The elevator was coming so slowly. Chen An was burning with anxiety. He pushed open the emergency exit door beside him and ran up three steps at a time. Perhaps it was the intense running that made his breathing very irregular. At this moment, he only felt that the pent-up mass of air in his chest had dispersed, reaching an extreme level of exhilaration. He breathed greedily, sweated freely, and didn’t slow his pace an inch even when he reached the 12th floor.
Arriving at the hospital room, he pushed the door open forcefully. Looking at Cheng Lele’s thin face, he stood in the doorway with one hand braced against the door frame, breathing unevenly: “Cheng Lele, can we talk?”
Cheng Lele was playing a match-three puzzle game and was startled by the sudden voice. Her hand shook, and the layout she had just set up was ruined, making her inevitably a bit irritated.
She said somewhat huffily: “Talk about what?”
In small places, land wasn’t valuable. The VIP hospital room was very spacious, able to accommodate a widened hospital bed, a two-person sofa, a wardrobe, and a beverage bar. The wallpaper was warm white, the central air conditioning gently sent out warm air, and a bouquet of sunflowers that Zhong Jin had brought was arranged in a vase beside the hospital bed.
Everything was very warm and cozy.
Chen An sat on the sofa. Reminded by Cheng Lele’s tone, he pushed down the thing he most wanted to confirm.
“Lele, let’s each share the saddest thing that’s happened to us over these years, okay?”
Cheng Lele wanted to refuse outright.
She had many sad things and didn’t want to rank them one, two, three, four in front of Chen An.
But Chen An had already begun speaking first.
“My relationship with my parents has always been lukewarm. After returning to live in the provincial capital, I intended to change this situation. At that time, I was very optimistic about a project. To show goodwill, I suggested with unprecedented patience that if my mother had idle funds, she could co-invest a portion. Later, I brought it up again at the dinner table.”
Cheng Lele looked at Chen An, and he looked at her too, as if drawing courage from her to continue speaking.
“Because I rarely discussed my work at home, they thought I lacked funds and asked me approximately how much I needed. Very confidently, I said, the more the better. Not long after, they transferred a large sum of money to my account.”
Chen An paused and didn’t continue. Cheng Lele touched the back of his hand. Because of the IV, her hand was cooler than usual.
Chen An wasn’t used to analyzing himself to others. He hadn’t even mentioned this secret to a psychologist, but he still told the person he liked most in this world the sentence that had almost crushed him back then: “That was the first and largest bribe my father accepted.”
Chen An lowered his head: “I regret it very much. When the verdict was handed down, I was thinking, if you had stayed in the provincial capital with me, with your ability, you would definitely have been better than me at improving my family’s atmosphere. I wouldn’t have let them misunderstand me, and I wouldn’t have let my father go down the path of crime. So, like a coward unwilling to bear my own mistakes, I resented you for a period of time.”
Cheng Lele said softly: “I’m sorry.”
Chen An said: “It wasn’t your fault. At that time, I missed you too much, which is why I had such resentment. Now I don’t get caught up in such mental dead ends anymore.”
“Mm.” Cheng Lele lowered her eyes. “It’s good that you’ve found peace with it.”
Chen An cleared his throat and said: “Your turn.”
The VIP room had very good soundproofing. When no one spoke, the hospital room was very quiet. Cheng Lele silently watched the liquid in the IV tube slowly enter her blood vessels.
Chen An didn’t rush her. After a long time, Cheng Lele said: “I feel that Mom wasn’t as happy as she imagined. I really want to place her ashes next to Dad’s, but I’m afraid Mom in heaven wouldn’t agree.”
Compared to Chen An’s lengthy confession, Cheng Lele revealed very little.
Chen An struggled to understand the meaning and asked: “Did your godmother’s second husband treat her badly?”
Cheng Lele closed her eyes briefly and said: “A little bit.”
“But your godmother didn’t notice?”
“Mm.”
“What did they do?”
Cheng Lele thought, that was the second thing that made her sad. She didn’t plan on an unfair exchange, so she smiled and said lightly, avoiding the important issue: “Because I’m from Dad’s side, no matter how good he was, he couldn’t compare to my dad.”
“Oh.”
The nurse knocked on the door, came in to check on the saline, took a simple temperature reading, and left.
The hospital room became quiet again.
After a while, Chen An said: “Lele, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way that day.”
Although he didn’t specify which day, both of them knew clearly. But Cheng Lele didn’t know which aspect of “that way” he meant. Was it losing his temper at her or kissing her? But it wasn’t very important either way.
Cheng Lele said: “It’s okay. I also said things I shouldn’t have said. I never thought we were from two separate families.”
“Mm, Grandma has always missed you very much.”
