Do you love me? Apart from Lu Liu, apart from the Yan family.

…Yes.

In this world, there’s always a type of person who crawls into a hole and refuses to come out no matter what.

She thought, what do I love about you?

Your youth and beauty? But I’m only twenty-three myself.

Your unmatched intelligence? Wen Heng, you’ve never ranked higher than fourth in school since primary school.

Your impressive family background? Go ask what the Wen family’s status would be without the Lu family’s constant surveillance.

Love at first sight? Ah yes, that… I have it exclusively, you don’t.

She swept the chess pieces off the board, smiling as she said “I forfeit.”

She had meant to let him taste what it felt like to be manipulated in someone’s palm, but in the end, she forfeited, simply because, she loved him.

She said: “Yan Xi, I’ll give you one month, think carefully about whether you want to spend a lifetime with me?”

“A lifetime?”

“Yes, a lifetime.”

That night, they drank a lot.

As the cool wind blew, she said: “You do like me, don’t you, Yan Xi?”

That devastatingly beautiful man lowered his head and smiled faintly: “What do you think?”

She was drunk and tipsy, holding him gently: “Yan Xi, say one thing, say you like Wen Heng, apart from Lu Liu, apart from the Yan family. Otherwise, I can’t go on.”

He looked into her eyes: “I’m just thinking, how could there be such a foolish person in this world?”

He held her as she swayed, saying: “I like Wen Heng.”

But she cried like a child: “Yan Xi, Yan Xi, if you’re lying, I’ll curse you to be Zhu Bajie in your next life, never meeting Gao Xiulan.”

He held her to his chest, rising and falling, saying: “Alright, curse me to never meet Gao A-Heng.”

She said: “Yan Xi, is other people’s love also this painful, wanting to cry whenever you catch a rainy day or cloudy day?”

Yan Xi’s eyes were black and bright, but he closed them gently, clenching his fists saying: “Yes, everyone’s the same.”

A-Heng said: “Tagore said, the farthest distance in the world is when I stand in front of you, but you don’t know I love you. But I never understand, I stand in front of you if you’ve looked into my eyes, how can you deny knowing I love you; if we love each other, what reason do you have to bear not being with me; if you can pretend I’m not in your heart at all, then why don’t you dare to harden your heart and mention Lu Liu to me?”

She was so aggrieved: “Others always tell me, Wen Heng was destined to be the Yan family’s daughter-in-law from birth. Then, tell me, was there ever a second, in your reckless youth, when you thought of this little wife, even if you had never met her, even if you had never taken her to heart.” Her head was dizzy as she lay on his leg, speaking softly.

Yan Xi stroked her hair, his expression indescribably gentle, smiling helplessly: “Ah, just assume I never thought about it.”

How could Yan Xi, who had countless first loves, think of that little wife his grandfather kept mentioning?

From when he was eight and learned he had a sister, he knew he also had a little wife, in a very far, very distant place, speaking words he couldn’t understand.

Then, he specifically learned those awkward words.

She said: “Tell me, Yan Xi, tell me, do you love Lu Liu very much, how much, enough to give up being the Yan family heir for him?”

His fingers were long and slender, but he gripped them tightly without showing it, saying: “Besides family love and friendship, there’s a third kind of feeling in this world, easier to get close to than grandfather, easier to get used to than Da Yi and Si Wan.”

She nodded, face flushed, lying on his knee, looking into the distance, saying: “I know, it’s love, right? Love that’s easier to accept than A-Heng.”

Yan Xi smiled faintly: “If that’s all you can think of…”

But she fell into a deep sleep in his arms, accompanied by a bright moon, pure snow, and bamboo sounds.

He stroked her hair, his clean sleeve wiping away the moisture from her eyes, just helplessly: “What do you know, and how much do you understand?”

It seemed only this sentence remained.

That distance, so far to reach Yan Xi.

Forever, forever just a little short…

When the three-day tour ended and they returned to school, Yan Xi was holding A-Heng’s hand when they unexpectedly saw a familiar sports car below the apartment building.

It was Lu Liu’s Chevrolet.

