It turned out that without her knowledge, Brother Yu Cheng had already decided which university he wanted to attend.

Zhao Dai Lin was quite disappointed, but after accumulating years of disappointment, it had become a habit.

That night, she climbed into Hu Yu Cheng’s room.

Hu Yu Cheng’s grandmother’s courtyard house was very small. In Zhao Dai Lin’s words, it was smaller than a sparrow’s stomach, but at least it had all the essentials. At that time, she was quite sympathetic to Hu Yu Cheng’s living conditions and often secretly gave him things she couldn’t bear to eat or play with herself.

Hu Yu Cheng had a cold personality and didn’t talk much, but he accepted all her “offerings” one by one.

The first time Zhao Dai Lin went there, she was shocked by his simple room.

How could anyone live so minimally? He didn’t have many things: a bed, a desk, a peach wood wardrobe against the wall, and a row of cacti on the windowsill. Nothing else.

Originally, there was only one pot of cactus on that windowsill.

But ever since Zhao Dai Lin started climbing into his bedroom at night, that one pot of cactus became a row.

That night, Zhao Dai Lin didn’t know about it yet. In two or three moves, she climbed up to their windowsill. In the darkness, she stealthily pushed open his window with a “creak,” and as soon as her hand gripped the sill, she sucked in her breath from pain, shaking her hand and stamping her feet as she looked at the figure inside: “Why did you put so many cacti here?”

Hu Yu Cheng glanced at her: “To prevent thieves.”

Zhao Dai Lin spat, knowing it was just to keep her out.

“I want to ask you something.”

“What?”

“You’re going to Nanjing?”

“Yes.”

“If I asked you to stay in Beijing, would you agree?”

“No.”

“Brother Yu Cheng, have you never liked me?”

Hu Yu Cheng didn’t speak, still maintaining that indifferent expression, looking at her.

Zhao Dai Lin forced back her tears, glaring with reddened eyes, and in the darkness, cursed him word by word: “Ungrateful wolf.”

Hu Yu Cheng didn’t argue, letting her curse him.

Zhao Dai Lin held back her tears and said, “Then let’s break up.”

Hu Yu Cheng finally said, “Okay.”

Hu Yu Cheng had agreed to be with her in the third year of middle school. On the evening after the middle school entrance exam, under the old Chinese scholar tree in front of their house, Zhao Dai Lin couldn’t help but kiss him. The girl had no experience, hugging his neck and nibbling while whispering to him: “Brother Yu Cheng, let’s be together. I’ll be good to you.”

Hu Yu Cheng leaned against the tree, allowing her to kiss him for a while, and with a faint “okay,” their relationship was confirmed. Now, with another faint “okay,” that relationship was severed.

And not far away, the old Chinese scholar tree still stood, in the darkness, neither sad nor happy.

Hu Yu Cheng left Beijing a year early and went to Nanjing.

This was something Zhao Dai Lin hadn’t expected.

He didn’t even say goodbye to her. Zhao Dai Lin was doing exercises when she accidentally overheard girls from the next class saying that Hu Yu Cheng had already been admitted to the Department of Astronomy at Nanjing University. This blow completely woke Zhao Dai Lin up.

When she found Hu Yu Cheng in the small courtyard, he was packing his luggage.

Zhao Dai Lin was so angry that she pushed him hard from behind. Hu Yu Cheng seemed to know she would come; he didn’t turn around, his body swayed a bit, but he quickly steadied himself and continued packing.

She was both angry and anxious, suddenly hugging Hu Yu Cheng’s thin waist from behind, her face pressed tightly against his back, tears falling one by one: “Can we not break up?”

“Okay.”

Hu Yu Cheng seemed to only know how to say “okay” or “not okay.”

Zhao Dai Lin suddenly became happy again, wiping away her tears, turning him around, and burrowing into his arms: “Really?”

He said: “You can say when to break up anytime.”

They didn’t break up that year.

The real breakup happened the year Zhao Dai Lin finished her college entrance exam. Hu Yu Cheng’s grandmother passed away, and he returned from Nanjing covered in dust, only to find that his family’s assets had been emptied. His second uncle took back the small courtyard, and Hu Yu Cheng was kicked out. Hu Yu Cheng had nothing to his name and only took a photo of his grandmother from the courtyard.

Then he returned to Nanjing alone.

He never came back.

