiled, turning his face, black and white eyes clear under his scarf: “Chu Yun, you are the ultimate opportunist, just the other day someone told me to watch out for you and said you’re too shrewd.”

Chu Yun brushed her black hair, blinking: “Am I not shrewd?”

Yan Xi looked down on her: “Actually, I always thought you got by on your face and 36Ds.”

Chu Yun fake smiled: “DJ Yan flatters me, how can I compare to DJ Yan’s true talent? You never rely on that face of yours, can’t be mentioned in the same breath as us who get by on our chests.”

Yan Xi: “Are women’s tongues all this poisonous these days?”

Chu Yun held her forehead: “Do you understand women? Don’t glare at me with those big eyes, fine, let me put it another way – have you ever interacted with girls your age, liked someone, kissed someone, watched over someone, or experienced heartbreak?”

Yan Xi took out his phone from his thick pocket to check the time, calmly changing the subject: “Almost time for the show, I’ll go first. On New Year’s Day, I’ll pick you up by car, at ten o’clock, looking forward to Anchor Chu’s beautiful appearance.”

January 1st.

When Yan Xi’s sports car drove into the compound, Chu Yun started screaming: “Ahhhhhhh, Yan Xi, why are we coming to a place like this for dinner? Isn’t this… isn’t this where I interviewed those military officials last time?”

Yan Xi: “Who did you interview last time?”

Chu Yun bit her nail: “Xin Yunliang, Sun Gong, Yan Qin over long-distance, and, uh, Wen Muxin.”

Yan Xi: “Oh, we’re going to Wen Muxin’s house for dinner.”

Chu Yun: “Please don’t tell me you’re related to Wen Muxin.”

Yan Xi shook his head lightly: “I’m not.”

Chu Yun patted her chest in relief.

Yan Xi: “I’m Yan Qin’s grandson.”

Chu Yun continued screaming: “Ahhhhhhh, where are all those paparazzi? Usually, they stick to me closer than super glue when there’s even the slightest movement, why couldn’t they uncover such a huge bombshell—”

Yan Xi hit the brakes, looking at the white building ahead, narrowing his eyes: “We’re here.”

Chu Yun was very disturbed: “No need to tell me, I came here for the interview last time. Yan Xi, I should leave, I offended their daughter last time, coming now isn’t asking for trouble?”

Yan Xi smiled: “What did you do to Wen Si Er?”

Chu Yun tearfully: “I just said she looks so fierce, nothing like her mother.”

Yan Xi closed the car door and pulled out the key, looking down, speaking calmly: “What’s there to be upset about? It would be strange if she did look like her.”

He hadn’t been here for nearly two years. When returning home, he’d rather take a big detour than pass by the Wen house.

On Christmas Day, when Wen Si Wan called, he hung up. She called again, he hung up again, she kept calling, finally annoyed, he answered: “What the hell do you want?”

Wen Si Wan said: “Yan Xi, my grandfather wants you to come to our house for New Year’s dinner.”

“I’ve said I never want to see anyone surnamed Wen again in this life.”

Wen Si Wan was silent for a few seconds, then spoke softly: “Not just you, but also Lu Liu, Da Yi, and Sun Peng.”

“So what? Big reunion? Sorry, you’ve got the wrong person.”

That person paused, her tone turning cold: “Then take back what you forgot at the Wen house. If possible, bring a woman, I don’t want to see my mom sitting on pins and needles.”

Forgot at… the Wen house? He didn’t know what.

Chu Yun tugged at his sleeve, muttering: “Hey, is it okay for me to go? Oh God, you’re making me deceive revolutionary elders, I don’t dare…”

Yan Xi twitched: “Chu Yun, can you act more innocent? Chanel, Fendi, one two three, stand straight, poise!”

So, someone assumed a Guanyin saint pose, smiling like a spring breeze.

After ringing the doorbell, it took a while before someone opened the door – it was Si Wan. Beautiful features, clear eyes, still the same as before, not much changed.

