From that day forward, I never stepped foot outside the Princess Mansion again.

When father emperor summoned me, I claimed illness and didn’t go. When the crown prince sent people, I had them turned away. Now, even if the sky fell, I couldn’t care less—what did those various troublesome matters have to do with me?

In the past when facing setbacks, I would always sigh and say, “If I weren’t born into the imperial family, if I weren’t a princess, I should be able to live much more easily.” Now those words had come true, but instead it made me deeply understand what it meant to “talk without understanding the pain”—anyone can speak lightly when things haven’t befallen them. If a person could still calmly say things like “since ancient times, who hasn’t died, when will grievance and revenge end, the past is like clouds and smoke, why persist endlessly” after learning that their biological father was harmed by their adoptive mother, it could only mean that adoptive mother was truly wealthy, and revenge would be disadvantageous for inheritance.

Indeed, my adoptive parents were quite wealthy.

I wasn’t quite at the point of staying in the mansion all day lamenting miserably. Though whenever I recalled my biological parents’ experiences at night I felt somewhat resentful and sleepless, they were ultimately too distant from me. I didn’t know what my biological father looked like or what his temperament was, and though my biological mother knew of my existence, she had never tried to find me. I didn’t even know they existed—one side had never fulfilled their responsibility, the other had never shown filial piety. Between us, how much familial affection could there be?

For these twenty years, I had devoted all my emotions toward parents to father emperor and mother empress. Now, how could I bear this?

Just when I thought I would suffocate in the mansion and waste away, father emperor came.

Father emperor personally visiting the Princess Mansion was such a major event that there was no prior notification, frightening everyone in the mansion into trembling confusion. At that time I was lounging on a chaise reading, when Steward Liu came tumbling into the room, saying tremblingly, “Prin-princess, something terrible—His Majesty has come to visit…”

I was so startled I fell right off the chair.

The reason for my shock naturally wasn’t because father emperor came to see me—when his health was robust, he would occasionally come to the Princess Mansion for tea and meals. But recently he had been so ill he couldn’t even get out of bed, so how could he manage to come here?

I couldn’t spare time to ponder his intentions. I had Liu Bo and the others prepare everything properly in the front hall and immediately went to receive him.

Father emperor entered the mansion seated in a wooden wheelchair, slowly pushed by palace attendants. He still wore dark robes but couldn’t conceal his sickly appearance—gaunt-faced, he could never return to that imperial majesty he once displayed in the golden hall.

I felt inexplicably sad and walked forward several steps, kneeling in greeting: “Your daughter pays respects to father emperor.”

His meaningful gaze fell on my face. After a long moment, he sighed: “That you can still call me father emperor brings great comfort to my heart…”

I remained noncommittal, only saying: “But father emperor has forgotten the imperial physicians’ instructions. Your health hasn’t recovered and can’t withstand the cold air—how could you leave the palace?”

A trace of helplessness appeared on father emperor’s pale face: “I summoned you to the palace and you wouldn’t come, so I could only come find you myself.”

I was left speechless.

He dismissed all the attending servants, leaving only the two of us in the hall.

This was the first time in my life I felt awkward being alone with father emperor. I sat beside him, not knowing what to say, when I suddenly heard him ask: “Are you still angry with me?”

I shook my head gently: “Regarding past events, father emperor was also kept in the dark…”

Father emperor said: “I’m referring to my pushing you into a position you didn’t want to occupy, making you do things you didn’t want to do.”

We were both silent for a while before I spoke: “I’ve also thought carefully about this these past few days… Whether it’s the principles of governing or major court affairs, these were all things father emperor taught me from childhood. I never liked embroidery or poetry and songs from a young age, but I was quite interested in these matters. It can’t be said that father emperor forced me to do things I didn’t want to do… I think even if I truly were father emperor’s biological daughter, for the greater good, for the state and society, you would still push me into that position… As for me, I grew up eating imperial food and receiving imperial favor. In that position I should fulfill those duties. As long as I remain Daqing’s princess for even one day, I should bear the responsibilities that belong to me. What does this have to do with whether I possess imperial bloodline? Those civil and military officials in the full court who serve the country devotedly—how many of them have any connection to the imperial family?”

He silently raised his eyes, surprise flickering through them: “I… hadn’t expected you to think this way… You don’t resent me, but you resent the empress?”

