Shaoshang didn’t know how she emerged from that palace room. First she very properly bowed to the ladies, then stepped down from the palace corridor with steady gait. Huo Buyi seemed to want to chase after her, but was stopped by the Second Princess: “…let her calm down first.”

All the ladies were very polite, their faces carrying kindly teasing smiles, all making way for Shaoshang. They all thought: perhaps in the future they’d attend a wedding feast at the Huo residence—better not offend the bride from the start.

Shaoshang walked stiffly out of Changqiu Palace. Once no one could see her, she quickly lifted her skirt hem and ran with all her might, as if monsters were chasing behind—actually she hadn’t run like this in many years. At Yong’an Palace she was the Palace Command second only to one, managing everyone, arranging affairs. Outside Yong’an Palace, she was even less willing to give people cause for gossip.

Not knowing how long she’d run, she lay panting on a lakeside rock, thinking she used to be able to contend with Huo Buyi for a few rounds. Now she relied entirely on scratching with her nails. Even Luo Jitong could subdue her in one move. Sure enough, long-term lack of exercise led to physical decline.

Having wildly thought through a pile of random things, Shaoshang’s heart was both flustered and irritated. She tidied her hair and clothes facing the water surface, thinking that since she couldn’t sort out her thoughts for the moment anyway, she’d walk aimlessly along the lakeshore until passing patrolling guards saluted her. Only then did she realize she’d unknowingly arrived at the palace guard station at Upper West Gate.

So her subconscious wanted to go home? But going home was even less safe. At Yong’an Palace, Huo Buyi at least didn’t dare act recklessly. Switch to the Cheng residence, and he’d dare climb walls and windows in broad daylight!

Just as she was about to turn back, she noticed several very familiar people not far outside the palace gate. Not knowing from what psychology, she very consciously hid behind a bronze fierce tiger statue.

Not seen for six years, Old Uncle Liang’s bearing remained unchanged—still straight-backed with dignified bearing. She saw him holding his wife Qu Lingjun’s hand with one hand, supporting her waist with the other, steadily helping her onto the carriage. Just this one simple, considerate gesture could surpass numerous elegant young gentlemen in the capital.

Shaoshang had always found it strange—how had someone of Liang Wuji’s quality remained widowed for so many years? Were the eyes of all hereditary family women blind? Or was her aesthetic rather unique?

Over there, Liang Wuji said something in a low voice. Qu Lingjun laughed until her eyes curved and lips trembled. The two gazed at each other through the window, affection overflowing so much that even the guards’ at the palace gate expressions changed.

Shaoshang narrowed her eyes. How did she feel that today Old Uncle Liang’s attire was overly youthful? Shouldn’t this kind of light blue brocade look better on tall, slender youths of Yuan Shen’s age?

Today everything went badly. Shaoshang returned gloomily to Changqiu Palace, sitting by the Grand Empress Dowager’s couch recounting today’s encounters. Old Lady Zhai trimmed her nails while fanning the flames: “Shaoshang did right! You should scratch him hard! Did you draw blood? Good, good, that’s right! This scoundrel should suffer more…”

“Old Lady Zhai, stop talking nonsense. Shaoshang knows what she’s doing in her heart.” The Grand Empress Dowager leaned softly against her cushions, not expressing an opinion on this matter, only teasing: “But Shaoshang, look at yourself—other than your arm and nails, your whole body is completely undamaged. From what you just said, Zicheng’s head and face are full of injuries. When the time comes, if His Highness the Crown Prince doesn’t come scold you, that would be strange.”

Shaoshang sighed silently. This was also her headache. If she’d known, she wouldn’t have struck so fiercely just now.

Old Lady Zhai chimed in: “Don’t fear, don’t fear! If someone comes to trouble the young lady, we’ll just shut the palace gates tight!”

Shaoshang looked at her fingers, saying with distress: “What a pity about my nails. I’d maintained them so well, just dyed them with flower juice. Ow, ow, Old Lady Zhai, don’t cut them all off! Leave me more—I still want to grow them long in the future.”

The Grand Empress Dowager also stared at her fingers: “Cutting them short is good too. With long nails, how can you do woodwork? How can you hold charcoal pencils to draw diagrams?”

Shaoshang clenched a fist under her sleeve, her expression composed: “Then I just won’t do it. The palace has the Imperial Works Bureau with the best craftsmen under heaven. What would I show off for?”

The Grand Empress Dowager was silent for a moment: “Never mind other things—how long has it been since you played the flute? Taking advantage of your nails being trimmed today, play a tune for me to hear. Don’t use the excuse that the palace has the best musicians.”

Shaoshang had no way out and could only send a palace maid to her room to fetch it. Because she hadn’t practiced in a long time, her fingers trembled when pressing the sound holes. The tune she played was even more off-key and incomprehensible.

