Song Langsheng’s sword gleamed coldly under the moonlight. I gazed at him intently: “What, do you really want to carry me out horizontally as a human shield? Or… silence me permanently?”
Song Langsheng was momentarily stunned, then sheathed his sword, using it like a cane to support himself as he leaned on the hilt. “Wishful thinking.” He sighed, “Princess, your actions tonight were far too risky. If it had been someone else instead of me—some other expert—they might have truly silenced you first before asking questions…”
I remained silent in the gloom.
Song Langsheng chose a spot and sat down leisurely, saying in a flat tone: “What the Princess said just now was… ‘it really is you.’ From this, it seems the Princess had already anticipated that the one who gave you the Soul-Forgetting Powder was me?”
I glanced at him sideways: “Your tone makes it sound like what you fed me wasn’t Soul-Forgetting Powder but some thousand-year-old lingzhi mushroom…”
Song Langsheng thought for a moment and said: “In terms of value, mine was more expensive…”
I: “…”
Song Langsheng half-reclined in his chair, the corner of his mouth slightly curved upward, though his eyes held not a trace of mirth: “Could the Princess tell me when you first began to suspect me?”
My vision felt somewhat hazy, so I simply sat down beside him and slowly said: “From when I regained my identity as princess and returned to this mansion to spend day and night with you, you treated me extremely well from beginning to end. Though occasionally you were difficult to fathom, I only attributed it to your temperament and didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until that day I entered the palace and the Crown Prince, upon our long-awaited reunion, concernedly asked me this and that, that I finally sensed something was amiss.”
Song Langsheng made a sound of acknowledgment. “You felt I didn’t ask enough questions?”
I shook my head. “Do you know what the Crown Prince’s first question to me was? He said, ‘Imperial Sister, that day you went to prepare a surprise at Jade Dragon Manor to celebrate your consort’s birthday, but when everyone arrived, why had you disappeared?'”
Song Langsheng was momentarily stunned. I looked at him and said: “I went missing while preparing for your birthday celebration. Of course, this doesn’t mean my disappearance was caused by you, but I had been missing for nearly a year, and when I reunited with you, what was your first question to me?”
Song Langsheng’s body stiffened slightly.
I continued: “You asked where I had been during my long disappearance. Consort, this question seemed perfectly normal, and the Crown Prince had asked it too, but… compared to that, shouldn’t you have been more concerned about why I disappeared? Publicly, I am the Princess Regent, holding the governance of the entire nation, surrounded by countless guards—how could I simply vanish without a trace? Privately, I am your wife, and I disappeared while preparing for your birthday celebration. What exactly happened in between? Was someone plotting against me? Weren’t you the least bit curious or worried?”
“You weren’t worried, and you never even asked about it once. What does this indicate?” I said lightly, “This indicates that from the very beginning, you knew why I disappeared and how I disappeared, doesn’t it?”
I watched as a trace of a smile appeared on Song Langsheng’s lips: “The Princess is indeed exceptionally gifted.”
I smiled as well: “I often wondered why when you looked at me, your eyes always held something different from others. At first… I thought it was affection, but that night when you pulled me down to lie on the grass and watch the stars, I finally realized it was guilt. Consort, perhaps you yourself haven’t noticed, but when you look at me, your eyebrows here always deliberately smooth out, as if they had involuntarily furrowed with deep, heavy guilt.”
Song Langsheng looked at me quietly. After a moment, he nodded slightly: “If so, then all this time your trust in me has been an act, and when you said ‘we’ve always been together,’ that was also deliberately testing me?”
I said: “Weren’t you the same? All that blushing, anger, and jealousy—wasn’t it all performed?”
Song Langsheng stood up, his lips curling in a cold smile: “So this is how the Princess actually sees me.”
Before I could speak again, he abruptly swept his sleeves and left. I was stunned and hurried out the door, following his steps: “What exactly is this supposed to mean?”
He snorted and ignored me, quickening his pace and soon leaving me a considerable distance behind.
I was completely bewildered.
What was this situation? I thought to myself—shouldn’t I be the one storming off in anger while he follows behind apologizing? How has everything completely reversed?