I lowered my eyes: “She ultimately harmed my parents—how could I not resent her?”

“What do you plan to do?”

“She raised me for twenty years. When I was ill, she fed me medicine and broth. When seasons changed, she reminded me to add or remove clothing. Whether sincere or false, she did what a mother should do… If someday my biological mother wants revenge, I absolutely won’t obstruct her. But if I’m expected to do something, what could I do? Moreover, she is Jingyan’s mother. When Jingyan ascends the throne, the court cannot be without an empress dowager… Isn’t that why father emperor has never dealt with the empress? There are no perfect solutions in this world—gaining this means losing that. Even father emperor cannot act on impulse, let alone me?”

Father emperor sighed and tremblingly beckoned me closer. My heart softened and I simply rose to kneel beside his knees: “Does father emperor have more to say to Tang’er?”

He placed his hand over mine on his knee and patted it gently: “Tang’er, do you know why I told you all those truths in detail before the empress? You didn’t hear much at the door—if I had wanted to be evasive, I could have made up any excuse.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head: “Tang’er doesn’t know.”

He said thoughtfully: “I only have these few days left…”

“Father emperor…” I couldn’t help but interrupt him. He raised his hand to signal me not to speak and continued: “After I’m gone, you will be the empress’s greatest threat. She feels both guilty and fearful toward you, and will eventually reveal your background… Over all these years you’ve done so many things in court as a princess, offending countless people. Not to mention others—just those male favorites in your mansion back then were guilty of grave crimes, yet you disregarded law and saved them. Others remained silent only because you were a princess. If they learned you have no imperial bloodline, they would attack you in groups, listing a hundred crimes to condemn you to death. At that time, even Jingyan couldn’t save you…”

I curved my lips slightly: “Tang’er naturally understands this.”

“I… only ask you one question…” He asked: “Now that you know the truth, do you want to be this princess second only to one person but above millions, or would you prefer the freedom of vast skies where birds can fly, to live the life you want?”

I was stunned, unable to immediately understand the purpose of this question.

Father emperor said: “If… you want to continue being Princess Xiangyi, when I depart, I’ll have the empress accompany me, burying this secret forever in the yellow earth…”

I couldn’t help being shocked. He looked at me quietly: “If you’re unwilling to be confined to the imperial city, unwilling to continue staying by Jingyan’s side to assist him, then the court cannot be without an empress dowager…”

And the empress dowager would never tolerate me.

I met father emperor’s gaze: “How I will choose, father emperor should understand better than anyone, shouldn’t you?”

“Good, if that’s the case…”

Father emperor reached into his robes and placed a golden token in my palm. I looked closely and said in surprise: “The Bright Mirror Bureau’s token? Wasn’t the Bright Mirror Bureau handed over to the crown prince? Why…”

Father emperor said: “From now on, there will no longer be a Bright Mirror Bureau that heeds imperial commands in court, only a Bright Mirror Bureau that follows Xiao Qitang’s orders.”

My heart was suddenly shaken, leaving me speechless with shock.

He said slowly: “All personnel and cases in the Bright Mirror Bureau with court connections have been entirely transferred to the crown prince. What remains now, besides eight hundred shadow guards in the capital, are merchants and soldiers scattered throughout Daqing. As long as it doesn’t involve court principles and imperial authority, none of them can disobey your commands… If you ever find yourself in dire straits, this token can help you turn danger into safety. No matter where you go, it can protect your peace, ensuring you never need worry about material concerns for life.”

This was equivalent to giving me a golden protective shield—even if someday mother empress had people throw me into prison, those eight hundred shadow guards could easily stage a jailbreak for me to escape without a trace. Plus it came with an all-purpose silver note—whether I fled to the ends of the earth or corners of the sea, I could find people to provide gold, silver and treasures, never falling into difficulties over basic necessities.

After a long while, I said: “…These should go to Jingyan, I don’t…”

“This is the only… and last thing I can do for you…”

My heart ached as I stared at father emperor in bewilderment: “But Tang’er is not father emperor’s biological flesh and blood, Tang’er…”

“You are.” Father emperor’s eyes misted over as he said word by word: “In my heart, you have always… always been my daughter… always will be.”

Through tear-blurred vision flashed those years and moments—growing up slowly under his protection, walking hand in hand with him toward the heights where millions bowed in worship, and those countless springs, summers, autumns and winters filled with joy and laughter.

