Just moments before, Situ Sheng had been sitting alone in the pitch-dark room, using the moonlight to absently mold clay, working out the oppression in his heart.

But as his thoughts reached the source of his anguish, his hand unconsciously tightened — and when the pain reached him, he realized he was still gripping the carving knife in his hand. The blade had cut into his palm, and blood was welling up steadily.

He had gotten up intending to rinse it under well water, when unexpectedly he encountered Chu Linlang standing outside his study door, holding a bowl of food.

He had not wanted Chu Linlang to see him in this moment of lost control. He parted his lips, preparing to drive her away as he had driven away Guanqi — but the words reached the tip of his tongue, then paused for just a moment.

In that brief moment of hesitation, Chu Linlang had already grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him back into the study.

By the light of the lamp she lit, Chu Linlang saw that the knife wound on his palm was deep enough to cut almost to the bone. She immediately glanced at the table surface — and on it lay a newly finished clay figure, hacked clean in two by the carving knife, body and head separated. And the blade of that knife was smeared with blood…

If it had been anyone else, this might have passed for an accidental self-injury with a carving knife. But this person was Chu Linlang’s childhood acquaintance.

She still remembered one of the “little plague child’s” unspeakable habits: every time his mother had one of her episodes and was humiliated by someone, and he had gone out and vented his rage on whoever provoked him, he would come back to the courtyard and mold clay figures in brooding silence — and then smash them to pieces, one by one…

A few times he had smashed with such force that he injured his own hands.

As a child, Linlang had watched from the top of the wall, and could only cover her mouth in silence.

Back then she had not understood — she had simply thought the boy was wild. But as the years brought her wider experience of life, she came to have some sense of what the child had been feeling: that was the helplessness and self-loathing of being unable to protect what mattered to you, with nowhere to direct the pain.

But now Situ Sheng had grown into a man with no dependents, no burdens, who even held power in his hands over people’s lives and deaths — so why, in the dead of night, was he still doing this harm to himself?

Connecting it with Guanqi’s sighs and low spirits over dinner, along with the fact that he still hadn’t eaten anything — Chu Linlang concluded that something bad must have happened, something that had unsettled him deeply.

With that thought, Linlang asked no more questions. She turned and fetched spirits, hemostatic powder, and bandages, and set about treating Situ Sheng’s wound.

Her touch, however, was none too gentle, and the pulling had Situ Sheng wincing with pain. He reached out to take the medicine bottle from her hands — and was given a sharp slap from Chu Linlang, who smacked his hand away without ceremony.

Watching him glare at her, Chu Linlang did not ease her grip in the slightest, and muttered under her breath as she worked: “Impressive! Not eating all day, and still with enough energy to glare at people. You’re in pain? Then next time you grip a knife blade with your hand, bring your brain along with you! How are you going to write characters or process official documents these next few days? Couldn’t have hurt any other hand, could it — had to be the right one!”

Situ Sheng hadn’t expected her to have the nerve to berate her own employer like this — it really was too much.

His mood at that moment was genuinely not good, so he had no desire to maintain the facade of a composed gentleman. After much restraint, he said coldly: “Get out!”

But this stubborn woman apparently couldn’t hear plain speech. Once she had finished applying the medicine, she grabbed his injured hand again and, wrapping it like a piglet being trussed, wound the bandage around it without allowing for any refusal.

She kept her eyes lowered and said in a flat, blunt tone: “Next time you’re in a bad mood, find a way of letting it out that doesn’t put other people through trouble. You’re no helpless, sniveling infant! The way I see it, only spineless good-for-nothings who can’t vent their anger end up turning it against their own bodies!”

Such words — no man could bear to hear them. Situ Sheng narrowed his eyes, his voice low and grinding, as if his teeth were clenched tight. He said once more: “Get — out!”