This Jun Ping Street was considered one of the narrower roads in the capital. Moreover, it was now deep into the night, the trees yearning for stillness while the wind would not cease, and the moon was once again obscured by clouds, adding an eerie atmosphere.
I glimpsed a figure standing in a distant corner, staring directly at me. His clothes were tattered—he seemed like a beggar, or perhaps a vagrant. His strange gaze made my skin crawl, so I could only lower my head and walk straight ahead, pretending nothing was amiss. Who would have thought that person would suddenly charge toward me? My heart pounding, I fled all the way while he, not weak in speed, pursued relentlessly. Just as he was about to catch up, I dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding him.
The man roared and lunged forward, pinning me to the ground!
A brief, dazzling white light cut through the air with a sharp sound. The sword tip pierced through the man’s shoulder blade. He cried out in agony and fell. Before I could react, someone wrapped an arm around my waist and retreated several yards from the fallen man.
I thought I must be seeing things, otherwise how could I see Song Langsheng’s face pale as paper in such faint moonlight that could barely be noticed?
Song Langsheng’s voice trembled slightly: “Are you hurt?”
This question brought me back to my senses. I looked at his hand around my waist, feeling our position was somewhat improper, and stepped back: “I’m fine.”
Then we heard maniacal laughter. The beggar-like figure threw back his head and laughed wildly, almost breathless with laughter, completely deranged. Obviously, he had been mad to begin with. He covered his shoulder wound with one hand and supported himself with a wooden crutch with the other as he turned to leave. I asked Song Langsheng: “Will he… die from that?”
Song Langsheng said angrily: “You still have the mood to worry about such a person’s life or death?”
I muttered: “Who told you to walk so fast…”
Song Langsheng was furious: “Don’t you have shadow guards?”
I spoke evasively: “Those were all temporarily hired and are still guarding Kang Lin’s mansion. How could they follow me at all times…”
Song Langsheng asked: “Princess, don’t you have your own shadow guards?”
I said: “At first I was afraid that those in the mansion… might already be your people, so… I was afraid they would leak information, therefore…”
Song Langsheng’s gaze dimmed, and he was about to turn away again. I quickly grabbed him: “Even if you’re going to be angry, you should at least see me safely home first.”
Song Langsheng stopped and looked back at me, then pulled me along in silence, walking slowly.
This stretch of road felt very long, perhaps because we were walking slowly, or perhaps because time was passing too slowly for us. I pondered that I must say something to break this awkwardness, but unexpectedly he spoke first: “Princess…”
I turned my head to meet his clear, bright eyes: “What is it?”
He lowered his eyelids without changing expression: “I’m sorry.”
I said: “You can’t be blamed for what just happened…”
“I mean,” Song Langsheng said, “I shouldn’t have used Soul-Forgetting Powder on you.”
My mind was in chaos. I smiled bitterly: “It would seem too false to answer ‘it’s alright.’ Song Langsheng, may I ask you—why did you drug me? Was it your idea? Or someone else’s? Could it be that someone else wanted me dead, and you used the drug to protect me…?”
“Because I… wanted to leave the Princess.”
I looked at Song Langsheng. Whether it was because the night was too cold or the moonlight too dim, I felt his gaze at me was different from usual. He spoke, his voice penetrating my heart like cold wind: “Because I was unwilling to spend my life with the Princess, yet suffered from being coerced by the Princess, so I wanted to use this drug to make the Princess lose her memory. I could take this opportunity to arrange certain matters and safely escape with my family, far from the capital. From then on, to the ends of the earth, never to meet again.”
So simple!
No greater conspiracy, no elaborate schemes—merely this!
My voice involuntarily trembled like the night itself: “You… just for this reason, you left me abandoned among the common people, left me facing life and death uncertainties. Do you know what I experienced during that year? Do you know how many times I hung between life and death? Do you know that I even…”
“I’m sorry.” He still gave the same response. “The Princess’s disappearance… was not my intention. I also didn’t know why the Princess at that time would…”
“What happened to me then? How exactly did I disappear?”
