After the college entrance exam, graduating students packed their bags and were picked up by their parents from school. The teacher of the homestay family asked Miao Jing when she would move out. Miao Jing didn’t know how to answer, so the teacher contacted Chen Yi instead.

He came to pick her up at six in the morning, his demeanor domineering and unrestrained. His gaze toward her was distant and indifferent, his body a mixture of cigarette smoke, perfume, and sweat, with faint dark circles under his eyes suggesting he hadn’t slept all night. He threw Miao Jing’s suitcase into the car.

Turning the steering wheel toward home, Chen Yi received a phone call halfway. The other party discussed some thorny matters with him, seeking Chen Yi’s advice and connections. Chen Yi focused on talking, and after hanging up, he saw Miao Jing staring out the window with a stubborn expression, her profile quiet and beautiful, her eyebrows and lashes like ink, hiding a deep loneliness, depicting an indescribable vivacity and delicacy.

They carried things upstairs, the home a complete mess. He had rarely been home these two months and hadn’t bothered to clean up. He pushed Miao Jing forward as she stood unable to find footing, making her stumble and kick over a beer bottle on the ground.

“Stay put yourself, don’t go out much, don’t cause trouble for me. Whatever matters can wait until after you get your admission notice.”

Chen Yi saw Miao Jing walking straight to her room and called out from behind her: “Did you hear me?”

“I know.”

The house had no shortage of daily necessities. In the hot weather, Miao Jing stayed home doing housework, reading, sleeping, and looking for part-time work online. She remained housebound, patiently waiting for her college entrance exam results. She estimated her score wouldn’t be low and should be enough for a good university.

Chen Yi didn’t come home every day, sometimes returning once every two or three days, casually bringing some food to put in the refrigerator, and checking what Miao Jing was doing at home.

Her hair had grown too long, and she cut it herself to shoulder length at home. Since she didn’t go out, she spent all day at home in loose sleeping gowns. Suddenly relaxed, she read books and watched movies, her schedule becoming reversed. Sometimes when Chen Yi came home at two or three in the morning, he would see her curled up on the sofa intently watching television. All the lights were off, only the TV screen’s light reflecting on her rippling face, her slender white legs curled up on the sofa. Occasionally she would fall asleep just like that, the fan’s cool breeze blowing her loose hair across her cheeks, like a quiet porcelain doll, like Sleeping Beauty.

His dark gaze fixed firmly on her, silent, his cold eyes contemplating something unknown. He would wake her up, gruffly telling her to make him something to eat. Miao Jing, her cheeks red from sleep, would lazily yawn and go to the kitchen to make him clear noodle soup, absentmindedly adding a handful of salt, and then finding some leftover dishes from the refrigerator to make do. She would quietly curl back up on the sofa to watch TV while Chen Yi ate that overly salty bowl of noodles, tasting something different—her heart had grown cold toward him.

This ungrateful girl.

“At home all day and you don’t even wash clothes?” After finishing the noodles, Chen Yi drank water frantically, holding the water bottle while standing by the sofa. “Where are my clothes?”

“Washed them,” she rested her chin on her hand, staring at the TV, responding slowly, “All hanging on the balcony, find them yourself.”

Chen Yi licked his back teeth, putting his hands on his hips and taking large strides.

Sometimes he’d come back at noon, the house completely quiet, and she would still be sleeping peacefully in bed. Chen Yi would open her door directly to talk to her. Miao Jing found him annoying, covering her eyes with her arm, frowning as she tried to sleep. He would come forward to grab her arm, calling her to get up for lunch. Miao Jing would suppress her impatience, and get up to eat a few bites with him. He wouldn’t let her cook, bringing takeout lunch from restaurants himself. After eating, she would take a bowl of peeled shrimp out the door. When he asked where she was going, internally disapproving of her going out in a sleeping gown, Miao Jing would put on a coat, saying she was just going downstairs to feed the stray cats.

From the balcony, he watched her crouching beside the garbage bins downstairs, affectionately petting several plump stray cats, her back and arms looking thin and weak. So apparently most of the food he’d brought home these days had gone into the stray cats’ bellies.

On the day the college entrance exam results came out, Chen Yi saw the news. He hadn’t had time to go home these past two days, so he called Miao Jing to ask about her score. The call wouldn’t connect, so he hurriedly dropped everything to rush home. Miao Jing wasn’t there, but her phone was. Chen Yi rushed out again to look for her, seeing Miao Jing returning with a pitifully small cake. Her cold, clear gaze fell on him, then turned away as she continued on her path.

Chen Yi breathed a sigh of relief, asking why she went out without her phone. Miao Jing said quietly that she had forgotten. Regarding the exam score, she had already checked—653 points, enough for a very good school.

“Celebrating with such a small cake?” His handsome face held a smile, “I’ll have someone deliver a big cake, so we can properly enjoy it.”

