Do you truly know yourself?
Before Qu Zhengfeng asked this question, Jian Chou thought she did: In the Western Sea’s Chanzong, because of her past self transforming into a demon, she gained an opportunity and comprehended the path of “I,” believing that all the various selves of yesterday had become today’s self, and that the present self was the true self. But when Qu Zhengfeng actually asked this question, she opened her mouth to answer, yet suddenly found herself speechless.
This question seemed simple, but when it came time to answer, she felt she had nowhere to begin.
Qu Zhengfeng didn’t rush her either, just looked up at her like this, his eyes revealing some undisguised scrutiny.
Jian Chou’s brow gradually furrowed.
After a while, she said with certainty: “I may not necessarily know myself, but I dare say I understand myself. I know what kind of temperament I have, what aspirations I hold, what things I want to do, and what choices I would make in different circumstances. If ordinary people understand themselves six parts out of ten, I should have eight parts.”
This wasn’t arrogance, but confidence.
When she declared to heaven that “my path is myself,” she had already surpassed countless hidebound cultivators in this world, reaching a level difficult for ordinary people to attain.
Yet even so, she didn’t dare speak with complete certainty.
So Qu Zhengfeng burst out laughing: “You certainly have guts—to dare speak such wild words as eight parts!”
“Perhaps it’s not eight parts, only seven parts, six parts, or even five or four parts, but it’s still about two parts more than most people in the world.” Jian Chou didn’t mind how Qu Zhengfeng evaluated her, naturally not getting angry. “It’s just that since His Majesty the Sword Emperor asked me this question, you must think you know yourself?”
“Quite the contrary—I know nothing about myself.”
Before him were jade plates of delicacies and wine-filled cups. Qu Zhengfeng’s wide sleeves hung down somewhat from the table, swaying gently when the wind blew, also causing him to look toward the gloomy sky in the night outside the building.
“But I understand this world!”
World refers to time;
Realm refers to space.
This world means this universe!
These words came lightly from Qu Zhengfeng’s mouth, like the most ordinary sigh countless sages had made when looking up at the galaxy since ancient times, yet they gave one a heart-stopping feeling!
Who would dare claim—
To understand this world?!
Jian Chou sat upright across from this long table, and upon hearing his words clearly, her pupils suddenly contracted sharply, looking at him with almost incredulous eyes.
But Qu Zhengfeng laughed out loud.
He seemed to know the waves this sentence had stirred in Jian Chou’s heart, and when he turned to see her reaction, he was extremely calm.
“Heaven and earth are vast. You are human, but merely one among countless humans. Humans in the world are merely one kind among countless existences. When humans are first born, they come naked into the world, fearing death while craving life, crying when hungry for food, wailing when thirsty for water, making noise when not given what they want, and when given something, they consume it without any scruples—their nature is no different from all other unintelligent creatures in the world. As years increase, they come to know that the world has rules, cause and effect, right and wrong. They seek to satisfy hunger and thirst from outside, desires arise from within the heart, but they dare not violate worldly rules. Over time, they develop concepts of good and evil, distinctions between righteous and wicked, discernment of honor and shame. What people call ‘gentleman and sage nature’ rises above the desires of basic nature—even when hungry, they won’t steal a neighbor’s food; even facing death, they won’t violate ethical principles.”
When he spoke to this point, he added several parts mockery.
“When mortals are born into the world, survival is instinct—there’s no guilt in stealing or robbing. Later they discover that stealing and robbing come with consequences, so they use methods conforming to worldly rules to satisfy their desires. But between heaven and earth there are also principles that people commonly recognize. Over time, these principles become permanent in the heart, and can even make you forcibly suppress your desires, even willing to die…”
One is basic nature, one is compromise, one is transcendence.
“You say you understand yourself eight parts—do you know your basic nature, what desires you have, and what constrains you?”
Qu Zhengfeng had been drinking for half the night and was actually somewhat intoxicated, but on this eve before storm clouds gathered, the wine had reached just the right point.
Then he asked her with pointed meaning.
“Also, do you agree with this world’s so-called righteousness and goodness, justice and principles? And do you think that if one day survival conflicts with principles, you would choose to sacrifice your life, preferring to die rather than compromise so-called ‘principles’?”
“…”
Jian Chou fell into long silence.
Atop the high building, there wasn’t a trace of starlight in the heights of Mingri Xinghai, but in this vast basin, many lights still burned, appearing from afar as a twinkling brilliance.