Song Langsheng shook his head: “These memories the Princess will gradually recover. When that time comes… you will naturally know…”
I had a belly full of bitter complaints with nowhere to vent, but he blocked them all back. I tried to calm myself and said: “Since you’re so determined to leave me, why do you still remain in the capital concealing the truth and helping the Crown Prince manage state affairs?”
Song Langsheng was silent for a long while, then sighed: “Perhaps the Princess is right—I feel guilty and uneasy in my conscience. The Princess’s complete disappearance was caused by my own hand. If I cannot find the Princess and confirm her safety, I cannot be at peace wherever I go.”
Several months ago, a man told me he wanted to marry me, wanted to take me away—to the ends of the earth, anywhere could be home.
But that person abandoned me and went far away.
Several months later, the man before me tells me he was unwilling to marry me, he wanted to leave me—to the ends of the earth, preferably never to meet again.
Yet this person stayed by my side, close at hand.
The only thing they had in common was that neither of their feelings were real.
Neither of them had ever liked me; both deceived and misled me.
I don’t know why, but suddenly I felt my life was very ironic. Heaven seemed to always enjoy giving me surprises, letting me immerse myself in them, then telling me: wake up, this is nothing but a great dream.
Too good, too coincidental, too smooth—of course it wasn’t real.
Song Langsheng was not wrong. It was I who forced him to enter the mansion as this consort. He merely wanted to choose his own life and exact his own revenge. What wrong was there in that?
So even if at that time I had spent three months learning to paint for him, preparing birthday celebrations and surprises for him, while he was raising funds to buy poison, plotting to drug me and cast me far among the common people—I deserved it.
Fortunately, fortunately I forgot him, forgot that I had once liked him so much.
Fortunately, fortunately I fell in love with another person, pouring all my love and hate, all my resentment, onto that person.
What I gain is my fortune; what I lose is my fate.
I laughed softly and said gently: “Consort, I have harmed you, and you have harmed me. Let us consider ourselves even.”
Song Langsheng was momentarily stunned. Under the moonlight flowing like water, his eyes were very bright.
I said: “This… will be the last time I call you consort. From now on, you need not feel guilty anymore, nor need you rack your brains thinking of how to avoid me. Ah, and you needn’t spend that wasted money on such terrible drugs anymore—how miserably you were cheated.”
Song Langsheng said hoarsely: “What… do you mean by this?”
I patted his shoulder and smiled: “I won’t think about how to tie you down anymore. You can continue staying in the capital as your Court of Judicial Review Minister, or of course, if you’re uneasy, you can go far away. With my exceptional talents, how could those petty court matters trouble me?”
“You…”
“I mean,” I said, “let us divorce.”
Update divider line
Song Langsheng seemed somewhat at a loss. Looking at his face and neck area by moonlight, they seemed to be flushed red. It was the first time I’d seen him not know how to respond, so I said: “You needn’t feel troubled. This princess is magnanimous—past events are like passing clouds, not worth mentioning.”
Song Langsheng said expressionlessly: “Passing clouds, not worth mentioning?”
I smiled sheepishly: “Though I can’t say I completely don’t mind… but if a person doesn’t let go, wouldn’t that be making things difficult for oneself?”
Song Langsheng’s expression was inscrutable as he continued: “How does the Princess know whether you’re truly letting go or… simply unaware because you’ve forgotten?”
I mused: “That makes sense. If I remember everything in half a year, I might regret it. Why don’t… I have the Crown Prince grant you a gold medallion of immunity from death, and I’ll personally write an imperial decree. You can find a trustworthy witness—from then on, no one will be able to harm you.”
Song Langsheng lowered his eyes: “Should I also be grateful for the Princess’s thoughtful consideration?”
I said: “Don’t speak so formally. After all, it’s better to settle all those grudges and resentments cleanly.”
Song Langsheng smiled coldly. That face, beautiful whether angry or happy, showed disdain: “Settled? Though the Princess may not hold my wrongs against me, I have never said I would forgive the Princess. When the Princess first returned to the mansion and asked about my attitude toward you, do you remember my answer?”