Shaoshang put down the short green bamboo flute. The bedchamber fell into long silence.

The Grand Empress Dowager sighed deeply. Shaoshang asked why. The Grand Empress Dowager murmured: “I’m wondering if I was wrong…”

Shaoshang didn’t understand but still consoled: “Your Majesty, don’t be upset. I’ll go back and practice playing the flute. My aunt said I have great talent in this—I learn immediately when taught, master immediately when I study. Rest assured, in a few days I’ll play for you again. I guarantee it’ll sound as good as before.”

The Grand Empress Dowager smiled noncommittally.

…

Empress Yue’s banquet was truly spectacular. The various noble ladies had promised the Second Princess not to gossip outside, so they wouldn’t deliberately spread word. However, blood is thicker than water—while they wouldn’t speak outside, they had to tell their husbands on the pillow.

That very night, two-thirds of the witnesses spilled the story completely. The Grand Lady Marquis Yue was relatively mature and steady, waiting two days before telling her husband, and was still reproached by the Grand Marquis Yue: “I wondered why Shiyilang’s face was full of injuries, as if scratched out, and why the Deputy Commander and Second Brother laughed so strangely. You too—not telling me earlier made me only able to laugh dryly on the side.”

Touching his conscience, Huo Buyi really didn’t intend to embarrass Shaoshang. Unfortunately, recently the land survey decree faced unprecedented resistance. Some great surname military chiefs had begun gathering mobs to cause chaos, coercing common people to strengthen their momentum. At such a time he couldn’t possibly skip court, so the injuries on his face couldn’t be concealed.

Though the Emperor knew everything in his heart, he said nothing, only looked at his foster son’s face several more times with interest. The Crown Prince’s eyes widened, directly asking why. So Huo Buyi very seriously lied: “I was careless while riding and when I fell was scratched by tree branches.”

The Crown Prince absolutely didn’t believe it. It was his cousin and also良娣 who told him the truth. He was so angry he wanted to go to Yong’an Palace on the spot to find the responsible party for civil injury litigation, barely restrained by the Fourth Prince holding him back with all his might.

“Imperial Brother, my good Imperial Brother, just let it go.” Though the Fourth Prince’s temperament was somewhat direct, he’d at least married and established a family. “Zicheng’s happy event is at a critical juncture. Don’t bungle it!”

The Crown Prince couldn’t believe it: “Being beaten by a woman is called a happy event?!”

The Fourth Prince was completely at ease: “Don’t blame your brother for not warning you—Mother Empress has already said that before Imperial Brother marries and establishes a consort, you mustn’t interfere in other people’s marriage matters. If you disobey, Mother Empress will… I also don’t know what Mother Empress will do. Imperial Brother, you think about it yourself.”

The Crown Prince was speechless with anger.

In short, in sum—unlike last time when Fifth Cheng caused a great disturbance at the palace gate and the storm spread to everyone’s knowledge, this time though the situation was more intense and serious, the eyebrow-raising circulation of mocking discussion was limited only to the top few households in the capital.

Perceiving that matters hadn’t fermented, Shaoshang couldn’t help secretly feeling grateful to the Second Princess. Mm, and also to Huo Buyi.

However, since several households knew, the Yuan family naturally couldn’t avoid it—speaking of which, it was the Fourth Princess who secretly told Qu Lingjun, then Prefect Liang informed the Yuan family.

Liang Wuji was an honest person and had received kindness from Huo and Cheng back then, so he had no intention of criticizing them. He only gently inquired of brother-in-law Yuan Pei whether Yuan Shen’s marriage should be reconsidered.

Not that he disdained the Cheng family daughter’s unclear past affairs—the Fourth Princess clearly said it was Huo Buyi kneeling on the ground pleading. Nor did he fear Huo Buyi’s high position and power. Rather… as someone who’d been through it, Liang Wuji felt that marriage matters were better not forced.

Thus it was that one day after court dismissal, Young Master Yuan seemingly leisurely strolled to Yong’an Palace. After finding Shaoshang, the two sat on steps empty of people, facing the setting sun and talking.

Shaoshang couldn’t help complaining: “I sent people to find you so many times. Why didn’t you come? I had things to say to you.”

“I feared when we met you’d immediately want to break the engagement, so I planned to hide for two days.” Yuan Shen didn’t look at the girl but picked up small pebbles on the steps one by one.

“Then why did you come today?”

“Because I realized whether we break the engagement or not, Huo Buyi has no scruples whatsoever.”

Shaoshang understood Yuan Shen already knew. She slumped her shoulders, saying apologetically: “I’m sorry. I made you lose face. Are people mocking you?”

Yuan Shen opened his palm, counting out over ten gray-white pebbles, saying lightly: “I’m not afraid of others’ mockery. Back when I declined His Majesty’s summons to the Secretariat, because no one knew of this matter, those Confucian scholars thought His Majesty didn’t value me—at that time I was mocked much worse.”

