The torrential rain poured down, and Cui Xuanliang was secretly displeased: “Still raining, how annoying.”
It was evening, yet the rain continued falling, making the island lack both bright sunset clouds and colorful evening glow – only gloomy and humid. Cui Xuanliang hadn’t brought an umbrella. He wanted to return to his room to get one, but feared waking his uncle. If caught, it would be extremely difficult to go out wandering again.
Choosing the lesser of two evils, Cui Xuanliang looked into the distance and saw a wine shop across the street, not very far from the inn. He decided not to bother with an umbrella and shouted once before rushing through the rain. After getting thoroughly soaked, he looked into the wine shop and was shocked to see three or four shirtless drinkers sitting inside, all shouting and cursing about fathers and mothers – clearly no good people. His heart grew uneasy, knowing this place wasn’t safe to linger, so he cried out again and rushed across another street intersection to hide under a fabric shop.
The heavy rain poured down, and the small lion followed him charging through, ending up completely wet. Man and beast stood at the fabric shop entrance, unable to move. Cui Xuanliang peered into the fabric shop – this time he saw no bad people, only a group of old ladies, all wearing gold and silver, chatting about this and that. After watching for a while, Cui Xuanliang frowned deeply, thinking: “Strange, where have all the young ladies gone? I haven’t seen even half of one?”
He looked around at the street scene, seeing only cart-pulling laborers and young peddlers, while beautiful women were nowhere to be found. He shook his head, thinking: “Looking at this situation, I should go find Xiao Ming and Xiao Xiu first. They must have arrived on the island by now, but I don’t know where they’re staying.” Thinking of the two maids following Xu Erzheng, to see them he’d inevitably encounter Old Xu, which wouldn’t be too bad, but meeting Bai Bixia would surely bring more trouble. And if he ran into that young swordsman Bai Yuntian, he’d rather crash his head and die quickly for relief. His mind was troubled, then he thought: “Forget it, I’ll go find my mother-in-law instead. After greeting her and winning her affection, I can meet Wei Siyan.”
Mrs. Wei was beautiful – if Miss Wei had even a fraction of her mother’s looks, she’d be a great beauty. As this thought arose and before he could move, he realized he had no idea where “Dream Manor” was located. If he went there, he’d inevitably get lost. Thinking that Wei Kuan’s birthday banquet was on the fifteenth of the seventh month and today was only the second, he could see Wei Siyan in ten days or half a month anyway, so why rush? Cui Xuanliang felt somewhat annoyed, thinking: “Strange, how do those martial arts masters spend their days normally? Why don’t any of them have worries? Only I get lost.” He yawned and reached into his pocket, first feeling the gold bars and smiling slightly, then suddenly his expression changed as he slowly took out a key with “Zhang Sanfeng” carved on it.
Cui Xuanliang’s eyes widened as he thought: “I’m done for! How am I still carrying this cursed thing? Won’t someone come to rob me?” He frantically looked around, fearing Eastern warriors or mountain assassins would appear and he’d die on the spot. Cui Xuanliang snorted, holding the key, when he suddenly saw urgent footsteps across the street with water splashing everywhere – a figure charging straight toward him. Cui Xuanliang trembled all over in fear. Suddenly seeing a water vat beside the fabric shop used for firefighting, without thinking carefully, he quickly threw the key in with a splash.
An innocent man suffers for his wealth. With a “plop,” the key sank into the water vat. Cui Xuanliang sighed in relief. Seeing the figure across the street approaching without slowing, his heart jumped and he was about to turn and flee for his life when he heard light footsteps. The figure from across the street ran closer and closer, then came a delicate gasp: “What heavy rain!”
What heavy rain? What heavy rain! Cui Xuanliang’s mouth gaped open as he listened to these four characters in a daze, unable to move anymore. How could this voice be so pleasant? This wasn’t just a maiden’s shy voice, but the rolling tongue accent of a Beijing maiden – like orioles singing and swallows calling, with nine melodious turns, indescribably clear and lovely. Cui Xuanliang took a deep breath, no longer thinking of escape, only struggling to turn around and desperately look at the scene before him.
Amid rapid breathing, a young lady stopped right beside Cui Xuanliang. His heart pounded as he breathed deeply, quietly moved two steps sideways, then glanced over to carefully observe the girl beside him. She appeared about the same age as himself, roughly sixteen or seventeen – no matter what, this girl couldn’t possibly be a married woman. Cui Xuanliang wanted to strike up a conversation, but they were complete strangers who’d never met – how should he begin? His mind raced with thoughts, displaying all the cleverness he never used in martial arts practice. However, his thoughts were chaotic and indecisive, fearing that if he failed with one attempt, everything would be over. There was only one chance – if missed, it would be gone forever. While he stood dazed, the small lion suddenly shook all over, water droplets flying everywhere toward the young lady. With a soft “Ah!” she cried – she wore silk and satin skirts that would be ruined if soiled. Cui Xuanliang quickly rushed over to shield her from the flying water, then stamped his foot and scolded the beast: “Stop misbehaving!”
