Ah Heng sat in the thirty-yuan-per-night hotel room, only now realizing she was hungry.

Looking around, there was a large coat, a suitcase, and the hundred-some yuan she’d saved up these days – nothing more.

The room was simple, or rather, shabby. Besides a bed, a lamp, and an old television with peeling paint, there was nothing else. Of course, what more could you expect from a basement hotel costing thirty yuan per night?

After putting down her luggage, her stomach started growling. Ah Heng sighed – indeed, people need iron and rice needs steel; having food was what mattered. Thinking about feelings just wore out your brain.

She put on her coat, closed the door, and locked it.

In the narrow, dark hallway, several drunk men were conversing rapidly in southern accents, their words filthy and unbearable, the air thick with choking smoke.

Ah Heng turned up her collar, burying her head in her coat to avoid these men, keeping her head down as she quickly passed by them.

As she passed, one of the taller middle-aged men looked her over with inappropriate eyes and spoke in broken Mandarin: “Little sister, how much for one night?”

Ah Heng turned her face away and walked past silently.

At the front desk, the service girl who had checked her in was applying lipstick in front of a mirror. Seeing her, the eyes heavy with eye shadow left the mirror’s surface and broke into a smile: “Student girl, don’t mind those people. If you need money, sister can introduce you to some good opportunities.”

Ah Heng avoided looking at the woman’s face, mumbled a greeting, and pushed open the glass door to leave.

Outside, it was still snowing.

Ah Heng shivered, stuck her hands in her pockets, pulled up her hood, and walked toward the small supermarket nearby, facing the snow.

She bought two cups of instant noodles, and when she reached the checkout counter, remembered something. She went back and took a bottle of beer, holding it close, feeling slightly more at ease. She glanced around and saw a nearly expired cream cake. Her heart turned sour, and after hesitating for a long while, she picked it up too.

When she left the dormitory, although she cursed herself for being imprudent, on such a snowy night, it seemed there was no one else she could rely on but herself.

She couldn’t face Du Qing or even Gu Feibai.

In the end, she had fallen to the fate of being pitied and sympathized with.

Gu Feibai’s inability to leave her wasn’t what she had imagined – the painful severing of feelings, the hesitation and choice between two people – but rather, the result of overflowing sympathy.

She could earn money for tuition, could support herself, could steel her heart to buy pretty clothes to stand beside him as his match, but she couldn’t prevent the fact that a woman who had lost her standing could no longer match his social status.

This was just reality.

She had once gritted her teeth and told herself never to let go of this hard-won happiness.

But happiness viewed through a kaleidoscope isn’t happiness at all – it’s just pieces of broken glass pieced together.

When she returned to the hotel, the group of men was gone, leaving only cigarette butts on the ground. They were probably people from out of town looking for work in H City, staying here temporarily.

Ah Heng breathed a sigh of relief, took off her hood, and pulled out her key to open the door when suddenly someone covered her mouth from behind.

Ah Heng broke into a cold sweat as she heard the middle-aged man’s panting voice by her ear: “Fifty for one night, you in?”

Ah Heng shook her head vigorously.

The man spat and cursed: “Damn it, little whore, don’t refuse a toast only to be forced to drink forfeit. I’ve been watching you – you’re just a poor student out here working. Coming out late at night, if you want to make money, don’t act so high and mighty!”

Ah Heng struggled to call for help but couldn’t make any sound, trying hard to pry his hand away, but he only covered her mouth tighter.

Seeing her resist, the man grabbed her hair and pushed open the door, roughly dragging her inside.

Ah Heng stumbled as he pulled her, sweating profusely in the darkness. She felt for the beer bottle in the plastic bag, grabbed it, and smashed it hard against the door. The sound of breaking glass alarmed the entire hotel.

The man, realizing Ah Heng was trying to draw attention, became angry. He slapped her face several times hard, threw her onto the floor, then fled in panic.

Ah Heng pulled herself up using the wooden table by the door, turned on the light, and felt her nose grow hot as thick red liquid dripped down.