Those days and nights were so long, when father emperor was still so young and I was still so small, when everything in the future seemed full of anticipation and longing.

I slowly rose and stepped back, knelt down, placed my hands on the ground, and slowly performed the kowtow ritual.

Outside, moonlight slanted clearly. I prostrated myself on the ground until my tears had dried, remaining there for a very long time.

That was the last time father emperor and I had an intimate conversation. Not many days later, news came from the palace that father emperor had passed away, passing the throne to Crown Prince Jingyan. For a time, the palace was filled with mournful weeping, and heaven and earth fell into desolate silence.

After Jingyan’s succession, he immediately arranged father emperor’s funeral. After the officials presented their respectful memorial texts, the new emperor personally reviewed them at Xuanzhi Gate, had the Hanlin Academy compose the posthumous title documents, and conducted the funeral procession to the imperial mausoleum.

After the national mourning, I sat alone in the memorial pavilion at the imperial mauseoleum for a long time, holding the Bright Mirror Bureau’s token, my heart completely blank.

The war was not yet settled, and Jingyan had only just ascended the throne. Could I really just walk away from everything and ignore all affairs by leaving the imperial city? But what about Song Langsheng? He was still fighting bravely on the battlefield. I had promised to always wait for his return—if he came back and couldn’t find me, what would happen?

I walked out of the mausoleum grounds feeling dispirited. In the distance, I saw common people still quietly kneeling toward the imperial mauseoleum, sincerely paying respects to father emperor. My heart was filled with emotion. Just as I was about to turn and mount my horse, in a glance I seemed to see something. When I looked back, I saw among the crowd a person wearing a somewhat worn wide robe and blue shirt, with crossed sleeves, bowing deeply. A clear breeze swept past him, his wide sleeves swaying lightly, his entire being exuding an ethereal air.

I stood stunned for a long moment, then gathered my sleeves and walked forward step by step, getting closer and closer, until he finished that solemn great ritual. I stood before him as he raised his head and immediately saw me, slight surprise in his eyes, then showing joy: “It’s been so long since we met, I almost didn’t recognize you…”

I looked at that face that remained as handsome as before but had gained a few traces of weathering, hearing my own voice like a dream: “Yes, it’s been too long since we’ve met. Big brother, where have you been all these years?”

——Second Update——————————————————————————

Yuelu Tea House.

When I was small, the first person to bring me to this tea house was eldest imperial brother Jinglan. Now times had changed—the tea house remained, but people and circumstances were different.

Jinglan poured tea for me. Seeing me propping my chin and staring fixedly at him, he couldn’t help but smile: “Have you looked enough?”

I shook my head: “I haven’t been able to look for so many years, and this is just a moment now—how could it be enough? Hey big brother, how do you maintain yourself? You simply haven’t changed at all. How can this make us women bear it…”

Jinglan laughed helplessly: “You, you—you’ve grown into a big girl but still talk as nonsensically as when you were little. It seems your prince consort has spoiled you tremendously.”

“Him? Forget it…” I smiled slightly. “When did you come to the capital?”

“Yesterday.” He said: “When I heard of fath… His Majesty’s passing, I happened to be traveling through Chengde. I only wanted to come to the capital to pay respects then leave, but unexpectedly encountered you…”

Hearing him speak so carefully and evasively, my heart truly ached. I suddenly felt somewhat grateful he didn’t know his own background—then he wouldn’t have to struggle in the bitter sea as I did.

I turned the warm teacup to warm my hands: “By the way, why don’t I see elder sister-in-law accompanying you?”

His expression darkened.

“She’s no longer here.” Jinglan lowered his head: “Three years ago she contracted an acute illness and couldn’t survive it. It was I… who failed to protect her well.”

My heart trembled: “How… how could this be…” Not wanting to continue touching his painful spot, I only asked: “Then, after all this time has passed, why didn’t you come to the capital to find us?”

He smiled with resignation: “All these years I’ve wandered everywhere like a free cloud and wild crane. Coming back instead feels constraining… Besides, having promised not to return to the imperial city, I didn’t want to break my word. Knowing you were all doing well put my mind at ease.”

I muttered quietly: “You don’t miss us but we miss you…”

He flicked my forehead: “Don’t always talk about me—talk about you.”