People might be simple, but human nature is very complex.
Though Qu Zhengfeng had only spoken these words, she thought of many things. In this brief yet long moment, countless thoughts surged and gathered.
She suddenly understood what Qu Zhengfeng truly wanted to say.
He wanted to tell her that there were originally no justice and principles in the world—they only came about because there were many people in the world, while survival and desire were everyone’s most primitive nature. When the needs of one nature conflicted with the needs of another nature, the world’s so-called “rules” were born. For rules to effectively and orderly maintain most people’s survival and desires, they would further evolve under human promotion, finally becoming so-called “justice” and “principles.”
Jian Chou vaguely sensed that some things originally in her heart were beginning to waver, beginning to peel away, while something new slowly flowed in, gradually filling the gaps left by the wavering and peeling.
The wine cup on the table had been sitting for a while—she hadn’t touched it.
But in this silent moment, she looked for a long time, finally reaching out to pick it up and slowly drinking it all.
The mellow wine was somewhat too strong.
She didn’t know what immortal medicines and grains it was brewed from, but beyond its sweetness, it carried a faint bitter taste.
The wine burned wherever it went down her throat.
Only after putting down the cup did she say: “You want to tell me that we humans are originally no different from all things in heaven and earth—craving life and fearing death. It’s only because humans mutually constrain each other that there are distinctions of righteous and evil, good and bad. Moreover, human righteousness and evil, good and bad, are not the good and evil of other things in the world. Human standards are not the standards for measuring all things. It’s only because humans have spirituality that they conceived countless rules to constrain themselves. But other things don’t have this—all their nature is the basic nature and beast nature of humans when first born into heaven and earth for survival and desire. Or rather, you want me to cast aside justice and principles to examine the basic nature and beast nature already hidden in my heart.”
“Worthy of someone who successfully underwent Heart-Questioning with a Heavenly Void constitution—you understand at a single point.” Qu Zhengfeng began to find this interesting, because he sensed it—he sensed Jian Chou’s resistance. “But you seem unwilling to directly face your basic nature, or perhaps you don’t want to face your basic nature in front of me?”
“Even if I have basic nature and beast nature, that was during my past ignorant times. I know I have them, but I needn’t look back. What makes me who I am includes all of this—the original me, the compromising me, and the transcendent me. All past causes have become today’s me. It’s not that I’m unwilling to directly face my basic nature, or even beast nature, nor will I return to basic nature and beast nature. Worldly rules may be constraints, but they’ve already penetrated my heart and been carved into my bones—even wanting to change would be difficult.”
Jian Chou paused to think, then suddenly gained some understanding.
“A frog in a well only knows the world at the bottom of the well. Humans in this world, even with heaven-reaching and earth-penetrating abilities, can only understand this world and cannot transcend it. Humans in the human world are the same.”
“Then don’t you understand quite clearly?” Qu Zhengfeng raised his long eyebrows, looking at her with penetrating comprehension, quite playful at this moment. “You’re very clearly aware that you have your own position. Unless you start over completely, the current you is the you of the human world—this cannot be forced. So why do you insist on forcing it, insist on asking about righteousness and evil, good and bad, and ultimate principles different from those of the human world?”
He picked up the wine pot, hooked it on his fingertips, lightly tapping it. After a while, Qu Zhengfeng said: “Unless what you care about isn’t just this world’s so-called ultimate principles…”
Jian Chou suddenly fell into silence. After a long time, she suddenly smiled, and when she looked back at him, her gaze was completely frank: “You’re absolutely right. I am indeed forcing it, insisting on asking. It’s true I want to know this world’s ultimate principles, but the cause isn’t the principles themselves—it’s because I encountered a problem I couldn’t answer, not knowing where I should go or what would be right to do. Firstly, being within the situation, I cannot separate from all the principles and justice of the human world. Secondly, I’m constrained by human emotions and have developed doubts about certain principles, unable to make decisions. Fundamentally, it’s because I care. I remember decades ago, when I was still at Yashan, I received a thunder message beside Guihe Well. His Majesty the Sword Emperor was also present then. I asked if he wasn’t afraid this message came from demons, but you asked me back—in my opinion, what is demonic evil…”
“…”
This time, it was suddenly Qu Zhengfeng who fell into silence. His deep, cold eyes carried the dignity accumulated from years of ruling Xinghai, just looking at Jian Chou like this. After a very long time, he finally laughed out loud.
“So it’s him…”