“Take a two-year leave of absence, don’t drop out.”

The counselor’s expression was grave as she earnestly advised Qiu Xing: “The school will keep your records, and you can come back when your family matters are resolved. Don’t be impulsive. What if your family situation improves? You’ll regret it if you can’t return later.”

The counselor was a female teacher in her forties, easygoing, who had been very fond of Qiu Xing since military training.

When Qiu Xing was chosen as the freshman representative to speak at the front, she even took photos and posted them on her social media.

Qiu Xing didn’t look particularly disheveled, but his demeanor was noticeably haggard. In just over ten days, he had lost a lot of weight.

“Thank you, teacher.” Qiu Xing sat on the sofa, his gaze somewhat unfocused, looking lifeless, and said, “I’m dropping out.”

Dropping out wasn’t a small matter. It required signatures and parental notification.

Qiu Xing said, “I don’t have parents. I make my own decisions.”

The counselor knew what had happened to his family. Her heart ached, and she shed tears. Life was cruel—a student so vibrant and full of promise had suddenly lost everything.

In the end, the school couldn’t dissuade Qiu Xing, and he ended his brief identity as a college student.

The highway merged with the sky, seemingly endless.

Qiu Xing had once driven continuously for one hundred hours without eating or sleeping. He drove numbly and rigidly on the road, his eyes fixed ahead, not feeling tired.

Paying off debts became the only thing he needed to do; everything else held no meaning. He didn’t know where tomorrow would lead, nor could he envision the shape of his future. He had become a debt-repaying machine, mechanically driving a broken-down vehicle, carrying things like an ant.

His shoulders ached so badly he couldn’t lift them, his neck so stiff he couldn’t turn it. But Qiu Xing acted as though he couldn’t feel it, unwilling to stop.

In a rural village in the south, someone owed him payment for three truckloads of goods and was refusing to pay.

Qiu Xing pulled a steel pipe from his truck, carried it inside, and held it near the boss’s head. The look in his eyes—suggesting that no one should live—contained not a hint of pretense.

The short boss had initially planned to continue refusing payment, but after seeing the look in Qiu Xing’s eyes, he gave in.

Qiu Xing took the money, ran it through a counterfeit detector in the office, confirmed the amount was correct, then took the money and the steel pipe, got in his truck without a word, started the engine, and drove away.

That midnight in Daqing, the truck was so frozen it wouldn’t start, and no other vehicles passed by.

Qiu Xing’s fingers were so cold they wouldn’t bend. He sat motionless in the driver’s seat for a long time. The truck was as cold as an ice cave. Thick frost on the windows blocked his view; he couldn’t see the moon outside.

His legs had lost all feeling. Qiu Xing’s mind felt heavy, and he didn’t want to move anymore.

In truth, Qiu Xing had few attachments. His mother remained in the past—she hadn’t even lost Qiu Yangzheng yet, so naturally, she hadn’t lost her son either.

Even if she had neither husband nor son, the state wouldn’t leave a person with mental disorders unattended. She would spend the rest of her life peacefully in her little world.

Time passed slowly and coldly. Qiu Xing was approaching death.

If in a family the father died, the mother went insane, and the son froze to death on a remote road, the news would certainly cause a sensation—a true human tragedy.

Qiu Xing leaned back quietly. He could feel his blood flow slowing.

After an unknown amount of time, he took out his phone and dialed 110 with his stiff fingers.

He was just a bit tired. He wouldn’t leave his mother to the state’s care; after all, she still had a son.

If one day she became lucid and learned that her son was also gone, she would truly never wake up again.

That wouldn’t do.

During the first few days after Lin Yiran got into his truck, Qiu Xing often failed to notice her. Most of the time, Qiu Xing was silently immersed in his thoughts, unaware of his surroundings.

She was like a quiet little animal, always sitting in the passenger seat with her legs pulled up, silently gazing out the window, not speaking to Qiu Xing. Her eyes were often sorrowful, sometimes frightened, but she rarely cried.

Qiu Xing left her by the roadside and drove away.

In the rearview mirror, she grew smaller and smaller, standing in place with her backpack, enveloped in the rising dust.

She was very afraid, but she never begged Qiu Xing to keep her. She was dignified and resilient, never letting anyone see her vulnerability.

Qiu Xing was not in a position to be charitable.

Yet when Lin Yiran asked him for help, the self-contained Qiu Xing sent her his location almost without consideration.

When Lin Yiran opened the door and saw it was him, that instant look of salvation in her eyes made it impossible for Qiu Xing to abandon her again.

She began to slowly and discreetly make herself at home in his truck.

She kept the dilapidated truck cab clean, spread clean bed sheets and pillowcases, made herself a comfortable little bed, and made everything smell nice inside and out.

