When Mother Wen got up on New Year’s morning to offer incense to her late husband as usual, she broke a celadon vase, leaving her unsettled for half the day. Looking at her late husband’s memorial photo, those spirited eyes seemed to hold a trace of reproach, making her heart grow heavier.

Since her husband’s death, she had resigned from her position at the Music Association. Her annual three piano recitals were reduced to one, and she spent her days serving her father-in-law at home, rarely appearing in public, and keeping a very low profile.

The ladies she used to socialize with initially tried to comfort her, taking her to various venues and banquets to lift her spirits. Later, seeing her reduced to ashes, uninterested in everything, they gradually lost that inclination.

Instead, they often heard from their children and husbands that the young master of the Wen family had come of age, holding shares in the Lu Corporation, showing measured judgment just like old Mr. Wen in his day. It was only a pity that his biological daughter was in poor health, studying in the South year-round to recuperate, mother and daughter unable to meet, causing people to sigh. Fortunately, the adopted daughter Si Er was pretty and delightful, still able to bring joy to her parents.

As for old Mr. Wen, since his only son’s death, he had aged considerably, relinquishing much of his work. He often took his birdcage to the morning market, went for walks, chatted with people his age, and sipped bean juice, before returning home satisfied.

Early on New Year’s Day, Xin Dayi was still in sweet slumber when his grandfather yanked off his covers, saying they must go early to give New Year’s greetings to Grandfather Wen and Aunt Wen – they liked children, and seeing him would make them happy.

Dayi protested: “I’m already twenty, what child?” But he still drowsily put on his clothes, remembering something, he muttered, “Yan Xi must be there too, I haven’t seen him for half a month, don’t know what he’s been so busy with.”

Old Mr. Xin smacked his grandson’s head: “Isn’t the Yan boy courting someone? Behave yourself, don’t stand there with your foolish face ruining things. He’s finally settled down for a few days – if he can’t find a wife, old man Yan will worry himself to death!”

Dayi scoffed: “Heh, like he’d marry Chu Yun? I don’t believe it, he and Ah Heng clearly—”

“Stop talking nonsense! Neither the Wen family nor the Yan family mentions it anymore, what business is it of an outsider like you? When I say you’re stupid, you’ve never gotten any smarter. Why did Yan Xi parade his girlfriend around the Wen house, was the Wen family unhappy about it? Look at the Wen boy, he’s becoming quite shrewd!”

Dayi pouted, struggling to put on his pants: “They’re all my brothers, Grandpa, stop talking about it.”

Old Xin laughed and scolded: “Alright, alright, I’ve raised a foolish boy. Let them be clever if they’re clever, we fools have our blessings.”

Dayi also laughed: “Grandpa, in a couple of years when I’m working, I’ll bring you a granddaughter-in-law. You’ll be the first in our compound to hold a great-grandchild!”

Old Xin had an old ailment – when the weather was slightly off, his legs would become unsteady. His son and daughter-in-law had died in a car accident when they were young, leaving only this one grandson. He longed for him to grow up soon, inevitably spoiling him.

Fortunately, Dayi was pure-hearted by nature, and good in both character and studies. Old Xin often felt comforted – holding a great-grandchild would be the most perfect thing.

When Dayi arrived at Wen’s house, Sister Zhang was cooking tangyuan. Si Er opened the door and stretched out her hand, smiling: “To pass through this door, leave some toll money!”

Dayi ruffled Si Er’s hair, pulled a bag of candy from his pocket, and threw it to her: “Go on, little girl, it’s New Year’s, what’s all this fuss! Is Grandfather Wen up?”

Si Er raised her eyebrows: “He’s up, but he also said, to welcome everyone who comes to give New Year’s greetings, except Xin Dayi – throw him out.”

Dayi was dumbfounded: “Why?”

Si Er rolled her eyes: “How would I know? Grandpa’s orders, I’m just following them.”

Si Wan heard and came over, smiling: “Er Er is teasing you. Grandpa was just saying Dayi would definitely be the first, and here you are.”

Dayi glared at Si Er: “Little girl, you get more annoying as you grow up.”

Si Er pursed her lips: “You’re the least annoying one, every year at dawn, before seven, we hear your loud voice – you’ll shake the whole compound down.”

She stepped aside to let him pass.