Half a month later, a message came from Nanjing. It was from Hu Yu Cheng: “Let’s break up. I’ve fallen in love with someone else.”

Hu Yu Cheng didn’t have a terminal illness, nor did he have any unspeakable difficulties. He had truly fallen in love with someone else.

The second brother said that Hu Yu Cheng was being kept by someone in Nanjing.

Zhao Dai Lin didn’t believe it and cried and made a fuss about going to Nanjing to find him, but was dragged and pulled back to her room by her brothers. She cried and shouted, her tears flowing like a river, using her hands and feet to pry at the door, but despite her ox-like strength, she couldn’t handle her brothers pinning her to the bed like they were restraining a mental patient.

The second brother turned her head to face him, her empty gaze meeting his, and he gritted his teeth and said: “Dai Lin, listen to me. Hu Yu Cheng isn’t worth it. He’s not worth you being like this. You’ll meet someone better in the future. Trust your second brother!”

“Is he dead?” Zhao Dai Lin’s eyes were unfocused, staring emptily at the ceiling.

“I would rather he was dead,” the Second brother gritted his teeth. “Do you think he ever really liked you? From childhood till now, if it weren’t for you, those little hoodlums outside wouldn’t have dared to trouble him. He has always been heartless. He only likes people who are useful to him, do you understand? In Beijing, you could help him, but in Nanjing, you couldn’t help him. He needed to find a new patron. Now he needs to please his patron, understand? Even if he liked you a little bit before, when faced with benefits, he chose benefits. Do you understand?”

Zhao Dai Lin stared blankly, not speaking.

“That woman he’s with now is an executive at Hai Sheng headquarters. Do you know Hai Sheng?”

She had vaguely heard of it; it seemed to be the company where Hu Yu Cheng’s second uncle worked.

She remembered that one year, she inadvertently learned that Hu Yu Cheng’s so-called second uncle was his father. Hu Yu Cheng had always hated him, and Zhao Dai Lin knew this.

“Yes, Hu Yu Cheng’s father. His father wants to swallow up Hai Sheng, and Hu Yu Cheng is with that woman to take revenge on his father.”

“You’re talking nonsense!”

Zhao Dai Lin let out a dry shout, and after shouting, she felt uncertain.

Because she knew very clearly what kind of person Hu Yu Cheng was. He loved himself more than anyone else.

The Department of Astronomy, Nanjing University—all of it was fake. He went to Nanjing with only one purpose: for that woman who could counterbalance his father.

No wonder he said, “You can say when to break up anytime.”

Zhao Dai Lin cried until she laughed, tears and snot flowing out together, and she even blew a big bubble.

That appearance was both stupid and heartbreaking.

…

Over the years, Zhao Dai Lin had been introduced to countless potential partners but had only properly dated one boyfriend. He had very good conditions, and a proper appearance, and although his income wasn’t high, at least he worked in a government office with very good benefits.

The breakup was quite peaceful, with almost no conflict. They never argued, but just felt they couldn’t go on. Life had no passion. Even he noticed it, and during their last date, he mentioned, “Dai Lin, I like you very much, but I can’t feel the passion of love from you. Just as you, your appreciation for me, only stays at the surface level. It’s like there’s a cake in front of me, and besides seeing that the outside is made of cream, I don’t know what the cake core is made of. You’re like a piece of chocolate, and also like a slightly matcha-flavored coolness. I greatly appreciate this cake, but I don’t dare to pick up the chopsticks.”

Zhao Dai Lin, who studied psychology, saw for the first time someone describes a breakup so euphemistically and pleasantly. She couldn’t help but smile and nod, showing understanding: “Then I wish you find that cake you dare to eat soon.”

Amazingly, after that peaceful breakup, because of their work relationship, they often encountered each other on different occasions, but they would smile and greet each other like ordinary friends, without any awkwardness from breaking up.

Books say that if you can still be friends after breaking up, you aren’t in love.

Just when she thought she would live the rest of her life like this, she met Sun Kai.

She felt she might have a bit of a masochistic tendency. Psychology says that people with this phenomenon are surrounded by love in their lives.

When Sun Kai shouted at her, she felt strangely excited, especially his masculine, robust voice. The next second, she thought that such a voice must sound good in bed.

Hu Yu Cheng performed very well in bed. Despite being thin, he knew very well how to please a woman, no wonder he could please that person. But her taste had already been spoiled by Hu Yu Cheng.