Chu Linlang seemed not to hear. She finished binding the wound and tied it off in a neat bow, then set the still-warm fried rice in front of her employer: “Eat first. Once you’ve eaten, I’ll go.”

Such an utterly brazen, shameless, immovable woman — and he had been the one who had deliberately kept her here in his own residence?

Situ Sheng simmered in silence, uncertain whether he was angry at her or more angry at himself.

Chu Linlang saw him still motionless, and let out a faint sigh.

It was deep in the night, and an unmarried man and woman alone together in a room was plainly improper. Yet she felt she couldn’t leave him here alone.

If she left, he would put the lamp out again. A room full of darkness could sometimes darken its way into the heart as well.

Linlang didn’t know what Situ Sheng’s inner demon was, but she could speak of her own.

She turned the lamp up brighter, tidied the chopsticks and bowl for him, and seemed to be talking to herself: “When I was small, every time my father beat and scolded my mother, he would take it out on me too. At first I would always cry. Once I’d cried myself dry, I’d imagine that a god from heaven would come and use a magic gourd to sweep me and my mother away, far from that home.”

Of course Situ Sheng knew all this. Every time she was beaten, he would always be on the other side of the wall, falling asleep to the sound of a girl child’s sobbing and low, bitter cursing.

Chu Linlang said this, then laughed at herself: “So back then, when my father forced me to marry an old man, the appearance of Zhou Sui’an felt like a heavenly god descending. He carried me away, and at last I could leave that suffocating home.”

Hearing this, Situ Sheng’s gaze grew colder still, and he couldn’t even be bothered to make a sound.

Chu Linlang continued: “You’re thinking I encountered the wrong person — that I mistook a faithless man for a heavenly god, aren’t you? I’ve thought about it too. If time could be turned back, what would I choose? But when I think it through, at that time my options were so limited, I would probably still have left with him.”

Hearing those words, Situ Sheng’s expression grew even colder — he was too indifferent even to scoff.

Yet Chu Linlang went on: “Only, I would come to understand sooner that no one can ever be anyone else’s saving god. Rather than placing one’s trust in the divine interventions of heaven, it’s better to rely entirely on oneself and fight with everything you have for your own sake. Isn’t that how it is for people in this world — doing the best one can within whatever limited options there are? Even if things don’t go well, push through this ditch, then try hard afterward to have more choices for yourself. That’s not so bad either…”

Situ Sheng was quiet for a moment, then finally opened his mouth: “You’ve said so much to me. What exactly are you trying to say?”

Chu Linlang blinked and said: “I mean — even if you, my lord, appear at this moment to command wind and call rain, to be the nation’s indispensable pillar of support, you are still a person who grew from a small child, bit by bit. There will always be moments of powerlessness. When you cannot achieve the very best, don’t be too hard on yourself — don’t go to war with yourself. Even a lowly ant like me understands what it means to take the long view and work toward things little by little. My lord, if you keep tying yourself in knots like this, your life will be too short, and you won’t live to see the good days… Oh dear, I’ve said the wrong thing again — your nose bridge is so strong and prominent, anyone can see you’ll live to a hundred! I won’t ramble anymore. My lord, please rest early!”

Having said all that, without waiting for Situ Sheng to order her out again, she immediately lifted her skirts and made her escape at a trot.

She knew it was no use — stubborn souls never listened to anyone’s persuasion. Even Zhou Sui’an, foolish as he was, would sometimes refuse to heed her counsel. She had no expectation of talking a man as deeply deliberate as Situ Sheng around to her way of thinking.

She had been meddlesome — couldn’t help blurting out a few words. She only hoped that knife hadn’t rusted. What if the wound got infected?

She had gone a little way down the path when she reached her own room door and turned to look back — and found that the lamp in the study, not far away, had not gone out.

In the candlelight behind the lattice window, a silhouette sat motionless, then slowly reached out a hand to pick up the bowl. After bringing it to his nose and inhaling once, the figure began eating the fried rice she had made, spoonful by spoonful.