“What is there to say about me… day after day, year after year…” living a miserable and calculated life, and still facing the long road ahead of being hunted by the current empress dowager—truly something that makes one sigh. “However, some time ago I encountered a formidable opponent who caused storms throughout the city and nearly had Emperor Brother Jingyan, ah, Emperor Brother, fall into his schemes. This person’s nickname was Pineapple…”

“Pineapple?”

I said: “He called himself Feng Li and was Nie Guang’s strategist. He was extremely familiar with my affairs… I even once… thought he was you…”

Jinglan was dumbstruck: “Me?”

“In the end I discovered he was actually eldest cousin Xiao Huaijin…”

“…”

Big brother and I chatted leisurely like this for most of the afternoon. When the sun set in the west, I remembered I had arranged to discuss important matters with Jingyan, so I asked where he was staying and instructed him not to leave quietly without a word—it was rare to reunite and I still had much to say to him.

Jinglan smiled and agreed.

What I needed to discuss with Jingyan was naturally the war. What I cared most about now was the situation of the Southern Expedition Army. This war had lasted nearly half a year. Initially both sides fought intensely and evenly matched, but in recent months the court’s forces had achieved several victories and the situation was beginning to reverse. On the fifteenth day of the sixth month, General-in-Chief Huo Chuan knocked on the pass, lured some enemy troops to attack the city, then gathered and annihilated them. But on the twentieth day of the sixth month, when both armies fought at Ze Prefecture, Nie family troops had assassins disguised as our army’s guards attempt to assassinate Huo Chuan. Though they didn’t hit vital spots, he was severely wounded. Without a leader, morale inevitably became somewhat low.

Jingyan put down the battle report, saying worriedly: “I didn’t expect Nie Guang to be so cunning, actually launching a sneak attack on our army’s commander. Now we can only withdraw and temporarily defend within Ze Prefecture city, with Song Langsheng temporarily handling all affairs.”

I stared at the map spread on the long table by candlelight. Jingyan asked me: “What is imperial sister thinking about?”

I said thoughtfully: “I was just thinking… if enemy troops want to continue raising troops to advance north, there are three possible routes: Ze Prefecture, Tongguan, or taking the longer route around Mount Liang. Having fought for so long, the enemy’s provisions should be insufficient to continue the stalemate. The possibility of going around the mountains is minimal, and Tongguan is easy to defend but hard to attack—they shouldn’t rashly send troops either. Now that our army has suffered setbacks and Huo Chuan is unconscious, this is exactly the right opportunity for them to seize Ze Prefecture. They will definitely make camp not far from Ze Prefecture, wait to gather their rear troops, then attack in one decisive stroke…”

Jingyan nodded: “We need to deploy troops to reinforce Ze Prefecture.”

“Troop deployment is necessary… I just feel…” I said: “Could this crisis actually be a good opportunity to defeat the enemy forces?”

“How so?”

When the enemy thinks our troops need to wait for court reinforcements, they should become somewhat complacent. If we take this opportunity to lead troops in direct confrontation with enemy forces, in terms of military strength we should be able to fight to a draw. At this time the enemy’s rear troops will definitely arrive faster than court reinforcements. From the terrain perspective, our main force is very likely to be forced by enemy troops to retreat into the Ten Mile River valley. When Nie family troops attempt to trap our main force in mortal danger, we needn’t wait for court reinforcements but can take the risky strategy of deploying the hundred thousand troops from Tongguan to attack from front and rear, completely annihilating the rebel army.

However… now that Huo Chuan was severely wounded, Song Langsheng held supreme command. If we wanted to convince Nie Guang’s large army, Song Langsheng would have to personally lead the troops in charge.

If this plan went slightly wrong, when trapped in the valley, he could very well die in battle. How could I gamble with my prince consort’s life?

Seeing me lost in thought, Jingyan asked: “Imperial sister?”

I smiled: “Thinking it over carefully, I feel it’s not very feasible. Our grasp of enemy intelligence from the capital is far inferior to theirs on the battlefield. Randomly offering suggestions could very likely put soldiers in dangerous situations. Let’s follow Your Majesty’s words—deploy reinforcements and advance gradually.”

Jingyan slowly nodded.