At that time in Yunnan, she had offered to replace the hostage with herself.

Sun Kai’s one “get out” made her heart skip uncontrollably. For thirty years, this heart jumped wildly like a little deer for the first time. It wasn’t like this in her youth with Hu Yu Cheng. Her most heart-fluttering moment with Hu Yu Cheng was when he sat coldly, and she tilted her head, resting her chin in her hand, appreciating him like a piece of craftsmanship. Hu Yu Cheng at that time was like her kept pretty boy.

She had always thought that the type of man she admired was the gloomy, sickly cute type like Hu Yu Cheng, but unexpectedly, a hormone-filled man like Sun Kai could also make her heart flutter.

Sun Kai was far from her ideal partner, far from her framework. He didn’t even fit into a single category. He wasn’t the feminine, beautiful type, and when he scolded people with a stern face, he was even more merciless, nor was he any kind of gentleman.

His features, if thrown into a crowd of ordinary people, would stand out, and he could be considered handsome, but definitely couldn’t be described as delicate, and couldn’t meet Zhao Dai Lin’s standard for a beautiful man. Or rather, someone who looked like Lu Huai Zheng would be her standard, but Lu Huai Zheng was too similar to her, and he was Yu Hao’s first love. No matter how shameless she might be, she wouldn’t make a move on her friend.

She discovered that she had feelings for Sun Kai on an afternoon in Yunnan.

Sun Kai passed by her window bare-chested, with a white towel hanging around his neck. The muscle lines on his back were full and smooth. He walked to the water basin, threw the basin in, bent over at the basin, scooped up a handful of water, and vigorously rubbed his face. He didn’t even use a facial cleanser to wash his face, but his skin looked quite good—a healthy color. Living so roughly, it was rare to look clean and tidy.

When he turned off the water and raised his head, he discovered that Zhao Dai Lin was standing at the window, staring at him without blinking. He roughly wiped with the towel, and water droplets slowly slid down his jawline, over his Adam’s apple. Zhao Dai Lin felt inexplicably hot.

Perhaps her gaze was too intense.

When Sun Kai went back past her window, he gave her a fierce glare, with some warning intent. Zhao Dai Lin snorted: “Pretending to be proper.”

As a result, his sharp ears heard it. He didn’t come over immediately but went back to his room to put on a short-sleeved shirt, then walked to her, hands in his pockets. He first looked at her coldly through the window for a couple of glances but eventually surrendered to her stubborn gaze, lowered his head, and smiled, unusually patient as he explained to her: “I didn’t know you were in the dormitory. A group of men are used to living in the army, and we rarely have girls around. Today I wasn’t paying attention. I’ll be more careful in the future.”

Zhao Dai Lin expressionlessly said: “Oh.”

“Oh?” Sun Kai raised an eyebrow.

“Otherwise, do you want me to give you a review? Your muscles are very big and look good?”

Sun Kai burst into laughter: “Is that necessary? Do you have to be so sarcastic?”

Zhao Dai Lin slammed the window shut, not wanting to say another word to him.

The window was frosted glass. Once closed, you couldn’t see clearly, only two blurry figures. That thin layer separated the two people.

Sun Kai stood outside the window.

Zhao Dai Lin was inside. She patted her face with her hand, reminding herself.

He has a fiancée, Zhao Dai Lin, get your act together!

But she always believed that a woman’s attraction to a man is unavoidable. In this world, every minute and every second, you might meet a man you are attracted to. A woman with shame would terminate this budding attraction in time when she learns that the other person is about to have a family.

Zhao Dai Lin terminated it in time. During those few nights in Yunnan, she tossed and turned. Sometimes in the middle of the night, she would sneak downstairs to smoke a cigarette and see Sun Kai coming out of the office after finishing his duty.

She turned and walked away, deliberately avoiding him.

But Sun Kai called her: “Hey, you.”

Zhao Dai Lin stopped but twisted her body, refusing to turn around. Sun Kai put his hands in his pockets and suddenly shouted: “Stand still there!”

For some reason, Zhao Dai Lin started to stand at attention, facing away from him, her hands lightly pressed against the seams of her pants, with a cigarette still burning between her fingertips.