From not far away came the sound of footsteps and a stream of curses: “What’s all this noise in the middle of the night, you want to die?”

It was the front desk service girl. Seeing the shattered beer bottle on the floor and Ah Heng’s disheveled clothes and swollen face, she raised her eyebrows mockingly: “What’s wrong, student girl, couldn’t agree on the price?”

Ah Heng’s face was expressionless as she looked at her, blood slowly flowing between her fingers.

The service girl was indifferent, bending down to sweep up the beer bottle pieces, her tone frivolous: “You university students act more high and mighty than anyone, looking down on people like us, but in private you’ll do anydirty thing. Do you think prostitutes are dirty? Let me tell you, prostitutes don’t think you’re clean either.”

Ah Heng said nothing, walking to the public bathroom across the way to wash her nose.

The service girl poked her head in, looking at Ah Heng, and smiled: “You’ve got spirit – why didn’t you smash the bottle on his head?”

Ah Heng said: “I don’t have an ID card, only a temporary residence permit.”

The woman was startled.

Ah Heng continued: “So, I can’t go to the police station.”

The blood on her hands had washed pale. Ah Heng looked at the clear water, her eyes aching. She rubbed them but no tears came: “Besides, I have no money. I couldn’t pay his medical bills.”

The woman looked at her, curiosity now in her eyes, and asked: “Student girl, how old are you?”

Ah Heng looked at her watch, remembered what she was carrying, and pulled it out from her coat with wet hands – the cream cake still warm from her body heat. She held it, staring at it blankly for a long while. Seeming to feel its warmth, she turned to look at the woman and said seriously: “In half an hour, I’ll be twenty years old.”

She carefully opened the plastic bag, tore off half the cake with its thick cream, and smiled as she offered it to the woman across from her: “Here. Would you like some of my birthday cake?”

The woman was flustered, and took the cake, her face reddening slightly, seemingly unaccustomed to being treated this way. She turned to leave, speaking softly: “Happy birthday. This isn’t a suitable place for you to stay. When your difficulties are resolved, move out soon.”

Ah Heng prepared the instant noodles in her room, ate them with the cake, sitting properly on a small stool near the television.

The bump on the back of her head where she’d hit the floor was painful. When she rubbed it, the bump didn’t go away, but tears came out.

On the old television, that person’s image was doubled, the piano music barely audible under the static, yet damnably gentle.

Ah Heng took a sip of soup, her eyes fixed on the screen. The camera kept panning to Chu Yun, her features as brilliant as flowers in the piano music.

Someone knocked gently on the door. Through the peephole, Ah Heng saw it was the service girl.

Opening the door, the woman handed her a bag of sausages and a green-skinned tangerine. She said: “Put the sausage in the noodles, it tastes much better.”

Ah Heng thanked her repeatedly.

The woman pointed at DJ Yan on the television and smiled: “You kids just like the good-looking ones.”

Ah Heng laughed hard, pounding the bed, and said: “Sister, I know him, believe it or not?”

The woman rolled her eyes: “Yeah, and I know Leslie Cheung.”

Ah Heng buried her face in the blanket, her shoulders shaking silently.

The woman was surprised: “Is it that funny?”

How funny, sister, how very funny.

The next day the snow stopped, and the weather warmed considerably.

She ended things peacefully with Gu Feibai with one sentence.

She said: “Gu Feibai if I told you that if I hadn’t met you on that overpass, I might have become a prostitute – then would you still dare to have me now?”

Gu Feibai said nothing.

Of course, he wouldn’t dare.

Gu Feibai was a germaphobe.

Although he had fallen in love with Wen Heng at first sight, this feeling came rushing in, inexplicably, making him crazy, even making Wen Heng’s father gift him the purple inkstone he’d used since childhood, to show his precious care for Wen Heng.

But if she was no longer that poetic young girl he had met back then, if she had lost all support and become someone from society’s lowest rung, as he grew increasingly depressed under others’ mocking gazes day after day, with a beautiful, dazzling childhood sweetheart of equal social standing right beside him, how long could his persistence last?

