The criminal was still at large, so the martyr’s funeral couldn’t be held on a grand scale. Ye Xiaomei also requested that everything be kept simple. After the funeral was arranged, Wang Liting called Cheng Lele: “Lele, contact An’an and have him come back early.”

Cheng Lele had barely closed her eyes for several days now. Her left eyelid’s double fold was becoming semi-permanent, making her eyes look slightly uneven in size, and they were full of bloodshot veins.

Her energy was insufficient. When listening to others speak, she needed to concentrate very hard to hear clearly. After hearing Wang Liting’s question, she forced her overburdened brain to work overtime, slowly processing the sound into information. After digesting it, she wearily shook her head: “I heard little brother say before that after the exam, there are several more days of academic conferences. It would be good for little brother to communicate more with industry experts. Anyway, coming back now versus coming back in a few days…” Cheng Lele half-inhaled to finish the rest, “doesn’t make much difference.”

Wang Liting was silent for a moment before asking: “Lele, do you resent your godmother for being heartless?”

Cheng Lele shook her head again: “No. Only children don’t consider circumstances or weigh pros and cons. I’ve grown up now. I understand adults’ trade-offs.”

Wang Liting’s tears kept flowing: “Saying this means you do resent me.”

Cheng Lele said: “Godmother, I did resent you. But these past two days I’ve thought it through. My dad’s death is already a fact. Little brother coming back can’t wake him. Why make him sacrifice his future needlessly? You’re little brother’s mother, so of course you think more long-term than I do.” She paused, moistening her cracked lips. “Godmother, don’t overthink it. My mom can’t handle the blow and is being a bit stubborn. Please be understanding.”

“Silly child, you still have the heart to consider me.”

After hanging up, Cheng Lele looked up at the sky. Above were layers upon layers of clouds. Her gaze dropped—the snow on the shed roof had already melted. Only the pain in her ankle reminded her of how simple and pure her happiness had been back then.

One day, the sky cleared. Cheng Lele took a shower, patiently dried her hair, wrapped herself in a thick quilt, and once again tried to sleep. She thought it would take a long time again, but unexpectedly, not long after closing her eyes, she fell asleep.

She had a dream. The dreamscape was like being wrapped in egg wash, with a pale yellow hazy filter.

Dad said he would take her and Chen An to the amusement park. She had two pigtails sticking up. Chen An wore overalls. Dad rode a 28-inch bicycle with her sitting on the front bar and Chen An sitting on the back seat.

At the amusement park entrance, they sold candies in various shapes. She and Chen An both wanted the same elephant-shaped candy, but there was only one left, and neither would give in. Dad couldn’t persuade this one or that one. Finally, he said, if they broke it in half, then neither would have an elephant. Would they rather no one have it, or would they prefer the other person have a complete elephant? The two thought about it and actually both backed down.

Later, they entered the amusement park licking the same piece of candy.

Dad said: “In the future, when Dad, Mom, and your godparents are no longer in this world, you two will be each other’s closest people. You must remember to take care of and cherish each other.”

The scene flashed, and Chen An had grown up, wearing an oversized school uniform, sitting in the center of her living room, doing homework with her.

Dad secretly called Chen An into the bathroom. After working on problems for a while, she ran to eavesdrop outside the door: “What are you two doing sneaking around?”

Dad simply opened the door, holding up a razor to scare her: “Murdering my son.”

Chen An’s chin was covered in foam. He winked at her: “Godfather is teaching me to shave.”

“Oh. That’s nice. You’re letting my dad feel fulfilled. Sorry, Dad. I shouldn’t have done the moonwalk in Mom’s belly back then and got your hopes up for nothing.”

“Jealous?” Dad said. “What’s there to be jealous about? I’m teaching my son to shave. Didn’t your mom teach you to choose underwear? Should we switch and teach each other’s?”

“Go away. You’re just nicer to my brother than to me. You’re an old stubborn person who favors sons over daughters.”

Dad gestured toward Chen An with his chin: “Later you discipline your sister for me. Is that any way to talk to her old dad?”

Chen An said: “Okay.”

“You always gang up to bully me. I’m going to find my mom.” She turned to shout: “Mom—”

No one responded to her. Huh, where did Mom go?

Turning back, Dad and Chen An weren’t in the bathroom either. Where did they all go?

She startled awake from the dream with a tear seeping from the corner of her eye. She quickly got up, opened the door to look—there was an additional black and white photo in the living room.

She anxiously called out again: “Mom—”

Ye Xiaomei was in the kitchen. She poked her head out and asked: “Want breakfast?”

“Yes.”

Mother and daughter quietly ate a huge bowl of noodles.