Cheng Lele, who had always strictly controlled her expressions, suddenly had moist eyes. If there was anyone in the world she felt most sorry for, it was definitely Grandma Chen.
She painfully wiped her eyes, her tone carrying a hint of crying: “I’m sorry. I never had the courage to visit her. I was afraid she would hit me and scold me, and also afraid she would think of me and miss me. She, is she okay?”
Chen An held Cheng Lele’s hand: “She’s very well. When you’re better, I’ll take you to see her.”
“Mm.” Cheng Lele nodded her head desperately.
Chen An poured Cheng Lele a glass of water. After drinking the water, Cheng Lele calmed down a bit.
She turned the paper cup slightly, the water inside sloshing. Cheng Lele stared at the rippling patterns and asked: “Has Grandma met her?”
Chen An asked: “Who?”
Cheng Lele smiled with her eyes curved, chattering non-stop: “Your girlfriend. When did you start dating? You hid it so well. She’s quite pretty, and seems very good to you. Grandma must be very satisfied, right? Do you have plans to get married? If you get married, you’ll settle down in the provincial capital, right? Housing in the provincial capital is quite expensive…” She paused, “I forgot, you’re not as poor as I imagined.”
Chen An heard her rapidly say a bunch of strange things in one breath, still puzzled: “What girlfriend?”
Cheng Lele smiled with difficulty, pretending to be very open-minded: “Stop pretending. I know about you getting a room at Shenya. Adults—no need to hide it.”
Chen An said with sudden realization: “You mean Tang Xin?”
Cheng Lele nodded: “So her name is Tang Xin.” She really wanted to praise this name, but couldn’t find the point.
Chen An said with some anger: “She’s not my girlfriend.”
Cheng Lele’s hand holding the cup shook, and she said: “Then, then is she a booty—”
“Not that either.” Chen An said irritably, “She’s my assistant. That day we were having a video conference in the office and you guys kicked us out. We couldn’t find a quiet place temporarily, so we went to Shenya.”
“Oh, I see.” Cheng Lele said. Her heart felt inexplicably joyful. Perhaps after hanging saline for several days, her body had really improved.
She finished the last bit of water and looked at Chen An somewhat puzzled: “Then why have you been staying in the provincial capital all this time?”
Chen An didn’t answer immediately.
The scene of Cheng Lele fleeing from his home the night they played at the haunted house resurfaced in his mind. After hearing the truth revealed by Zhong Jin, he had excitedly run up here, not realizing that without Zhong Ming, he still might not be the person in first place.
At eighteen, he had very confidently strategized everything. Seven years later, at the final step, he still lacked a bit of courage.
He asked in return: “By the way, the little swan you gave me that day—did it have any special meaning?”
Cheng Lele said irritably: “It originally had meaning, but now it doesn’t.”
“Oh.”
Cheng Lele asked: “Is that question so difficult to answer? Then let me change it.”
Chen An nodded with relief.
“Why did you kiss me that day?”
Chen An: “…”
Cheng Lele said: “If you answer properly, there will be a reward.”
She looked at him, her eyes radiating a light that was both innocent and cunning, without any trace of the melancholy from just moments ago.
Chen An heard his own heartbeat making a very loud sound. If a nurse came in to take measurements, she might have him directly admitted for treatment.
He licked his lips and looked at her: “You’ve always known.”
Cheng Lele’s eyes were full of encouragement, her voice gentle yet firm, with a hint of temptation: “If you don’t say it, I won’t know.”
Chen An quickly lowered his head. When he raised it again, his expression became very serious: “My relationship with my mother still isn’t very good now.”
“Oh.” Cheng Lele responded with slight disappointment.
Chen An continued: “After my father was imprisoned, I very selfishly thought, I hoped you would be by my side, help me repair the mother-son relationship, and not let my family repeat the same mistakes.”
“Oh.”
“But actually, that was just an excuse.” Chen An looked at her, his eyes sincere and full of longing. “I simply and purely hope that we can be together.”
Cheng Lele asked: “Little brother, do you still like me?”
“I’ve always, always loved you very much.”
“What do you love about me?”
“Everything.”
Cheng Lele said bitterly: “Then you must have had a very difficult time these years.”
Chen An crouched down, pulling Cheng Lele’s hand, looking up at her: “Lele, if no one has entered your heart these years, would you be willing to invite me in to sit for a while? If you feel it still doesn’t work, if you still feel uncomfortable, I’ll leave again. Don’t feel burdened—I’m willing, and I’m the one who initiated this. I’ll bear all the consequences myself. Can you give me a chance?”
Cheng Lele seemed to understand why Chen An had gone to the provincial capital and not returned. Seven years ago, she had destroyed little brother’s confidence, making him like a cornered beast in battle, timid and retreating in the face of love, his confession so humble he didn’t leave himself a shred of dignity.