I felt that ever since learning my background, I could no longer be considered a qualified princess. All day I was either considering the best routes for distant escape or pondering auspicious times for taking flight. The reason I was still willing to discuss politics with Jingyan was with a “seeing each other less each time” mentality. Compared to the past, when national safety and security took precedence over personal matters at all times, how could there be so many considerations?

But I always habitually underestimated this emperor brother.

The next day I had just woken up when Jingyan summoned me to the palace. As soon as I stepped into the imperial study, I saw a familiar figure sitting in a side seat. Seeing me arrive, that person stood and bowed: “Princess.”

I was speechless for a long moment: “Big brother? How are you here?”

Jingyan smiled: “Imperial sister, you met with big brother but didn’t tell me? If not for the guards who followed you to the imperial mausoleum yesterday seeing you chatting happily with a strange man, I’d probably still be kept in the dark.”

I held my forehead—indeed, after becoming emperor, even surveillance could be so blatant.

Jinglan quickly said: “This matter is unrelated to the princess. This commoner didn’t wish to make a public affair of it. Please don’t blame her, Your Majesty.”

Jingyan patted his shoulder: “What commoner or not—you’re my big brother. When we were small, you led me and imperial sister running around everywhere. We’re all family—why so distant now that we’ve grown up?”

Jinglan smiled slightly: “Your Majesty speaks truly.”

I didn’t participate in their brotherly bonding, quietly finding a seat and picking up a piece of osmanthus cake to bite, asking: “Brother summoned sister so early—what happened now?”

“Right.” Jingyan turned back to the desk and pointed at the map: “Just now I briefly described the recent war situation to big brother and asked him to help me strategize. Big brother only glanced once and conceived a brilliant plan. If the main army can lure enemy troops into Ten Mile River valley, then attack from front and rear, we might be able to severely defeat enemy forces in the shortest time.”

I nearly choked on the osmanthus cake in my mouth.

Jinglan said: “This commoner’s crude opinion is merely armchair strategy. Specific tactics should be adapted to local conditions. If we can think of this plan, enemy generals might not fail to perceive it.”

Jingyan raised his eyebrows: “No, big brother’s strategy seems worth trying to me. Even if Nie Guang is deeply cunning, if they don’t come out in full force, they cannot contend with our great army. And if our main force retreats steadily, how could they let us go? Even if they become aware and don’t pursue the fleeing bandits but return to their territory, from our army’s perspective, there wouldn’t necessarily be any losses. Instead it could delay time until court reinforcements arrive for this battle, also allowing us to pursue victory.”

I was about to speak in opposition when Jingyan said: “Imperial sister is concerned about your prince consort—I understand. But until war settles, the common people suffer. I believe your prince consort shares this sentiment, which is why he wouldn’t disappoint father emperor’s great trust. Don’t worry—your prince consort is both wise and brave and will surely safely win this battle for me.”

While I was still in a daze, Eunuch Cheng at the door announced that the Minister of War was waiting outside. Jingyan indicated we should withdraw first and discuss other matters later. Since I was no longer regent, naturally I couldn’t argue stubbornly with emperor brother, so I could only leave with a flick of my sleeves.

Big brother was still big brother—even after wandering outside enjoying himself for so many years, with one turn of the head and one glance, he could still offer profound insights. I suddenly somewhat understood father emperor’s fearful mentality back then when he drove him away. If this highly strategic big brother someday learned how his biological mother died, ten Jingyans stacked together wouldn’t be his match.

Seeing me looking at him strangely, Jinglan smiled rather unnaturally: “Is there something on my face?”

I said: “No, I just feel like big brother’s back is glowing.”

He: “…”

My crow-like sixth sense was such that whenever I had a premonition of good things happening, definitely nothing good would happen. Conversely, whenever I had ominous premonitions, something ominous would definitely occur.

Worse than expected, communication with the Ze Prefecture area and the court was completely cut off. News had vanished like a kite with a broken string, without trace.

This meant either the army’s messengers were intercepted and killed halfway, or the Ze Prefecture area had fallen and the Cang River was cut off, with even courier stations blockaded.

When Jingyan told me this news, I could barely stand. He quickly stepped forward to help me sit down, saying: “What exactly happened in Ze Prefecture cannot yet be concluded rashly. Imperial sister, don’t be anxious—I’ve ordered the Ministry of War to send express letters to neighboring prefectures and will certainly get news to the capital in the shortest time.”