That day? I recalled briefly: “Don’t tell me it was that ‘love and hate intertwined’ line?”
Song Langsheng curved his lips slightly: “Since Princess Highness believes that my past actions were not from admiration but only guilt, I have no way to argue. However, my hatred for the Princess is real. I have not yet collected what the Princess owes me for what you did to me—how could I let it go?”
“So you stayed behind to seek revenge,” I was momentarily speechless. “Then how do you want to exact this revenge before it’s settled? Ah, I remember you said I once threatened your relatives. Hehe, you’re surely not thinking of kidnapping Father Emperor and the Crown Prince, are you?”
Before I could finish this jest, Song Langsheng approached close to my side. In the next instant, my mind thundered and my whole body froze.
From the depths of memory flashed a figure—that warm-as-spring-sun figure embracing my shoulder under the azure sky, slowly bending down, warm lips overlapping with the cold touch before my eyes…
I suddenly opened my eyes wide and stepped back. Song Langsheng, seeing me trying to dodge while our lips and tongues were entwined, was quite displeased and tightened his hold on me. I struggled to break free several times but couldn’t, vaguely sensing he emanated a kind of mad intensity.
Finally, when he released his lips and withdrew a few inches from me, I saw his eyes like a mist-shrouded lake, without laughter, his expression carrying something indescribable. I pressed one hand against my wildly beating heart and forced myself to remain calm: “Song Langsheng, don’t go too far…”
Song Langsheng straightened up, looking down at me: “I’m merely collecting a debt.”
So… this is how I forcibly whatevered him back then? I struggled to speak, my voice not sounding like my own: “This… what kind of debt collecting is this…”
Song Langsheng lowered his voice: “Of course it’s not—far from enough. Since I’m leaving, I should at least complete what a consort should do.”
Seeing Song Langsheng approach me again, unable to struggle free or escape, I simply crouched down, hugged my head and shouted: “Wait wait wait, we’re on a main street here—it wouldn’t be good to corrupt public morals…”
“The Princess means we can continue once we return to the mansion?”
“That won’t work either! I mean…” I stammered: “You don’t need to be so agitated. We can discuss this properly…”
Song Langsheng’s voice floated above my head: “Discuss properly?”
I tilted my head and glanced up at him sideways, confirming he had no intention of pouncing on anyone in the street, before saying: “You’re extremely, very, completely irrational right now.”
Song Langsheng was wiping the red bloodstains remaining on his lips with the back of his hand… apparently from when I bit him while resisting. I felt my face flush red and said: “Alright, I admit I’m not very rational either. Let me organize my thoughts and words…”
Song Langsheng still said nothing, looking like he had nothing to discuss with me.
I took a deep breath and said: “From what I know, the harm I did you was ‘forcibly abducting you into the mansion, cooking rice with raw rice then forcing you to petition His Majesty for a marriage decree. When you refused unto death, I threatened your family members’ lives to make you comply’—this is what you told me originally. In other words, my willingness to let you leave is the best way to express sincerity, but you clearly do not wish to divorce me.”
Song Langsheng looked up at me but remained silent.
I pointed at him: “Look, the current situation is that you’re hiding things from me and won’t say anything. In traditional drama scripts, at moments like this, perhaps it’s due to some difficulty, or I had some heartbreak in the past that you don’t want to tell me about, hoping I’ll forget everything and continue carefree like this, but… the problem is I’ll recover all my memories within half a year.”
Song Langsheng fell silent for a moment.
“Which means I’ll eventually remember everything—you can’t hide it for long. But why do you still insist on hiding it?” I said: “If you don’t want to divorce me because you’ve fallen in love with me, shouldn’t you be good to me and honest with me instead, seeking my genuine forgiveness, so I might accept you again and be with you after I recover all my memories? Thinking back just now, though you’ve always treated me well, you deliberately maintain a certain distance. Even when I questioned and misunderstood you, you offered no explanation. As Court of Judicial Review Minister, your conduct shouldn’t be so ambiguous.”
Song Langsheng actually smiled: “So what is the Princess’s conclusion?”