Yan Xi fell silent and knocked on the car window.

The window slowly lowered.

A-Heng stood at a direct angle, Lu Liu’s profile crystal clear.

She thought this was a self-disciplined person, with nails always perfectly manicured, expression habitually cold and clear, always showing appropriate expressions at appropriate times.

Lu Liu looked into the distance, but spoke coldly to Yan Xi: “Get in.”

Yan Xi smiled: “Didn’t you guess this would be the outcome when I left? With A-Heng.”

Lu Liu said: “Yan Xi, listen well. You can marry, have children, like a woman, I give you absolute freedom, and I respect your choices, but, it cannot be Wen Heng.”

Yan Xi narrowed his eyes: “How afraid are you of Wen Heng entering my heart?”

Lu Liu smiled faintly: “I’m not afraid of her entering your heart, I’m afraid of her entering your soul. Yan Xi, you’re dead without your soul. I’ve endured for so many years, spent so much effort, not to make a wedding dress for someone else.” He said, “If you’re just trying to oppose me, you can find some other toy, I have no interest in competing over this woman!”

A-Heng’s face darkened, ah, speaking as if “this woman” were someone else.

She coughed: “You two discuss slowly, I’ll go up first.”

But Lu Liu opened the car door and said to A-Heng: “Miss Wen probably needs to go back too. Old Wen is sick and in intensive care. Si Wan couldn’t reach you.”

A-Heng was shocked: “When did this happen, what’s wrong with grandfather?”

Lu Liu smiled: “You’ve been away from home for half a year without answering calls, Si Wan is making a fuss about marrying his girlfriend. I visited Old Wen for New Year’s yesterday, just found out, he was hospitalized on New Year’s Eve.”

When A-Heng and Yan Xi hurriedly arrived at the hospital room, they learned that Old Wen had suddenly suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and was sent to emergency, fortunately, the bleeding was less than 10ml, his body wasn’t seriously affected, and he had woken up yesterday.

Si Wan sat outside the hospital room, head down, unshaven, looking dejected, eyes bloodshot, who knows how long since he’d slept.

Given Old Wen’s status, the hospital room was naturally spacious and comfortable, and it wasn’t Si Wan’s turn to stand guard outside – presumably Old Wen simply didn’t want to see him.

He glanced at A-Heng, and forced a smile: “A-Heng, you’re back.” Then looked at Yan Xi once, and turned his face away, silent.

Yan Xi clenched his fists, also not speaking, holding A-Heng’s hand as he knocked on the hospital room door.

Mother Wen opened the door, seeing A-Heng, first showed joy, then seeing her hand intertwined with Yan Xi’s, froze for a moment, smiled saying: “Your grandfather is already better, don’t worry. I haven’t seen Little Xi for a long time either, you talk with Si Wan first, let A-Heng see her grandfather alone.”

But Old Wen’s aged steady voice came through: “No need, let them come in together.”

A-Heng walked in, looking at Old Wen, examining him carefully, her eyes growing moist.

This elderly man with silver hair had worried endlessly for his children and grandchildren, planning every step carefully, lonely at the top. His face was already full of wrinkles, yet she had been extremely unfilial, not personally attending to her grandfather for so long.

He leaned on the hospital bed, seeing A-Heng’s red eyes, beckoned with his wrinkled hand, held her hand, his eyes still like an eagle’s, but full of love: “Good child, it’s good you’re back, why cry?”

A-Heng sniffled, lowered her head wiping tears, and kept saying: “I’m not good, I’m unfilial, grandfather, I’m the worst!”

Old Wen smiled: “Nonsense, who dares say my child is bad? Your grandfather isn’t dead, no one can bully you.”

A-Heng shook her head: “Grandfather, I’m the worst, I don’t listen, I always anger you, I’ve never once been obedient.”

The old man was tender, patting her hair: “Grandfather only has you and your brother left in this life, you are grandfather’s life, everything grandfather does is only for your good, nothing bad. Every family cherishes their children, when I put you in the Yun family, your grandmother couldn’t even mention you while she was alive, she would cry at any mention, always pointing at the photos your mother sent, telling me our little A-Heng had grown a bit more.”