She followed Qiu Xing everywhere, like a shadow. No matter how dirty or chaotic the places Qiu Xing went, she would quietly watch him from nearby.

A little girl who loved cleanliness so much once went to a service area restroom that was unbearably dirty. When she returned, she still wrinkled her nose for a long time, silently taking out her towel to cover her face, smelling the fragrant scent in the towel.

Qiu Xing laughed at the time, and she turned to look at him, not knowing what he was laughing about. Qiu Xing’s expression was very gentle, and she stared at him, dazed, for a while.

As she gradually became familiar with Qiu Xing, the boundaries between them began to blur.

She trusted Qiu Xing unconditionally, her eyes always believing, without hesitation.

Qiu Xing didn’t take advantage of her. He was more restrained than she was. But being together twenty-four hours a day in such an enclosed space, they inevitably became intimate.

She was completely unaware of it; she was too young. She depended on Qiu Xing, blindly trusting him. She always cast her gentle gaze upon him, unguarded, pure, even affectionate.

If Qiu Xing hadn’t been constantly stretching this relationship, if Qiu Xing hadn’t been an upright person, they would have lost their purity long ago.

She always tied her hair up at the top of her head, with some loose strands around her neck. This hairstyle made her look like a child, younger, playful.

She grew more accustomed to living in the truck, buying large T-shirts and slippers, wearing flip-flops all day.

Once, before she could jump down from the truck, as she stretched out one leg, her slipper fell off.

She looked at the slipper wordlessly, hesitated, then called out to Qiu Xing, who had already walked several meters away.

Qiu Xing turned around to see her sitting there, one foot bare, looking at him with confusion.

Qiu Xing walked back with a smile, bent down to pick up the slipper, stood up straight, and slipped it onto her foot. Lin Yiran quickly lifted her foot and wiggled it to make sure the slipper was secure.

The smile in Qiu Xing’s eyes never faded. At that moment, completely instinctively, without thinking, he raised his arm and lifted her down.

After she landed, she was still visibly dazed, looking at Qiu Xing. The loose strands of hair around her neck danced in the wind.

That was the first time Qiu Xing wanted to kiss her.

Qiu Xing didn’t want to be in a relationship.

He wasn’t in a position for romance, so afterward, Qiu Xing deliberately distanced their relationship. The young girl’s face was written all over with innocence and naivety. Though she didn’t say anything, she was sensitive to Qiu Xing’s pushing away and was unwilling to accept it.

Qiu Xing wouldn’t abandon her again. He would make sure she attended school properly and grew up well. But he wouldn’t date her—he carried too many burdens. He had no tomorrow for himself and wouldn’t drag others down with him.

But no matter how rational and stubborn Qiu Xing was, he was still young.

In all those years before, the only time Qiu Xing completely wavered was that night.

That night, everything derailed—alcohol, fighting, running, darkness. After experiencing these moments that shook one’s rationality, Lin Yiran recklessly kissed him twice.

She hugged him tightly, her breath trembling, shivering in his arms.

After a brief struggle of just a few seconds, emotions ultimately broke through reason. Qiu Xing followed his heart, set aside everything in his mind, and kissed her.

It was an irreplaceable night, unique, impossible to recreate.

There were too many specific conditions present; without any one of them, this exceptional night would not have happened.

When Qiu Xing allowed it to happen, he truly decided to carry all of a girl’s burdens—her emotions, her life, including her debts. From then on, he acquired a new identity, more responsibility. Though the future wasn’t clear, he was determined to try.

That was also the only time in those years that Lin Yiran could sway Qiu Xing.

But she was too panicked at the time; she just wanted to keep Qiu Xing at any cost. She didn’t make the right judgment and didn’t want to use their intimacy to bind him.

Her tears extinguished the fire in Qiu Xing’s heart, and the absurd deal she proposed made Qiu Xing cool down quickly. Everything he had been considering became a joke.

The feelings he had struggled to bring forth were worthless; the other person didn’t want them at all.

After Qiu Xing regained his clarity, Lin Yiran never had another chance to change his mind.

Qiu Xing’s attitude wasn’t particularly enthusiastic, but he accompanied her well.

After she started school, Qiu Xing borrowed three hundred thousand from Old Lin, covering Lin Yiran’s debt. These three hundred thousand also put Qiu Xing in debt of gratitude, and while debts could be repaid, favors were harder to return.

Lin Yiran didn’t need to know any of this. She just needed to study well and live the life she was supposed to have.

Lin Yiran indeed lived up to expectations. She was both intelligent and hardworking, so outstanding, shining brilliantly at school.

She was like a flower beginning to open, gradually unfolding.

Her radiance couldn’t be hidden, yet she remained single-minded, focused on only two things from beginning to end.