I tried to drink water to calm myself down, but my hands holding the cup wouldn’t stop shaking, and instead I burned myself. Jingyan was startled and was about to order palace maids forward to assist, when I raised my hand: “Your Majesty should attend to state affairs. I’ll return to the Princess Mansion to await Your Majesty’s news.”

Without waiting for Jingyan to say more, I had already bowed and withdrawn. He should know I harbored resentment toward him. If not for his rashly ordering the great army to meet the enemy, it would be impossible for Ze Prefecture to fall into danger in just a few days. I was afraid in my heart—Song Langsheng was the only person I had left in this world. If something really happened to him, where could I go?

In panicked confusion, I thought of the Bright Mirror Bureau. Father emperor had said the Bright Mirror Bureau’s merchants and clients were spread throughout the world with an extremely wide information network. Perhaps they could investigate news the court couldn’t discover.

Sure enough, after Tao Yuan received my orders, within a day he brought secret intelligence.

Song Langsheng had received imperial commands to lead the great army in a surprise attack on enemy forces. When enemy rear troops arrived one after another, our army retreated continuously to Ten Mile River valley. However, not a single soldier from Tongguan came to their aid—it turned out Nie family troops had been hiding their military strength since the war began. Besides four hundred thousand main forces, they had another hundred thousand elite troops held in reserve. Just when the hundred and fifty thousand Tongguan troops intended to come out in full force for rescue, those enemy soldiers had already taken positions outside Tongguan first. Though a hundred thousand troops were insufficient to attack the city, if Tongguan troops faced them head-on, they would certainly suffer great losses to their strength. The remaining forces would be fundamentally unable to rescue the main army and might instead become a breakthrough point for enemy forces, facing the fate of being lost.

In other words, Song Langsheng and his troops were currently trapped by Nie family forces in the valley. To break out, they needed to wait for reinforcements to arrive for joint attacks, but Tongguan troops simply couldn’t deploy. Fighting many with few, they fundamentally couldn’t contend with Nie family forces.

I gripped the secret report in confusion for a long moment, then in anger, entered the palace again to find Jingyan.

It was past evening. I completely ignored Eunuch Cheng’s obstruction and forced my way into the imperial study. Upon entering, I discovered Jinglan was also present, brows tightly furrowed as if discussing some important matter with Jingyan. Seeing me arrive, Jingyan was obviously somewhat unnatural, instinctively covering the paper on the table as if afraid I might see something, though he smiled: “So late—why has imperial sister come?”

I said: “Why sister has come, brother knows better than anyone, doesn’t he?”

Jingyan was startled: “What does imperial sister mean by this?”

I laughed coldly and swept away the paper on the imperial desk, pointing at the bright yellow battle report: “Ze Prefecture hasn’t fallen at all! The courier stations haven’t been blockaded either! It’s not that the court hasn’t received battle reports! Your Majesty simply doesn’t want me to know the war situation!”

Jingyan’s whole body shook: “How do you know…”

I asked: “Your Majesty needn’t ask how I learned this. Your Majesty only needs to tell me—now that General Song and the great army have fallen into the valley, what good strategies does Your Majesty have to save the great army?!”

He stiffened: “Court reinforcements are already on their way…”

“At fastest it still needs eight days!” I interrupted: “May I ask Your Majesty, how can the great army endure eight days? Nie Guang doesn’t even need to send troops—they only need to block the exit from the valley and our army will die without fighting from cut-off supplies and water shortage! Even if they endure those eight days and wait for court reinforcements, where will we find the strength to join reinforcements in attacking Nie family forces?”

Jingyan’s face went white: “Then in imperial sister’s view, what should I do?”

I said sternly: “Tongguan city has a hundred fifty thousand troops, and the nearest Shuoyang prefectures can gather fifty thousand forces. First have a hundred thirty thousand troops break out in full force to rescue the valley’s great army. Tongguan is easy to defend but hard to attack—twenty thousand troops defending the city can hold for two days. When Shuoyang forces reach Tongguan, this way the city can be protected and the great army has hope of rescue.”

Jingyan shook his head: “If Nie Guang learns Tongguan only has twenty thousand defending troops, he’ll certainly send additional forces to attack the city. Once the city falls, enemy forces will certainly lead great armies straight north, affecting even more…”

I felt blood rush from my feet to the top of my head: “What Your Majesty worries about is endangering Your Majesty yourself!”