Footsteps approached from behind, and Sun Kai came to stand in front of her, circling her: “In the middle of the night, not sleeping…” Then he lowered his head and glanced at the cigarette butt between her fingers, bent down to take it from her, pinched it in his hand, looking at it back and forth, then raised his head to scan her, smiling ambiguously: “Zhao Dai Lin, do you know what the punishment is for smoking in the army?”

What?

Zhao Dai Lin was completely confused, but was determined not to give in to him: “What punishment?”

“Fifty push-ups.”

It was much later that Zhao Dai Lin learned Sun Kai was just making it up to tease her that day. The next morning, she seriously did fifty push-ups on the drill ground and specifically called Chen Rui over to count.

Zhao Dai Lin’s physical fitness was good. Since she was young, she had learned some half-baked martial arts from her brothers and paid great attention to fitness and exercise. Her physical condition was much better than Yu Hao’s.

However, no matter how good her physical fitness was, even though she did her best, in Chen Rui’s eyes, her form was particularly non-standard.

By the end, Chen Rui was tired of counting and lazily said with one eye open and one eye closed: “35, 36, 39…”

“Don’t you know how to count? After 36 comes 39?” Zhao Dai Lin, covered in sweat, corrected him breathlessly.

Chen Rui: “Dr. Zhao, why are you being so serious? Captain Sun won’t check on you.”

“No, in the army, I must follow the discipline and not cause trouble for you all.”

As a result, Sun Kai came over, having just changed into his training uniform, rolling up his sleeves and bending down to look at Zhao Dai Lin, who was struggling on the ground, with curiosity: “What are you doing?”

“Didn’t you say smoking means fifty push-ups?” Zhao Dai Lin, with sweat on her forehead, gasped intermittently.

Sun Kai raised an eyebrow and smiled, straightened up, and turned to ask Chen Rui: “How many has she done?”

“Thirty-six…”

“Alright, you can get up.”

Zhao Dai Lin’s arms were already shaking, but she persisted: “I’ll do a hundred for you. I’m going to smoke another one later.”

This made even Chen Rui behind her laugh.

If she weren’t a girl, Sun Kai would have almost slapped her. She was even prepaying for future infractions.

Zhao Dai Lin insisted on completing all fifty push-ups. When she finally got up from the ground, she blacked out and fainted. Sun Kai quickly caught her in his arms to prevent her from sliding to the ground.

She was still conscious.

She could even feel the man’s breath next to her ear, rising and falling, his chest slightly vibrating. She heard him talking to Chen Rui: “You go gather the men first. I’ll take her to the medical office.” Then he easily lifted her in his arms, looked down at her, and cursed, “Causing trouble for me so early in the morning…”

Zhao Dai Lin closed her eyes, leaning in his arms, instinctively hugging his neck. She heard Sun Kai laughing: “Can you hear me talking?”

Zhao Dai Lin, leaning against his chest, feeling his strong heartbeat, gave a low “Mm.”

“By standard, none of your push-ups just now were qualified. I won’t hold it against you this time, but in the future, no smoking in the army, okay?”

Her head was dizzy, and she wasn’t aware of what she mumbled.

“Then next time, teach me the standard way.”

Sun Kai unconsciously responded with a sound of agreement.

After agreeing, he suddenly realized—teach what? You’re a man about to get married, and you’re still flirting here. The atmosphere was too strange.

After that.

Sun Kai would go around Zhao Dai Lin whenever he saw her.

Zhao Dai Lin wanted to say a few words to him but couldn’t. This man avoided her like the plague.

Later, she accidentally overheard two soldiers talking.

“Have you noticed the strange atmosphere between Captain Sun and Dr. Zhao?”

“Does Dr. Zhao like our Captain Sun?”

“But Captain Sun is about to get married?”

“Is Dr. Zhao going to steal him away?”

“I’m really afraid Captain Sun won’t be able to control himself. After all, Dr. Zhao is a beauty. If she actively threw herself at him, could you refuse?”

“That won’t happen. Haven’t you seen Captain Sun avoiding Dr. Zhao these days? He probably knows Dr. Zhao’s feelings. Yesterday, Captain Sun was all lovey-dovey on the phone with his fiancée. Don’t worry, at most, it’s just Dr. Zhao’s one-sided love.”

“This Dr. Zhao is something. Knowing Captain Sun is about to get married, she still goes after him. This woman has no integrity.”

Zhao Dai Lin thought.

She had done many things without integrity, but regarding Sun Kai, she might as well have hung the words “integrity” on her head.