One was writing, and the other was Qiu Xing.

As years passed, she grew up a lot, becoming mature and intellectual, with a gentle temperament. But the way she looked at Qiu Xing never changed—a soft, focused gaze, containing her direct emotions.

Qiu Xing couldn’t bear to pluck her and put her in his pocket. She should be free to bloom in an open place.

But she was like a fool, impossible to push away, impossible to drive off.

Their second three years were like those of a couple. Lin Yiran was no longer afraid of him; she had figured him out.

Qiu Xing had no bottom line when it came to her; Lin Yiran could do anything. When she realized this, she became bold, treating herself as a lover, assuming the role of a girlfriend.

She became cheerful around Qiu Xing, smiling every day.

She illuminated Qiu Xing’s world with clarity and brightness, but Qiu Xing hadn’t intended for her to stay here for long.

However, after a solid six years, Qiu Xing wasn’t so resolute anymore. He occasionally felt that living like this wasn’t so bad.

The day Lin Yiran came with the ring, Qiu Xing was completely unprepared.

She suddenly placed the ring before his eyes, and Qiu Xing didn’t take it.

At that time, both his hands were covered in black oil that couldn’t be washed off, just like his life that couldn’t go back. He stood silently for a moment, then pushed away Lin Yiran’s hand.

He used the back of his hand to push it away. He didn’t even touch the ring box, afraid of staining it black.

Lin Yiran didn’t shed tears, just hurriedly and frantically went back.

She tried hard to hide the hurt in her eyes. A girl who had taken the initiative to bring a ring for someone to put on her finger couldn’t even give it away.

Her feelings were held out in her hands, offered to Qiu Xing, and he didn’t take them.

In the time that followed, Qiu Xing recalled Lin Yiran’s expression countless times. Vulnerable, insecure, even incredulous.

She was a particularly stubborn girl. Once she decided on something, she persisted. Just as she had decided on Qiu Xing, she had tried everything over these years without letting go, using both gentle and firm approaches. Whenever Qiu Xing showed signs of backing away, her eyes filled with panic.

Qiu Xing kept recalling Lin Yiran’s eyes.

She was especially afraid of being left behind; she had so little.

Qiu Xing was wearing work clothes, with tasks waiting for him, yet he sat on a stack of tires, lost in thought.

Someone came over and asked, “Brother Qiu, what are you daydreaming about?”

Qiu Xing suddenly stood up and walked out, saying, “I’m going out for a while.”

“Where are you going, Brother Qiu?” someone asked him.

“I have something to do,” Qiu Xing said.

Qiu Xing took off his work clothes, grabbed his car keys, and left directly.

Before he had completely sorted everything out in his mind, he had already bought the ring.

The sales assistant smiled and asked, “Are you planning to give this to someone, sir?”

Qiu Xing said, “Yes.”

They asked again, “What style would you like? Is it a wedding ring?”

Qiu Xing thought for a moment and said, “An engagement ring.”

In the end, Qiu Xing chose a simple style, without diamonds, with a slightly understated design, very much in line with her temperament.

The wedding ring, Qiu Xing thought, she should choose herself.

Qiu Xing kept the ring in his pocket. Such a light little box, yet it weighed heavily on him.

Since buying the ring, Qiu Xing’s previous hesitations had vanished from his mind. What appeared now were images of calm and stability; the future gradually took shape.

A high school classmate was getting married, and many former classmates returned. Several close friends gathered for dinner the night before.

The couple about to marry had dated for four and a half years before finally deciding to wed.

Zhou Keke sat next to Qiu Xing and asked him, “When are you getting married?”

Qiu Xing leaned back against his chair and said, “Mind your own business.”

“I’m stable. I’ll marry once Xiaohei graduates,” Zhou Keke said. She had a younger boyfriend still in school, and they were always showing their affection.

Qiu Xing, with the ring in his pocket, spoke arrogantly, giving a laugh, “Then I’ll be there soon too.”

“You’re dreaming. You don’t even have a girlfriend,” Zhou Keke mocked him. “You spend all day in that repair shop where you can’t even see a girl. Who would be with you?”

“That’s none of your concern,” Qiu Xing said.

After a while, Zhou Keke seriously asked him, “I’m being serious, shall I introduce someone to you?”

Qiu Xing immediately said, “No need.”

“I have a friend who I think would suit you well. She’s very gentle, has a great temperament, has an elegant demeanor, and is beautiful too,” Zhou Keke found the idea increasingly suitable as she thought about it, smiling and saying, “Really, would you like to meet her?”

Qiu Xing listened with raised eyebrows, thinking, Why would I need your introduction?

Seeing that he wasn’t responding, Zhou Keke grew impatient and bumped his arm. “Well?”