But A-Heng burst into loud tears: “I’m the bad one, I was foolish, I was ignorant, I was wrong grandfather!”

The old man said: “I heard from your mother you’re preparing to study in France, how are the preparations going?”

A-Heng’s eyes were red, turning to look at Yan Xi standing there, quietly watching her.

She said: “Grandfather, I want… to be with Yan Xi.”

She stuttered at first, but then raised her head, eyes gentle as water yet gleaming bright: “Grandfather, I want to be with him, for life, I want to marry him.”

But Old Wen spoke flatly: “I’ll agree to thousands of things for you, but this one thing, I cannot allow.”

He said: “The Yan family is not one our family can match. Little Xi, what do you say?” The old man looked up, gaze like a torch, nearly severe and vicious as he looked at Yan Xi.

Yan Xi remained silent, not making a sound.

But Old Wen said: “Yan Xi, even though you’re my best friend’s eldest grandson, I’ve never thought highly of you, this you know. People say young nobles are wasteful, for families like ours, this is common, nothing special. But my granddaughter A-Heng, daughter of the Wen family, though weak and ignorant from childhood, dull and rigid, is still proper, has never done anything out of line, you two together will inevitably have conflicts, and really can’t be considered a good match. Moreover, A-Heng is still physically whole…”

Moreover, A-Heng is still physically whole.

Moreover.

Yan Xi’s mind was confused, lips dry, and his ears starting to ring in pain again, he said: “Sorry, I need to step out for a moment, Grandfather Wen, let A-Heng keep you company for a while.”

He walked out, pulled out his earbuds, and casually threw them into the hallway trash can.

At the vending machine, three yuan for a can of coffee, still scalding hot, warming in his palm.

Five fingers squeezed, the aluminum silver can, under great pressure, twisted and deformed, brown liquid splashing onto black hair, brows, and eyes.

Si Wan walked over.

Yan Xi said: “I wanted to be lifelong friends with you.”

He looked up, Si Wan looked into his eyes and was shocked.

That Yan Xi, who hadn’t shed a tear even when he couldn’t hear the world, now had something more sorrowful than tears flowing unmasked from his eyes.

He said: “Not just you Wen Si Wan, but also Xin Da Yi, Lu Liu, I never gave up planning to be lifelong brothers with you all.”

The brown liquid flowed down his black hair, looking just like teardrops.

He said: “What do you all want? Power, money, status, influence, fine, I have it all, I’ll give it all to you, never been stingy. Even when deciding to save the Wen family, besides A-Heng, Wen Si Wan do you fucking think so little of yourself to believe there wasn’t even a tiny bit of reason for you? But what about you all, what have you given me in return?”

He suddenly burst out laughing: “Da Yi wanted money, I gave him, twenty million, all my savings from struggling in the entertainment industry, my entire nest egg, gave it all to him, not keeping a penny; Lu Liu wanted someone who could stay by his side, wanted someone who could keep him from being lonely for life, he’s been scheming against me for twenty-five years without giving up, I don’t hold it against him; and you, nothing satisfies you, you’ve wanted to compete with Lu Liu since childhood, so whatever he has you must also get, money, power, status, including me, you also followed him, copying his methods, scheming against me!”

Si Wan frowned: “Yan Xi, what are you saying, I don’t understand?”

Yan Xi’s hand gripped the aluminum can, the protruding parts cutting his hand, blood bright red, like newly blooming plum blossoms, shocking to see.

He looked at Wen Si Wan, expression tragic: “Why has no one, not a single good brother, ever asked me what I want; asked if I’ve saved enough for my nest egg; asked if I want to love a man; asked, I schemed against you and you fell for it, Yan Xi are you stupid?”

In the snowy sunlight, he looked up, A-Heng walked out of the hospital room, and smiled at him, gentle as mountains and water, just like when they first met.

He also smiled, at her, smiled until tears came.

He opened his mouth, voice so low, low into an ocean of inferiority.

He said: “And no one ever told me whether I could marry A-Heng.”