I said: “My conclusion is—Song Langsheng, though your brain sometimes has extreme behaviors, sometimes acts a bit strangely, and your words can sometimes be a bit sharp-tongued…”
Song Langsheng: “…”
I continued: “But you are a clever person. Someone like you wouldn’t be controlled by me. Even if coerced, you’d have other ways to escape—you wouldn’t be trapped in the mansion by me, much less resort to poison as such a risky method of escape. I believe you hate me, but you haven’t told me the real reason for your deep hatred. I’m afraid the reason for using Soul-Forgetting Powder isn’t as simple as you told me. But if from the very beginning you deliberately allowed me to force you to be this consort, deliberately stayed by my side, then many inexplicable things would suddenly make sense.”
Song Langsheng’s expression grew stern, his brow furrowing.
“What is your purpose in being consort? What did you originally want to do during my period of amnesia? Did my disappearance disrupt your plans or allow you to act more freely? These… I have no way of knowing. What I know now is that before I recover my memory, you must continue staying by my side to complete your plan, so you are unwilling to divorce me.”
I exhaled and said: “But if you won’t choose divorce, then I choose to sever all ties with you!”
Song Langsheng’s eyes, calm as an ancient well, rippled: “The Princess is quick-witted. When I leave, you should be quite capable of handling the Court of Judicial Review position.”
This random comment left me rather bewildered.
Song Langsheng said: “But what if I told you that everything the Princess saw and encountered during those days among the common people, including this person Xu Fang, were all carefully arranged and orchestrated by me—could you still so calmly let me leave?”
—End of Chapter—
Author’s Note:
Alright, I’ve been scolded half to death, and even I think I deserve it. I admit I really don’t want to write. Every time I open the document I want to bang my head against the wall, but once I open PPS I watch endlessly. Just finished TVB’s “The Ultimate Truth” and now “Sniper Standoff” is here… Then when I finally want to write, other work disrupts me… Then… until I see urging comments do I tremblingly come to write… Damn, am I masochistic and need whipping…
During my time in Europe, though I didn’t write, I wrote several pages of outline. This Yi Shou Zhe Tian Yi Shou Chui Di – Chapter is transitional—starting next Yi Shou Zhe Tian Yi Shou Chui Di – Chapter shouldn’t be so stuck! I won’t make empty promises anymore about updating on certain dates—I can’t even trust myself… From now on when I promise updates, it’ll definitely be already written!
Alright, the editor has been nagging for a month telling me to go VIP, and I kept refusing because once it’s VIP I have to update on schedule… orz. This time the editor issued an ultimatum, so I gritted my teeth and agreed. Maybe next chapter, maybe the one after—anyway, it’ll be VIP soon… For some waiting for updates this might be good news, for those afraid of spending money maybe bad news… Anyway for me it’s going to be a prolonged battle…
I don’t like VIP mainly for two reasons: one is I can’t drag out updates, two is comments and clicks decrease as everyone goes to read pirated versions. Well, there are some perks to reading my VIP chapters. First: after VIP, if the plot is unsatisfactory—like appearing dragged out, boring, nonsensical, or trashy—basically if you’re genuinely unsatisfied, find me in the group and I’ll refund your money (by “refund” I mean I’ll reimburse even the portion * took away). Second: those who write long reviews will definitely get points for reading. Besides that, VIP purchasers who write long reviews will get free books when published. I can probably give away 60 books, first 60 people~~ Also sometimes there are restricted-rated scenes I can’t post, which VIP buyers can receive…
Cough, about the plot.
Who the male lead is really isn’t worth asking anymore. I’m very responsive to popular opinion.
Actually you should ask who the second male lead is—that question is quite mysterious and confusing.
Has the plot started? This question I can now answer—it should start very soon.
The outline has several sections: Fang Family Mystery Arc—Imperial Academy Arc—Nie Family Arc—Maritime Arc—Court Arc—Former Crown Prince Arc—and so on. So many! Damn, not one has even started yet. I really want to die…
So I’m going to write…
The pressure is overwhelming, no explanation needed…