After cleaning up the dishes, Ye Xiaomei sat on the sofa, gazing at the window glass, and suddenly said: “New Year is coming soon. We should put up window decorations. Lele, do you know where last year’s window decorations are?”

Cheng Lele said: “New year, new atmosphere. Let’s buy new ones this year.”

Ye Xiaomei didn’t speak. She turned on the TV, letting the noisy background fill the living room. This way, the house wouldn’t seem so desolate.

She slowly closed her eyes.

Cheng Lele sat beside her, watching TV attentively for a while. After waiting more than half an hour, she heard Ye Xiaomei’s light snoring. She got a blanket from the bedroom and carefully covered her with it.

Then she walked back to her room and took out her phone from a drawer. She pressed the screen—after not looking at it for several days, the battery was dead.

After charging for a while, she turned it on. The phone kept vibrating.

She saw Chen An’s text messages continuously coming in.

“Why aren’t you replying anymore?”

“Was that last message sent to me by mistake on purpose? Fishing?”

“Hey, the fish has taken the bait. If you still won’t respond, that’s no fun.”

The next day’s messages:

“You’re something else. Let’s see how long you stay mad.”

The third day:

“Taking the exam today. Wish me luck.”

The fourth day:

“Finished the exam. Should have another new certificate to give you.”

The fifth day:

“Alright, good baby, say something to little brother.”

The sixth day:

“Lele, didn’t you miss me? Little brother misses you a lot.”

The seventh day:

Oh, today was the seventh day.

Cheng Lele exited and logged into QQ.

It was winter break, so Cheng Lele didn’t need to take leave. No one knew that something had happened in Cheng Lele’s family.

Chen Xiaomei asked her and Zhong Ming in the group chat how they were spending winter break.

Zhong Ming asked, want to go cycling?

Chen Xiaomei replied: It’s been a bit cold these days. Change to an indoor activity?

Zhong Ming asked: What’s Lele’s opinion?

Those were messages from several days ago.

Cheng Lele thought for a moment and calmly typed: “My dad passed away.”

Chen Xiaomei’s call came through immediately.

Cheng Lele hung up.

Soon Zhong Ming’s call also came through. Hung up again.

Cheng Lele said in the group: “Don’t call. It’s awkward.”

“It happened a week ago. My emotions are stable now.”

“It’s all Chen Xiaomei’s crow mouth. Saying things like people who were once very close might leave you in the blink of an eye. A prophecy come true.”

“Also blame Brother Zhong. That theory of yours about emotions having life and death—sounds really unlucky.”

“So now that I’m like this, you’re both responsible. Treat me better from now on.”

Chen Xiaomei replied: “Idiot. My dad and mom both abandoned me. I’m an orphan. What are you trying to be pitiful about?”

Zhong Ming: “My parents divorced long ago too. My current mom isn’t my biological mom. I have a half-sister who’s especially excellent, crushing me in every way. Sigh, compared to you guys, I’m way worse off. Can’t follow the trend of being pitiful. Sorry.”

Cheng Lele said: “Understood. From now on, Brother Zhong is our exploitation target.”

Chen Xiaomei followed up: “Understood. From now on, Brother Zhong is our exploitation target.”

Cheng Lele replied again: “Let’s go cycling in a couple days.”

Chen Xiaomei: “Sure. Practice that half-baked skill of yours.”

Zhong Ming: OK.

Cheng Lele closed QQ and opened messages again, replying to Chen An.

“Little brother, my dad passed away.”

After a while, suddenly thinking of something, she added:

“Oh, he passed away seven days ago. You don’t need to rush back.”

Finally, she added another line:

“I’ll have to rely on little brother to look after me even more from now on.”

Chen An’s call came through.

Cheng Lele hung up.

Chen An’s text message immediately followed: I’m outside the door.

Cheng Lele stared at those four characters on the screen, suddenly feeling like she was a lost and found office that had finally waited for the owner to claim their item. Her nose became sour, and tears seemed to have their own consciousness. No matter how hard she tried, they still surged out vigorously.

She had clearly rehearsed this—casually, calmly sharing the bad news with people she knew, making a couple jokes, appearing to live with great wisdom, making things seem less heavy and tragic. That way, both parties would feel relieved. She had already succeeded once.

Why was it different when it came to little brother?

Then she heard her bedroom window being knocked.

Worried about waking Mom in the living room, she wiped away tears, pulled open the curtain, and opened the window. Chen An stood outside. Before she could see clearly, Chen An braced himself on the windowsill and jumped in, immediately pulling her into his embrace.

“Lele, I’m sorry. I came too late.” Chen An’s voice was hoarse.