Ah Heng turned around, smiling as she waved: “Gu Feibai, you have a house to shelter in, yet you look down on Wen Heng. Wen Heng… naturally doesn’t dare to stay with you.”

In winter, Yan Xi often walked alone on the streets. With his makeup removed and a scarf on, fewer people recognized him.

Da Yi, Mary, Sun Peng, and the others invited him to go play at the bar. It was always the same few people, not very interesting. But having been good brothers for half their lives, he couldn’t refuse to give face, so he had to wander over to find them.

The cold wind blew at night, and the electronic billboard on the street was still playing his advertisement.

“Monthly Comfort, your girlfriend’s best choice!”

Seeing his face instantly made him a bit nauseated, and he walked faster.

When he arrived, Sun Peng was swirling red wine, while Da Yi and Mary were playing drinking games with several women, high card low card, and Five Chiefs, seemingly having great fun.

Seeing him, Sun Peng burst out laughing: “Well, whose big bad wolf has been let out?”

Flopping onto the sofa, Da Yi wore a grieving expression: “Beautiful one, you finally deigned to come. I’ve drunk my fill already – these city girls lately are frightening.”

One of the girls laughed: “Weren’t you just bragging that you’ve been drinking since you could walk?”

Yan Xi glanced at her – it was someone familiar: “Chu Yun, what are you doing here?”

Da Yi’s mouth gaped wide enough to fit a hand: “You’re Chu Yun? Host Chu Yun? How can you be Chu Yun? Chu Yun doesn’t look like this!”

Mary rolled her eyes: “Baboon, don’t tell me you just figured it out?”

Sun Peng raised his eyebrows, smiling in disbelief: “I thought you knew who she was when you strongly insisted on joining tables.”

Chu Yun burst out laughing: “I just didn’t put on makeup, brother.”

Yan Xi gulped baijiu, looking at the glass, and spoke lazily: “Xin Da Yi, the truth is right here.”

Chu Yun grabbed an orange from the table and threw it at Yan Xi. He caught it and casually tossed it back to the fruit plate, tilting his head slightly to ask her: “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

The noise of drinking games and singing was exceptionally loud nearby, with a crowd of people jumping around enthusiastically on stage, one even doing a striptease. Yan Xi glanced at the girls with a frown, then called a waiter to open a private room.

Chu Yun’s girlfriends exchanged meaningful looks with her. In the darkness, Chu Yun’s face reddened, looking somewhat uncomfortable as she said softly: “What for? It’s so lively here.”

Sun Peng rubbed his ears and stood up: “I’ve only been putting up with it for Da Yi and Chen Juan’s sake. Let’s go inside. Damn, it’s noisy.”

Xin Da Yi always had his twisted logic – wherever was most crowded proved where was most fun, so unless Lu Liu the germaphobe was in the venue, he would refuse to go to a private room.

This time, he pouted, very unwilling: “Yan Xi’s had this bad habit since childhood – antisocial!” Yan Xi kicked him, and he obediently shut up, following everyone into the private room.

The private room had good soundproofing, completely blocking out the noise from outside.

Yan Xi kept his head down drinking baijiu, not speaking. Everyone felt somewhat awkward until finally, Chu Yun’s friend Little Li said: “Why don’t we play a game?”

Mary smiled slightly, a crafty light in her eyes: “How about Truth or Dare? We have enough people to make it fun.”

Sun Peng swirled his red wine, smiling as he spoke: “I’ve heard of this but never played it.”

Mainly because although these childhood friends had always tried to learn to be bad, with all sorts of schemes, unfortunately, no one dared to corrupt them.

Chu Yun’s friends muttered – were they from outer space? This game has been popular for how many years now?

Da Yi nodded with great interest. Yan Xi yawned, his face reddened from the baijiu, showing little enthusiasm but not refusing.

So the bottle began spinning.

The first time, it landed on Chu Yun’s friend, who was asked about the age of their first kiss – they chose the truth.

The second time, it landed on Mary, who chose dare and had to turn left out the door and shout at the stage: “Hey stripper, your chest is too small and legs too thick!”