Dayi poked his head in, asking Si Wan: “Is Yan Xi here? He spent New Year’s Eve here, right?”

Si Wan shook her head, smiling: “He called yesterday saying he wouldn’t come, probably went to Lu Liu’s house.”

Dayi saw his forced smile and internally cringed – damn, stepped on a landmine again.

Going in, he kowtowed to old Mr. Wen, who couldn’t stop smiling, and handed him a big red envelope.

After they chatted for a while, the doorbell rang again.

Dayi: “Haha, Yan Xi’s here.” He thought to himself, maybe Lu Liu too. Looking at Si Wan, he felt sorry – poor brother’s face was threatening to darken again.

He pattered to the entrance and opened the door – sure enough, it was Yan Xi.

Dayi patted his shoulder: “We’ve been waiting for you! Grandfather Wen is inside.”

Someone emerged from behind Yan Xi, looking at him with very gentle eyes. Eyebrows like distant mountains, black hair and thin lips, a fair face, eyes slightly downturned, a straight nose, harmless and gentle.

Somewhat awkward, she said: “Dayi, long time no see.”

Dayi’s first reaction wasn’t joy, wasn’t stupor, wasn’t confusion, but rather to look at Yan Xi’s expression.

The sharpness between Yan Xi’s brows had melted away eight or nine-tenths, like a gentle breeze and light snow, settling peacefully in one’s heart.

So he hugged Ah Heng, sighing again and again: “It could only be you.”

Ah Heng patted his shoulder, this youth who had accompanied her for so long, who never abandoned his friends, filling her with sincere longing.

She said: “How much have I changed, that you couldn’t recognize me?”

Dayi held her head and rubbed it hard, his eyes reddening: “Young miss, no more disappearing acts in the future, okay?”

Ah Heng nodded, choking up quietly, saying: “Okay.”

He said: “If you disappear again, Yan Xi’s nine lives wouldn’t be enough.”

Yan Xi watched the two embrace, his hands tucked into his pockets, his heart like a chrysalis breaking open, finding its last bit of strength.

He smiled – these were his weaknesses.

He stepped forward, quietly embraced them both, quietly crying.

His home, his friends.

A meaning beyond measure.

In the entrance, Wen Si Wan stood in the shadows, her hands hanging powerlessly.

He said: “Ah Heng, you’re back.” But he couldn’t open his arms for a proper brotherly embrace – his wings had long been clipped, simply because of the surname Wen.

So he could only smile slightly, a small dimple at the corner of his mouth.

This was exactly like their father, the one unique trait Ah Heng hadn’t inherited, and thus received destiny’s unique baptism.

After Ah Heng left, he had once collapsed powerlessly crying in his mother’s arms, unable to be a strong man anymore: “Mom, why was it me, why wasn’t it sister?”

But his mother slapped him for the first time in her life. She said: “You are a Wen, and Wen men never retreat. Your grandfather didn’t retreat on the battlefield, it was for his comrades; your father didn’t retreat at sea, it was for his country; and you, for your sister, you can’t retreat either!”

He cried like a child, Mom, Mom, such a heavy price.

But Mother Wen smiled: “How much future is left, Wen Si Wan, are you giving up already?”

His mother, who had just lost her husband, taught him never to give up. And that old matter became eternal, a weight that even time couldn’t wash away.

He looked at Ah Heng.

But in the girl’s eyes was a deep estrangement and unfamiliarity. Awkwardly, she softly said: “Si Wan, I’m sorry.”

Si Wan smiled: “Why are you saying sorry?”

Ah Heng thought about why, and said seriously: “I’m sorry, I came back.”

She spoke politely and clearly, yet so absurdly – apologizing to her brother for coming home.

Si Wan shrugged: “It’s cold outside, come in and we’ll talk.”

But Mother Wen, the mother who had given birth to Ah Heng, had an icy expression, looking at her with eyes almost devoid of warmth. Then she turned to that beautiful, tall young man and coldly demanded: “Yan Xi, what did you promise me?”

Yan Xi’s large eyes looked at her, not backing down: “Auntie, I’ve always known, it’s even instinctive.”

How to make her whole, how to make her happy.

Even at certain times, no one understood better than him that part of Ah Heng only had meaning to him.

Old Mr. Wen sighed: “Xiao Xi, Dayi, have breakfast with me. Ah Heng hasn’t been home for long, go talk with your mother in the room.”

