Tan Jin heard a muffled thud.

Several meters away from Lin Shilan, he watched her collapse to the ground.

She fell straight onto the cement floor with a loud sound, her legs and face both hitting hard.

He immediately ran over and cradled her head.

But the situation was even more serious than he’d imagined. Lin Shilan’s exposed arms were ice cold, and no matter how he called to her, there was no response.

Throwing down his umbrella and backpack in one motion, Tan Jin picked her up and ran toward the infirmary in another building.

His whole body breaking out in cold sweat, he descended the stairs and stepped into the rainwater.

Fine, dense rain fell on her face as the person in his arms furrowed her brow tightly.

Lin Shilan felt so cold, with a ball of fire burning in her abdomen.

She was a block of ice thrown into a roaring fire, her melting limbs crackling and snapping.

So painful.

Someone picked her up, but he held her unsteadily.

Her body felt like a sandbag, leaking sand with every breath.

Where was he taking her?

Her breathing grew heavier and heavier, the road so bumpy it made her want to vomit.

Her sandbag body kept falling, falling to the floor.

Unable to bear the burden, a large hole broke open in the sandbag’s abdomen, and all the chaotic thoughts in her mind leaked out through the rupture: cherries swallowed without chewing, prayer beads rolling all over the floor, an English exam paper covered in red X marks, a certificate for leave from school, burning talisman paper, a lively old hen, eyes filled with doubt, colorful pills…

In times of pain, she most wanted to dream of home.

Her consciousness floated empty. Lin Shilan drifted lightly up in the rain, floating in the sea of her own memories, shuttling through various fragmented memory pieces, searching for the direction of home.

She drifted into torrential rain, drifted past streets and alleys, back to the small room in the petrochemical factory dormitory. She climbed onto her own small bed, hid under the blanket, the blanket covering her from head to toe, planning to sleep here forever.

Someone kept calling her name in her ear.

Lin Shilan turned over, breaking away from that person, from that uncomfortable embrace, lying down on the comfortable bed.

She decided not to acknowledge anyone.

The outside world was terrifying. Sleeping was good. When asleep, her stomach didn’t hurt; when asleep, she didn’t need to worry about schoolwork, didn’t need to worry about poor grades, didn’t need to worry about what others thought of her, didn’t need to save the world. If she was asleep, even if she accomplished nothing, she wouldn’t be scolded.

She knew it was raining in the world outside home, raining very hard all the time.

The sound of rain was the best sleeping pill. Rain was good. Rain was as good as sleeping. When it rained heavily, she didn’t have to go to school or tutoring class, could stay home and sleep, and even while sleeping, she remained the most well-behaved child.

“Don’t be afraid, Lin Shilan, the ambulance will be here soon.”

“You’ll be fine. You said every time you’re fine, right?”

Someone was talking to her, their voice anxious.

His palm pressed against her forehead, warm.

Who was he?

Lin Shilan wanted to see clearly. She opened her eyes.

Climbing up from the small bed in the petrochemical factory, through the thick curtain of rain, she looked toward where the voice came from.

It turned out to be the round-faced boy who lived in the building next door.

He clung to the window, talking to her: “Do you like rain too?”

Yes. Lin Shilan answered him in her heart: I love rain the most.

Supporting her chin with both hands, she was in a good mood watching the rain together with him across the way.

“What about what happened in the second year?”

At some point, the round-faced boy had sat down beside her.

They sat in the stir-fry restaurant in the university district, with drinks and food laid out before them.

The wine glass in her hand was empty. She asked: “What second year?”

He filled her glass: “Didn’t you just finish telling about the first time you traveled through time? So in the second year when you traveled back to the past, what did you do?”

“Oh.” She continued describing to him.

“The second year, when I returned to the past, I still tried to get people to evacuate and seek refuge. By this time in reality, I no longer had any friends or relatives to rely on. No one would listen to me anymore. Everyone at school was afraid of me because there were rumors that I was possessed and could see dirty things.”