The third time, it landed on Yan Xi, who chose truth and was asked about his ideal type. Young Yan casually replied: “Long legs, beautiful neck, petite build, curved eyes, curly hair.” Chu Yun blushed. Da Yi scratched his head, thinking of Lin Wanwan, but felt Chu Yun also fit the description. After pondering for half a minute, he felt a twinge of heartache for a second.

The fourth time, it landed on Sun Peng, who chose dare and had to turn right out the door and smile at a girl sitting at the bar: “I’m the ugliest man in all of China.” The girl got angry and slapped her boyfriend – you can go die now.

The fifth time, it landed on Chu Yun, who chose the truth and was asked if she currently had a lover. Chu Yun said: “Does someone I often dream about count?” For evading the question, she was penalized one bottle of beer.

The sixth time, it landed on Da Yi, who chose truth and was asked who he missed most right now. Da Yi held back for so long his face turned green, glanced at Yan Xi, didn’t dare say, and drank a bottle of beer himself.

The seventh time, it landed on Yan Xi, who chose the truth and was asked what he regretted most. Yan Xi thought for a long while and said: “Before someone left, I didn’t get to say, thank you for quietly accompanying me for so long.” Da Yi felt heartache for another minute.

The eighth time, it landed on Chu Yun, who chose to dare – kiss someone of the opposite sex for three minutes. Chu Yun froze, looking somewhat helplessly at Yan Xi. Yan Xi smiled faintly: “Did you take the wrong medicine?” In a fit of anger, Chu Yun gulped down two bottles of beer.

The ninth time, it landed on Yan Xi again, who chose the truth and was asked about the woman he loved most in life. Yan Xi’s drunk eyes were hazy as he spoke faintly: “None, only a woman I want to be buried in the same cemetery with after death. We can be as far apart as possible, but it has to be the same cemetery.” Da Yi’s heartache lasted a minute and a half. Yan Xi evaded the question and drank two bottles.

The tenth time, it landed on Chu Yun again, who chose truth and was asked what would be the first thing she’d do if she had superpowers. Chu Yun looked fiercely at Yan Xi and said: “Tie up a certain dead man and take him home for S&M.” Sun Peng laughed inappropriately.

The eleventh time, it landed on Yan Xi again. Da Yi finally felt something was off, seeing Chu Yun’s friends exchanging meaningful looks. His face darkened and he was about to act up when Mary stopped him. Yan Xi had drunk too much and was getting impatient, carelessly choosing to dare.

Chu Yun’s friend Little Li said: “DJ Yan, find any woman in the bar, ask her name, then confess to her on stage.”

They were trying to help create a good match.

But Yan Xi stumbled out of the private room to the dance floor, randomly asked a girl something, went up on stage, took the microphone in his long fingers, and turned it to maximum volume: “Miss, I like you like you so much I want to cry.”

He looked blankly at the sudden silence below, the sea of dark faces, then hugged his scarf and said softly: “But where are you? I can’t find you anymore.”

Lu Liu said: “Chu Yun’s not bad.” Of course, this was said to Yan Xi.

Yan Xi lowered his head, sitting on the sofa at home flipping through professional books, and asked flatly: “What do you mean?”

Lu Liu smiled, got up, and walked to the kitchen, familiarly took out the coffee pot, put on gloves, adjusted the temperature, and watching the brown liquid warm over low heat, leaned against the doorway to ask: “Yan Xi, want coffee?”

Yan Xi nodded, slightly rolling up the sleeves of his white sweater, not looking up: “No sugar, thanks.”

Lu Liu bent down to get cups from the cabinet but suddenly narrowed his eyes, seeing something silver shining under the cabinet used as a stabilizer.

Taking it out and dusting it off, it turned out to be a Tiffany ring.

Somewhat amused, he picked it up and tossed it onto the glass coffee table: “Yan Xi, you used something I gave you to prop up a cabinet!”

Yan Xi picked it up between his thumb and forefinger, squinted at it, and then froze before breaking into loud laughter, his throat and chest heaving as if extremely happy.