Shaoshang sighed weakly: “What did I tell you? I said long ago Huo Buyi was hard to provoke. Better to break the engagement early.”

Yuan Shen clenched the pebbles, suddenly turning his head: “What exactly did Huo Buyi say to you! Did he also say he’d treat you with respect and affection in the future, the two of you supporting each other, prospering the family? Did he also say he’d hand all household matters to you, letting you have unlimited prestige, with no one daring to bully or slight you? Did he also say…”

“He said none of it.” Shaoshang interrupted. “He never talks to me about these things…” Looking at Yuan Shen’s slightly anxious eyes, she found it somewhat difficult to continue. “What he talks about has always been only the two words ‘affection.'”

Yuan Shen opened his palm. The hard pebbles had knocked red marks on his soft white palm.

Shaoshang looked at the clouds and rosy light at the sky’s edge, her cheeks reflected bright red. She said softly: “He doesn’t need to say anything, because I know—everything you mentioned, he’ll accomplish.”

“…So that’s how it is.” Yuan Shen felt lost.

“Shanjian, I won’t hide it from you—right now I’m somewhat afraid when I see Huo Buyi.” Shaoshang said. “He’s different from you and me. He’s that kind of person—who’ll rise to draw his bow under the scorching sun even if it means death and obliteration of his name; who’ll chase the sun with no hope even if his strength is exhausted unto death; who’ll move stones day after day…”

“Houyi shooting down the suns, Kuafu chasing the sun, the Foolish Old Man moving mountains—you can say it more simply. I’ve read books.” Yuan Shen couldn’t help his tone carrying light mockery.

Shaoshang continued: “Everyone says Huo Buyi is mature beyond his years, with extremely deep scheming. But sometimes, he’s more purely simple than all of us.”—His love and hate were both intense and eternal.

Yuan Shen nodded: “Correct. His Majesty loves him so much not entirely because the Huo family was full of loyal heroes or because of sworn brotherhood with General Huo Chong, but rather… I once heard the Middle Marquis Yue say while drunk that whenever His Majesty looks at Huo Buyi, the expression on his face is like returning to youthful times. Back then, the sky was high and waters clear, years peaceful and good. The fine young men of the prosperous two counties either leisurely studied or busily farmed. In their leisure, they drank wine and laughed raucously. Back then, youth was hot-blooded, heaven and earth pure. Everyone was simple and straightforward.”

Shaoshang sighed softly: “Yes. Decades have passed. Those who once slew serpents and butchered dogs later all became princes and marquises. The bright youths who protected His Majesty’s escape from pursuing killers are all no longer what they used to be. Everyone has power, land, private soldiers strictly obeying orders, local prestige with hundreds responding to one call. Only Huo Buyi…”

Yuan Shen smiled: “I know what you mean. If you asked Huo Buyi to lay down all his current power and take you back to the Huo family’s old home in Feng County to have children and live peacefully, I believe he’d be willing—His Majesty knows this too, and the Crown Prince will know it in the future.”

“But you’re unwilling.”

“Are you willing?” Yuan Shen glanced sideways.

Shaoshang smiled.

Yuan Shen looked at the girl with decisive expression, each word weighty: “I said before—in the future I’ll be ranked among the Three Excellencies. My descendants will also be ranked among the Three Excellencies, with powerful ministers emerging in abundance, the Yuan clan prosperous and enduring. I hope when I occupy the position of minister to men, you can be by my side.”

He looked seriously at the girl: “Huo Buyi and I are different people, but my feelings for you are equally precious.”

Shaoshang lowered her head, looking at her cleanly trimmed, rounded nails.

Yuan Shen said: “I’ve never clearly expressed my feelings to you. Instead I spoke of those worldly matters. That’s because, because…”

“I know.” Shaoshang said softly. “That’s because you don’t know how to say it. Even more fatally, you don’t even know what your own feelings truly are.”

She raised her head and smiled: “How could I not understand you? I say the first sentence, you can continue with the next. You and I are the same kind of people—both dull and cowardly. We know everything, we’re shrewd about everything, but we just don’t understand ourselves.”

Yuan Shen’s gaze was soft, as if seeing that small girl gazing up at flower lanterns under the night curtain years ago, her eyes both clear and bewildered.

“But we should still break the engagement first.” Shaoshang smiled. “Next time I marry, I won’t get engaged. I’ll marry directly instead.”

Yuan Shen said nothing, only gazing at her.

Shaoshang patted her dress, standing up facing the golden-red rosy light: “This time I won’t be so utilitarian and hasty. I need to first think clearly about some things—in the future, what kind of life do I actually want to live?”

“A’Shen, I’m sorry. But this is all I can do. And I must do this.”

—Let everything return to the starting point. Think carefully about what kind of person I actually am.