After that, Yan Xi spent the whole day at the Wen house but didn’t see Ah Heng again.

Late at night, old Mr. Wen brewed the third steeping of Biluochun tea, the color already faint. He waved his hand: “Xiao Xi, go home now.” His eyes were wise but carried fatigue.

Yan Xi narrowed his eyes, fixed on the room where Ah Heng had disappeared.

Dayi winked at Yan Xi, trying to lighten the mood: “Grandfather Wen, we’ll come see you again tomorrow.”

Old Mr. Wen smiled: “I know you’re filial, but there’s much to do at home during Spring Festival, especially Xiao Xi – you have to make all the decisions yourself. Just take care of your own business. I have the three of them, and if worse comes to worst, I still have my birdcage.”

Dayi felt awkward, Yan Xi hesitated, but finally, the two stood up and politely said goodbye.

That room, down the long corridor, remained tightly locked.

Si Wan chased them outside, seriously saying to Yan Xi: “Don’t worry, nothing will happen to Ah Heng.”

Yan Xi looked at him: “Do you promise?”

Si Wan smiled, his dimple deepening slightly, nodding gently: “I promise, Yan Xi.”

That tone was very sacred as if they had returned to their invincibly loving childhood.

Dayi walked along laughing: “What’s there to promise? They won’t send Ah Heng to the ends of the earth overnight, making you never see her again.”

Yan Xi gathered snow from the ground and threw it at him: “What do you know!” Then, panting heavily, “Sometimes, I wish she was born from me!”

Then there wouldn’t be this endless, groundless worry.

Dayi dug in his ear, flashing his white teeth: “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. If you want to commit incest later, you won’t need to kill me as a witness.” He leaned in closer, grinning, “Yan Xi, I’ll bet you a hundred yuan that if Ah Heng was born from you, you’d cry yourself to death.”

Ah Heng knelt before her father’s spirit tablet all night.

She said: “Mom, Dad doesn’t like it here. It’s too dark here, Dad likes places where sunlight can shine directly, like the sea.”

Mother Wen took a stick and struck Ah Heng’s back, each blow making a clear sound.

Ah Heng lowered her head: “Mom, our bodies and skin were given by our parents, I dare not damage them carelessly. But when Mom hits, doesn’t it hurt?” Her forehead was covered in sweat from gritting her teeth, but her eyes remained clear and flawless.

But Mother Wen cried, almost breaking down emotionally: “Who told you to come back, who allowed you to come back!”

Ah Heng’s eyes were hollow: “Mom, so you don’t feel pain.”

Mother Wen’s voice became shrill: “Your father’s painstaking efforts were wasted, such a useless daughter! What use are you, what use are you!” She picked up the stick, almost crazy, striking Ah Heng hard.

Her lips bled from biting them, but she kept her spine straight, looking up at her father’s memorial photo, standing high on the table, full of sympathy for heaven and earth.

She remembered what Dad had said: “Ah Heng if we rush back home from the Gu house on your mom’s birthday, wouldn’t that be a huge surprise? Ah Heng, don’t tell your mom, we’ll surprise her, pinky promise, haha.”

But Mom, I brought Dad back, and you weren’t happy.

Ah Heng suddenly felt very tired. She said: “Mom if you want to beat me to death, hit here.” Pointing to her head, she looked at her mother, her eyes naive and gentle.

That stick, pointing down, dripping blood, bright red, chilling.

“If not, I’m very tired, can I… sleep for a while?”

Just for a while.

That woman suddenly realized what she had done, dropped the stick, and hugged Ah Heng, crying loudly: “Ah Heng, Ah Heng, Mom is so sorry!”

She couldn’t speak, struggled to stand up, felt her way to the door, and opened it, seeing only air, hearing only wind.

Walk, walk, only the instinct to walk remained.

Si Wan, who had hesitated outside the door for a long time wanting to help her, reached out, but Ah Heng avoided his hand, her eyes unfocused.

The stairs, one step at a time.

No grief greater than the death of the heart – her back was torn, yet she felt no pain at all.

Walking into the room, locking the door, holding the phone, pressing against the receiver again and again, crying hoarsely.

“Yan Xi, I have finally, forever lost my natural ability to love Mom.”

A child’s natural ability to love their mother.