Seeing Yan Xi and Chu Yun, she put her hands in her pockets and nodded, stepping aside: “Come in. Miss Chu, right? We met last time, please come in.”

Yan Xi changed his shoes, took off his scarf, and draped it over his arm, with Chu Yun following behind, walked in.

The living room was still as lively as usual, the elders playing Chinese chess, the young people playing mahjong and counting points, in the kitchen, the unclear voices of women talking, presumably Mrs. Wen and Sister Zhang.

Yan Xi felt dazed as if nothing here had changed.

Chu Yun poked him: “Hey, why are you gripping your scarf so tight? It’s almost torn.”

Yan Xi looked down, the sunflower was no longer clear, but its bright color was more embarrassing than memories.

“Yan Xi’s here.” Lu Liu smiled, pushed away his tiles, and came over, seeing Chu Yun, his expression cooled three degrees, “Miss Chu, this is?”

Yan Xi said: “Oh, forgot to tell you all, Chu Yun and I are dating, since everyone’s here, brought her for you to meet.”

Sun Peng turned a tile, smiling ambiguously. Xin Da Yi directly jumped up from his chair, eyes widening a full circle.

Chu Yun said nothing, smiling shyly and appropriately.

Old Mr. Wen and Old Mr. Xin stopped their movements and stood up, examining this girl.

Old Mr. Wen asked Yan Xi gently: “Does your grandfather know?”

Yan Xi shook his head, responding appropriately: “Haven’t had the chance to tell grandfather yet, wanted to let Grandfather Wen and Grandfather Xin see first.”

Old Mr. Xin nodded: “She’s a clever girl, very good.”

After that, there was nothing more to say.

The younger group, each harboring their thoughts, also kept quiet.

Suddenly, the atmosphere became somewhat awkward.

Mrs. Wen heard Yan Xi’s voice and came out from the kitchen, looking at him, her eyes reddening: “You child, this child, how come for so long, you haven’t…”

Yan Xi hugged Mrs. Wen, smiling: “After starting university, took some part-time work, and often couldn’t find time to visit Auntie.”

Mrs. Wen nodded saying: “Auntie understands, Little Xi has grown up, starting to be sensible, that’s good.”

Turning her eyes, she focused on Chu Yun, seeing this girl’s bright features, lively and spirited, completely different from… her. She thought Yan Xi must have moved on, the burden on him must have lightened considerably, and warmly held Chu Yun’s hand asking various questions.

Si Er sat at the mahjong table, and coldly called out: “Mom.”

But Mrs. Wen seemed not to hear, appearing to like Chu Yun very much, busy entertaining her.

Si Er stood up and glanced at Yan Xi, and the woman beside him silently went upstairs. This Yan Xi, this mom, none were like the ones she knew.

Si Wan replaced Si Er, continuing to play mahjong with the three others, the hustle and bustle restored the lively atmosphere as if nothing had happened.

Yan Xi sat watching TV with Chu Yun, Chu Yun whispered: “You knew Lu Liu and the others from before?”

Yan Xi made a sound of agreement, commercials were playing on TV, but he was watching intently.

This girl felt something hard under her, stood up, turned out she had been sitting on a blue shawl, with delicate stitching, giving a clean and gentle feeling. She felt that as Yan Xi’s girlfriend, to deserve the Chanel and Fendi she must flatter, and put on a smiling face: “Auntie, your shawl is so beautiful, where did you buy it, you have such good taste.”

Mrs. Wen glanced at it, speaking lightly: “A friend brought it, not worth much.”

Yan Xi narrowed his eyes, his fingertips stiffening, wanting to touch the shawl, but Chu Yun had already handed it to Mrs. Wen, leaving him grasping only air.

During dinner, the group of young men, to amuse the elders, acted foolish or well-behaved as needed, saying whatever would please their ears.

Chu Yun was clever, following the old gentlemen’s interests in talking about the Korean and Vietnam battlefields, recounting episodes that stirred the blood, the two elders were plied with quite a bit of wine.