He shouldn’t have been this kind of person. She wanted to help him gradually recover his confidence in her.
Cheng Lele said: “Okay.”
Because she answered so readily, Chen An was stunned for a moment.
While he was in a daze, Cheng Lele had already bent down, cupped his face, and gently kissed his lips. The time was very short, the speed very quick, leaving Chen An no time to react.
“This is my deposit.” Cheng Lele said.
Chen An felt it was very surreal. Like a penniless pauper who bet his only dollar on a lottery ticket and ended up becoming a multimillionaire.
It took him a long time to accept the good news. Warmth slowly transmitted from his fingertips to his heart, then delivered to his cheeks. With a slight blush that couldn’t be detected without careful observation, he asked in the mindset of a multimillionaire: “Can I pay a lot, a lot of earnest money now?”
Cheng Lele laughed and said: “Yes.”
Then Chen An stood up. His fingertips brushed across her porcelain-white face as he slowly drew near. His nose caught the familiar milky fragrance on her body. When he got close enough, her eyelashes trembled once, as if brushing across his face. Chen An gently kissed her eyes, then pecked her nose, and finally placed his lips where he most wanted them to be.
Chen An clearly didn’t like sweets, yet he always felt that Cheng Lele was a very sweet fruit, the only sweetener he couldn’t resist. When he kissed her warm and soft lips, his guess was verified.
This was a long yet non-sensual kiss. When Chen An moved away slightly, Cheng Lele said: “Is that enough?”
Chen An nodded with amusement and asked: “Does it feel awkward?”
Cheng Lele said honestly: “If it goes on longer, it does feel a bit strange.”
Chen An reflected: “It might be because I lack experience.”
Cheng Lele was silent for a moment, then comforted him: “You’re a top student. You’ll improve.”
Chen An’s smile was too obvious, but he also very sincerely responded to Cheng Lele’s comfort: “Mm, I’ll let you see improvement.”
Cheng Lele said: “Mutual improvement. Give me a little time, I’ll adapt quickly too.”
Chen An touched her head: “Okay. Thank you for your effort.”
Chen An thought that actually, as long as Cheng Lele took one step toward him, he would complete the remaining nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine steps.
However, if she was willing to run toward him, he wouldn’t mind that either.
The two had reconciled and confirmed their feelings for each other. They seemed to have endless topics to chat about.
There were only apples in the hospital room.
While thinking about going to buy some grapes later, Chen An peeled an apple with a knife and casually asked: “Uncle Yang said you left a message at the bike shed and cheered me on?”
Cheng Lele said: “You really didn’t see it. What a pity. I climbed up so carefully and got so tired.”
“And sprained your ankle.” Chen An said with displeasure. “You recorded videos on the rooftop before and hurt your knee? Did it leave a scar?”
Cheng Lele shook her head: “No.”
“Cheng Lele, you should tell me these things. You’re not allowed to hide things from me.” Chen An said.
Cheng Lele suddenly remembered the tattoo on her body and said: “There is something I’ve been hiding from you.”
As she spoke, she began unbuttoning her hospital gown.
Chen An was so frightened he almost cut his hand, asking: “What are you doing?”
Cheng Lele said: “Little brother, don’t overthink it. I’m still wearing a short-sleeved undershirt underneath.”
Chen An stammered: “I wasn’t overthinking.”
Cheng Lele said: “I think you were.” Then she put the blue and white striped hospital gown aside and lifted up her left sleeve: “Look. What’s this?”
Chen An leaned over to look. There was a tattoo with somewhat faded colors, but he still recognized it—it was the medal from the award he had won back then.
“You—” Chen An was both angry and touched, saying: “Don’t get tattoos in the future, understand?”
Cheng Lele said “Ah” and quickly rolled up her right sleeve, saying: “Then let me make it clear first. I have one on this side too.”
Chen An was exasperated. He looked—the tattoo on that side was much more vivid in color, printed with C&Y.
“These are my dad and mom’s initials.” Cheng Lele said. “Look, I’ve printed my most important family members on my body.”
Chen An’s anger dissipated at once.
He regretted not finding her at all costs during those seven years, and also regretted running away during this time, leaving Cheng Lele all alone to face this terrible world. But she didn’t hold any grudge against him at all and had even tried hard to accept him.
He stood up, spreading his arms and asking: “Can I hug you?”
Cheng Lele knelt on the bed and said: “Oh, you don’t have to ask every time.”
Chen An pulled Cheng Lele into his embrace and said: “From now on, I’ll always be with you.”
Cheng Lele leaned on Chen An’s shoulder and gave a emphatic “Mm.”