“No need, it’s too sweet, I don’t like it,” her voice was flat. “This was a promotional free sample from the bakery, given out with exam scores.”

Chen Yi had an idea, thinking about taking her out for a meal to celebrate, but Miao Jing’s response was cold. She unwrapped the cake, ate two bites with a spoon, and then lay on her bed, holding a college application guide and reading.

“Miao Jing, did you hear what I said?”

She ignored him, covering herself with the blanket and taking an afternoon nap.

Miao Jing filled out all her college applications for far-away schools, sending them to Chen Yi to see, as he had wished. Chen Yi was at a social gathering at the time, and when he saw the message come in on his phone, he glanced at it casually, his expression becoming slightly unnatural, his eyes hiding a faint shadow, but he didn’t say anything, only replying to Miao Jing with one word: okay.

After submitting her college applications, Miao Jing planned to go out to work. She could apply for student loans for tuition, but living expenses and travel costs were essential. She found herself a summer job at an electronics factory in the suburbs, paying 2,500 yuan per month with room and board included. Working for two months would be about enough. She packed a few clothes and left without telling Chen Yi.

The electronics factory had ten-hour workdays, and the work was relatively simple, though the shift work was somewhat tiring. After a few days, Miao Jing received a call from Chen Yi asking where she was. Miao Jing said she was at work. His tone was unfriendly on the phone, saying if she ran off again without telling him, he would give her another beating.

Miao Jing coldly hung up the phone.

Chen Yi found the electronics factory himself, frowned at the factory environment, and told her to pack up and go home. Miao Jing refused, so he forcibly dragged her to the car, saying she was ungrateful and didn’t know what was good for her, that she didn’t need to earn these few yuan, telling her to stay at home.

They started arguing again.

Miao Jing was thoroughly tired of this way of living. She didn’t want to go back, didn’t want to live with Chen Yi, and didn’t want to spend his money or receive his favors anymore. She wanted to live quietly by herself, far away from him. If given another choice, she would rather have followed Wei Mingzhen back then, or returned to her hometown—anything would be better than her current life. Staying in Teng City was her biggest regret.

“What’s the rush? You’ll be free soon anyway. Once you get your admission notice, you can go wherever you want, no one can control you.”

“Yes, we’ll both be free.” Her tone was icy. “Don’t worry, I’ll get far away, and never interfere with your business again.”

“That would be great. I’ve put up with you for so many years, just consider it doing good deeds and burning incense for myself. You’d better not interfere with me anymore. We’ll part ways, call it even. You walk your sunny path, I’ll cross my single-plank bridge. Don’t tell anyone you know Chen Yi in the future, and I’ll pretend I never knew you either.”

She set her jaw: “Fine.”

They exchanged words, him saying she was cold-hearted, her saying he was ruthlessly ambitious, arguing until they declared they’d never interact again, truly ending everything and becoming strangers. Both were shaking with anger. Miao Jing sat stiffly on the sofa while Chen Yi stood in the room frowning and chain-smoking. He received another call, from some woman, and despite his cold expression, he could naturally flirt a bit, laughing and asking about what important clients she’d entertained last night, which bureau’s bigwig, idly asking when she’d have time to keep him company.

After the call, Chen Yi’s expression grew darker and more melancholic. He flicked his heavy cigarette ash, exhaled a breath of smoke, then turned to look at Miao Jing. She still had that stubborn, cold little face, biting her lower lip, eyes filled with tears. Her eyelashes blinked, and a tear quietly slid down her cheek.

Chen Yi’s heart ached terribly. He silently walked to her side, finishing his last few drags of the cigarette in gloomy silence. He tossed the butt away, bent down, and wrapped his arms around her, using great force to press her tightly against his chest, holding her entire body in his embrace.

His rich, strong scent surrounded her, his grip on her shoulders painful. Miao Jing struggled to twist away, but he pulled her back, calling her name in deep tones, each call lingering like smoke, painful as if inhaled into the lungs. Her tears fell uncontrollably, and seeing them, he reached out tenderly to wipe them away. The light, cool tears wet his fingertips. His eyes sank into those faint tear lights, lowering his head to kiss the tear tracks on her face, from her cheeks to the corners of her eyes, his burning lips pressing against her closed eyes, gently sucking away her fragile tears.

“Be good, Miao Jing…”

Her shoulders trembled as she cried silently, remembering only his bad sides. He had never treated her well since childhood, from age eight to eighteen, he had never treated her properly. He kept abandoning her again and again, saying things that hurt her, ignoring her important days, completely ignorant of her feelings.

The tears wouldn’t stop. His kisses hesitantly moved to her lips, both pairs of lips trembling. He anxiously captured her cherry lips, enveloping them in his faintly tobacco-scented mouth, carefully testing to deepen this soft, sweet kiss. In his dreams that kept him tossing and turning at night, in his fantasies that occasionally made his heart race when he gazed at her, his wet tongue inadvertently slipped in, touching her moist, slick tongue tip.