Qiu Xing smiled and asked, “Lin Xiaozhou?”

“Who is Lin Xiaozhou?” Zhou Keke took a moment to understand. “You mean Yiran?”

She glared at Qiu Xing. “Why would I introduce her to you? You two already know each other.”

Qiu Xing’s face still held a hint of a smile. Zhou Keke continued, “Besides, it wouldn’t work anyway. Yiran is dating a guy from the year above me. I haven’t had a chance to ask her about it yet, but I need to catch up with her and have her treat me to a meal.”

Qiu Xing paused and turned to look at her.

“That guy is a genius from our school. Last year’s award-winning art film ‘Bitter Submission’ overseas? He wrote the screenplay. Super impressive,” Zhou Keke seemed quite satisfied, nodding and saying, “They make a good couple.”

Qiu Xing paused for a moment and asked her, “Where did you get this information?”

Zhou Keke picked up her phone, scrolled through it for a while, then sent an image to Qiu Xing’s phone.

It was a screenshot of a social media post.

—Remembering a lovely discussion about love.

Zhou Keke said the man was very accomplished, scholarly, and refined. The two of them were talented and beautiful, a perfect match made in heaven, and couldn’t be more suited for each other.

Qiu Xing saw them the next day.

Lin Yiran walked past his car without turning her head. She wore a men’s sports jacket, and the man beside her held an umbrella for her, not a single raindrop falling on her.

She smiled gently at the person beside her, her eyes curving when she smiled.

She was well taken care of, and the man was very gracious. When Lin Yiran stumbled, he only lightly supported her shoulder, without any excessive movement.

Walking together, they didn’t look out of place at all, as if it was always meant to be this way.

“I brought the ring.”

“Go find someone else to put it on.”

“Who should I find?” Lin Yiran looked over in shock.

“Whoever you discussed love with, go ask them,” Qiu Xing said.

Lin Yiran looked completely puzzled. “Who did I discuss with?”

“I don’t know.”

Qiu Xing was sitting on the sofa at the time, suddenly feeling that he was pathetic.

The decision he had struggled with after much thought wasn’t that important. He wasn’t so irreplaceable; others were more suitable.

“On one hand, you say everything is only for me, and then you turn around and chat about love with someone else. You’ve figured me out,” Qiu Xing laughed.

When he reached for his phone, Qiu Xing instinctively first felt for the side with the ring.

The ring was in his pocket, and when he touched it, Qiu Xing felt a sharp jab. He immediately withdrew his hand.

That day, Qiu Xing understood the unspoken “PhD” on Lin Yiran’s lips.

He didn’t feel hurt. Whether someone else was a PhD or not had nothing to do with him.

Qiu Xing just suddenly became clear. All those fantasies about the future from the past few days, all those momentary impulses, dissipated.

Just like six years ago, when Qiu Xing decided to cast everything aside to catch a falling girl, to give her everything he had, both good and bad, only to discover that she didn’t want it at all.

It was a kind of calm that instantly pulled all eager thoughts from his mind, allowing him to directly feel himself becoming clear-headed in an instant.

Qiu Xing only thought he was clear-headed.

He hadn’t recognized at the time that amid those complex, intertwined emotions, the reason he was so harsh that day was primarily due to possessiveness.

The image of her with someone else was just too harmonious. Qiu Xing also thought it was good, that was the life he believed she should have.

But she was his Xiaozhou.

*

Outside, the snow fell all day, drifting down.

Qiu Xing canceled his afternoon appointments, set his phone to silent, and didn’t go anywhere.

Lin Yiran slept very peacefully in his arms, initially facing away, but later turning toward him, one hand lightly holding Qiu Xing’s clothes.

She had cried fiercely earlier; even in sleep, her eyelids were still swollen, looking pitiful.

Qiu Xing leaned close to her, gently kissing her eyes.

Before falling asleep, Lin Yiran had been constantly touching the ring on her middle finger. Even in sleep, she loosely clenched her hand, her thumb unconsciously touching her middle finger.

She rested steadily in his arms, like a lonely little boat that had finally reached shore.

Throughout this afternoon, Qiu Xing thought about many things—about her, about the future.

From today, his life had thoroughly entered a new phase. This feeling was remarkably wonderful. Not only did it not create pressure, but it also produced an indescribable stillness in one’s heart.

It was a warm, enveloping feeling, like being surrounded by cotton fabrics that had been washed and hung to dry. It was being accompanied, being safe.

From now on, he willingly carried a girl’s lifetime.

He would work harder, do his best.

And whether his life was good or bad, whatever circumstances he found himself in, she would have to share it all.

This was her own choice to crash into his life, and it was her refusal to leave.

So no matter what shape the future took, she would have to accept it.

They were now lovers, and in the future, they would be husband and wife.