Chu Linlang let out a soft laugh, thinking that these men — every single one of them — were like stubborn mules, going backward when pulled forward and refusing to budge when beaten!

She let out a quiet breath of relief and turned to go back to her own room.

The next morning, when she went to the kitchen, she found that even the cold leftover dishes from the night before had been eaten clean.

But that person, like his manservant, had tossed the dirty bowls helter-skelter all over the basin!

And seeing the lord’s expression as calm as usual, Guanqi was taken entirely by surprise and overjoyed.

In the past, whenever Situ Sheng’s spirits sank low, going days and nights without eating or drinking, shutting himself away alone — that was his normal state.

Guanqi had already steeled himself to request leave from the Court of Judicial Review the following day, yet to his utter amazement, the master had recovered so quickly. He was up and out early in the morning, leading him off as if nothing at all had happened — truly a weight off Guanqi’s chest.

Only just before they left, Guanqi still felt a little uneasy, and standing in the courtyard, cast a glance at the master’s neatly bandaged right hand and said with careful concern: “My lord, if you’re feeling unwell, it might be better to take a few days of leave and rest?”

Guanqi was rendered speechless. He said in a small voice: “Your mood… is it a bit better?”

Situ Sheng cast a glance at the woman in the courtyard, who was putting on a show of beating the hung-out quilts with a stick, and said with cool detachment: “I’m not some sniveling infant. Not some spineless good-for-nothing. What mood is there to speak of being better or worse?”

That woman had a point — he was no longer the powerless child who could only vent his feelings on clay dolls. Rather than wallowing in self-pity, he was better off settling his mind and plotting carefully…

A grown man, surely, couldn’t let himself be outdone by a weak woman who had nearly been sold off by her own father?

Chu Linlang hid her face behind the quilt she was beating and hung out to dry, yet couldn’t help letting her eyes roll toward the heavens at the man’s retreating back: the Deputy Minister certainly was a small-minded soul who couldn’t stand to be talked about! The moment a chance presented itself, he had to get the last word back!

Some character! Next time he acted up and refused to eat at the proper hour, making her get up in the middle of the night to cook an extra meal — she’d charge him triple wages!

—

Back to the household manager, Chu Linlang: aside from the occasional need to counsel her employer through a fit of brooding in the middle of the night, life in Ji Cui Alley was, in truth, quite easy and light.

Situ Sheng had no habit of eating early. He would typically rise at the fourth watch, wash and dress without disturbing the household manager or the maidservants, and slip away quietly to court.

He was accustomed to eating breakfast at the official office with Guanqi, and in the ordinary run of the day, Guanqi alone was sufficient for his needs — in most circumstances, there was truly no call to put the household manager or maidservants to any trouble.

And so the household manager, with a thick skin, could almost every day sleep in shamelessly until full daylight.

Chu Linlang now had no mother-in-law to attend to, no family meals and household expenses to manage, and no need to keep herself on constant tenterhooks over her husband’s every misstep in official life.

Having become a servant in someone else’s household, aside from the occasional cooking when Situ Sheng came home, she was actually more free and at ease than she had been as a so-called official’s wife — truly beyond anything she could have anticipated.

Still, having taken on the role of household manager at the Deputy Minister’s residence, she couldn’t afford to be too slack — she needed to find things to occupy herself.

Chu Linlang remembered that Situ Sheng also had twenty-some acres of official land on the outskirts of the capital.

Given Situ Sheng’s attitude of indifference toward money and neglect of his residence, he had most likely not even visited that official land once.

So, after consulting with Lord Situ, Chu Linlang one day brought her two maidservants to take a look at the official land on the outskirts of the capital.

Before long, the scandal of the Xie family’s daughter had once again spread from the mouths of An family’s maids and servant women to the outside world. Madam He, ever the one to keep her ear to the ground, had naturally heard every detail.