Old Mr. Wen’s face reddened, more genial than his usual stern self: “Very good, this girl is better than our girls, very thoughtful in speech and action, Little Xi has good taste.”

Yan Xi expressionless: “Yes, very good very good.”

But Si Er interrupted Yan Xi’s words: “Grandfather, how am I not as good as Anchor Chu?”

Mrs. Wen patted her: “Adults are talking, what’s a child butting in for, eat your food.”

On the table was a dish of braised pork ribs, Yan Xi took a bite, slightly frowned, and then put it down.

They had all drunk quite a bit, exchanging cups, with youthful spirits, always needing to compete for superiority.

Yan Xi made an excuse to escape outside for air.

By the withered tree branches, that window was tightly closed. He had once raised his head, day after day, shouting, as if, the next second the window would open, a head would peek out, lying on the windowsill, smiling warmly: “You, eaten, yet, Yan Xi?”

Except for his name, that person, however strong, never spoke a complete sentence.

Looking up again, but never again… such a person.

After the wine’s effect dispersed, Yan Xi walked back. Chu Yun saw him, her smile instantly becoming relaxed. She leaned to his ear, speaking softly: “Where did you go?” Seeming to use the wine as an excuse, suddenly becoming much much closer.

Yan Xi smiled: “Just went for a walk, don’t drink too much, I won’t be responsible for dragging you home later.”

She held his arm, small and cute, shaking her head: “No problem no problem, I can stick to you.”

So, this scene, again fell into someone’s eyes.

Si Wan stood up, sighing slightly as she spoke: “Your things are upstairs, Sister Zhang almost threw them away as trash the other day.”

Yan Xi looked at her, and said: “I’ll go with you to get them.” Behind him, the drunk Miss Chu followed step by step.

That room once hidden in the tree’s shade, turned out to be so clean and tidy. Every book on the desk was tucked so neatly. The cactus on the windowsill, after years, of growing indoors, was in a verdant state.

How different from when he returned to China, to the Yan family’s white building, empty of people.

Si Wan took out a square paper box from the cabinet, and handed it to his palm: “I only discovered when I opened it, it’s… your things,” she narrated gently.

But Chu Yun curiously looked at this room: “Whose room is this, why is there nothing except brushes, ink, paper, and inkstone?”

Nothing at all.

Si Wan smiled: “She didn’t like things other girls liked.”

But Yan Xi hugged the box, leaving deep impressions, lowering his head, light and lifeless, voice turned to ash: “How do you know?”

Si Wan turned her face away, lips pale.

Inside the room, suddenly the phone rang.

2:00 p.m.

It only rang once before Si Er in the opposite room answered.

Due to the heating, both rooms had their doors wide open for ventilation, through the opposite door one could see Wen Si Er’s expression was very flustered as she answered the phone.

She said: “Why did you call here, didn’t I tell you to call my mobile?”

She said: “Good, everyone’s good, you saw the interview, yes, he’s very robust.”

She said: “Alright alright, I’m very busy now, hanging up first. Oh right, don’t send those things next time, they’re so cheap, they won’t use them.”

She said… she wanted to say more but was tightly grabbed by the wrist, turning around, it was Yan Xi.

That youth breathing heavily, big eyes staring hard at her: “Give me the phone!”

Si Er said: “Yan Xi, are you crazy, it’s my classmate’s call.”

Yan Xi gritted his teeth: “I’ll say it again, give it to me!”

Si Er was shocked, looking at him, pupils constantly contracting, all tension straining the nerves.

Finally, she let go.

He put the receiver to his ear, black hair covering his eyes. After a long while, expressionlessly put down the receiver.

Scattered on the ground was that square box.

A painting called “Morning Sun.”

A pair of very clean white canvas shoes.

Long, long ago, wearing these shoes, and holding an umbrella, he walked to her side when she was lost.

“Ah Heng, I’ll take you home.”