Jingyan slammed the table and rose, furiously saying: “How dare you!”

I said heatedly: “I’ve always been this presumptuous—does Your Majesty only realize this now?”

Defying superiors to this extent—my rationality had long flown to the ninth heaven. Seeing Jingyan so angry his face turned green, Jinglan knelt to mediate: “Your Majesty, please calm your anger. The princess is anxious for her husband’s safety, so she spoke without choosing words…”

“Who spoke without choosing words? Every word I spoke was from my heart!” I turned my gaze to Jinglan: “Big brother, you needn’t say more! If not for the idea you gave His Majesty, would my prince consort be in such danger today?!”

I had never used such a tone with big brother. Big brother was also stunned upon hearing this. Jingyan pointed at me with trembling fingers: “Imperial sister… do you know what you’ve said!”

I tilted my head slightly and looked steadily at Jingyan: “I only know that if my prince consort dies in battle, I won’t live alone either. Since Your Majesty is unwilling to risk sending troops, I have no solution either—I can only personally go to the battlefield to collect his body and die with him!”

“You dare!”

I naturally dared.

So after saying this I gave them no chance to speak and left resolutely. Jingyan understood my character—he knew I meant what I said and would do what I claimed, immediately fearing I’d do something foolish. He quickly chased out the door and grabbed me: “I’m even more eager than imperial sister to rescue the great army, but I can’t use the lives of all people as a wager…”

I shook him off and walked several steps. He didn’t dare provoke me, only following closely behind. I turned and said: “I naturally understand Your Majesty’s intentions.”

Jingyan froze. Clearly the moment before I had been ready to break relations with him, the next moment I suddenly spoke this way—he was completely confused by my speed of changing faces: “Understand?”

I said softly in his ear: “I quarreled with Your Majesty for my prince consort’s sake and vowed to live and die together with him—this rumor will quickly spread… naturally no one will suspect my true purpose for going to the battlefield…”

He looked at me in surprise. I whispered: “If Song Langsheng can’t survive this crisis, our army loses two great generals and nearly three hundred thousand troops—this would be a major blow to the court. Even if reinforcements reach Ze Prefecture, they might not stop enemy forces. If we can’t reverse the decline, they’ll certainly attack northward all the way… Your Majesty rest assured, my identity is special. Even if Nie Guang wants to harm me, Nie Ran would never bear to. If I can be captured by them, that’s best—I’ll risk my life to remove this tumor of the former dynasty from Your Majesty’s heart…”

Jingyan seemed to understand what I intended to say next: “Imperial sister…”

I said: “It was because of my selfish desire to release Nie Ran that such consequences were brewed. Today though I don’t have much confidence, I can’t do nothing and let this treasonous rebel trample our Daqing territory…”

Jingyan’s eyes were filled with pain as he tightly grasped my sleeve, trembling lightly: “Daqing’s realm can be jointly defended, but I only have one sister…”

I straightened his sleeves for him, saying gently: “Sister promised father emperor to return brother a peaceful and prosperous world. When has sister ever broken her promises? Brother should also keep his promises to father emperor—not be troubled by small matters but always remember you are the ruler of all people.”

He lowered his head for a long time, gradually releasing his hold on me: “Sister’s words, brother will remember deeply.”

I smiled with satisfaction: “I have one more piece of advice. Toward big brother, Your Majesty can respect but not completely trust, can adopt suggestions but not heavily employ. He can be our big brother but absolutely cannot be Your Majesty’s elder brother. Has Your Majesty taken sister’s words to heart?”

Jingyan furrowed his brows. Though confused, he understood what I was implying. He nodded: “I understand.”

In the many years that followed, when I recalled that night, I would always ask myself why I wasn’t willing to speak more plainly with Jingyan then, to tell him about big brother’s background and why he must be guarded against. Later, thinking it over carefully, it was probably because big brother and I shared the same misfortune and similar experiences—I truly couldn’t bear for big brother to suffer familial rejection again. Heaven had been so unfair to him, yet if there remained even a thought of benevolence, a thread of family affection, how could I bear to destroy him?

But I forgot that being born into the imperial family, one thought of benevolence is often followed by brothers turning against each other and troubles within the household.