The last time she had made it, Lord Situ had seemed to enjoy it very much — only Guanqi had no sense when it came to food, not knowing to set some aside for his master. It seemed she would need to make a larger batch this time…

From what Madam He said, this reposting, though a lateral transfer, was to a county on the outskirts of the capital. Next year a slight further promotion would be possible, which was far preferable to grinding it out in a remote region.

The Deputy Minister’s residence had neither a driver nor horses — when he needed a carriage, he always used one from the official office. So Chu Linlang hired a cart, and she and her two maidservants jolted along until they reached the outskirts of the capital.

Madam He laughed and said quietly: “Things in the grand households of the capital travel faster than even the rumors in country villages! Who doesn’t know about Director Zhou’s being nearly summoned to the Court of Judicial Review for questioning? Who in their right mind repudiates a long-suffering wife without good reason? Plenty of curious people out there. And as for what kind of relatives the Xie family keeps — they’re leaking things from inside their own household!”

So this scandal, which both families had been so determined to keep tightly sealed, had been leaked by that troublemaker of an aunt from the Xie family.

When Chu Linlang had agreed to the separation from Zhou Sui’an, she had already considered that he would one day remarry. Since that was the case, she had naturally resolved not to make a scene on his wedding day.

It turned out this Prefect Li had come up through the Prince’s network of associates. His demotion had been undeserved — he had simply been caught in the crossfire.

She only wondered: how many pairs of eyes today, during the ceremony, would be stealthily looking at Second Miss Xie’s belly and waiting to see how it played out…

Now hearing Madam He say she had been too timid, Chu Linlang only gave a small smile: “I am not you, Madam He — I have no family to rely on. If I had made enemies of all those people, what good would it have done me? I took the silver and the shops, and I get to live my own life in peace and ease — isn’t that far better?”

Chu Linlang noticed the unusual expressions on both their faces and asked: “From the sound of it, is there a wedding procession up ahead?”

As for the boundaries of the official land — once they had re-measured and re-surveyed the land, they would reestablish the boundary markers and would not dare shortchange the Deputy Minister’s residence by a single fraction.

Having settled the matters of the official land, Chu Linlang also went to the nearby village and bought some mountain produce, fresh eggs, a fat duck, and a large freshly cut piece of wild boar.

Glancing at her husband waddling along at the back of the procession, holding his belly and sweating profusely, she found it too embarrassing to keep up with him. She deliberately slowed her steps and fell back to the roadside — and happened to catch sight of Chu Linlang.

Madam He was a thorough gossip. Now, with such an upheaval in the Zhou family, she was even more eager to know all the details and hoped to get some fresh tidbits straight from Chu Linlang’s mouth.

So Chu Linlang sat in the carriage thinking through the evening’s menu: first, a mushrooms simmered in lard fat; then, a braised pork belly with yellow rice wine; and if time allowed, some fragrant scallion oil flatbreads.

Taking the land deed for the official land, Chu Linlang carefully cross-referenced it against the actual land and discovered that of the original twenty acres, quite a large portion had been encroached upon by neighboring official estates. The grain rent reported in previous years was also consistently short.

Going there and asking, the manager and tenant farmers of the official land had indeed never seen the Deputy Minister in person.

Aunt An’s husband, An Guangquan, held an official position in the outskirts of the capital — a minor one, but as it happened he also knew Madam He’s husband.

There was no need to eat at the banquet now. She told her maidservant to go and let her husband know, then took Chu Linlang by the hand and headed first to a nearby wine house for tea.

To think that two old friends who had known each other in their younger years would reunite on the busy streets of the capital!

But Zhao Shi felt that her son was this time marrying a woman from a distinguished family, and could not be made to appear shabby and small-minded. She actually dug out all her savings to put on a lavish affair, and had her son send out invitations far and wide, seizing the opportunity to collect gift money.