He said: “Lu Liu, this isn’t mine – I lost mine to the braised pork rice long ago.”

Lu Liu picked it up and looked at the back, where there were two letters: “LL”

Lu Liu.

Indeed, it was something he had worn inseparably for three years, then later given to that person as a meeting gift, and then, that person had used it to… prop up a cabinet.

Yan Xi laughed so hard he could barely breathe, his eyes curved, the pen between his fingers drawing irregular blue lines on the thick book.

Lu Liu loosened his tie, his expression deep and concealed, unreadable. He said: “Yan Xi, you’re not young anymore. You need to have a relationship, find a woman.”

Yan Xi laughed, not bothering to respond, putting the ring on his index finger and playing with it, the bright light making his features look innocent.

Lu Liu said: “How about Chu Yun? Don’t you like her a lot?”

Yan Xi nodded, raising an eyebrow: “Yeah, but I haven’t found a good chance to confess to her yet.”

Lu Liu smiled faintly: “Don’t let women disturb your mind. I can see she’s already given her heart to you secretly. It’s a simple matter, no need to hesitate.”

Yan Xi rolled his eyes: “What’s it got to do with you? If you’re so bored, find a woman yourself.”

Lu Liu smiled, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, took out the coffee pot and poured two cups of black coffee, handed him one, and said lightly: “That’s none of your business.” Then he lowered his head, took a sip of coffee, but slightly frowned, “This tastes terrible. Yan Xi, your taste is getting more and more peculiar.”

Yan Xi leaned back against the sofa cushion, long legs propped on the coffee table, took the coffee to his mouth, sipped, and smiled: “As with drinking water, only the drinker knows if it’s cold or warm.”

The night Yan Xi finished his final exams, he took Chu Yun out to eat.

He said: “Chu Yun, I can spoil you so much that every woman in the world will be envious. Would you like to have a relationship with me?”

Chu Yun gripped her chopsticks, saying nothing.

Yan Xi said: “I can have only you as my woman for life, never forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Christmas – every single day. Would that satisfy you?”

Chu Yun looked up, surprised, and said: “You want to… marry me?”

Yan Xi smiled, looking at her: “You can be more reserved, I don’t mind.”

Chu Yun pointed at him, mouth gaping: “You… you… Yan Xi, have you fried your brain?”

Yan Xi: “I haven’t, but let’s be together.”

Chu Yun almost screamed, but bit her finger as she asked: “Yan Xi, can you love me?”

Yan Xi thought for a moment, then nodded: “I can. I can love you enough to entrust my life to your care.”

She shook her head vigorously, but tears welled in her eyes as she said: “You don’t need to love me that much – just a little bit is enough. I don’t deserve all that, but I can complete the remaining love.”

Yan Xi lowered his head, listening seriously, and softly said “Okay.”

She choked up, burying her head in her knees to cry: “I thought the female lead always had a difficult fate, and it would be hard to gain the male lead’s love until the very end.”

Yan Xi laughed loudly: “Perhaps we’re a light comedy.”

Beautiful woman, handsome man, princess, prince, same ideals, same frequency. Then, small heart flutters, ambiguity, love growing with time.

Chu Yun shed tears at the street-side food stall, for the first time not drinking alcohol, gently embracing that young man. She said: “Darling, I feel that I’m just the icing on the cake in your life.”

Yan Xi froze, then hugged her back with a small tenderness, smiling: “Yes, you always have been.”

Chu Yun looked at him foolishly: “This is the first time you’ve been so gentle with me.”

So much gentleness, only spring-colored eyes remaining.

Yan Xi smiled: “I’ve always been gentle, caring for the young and respecting the elderly – you just haven’t noticed.”

Suddenly he remembered a phone call he’d received a few days ago, after singing “My Prayer.” That person had said: “Little Xi, don’t do things that make her sad anymore, don’t make her think of you anymore. I beg you, let her go.”

Such a sad, cold voice, like in a dream.

He smiled, comforting the person on the other end of the phone: “Auntie, I won’t anymore, I was wrong, I’ll never do it again. Do you want her to be happy? I will make sure of it.”