“In both the past and reality, my schoolwork was a complete mess. I had no life at all, living on subsidies, skipping classes terribly. The only thing I was certain I possessed was the sensation of pain. I even did an experiment… injuries left on my arm in the past self, when I returned to reality, there was nothing on my arm; and injuries left in reality also wouldn’t exist in the past. Because of the pain, I knew what I experienced wasn’t a dream.”

“Why was I still alive? I often asked myself this. What difference was there between the past and future for me? Either way, I was like a walking corpse. But when the flood really came, because I feared pain, I still didn’t want to die. I knew that even if I ran to another city, once the rain in reality stopped, I would still be transported back. So I started stockpiling supplies for the disaster, making preparations. As a result, during the flood, others stole my things, and I still didn’t survive.”

Lin Shilan felt there wasn’t much else to tell: “The second year, another year passed without accomplishing anything. That’s about it.”

Tan Jin seemed not yet satisfied: “Was it this year you started seeing a psychologist?”

“Yes.”

That year, she mustered her courage and scheduled an appointment with the school’s psychological counseling.

The wine glass she was holding turned into a ball of tissues, the dining table she leaned on became a pure white desk.

Lin Shilan was in the psychology office, facing the stern-faced health teacher sitting across from her.

He said to her: “Student Lin Shilan, your symptoms are too severe. I can only provide simple psychological counseling here. You need to go to a psychiatric hospital for your condition.”

Lin Shilan anxiously twisted the tissue: “Teacher, what illness do I roughly have?”

Checking the information on the paper, the teacher spoke: “PTSD, delusional disorder—probably something like that.”

She lowered her head and asked quietly: “Then where should I go for treatment?”

“Absolutely not.”

The middle-aged woman slammed the table, decisively blocking her idea of seeking treatment.

Lin Shilan looked up.

Lu Xiaorong stood in their cramped dining room, hands on her hips.

“I can’t afford to lose face like that. If you see a doctor, everyone will know my daughter is a lunatic.”

“Rui Rui, you’ve already finished the college entrance exam, your grades are so good, everyone envies you. You’d throw away such a bright future to see a doctor, to become a lunatic? Do you want to be laughed at by everyone?”

This was a conversation that had occurred between Lin Shilan and her mother when she returned to the past in the second year.

When no one in the entire world would listen to her anymore, she told her secret to her mother. Maybe her mother could understand? She had a heart-to-heart talk with her mother. How much she hoped her mother could help her.

“Good Rui Rui, you’re not sick. You’re just under a bit of pressure. It’s normal for people taking the college entrance exam to be under pressure.”

“Those who really need to see a doctor are the ones holding knives trying to stab people, convulsing on the floor, shouting in the streets—those are the mentally ill.”

Lu Xiaorong’s mouth opened and closed, moving constantly. Lin Shilan listened silently.

“Let me tell you, in the class I teach, there’s a little girl who really admires you. That citywide essay competition you won first place in before? She also participated and only got a consolation prize.”

“All my colleagues know you’re taking the college entrance exam this year. Those gossipy people even sent me text messages asking how your score was. Haha, I sent them your score to look at. It really made them sour. They asked me how I educated you. They don’t understand—being good at studying is innate. You’re not the same as their children. Besides, I’ve been watching you since childhood, managing you under my watch as you grew up. They can’t learn it even if they try. Which parent can do what I’ve done?”

“Now we’ve really held our heads high. A child without a father, a minor subject teacher’s child—still excellent. You have the ability to attend the most prestigious university. Their jealousy is useless. They’re curious about what school you’re applying to, but I won’t tell them. Hmph, anyway, they can’t imagine how good our future will be.”

Lin Shilan’s fingertips hooked her own hair, pulling it downward, not feeling any pain at all. Her heart was like a plant that hadn’t been watered for a long time, gradually withering and drying up.

“Mom, why do we talk about these things every day? I have no interest at all in what you’re saying. I don’t want to hear it at all.”