Miao Jing became clear-headed for a moment amid the numbing, dizzy trembling, furiously hitting his arms, pinching, scratching, and twisting him. Chen Yi tightly gripped both her arms, stopping this wet, gentle kiss despite the negligible pain. He hid her tear-wet face against his neck, his fingers repeatedly stroking her black hair, his gaze unconsciously falling forward as he held her silently.

What should he say? Say that he had realized he liked her, wanted to love her, that she was important, that he wanted to keep her by his side and form a family? He could barely protect himself now, living each day in trepidation, afraid of being exposed and getting a bullet in his head. Say he didn’t mean to treat her this way, that he was afraid someone would discover he had a sister, a weakness? Without armor, he could still be bulletproof—when did he develop tenderness and vulnerability? He regretted not letting her go with Wei Mingzhen back then at school, taking that money and leaving, ending everything there.

He had regrets too.

Miao Jing lay lazily on his shoulder, her clear eyes open, her heart empty and desolate. She heard him ask in a hoarse, low voice if she wanted money. He’d buy her the most fashionable dresses and jewelry, the newest phones and laptops. She was leaving soon anyway, so no more fighting, they should both talk less and peacefully spend their remaining days together.

There weren’t many good days left. Recently there had been tension and everyone was on edge. Judging from Zhou Kang’an’s movements, the police planned to take down Zhai Fengmao’s entire group, though it was unclear if they could root it out completely. The police’s strategy was to first let internal fighting occur, provoke conflicts with other Teng City gangs to weaken both sides and then intervene after they were mutually wounded, using this opportunity to catch everyone in one net. Chen Yi was caught in the middle, with an uncertain outcome.

Miao Jing no longer bothered to argue with Chen Yi, staying obediently at home, washing clothes, cooking, and doing housework. Chen Yi usually came home at one or two in the morning, sometimes drunk, sometimes carrying a gun. She occasionally overheard his crude phone conversations but didn’t want to care anymore, just making him hangover soup. When drunk, he’d see her in the kitchen wearing a small camisole, her skin glowing white, and after staring for a while, his eyes would turn red. Finally, after finishing his cigarette, he couldn’t help walking up behind her, embracing her, quietly placing alcohol-tinged kisses on her neck and ears.

They were young—she eighteen, he twenty—their bodies at an age full of vitality, filled with intense curiosity about the opposite sex. He had DVDs in his room that he sometimes watched at home, and encountered plenty outside. Every day he relied on fantasies to satisfy himself. Having lived together so long, even sleeping in the same bed, they weren’t so careful about clothes at home, sometimes dressing lightly and thinly. Some things, though vaguely seen, could satisfy fantasies.

Chen Yi didn’t explain these actions much. It was normal for young men to have desires toward beautiful young women. With just the two of them at home, crossing boundaries when angry or drunk… Besides, he just wanted to hold her, hold this slender, cold shadow, not daring to act on his dirty thoughts.

When he held her, Miao Jing could vaguely feel the changes in his body. When cleaning his room, she had seen those DVDs. She watched them too, frowning reluctantly, her expression cold and clear, showing no trace of shyness or pleasure. After the films ended, she even somewhat despised Chen Yi—he was a real bastard, dating girlfriends and making flirtatious phone calls with women.

The college admission results came out, and Miao Jing successfully received her university acceptance letter. The school sent a thick EMS package, including detailed introductions to college life and the city, enough to make one dream about the future. Chen Yi carefully read every paper and booklet—transportation methods, enrollment procedures, military training and major course introductions, school life, and social activities, phone cards, and bank cards…

His eyes sparkled, his expression slightly smiling, body language hiding satisfaction and pride. How could he not be impressive? After all, Miao Jing had grown up with him. No matter how wayward he was, he’d managed to raise a university-educated sister. In a few years, she could wear professional attire in and out of high-end office buildings, travel the world speaking fluent English, join the elite class, and live a different life.

Chen Yi specially cleared his schedule to stay home, ordered a table full of dishes, and brought two bottles of wine from the nightclub, toasting their bright futures. Their parting ways also meant their respective successes. They had both endured their hardships. He seemed to see a stumbling little bird finally becoming a swan, flying higher and farther.

Miao Jing had no reason to stay in Teng City anymore.

That night Chen Yi smoked many cigarettes and drank a lot. When drunk he usually didn’t like to talk, only intimidating people with his cold, gleaming eyes, yet he chatted endlessly with Miao Jing. She responded coldly and perfunctorily, finally helping the stumbling Chen Yi back to his room to rest. She wiped his face and limbs with a cool, damp towel, cleaning his body sprawled casually on the bed, then fed him some milk. He opened his hazy eyes to look at her once. She lay beside him, her cheek resting on her arm, lying face-to-face with him, her beautiful soft eyes quietly staring at him.

Chen Yi’s lips curled up in a smile as he casually pulled her into his arms.