This way, not only the Zhou family’s relatives and friends but many officials on good terms with the Xie family also received Zhou Sui’an’s invitations.

Chu Linlang also hadn’t expected the Xie family to be so careless about keeping secrets. A scandal this private — and even Madam He, who had just returned from the countryside, had heard it in full.

And now he was promoted and honored, riding a red wedding procession with a high palanquin and fine horses, celebrating a wedding night in the bridal chamber — all the proud triumphs of life finally making up for the lack of ceremony when he had first married a merchant’s daughter in poverty.

Only that man on horseback, dressed in red and radiant — his spring-breeze smile not ceasing as he bowed in salute to the crowds on every side…

After a war of words, the several field overseers admitted defeat and bowed in apology, saying the people keeping the accounts below had made errors in the figures, and that the difference would be made up later.

Chu Linlang was startled by this and hastily asked where she had heard it from.

But Madam He felt her husband was making a spectacle of himself — at his age, why on earth did he need to grovel in front of a former subordinate who had risen in the world? It was simply humiliating!

Since the employer wished to eat and asked Guanqi to heat it on the warming stove, he could soak it over the cold rice and have a warm bite.

The sound of music was bright and clear in her ears, yet somehow it only made her feel a little unsettled.

She was indignant on Linlang’s behalf and gave her a slap on the back: “You! You earned the name of a fierce woman for nothing — holding that kind of leverage over them, why not make the whole thing blow up? You actually gave up the position of first wife to her — are you out of your mind?”

Many a high official had been broken under the instruments of the Court of Judicial Review. Now before them stood this female household manager with both eyes gleaming bright — impossible to bluff and get past. Keep denying everything and it was nothing short of asking to be hauled to the Court of Judicial Review and put to the rack yourself.

Once this private gossip spread, of course it traveled fast. Aunt An somehow knew the walls had ears, yet paid no attention whatsoever to keeping the mouths of those beneath her household shut.

Situ Sheng had been very busy lately, and from what Guanqi said, even at the official office Situ Sheng often missed mealtimes, frequently eating cold food.

Bear in mind that a Fifth-rank official, while not grand in status, stood in the Court of Judicial Review — the hall of the god of death, capable of summoning any official for questioning.

Thinking back to when she and Zhou Sui’an had married — so meager that there hadn’t even been a proper palanquin, let alone a grand building under bright tiles. Only in a humble thatched dwelling, with a pair of red candles, a red cloth, two young people in a cold and desolate room kneeling to bow to each other in the wedding rite — and accidentally bumping each other’s foreheads, then clasping hands and laughing like fools…

Someone had sustained a hand injury, and they ought to eat well to help the healing.

She didn’t want to look anymore. She turned to leave — and then a hand grabbed her wrist, as a voice called out in happy surprise: “Madam Zhou! Of all places to run into you here!”

But Madam He was not one to concede. She had spent a lifetime bravely fighting a houseful of concubines — she never admitted defeat.

But Madam He smiled, full of meaning: “You… you’re just too kind-hearted for your own good. That Xie family daughter — she entered the door already carrying a child, didn’t she?”

Chu Linlang looked up and saw — why, it was an acquaintance from Lianzhou — Madam He, the Prefect’s wife!

Before his former superior, able at last to hold his head high — that too was one of life’s rare satisfactions. So Zhou Sui’an received his old superior with great warmth. For this wedding to welcome his new bride, he had also extended a heartfelt invitation to the former Prefect Li.

Today the accounts had come out cleanly and to her satisfaction. By her estimate, they should be able to return early today.

At the time, when those officials of Lianzhou had all been capsized in one fell swoop, none had been spared — even the naturally cautious Prefect had been demoted.

Only the wedding party of the two families had quite a few relatives and friends between them, and there were some who couldn’t fit in the accompanying carriages.

It was just as she was thinking these things that she heard the noise and commotion up ahead, and the carriage was blocked by the crowd — temporarily unable to move forward.