“Mom, I really love you so much, but you make me so miserable. Mom, why did you work so hard to raise me after Dad died?”

“It’s not just you—I feel so exhausted too. If only your daughter were someone else, someone more obedient and smarter than me, someone who could satisfy you more.”

Her words made her mother tremble with rage.

Lu Xiaorong collapsed onto the table, covering her face and weeping.

Lin Shilan wanted to come over and comfort her, but her mother pointed at the door and told her to get out.

In the rain, Lin Shilan ran out.

She went to the most familiar place outside of home—her school.

Rain poured down heavily. She ran across the playground, past classroom after classroom. In the sound of rain, teachers and students turned their backs to her, whispering. Black monsters dragging long tails followed close behind.

Everywhere was unbearably noisy.

Lin Shilan hid in the school auditorium.

But she still wasn’t the only person here.

Some distance from her, by the window in the auditorium, stood a couple.

The rain outside the window was so heavy. Looking from her position, it seemed the trees and buildings outside were all floating in an ocean.

Choosing such a time to meet at school, they must be lovers. Not wanting to disturb them, Lin Shilan huddled in a corner, staying quietly.

The girl closer to her had a full figure and carried a light yellow backpack.

The boy with his back to her called the girl Su Ge.

She didn’t hear clearly what they said before, until Lin Shilan noticed that the boy’s back looked very familiar.

She looked a few more times and recognized him… it was Tan Jin.

Coincidentally, the rain sound diminished, and their conversation reached her ears.

Her fingers twisting the corner of her school uniform, Su Ge said sullenly: “Stop liking her. Like me instead.”

“Huh?” Tan Jin was stunned.

Her voice carried bashful timidity: “When I grow up, I’ll be smarter and more beautiful than Lin Shilan.”

Tan Jin didn’t respond, as if he hadn’t heard.

Su Ge sighed: “I’m going home.”

Taking small steps, she walked dejectedly out of the auditorium.

As her figure was swept into the howling wind and rain, Tan Jin suddenly came alert.

“That’s fine then.” He said to her retreating back.

…

Lin Shilan opened her eyes from the hospital bed.

The boy who had just been standing in the auditorium now sat by her bed, concentrating intently on peeling an apple.

Her body felt like a deflated ball, without any strength. She tried to lift her hand and discovered it was connected to an IV tube, receiving an infusion.

Pain.

She could feel pain.

—Those chaotic scenes just now had been a dream.

She also roughly knew why she’d dreamed of past events. They were all things weighing on her heart before she passed out.

Noticing Lin Shilan’s eyes had opened, Tan Jin excitedly stood up, nearly dropping the apple.

“You’re finally awake.”

She spoke, her throat painfully dry: “I’m in the hospital?”

“Yes, you had food poisoning and went into shock. I took you to the school infirmary, but it was too serious, so the infirmary teacher called an ambulance to bring you to the hospital. And you said you were fine before. Let me tell you, all those times you were fine were just luck.”

During the few hours she was unconscious, Tan Jin seemed to have been holding everything in.

As soon as she woke, he immediately started talking to her endlessly.

“Your mother came earlier and left again, saying she was going home to make you porridge. I think you shouldn’t eat anything she makes. During this period, you need to be extra careful about food and drink.”

“Oh, also, the doctor wants you to get a gastroscopy when you wake up.”

Lin Shilan nodded.

After the gastroscopy, it would most likely reveal chronic gastritis. She knew her body had this problem.

The apple had originally been peeled by Tan Jin for himself. Seeing Lin Shilan awake, he finished peeling off the last bit of apple skin and offered it to her.

“Want some?”

“No.”

Tan Jin sat down and ate the apple.

Her next sentence made his apple lose all flavor.

“What was the content of the vow you made to Su Ge?”

“I don’t know. How could I possibly know?” The chunk of apple in his mouth didn’t know whether to be chewed or swallowed. Tan Jin looked at her: “Why are you asking this?”

“Just asking casually.”

She smiled faintly at him: “Thank you for taking me to the hospital today.”