Chu Linlang heard this and first startled, then understood: what Dongxue was talking about must be Zhou Sui’an’s wedding to the Xie family’s second daughter.

As word had gotten out that Second Miss Xie had been involved in a relationship before the wedding, one by one they murmured and gossiped around her.

Dongxue jumped down from the carriage to squeeze through to the front and see what was going on, and ran back before long. She whispered first to Xia He, and the two exchanged glances, seeming uncertain whether to tell Madam Chu.

Moreover, someone like Chu Linlang — who had worked so hard to support her husband’s rise to become a capital official — how could she have been in her right mind to let him go with her own hands?

Prefect Li was no one in the capital’s crowded ranks of officials. The old man was quite sensible — he didn’t ride in the wedding procession carriage at all, but tagged along among the groomsmen’s attendants just to make up numbers. He was short of breath from waddling all the way with his large belly.

Dongxue nodded, and without caring that Xia He was tugging at her sleeve, said bluntly: “Someone’s wedding procession coming through — welcoming that vixen to the door!”

Once she had gotten down from the carriage, she inevitably glanced a few times at the wedding procession. Even though the Xie family seemed to have deliberately kept things low-key — no grand display of ten miles of red trousseau — the wedding palanquin, carriages, and the full procession were all in order.

When Chu Linlang had been unable to persuade Madam He to cut off correspondence, she had privately exchanged several letters with Madam He without Zhou Sui’an’s knowledge.

Though Chu Linlang had not said a word in response, Madam He, having tested the waters and observed Chu Linlang’s reactions, was now convinced that this scandalous rumor was true.

Added to that, she had heard that Zhou Sui’an had climbed to higher branches, actually separating from Madam Chu and taking a new wife — the younger sister of the Sixth Prince’s consort. She found it as disgusting as swallowing a fly.

Seeing that the carriage was blocked and couldn’t get through, Chu Linlang settled the fare with the driver, stepped down from the carriage, and prepared to take the alley behind the street as a shortcut to walk home.

But over many years, the old Prefect had accumulated a substantial fortune. After grinding it out as a county magistrate for a year in a hardship posting, and after some painful personal expenditures in bribes and connections, the former Prefect had finally managed to turn the tables. He was reassigned to a county near the capital as the county magistrate.

After being reassigned to the outskirts of the capital, Prefect Li naturally moved about in the capital, keeping in touch with old acquaintances, and in the course of things reconnected with his former subordinate Zhou Sui’an.

Chu Linlang composed her expression, and for a moment thought: had she been at fault toward Zhou Sui’an all along?

By the count of days, it was about time, too — any longer, and that belly would be impossible to hide.

The household at the An family was also crowded with concubines and attendants, and the ears and eyes were plentiful. On the night An Shi and her husband came home quarreling loudly after the scene at the Xie residence, two concubines who had been crouching by the wall listening overheard everything.

These few had assumed that because she was a young woman, they could talk their way past her — no such luck!

She wanted to go home and make him some duck fat broth. Now that the weather was cold, duck fat congealed in a small clay pot — easy to bring along without spilling.

Zhou Sui’an now outranked his old superior, but fortunately Prefect Li had not been like the Zhang Xian sort — he had never made things difficult for Zhou Sui’an in the past. When they met again, they could exchange bows without awkwardness.

Chu Linlang had no intention of speaking about the scandal of the Zhou and Xie families — after all, she had accepted the Xie family’s compensation, so there was no need to let her mouth run freely.

Right now it was winter, and not much was growing. But she had long since inquired thoroughly with the managers of the surrounding residences and estates about last year’s rainfall and how the several annual grain crops near the capital had fared.

Who would have thought that the very person before her was the one who had made her fortune from buying and selling farmland? She had personally managed the family’s fields back in her old home.

That manager had originally tried to use certain unwritten customs of the land trade to muddle things over with this young Madam Chu.

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