The young lady had been about to dodge the water droplets when she suddenly saw a tall man approach and stand in front of her, apparently wanting to protect her. Her face reddened as she quickly said: “Thank… thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Having played the hero saving the beauty, Cui Xuanliang stood beside the young lady and asked with concern: “Miss, did you get wet?” The young lady looked up at Cui Xuanliang’s handsome face, her cheeks slightly red, then quickly turned her face away without responding. Knowing he’d made a good start, Cui Xuanliang tried to find ways to ask her name. He coughed slightly: “What heavy rain.” The girl remained silent to all questions, appearing quite shy and bashful. As Cui Xuanliang lowered his head pondering, the small lion had already walked to the young lady’s side, sniffing around her legs. “Ah…” The young lady looked down and covered her mouth in surprise: “What is this? Is it a cat?” Cui Xuanliang immediately laughed heartily and revealed the answer: “Let me tell you, this is a big lion.”
“A lion!” The young lady covered her mouth and exclaimed softly: “This… this is the lion from Buddhist scriptures?”
They say ignorance breeds wonder. The young lady had never seen a lion before and was naturally curious upon first sight. She squatted beside the small lion, seeming to want to pet its head but not quite daring. Cui Xuanliang quickly squatted down and said to the young lady: “Miss, my little lion has a gentle temperament and definitely won’t bite. Come pat it.”
The young lady said softly: “Is this one you raised?” Cui Xuanliang smiled: “Yes, it and I are like brothers.” The young lady timidly extended her hand and gently patted the small lion’s head, then quickly withdrew it. Cui Xuanliang quickly squatted down, grabbed the small lion’s front paws to make it stand like a child, saying: “Come, touch it again – it really won’t hurt.” The young lady became bolder and stroked along the small lion’s head and neck, feeling the hard, short fur that wasn’t very smooth. The small lion was quite sensible – after being petted twice, it leaned against the young lady’s leg and began purring like a lion.
The young lady was quite delighted, laughing: “It’s like a cat, purring.” She began grooming the small lion’s short fur and playing with it. Maidens in their bloom are naturally shy, and this tender innocence was something even Mrs. Wei and Mrs. Rong couldn’t match. Cui Xuanliang’s palms were sweating as he stared in fascination, when he suddenly noticed the young lady’s eyes shifting sideways – she was also secretly observing him.
Rain fell like a waterfall from the eaves. The young man and woman were shy, with only a small lion between them as they observed each other. Just as tension peaked, their eyes suddenly met directly. The young lady was greatly embarrassed and quickly stood up to hide on the steps. Cui Xuanliang hid behind watching when he suddenly swallowed saliva with a “gulp” that startled the young lady. She quickly turned around, their eyes meeting again, then she moved her feet to avoid him, going to the other end of the corridor. Cui Xuanliang cried out, knowing he’d reverted to form. He sighed, knowing everything was lost, but couldn’t bear to turn and leave. After all, they’d met by chance – once they parted ways, when would they meet again? He gathered courage and slowly approached again, saying quietly: “Miss… miss… excuse me, are you… are you a local?”
The young lady neither responded nor answered, only lowering her head and pretending not to know. Cui Xuanliang said softly: “Miss… I… I’m from Bengbu, Anhui. Have you heard of this place?” Rain poured down as the two stood at the fabric shop entrance. The young lady kept her back turned, completely unwilling to respond. An ordinary person would think this romance hopeless, but Cui Xuanliang had a natural persistence far beyond ordinary people. He squatted down and said to the small lion: “I’m a good person, right?” The small lion opened its mighty eyes with downturned mouth corners, looking quite confused. Cui Xuanliang then grabbed the lion’s paws and, imitating lion roars with several strange calls, began speaking lion language: “You’re a good person… seventeen years old, not yet married.”
Every time Cui Xuanliang used this trick, it always made young ladies burst into laughter and drop their guard. But after talking nonsense for a long time, there was no movement behind him. Undeterred, he began performing with the small lion: “Do… do you know what my name is?” He then lifted the lion’s paw and, in a strange tone, asked and answered himself: “Your name is Cui Xuanliang – Cui meaning ‘dignified bearing’ and Liang meaning ‘noble character’…” Suddenly the young lady exclaimed: “Cui Xuanliang?” Cui Xuanliang said “Eh?” and quickly turned to look, seeing the young lady’s wise eyes wide open, staring at him. The young lady said: “Was your father once a court official named ‘Cui Guangcheng’?”
Cui Fengxun’s courtesy name was “Guangcheng” – indeed the name he’d used in the military. Hearing the young lady reveal his background, Cui Xuanliang was overjoyed: “Yes! Yes! My father was a famous general of the Yongle era, one of the Eight Tigers of Yanshan – Cui Fengxun, Cui Guangcheng! Miss! How… how do you know this?”
After the small lion’s success, it was now father’s turn to shine. Just as he waited for the young lady to reveal her identity, she glanced at Cui Xuanliang and suddenly blushed slightly, spitting: “I won’t tell you – you’re improper, not a good person.” Hearing he wasn’t a good person, Cui Xuanliang’s heart actually rejoiced as he quickly said: “Miss, don’t… don’t misunderstand… I’m… I’m usually very proper, but suddenly meeting you, I became… became…”
The young lady gave him a look and said coquettishly: “What? So you’re saying I corrupted you?” Cui Xuanliang’s face grew redder and his heart happier, wanting to say something amusing but unable to think of anything. He could only say quietly: “Miss, what… what is your honorable name? Could you please tell me?” The young lady smiled: “Alright, I was just teasing you. Big Brother Cui, we met when we were little – do you remember?” Learning they were childhood sweethearts, Cui Xuanliang was both surprised and delighted: “Wait, I know – you… you’re Wei… Wei Si…”
When it comes to names, if you can guess one character correctly, there should be various surprised reactions. But after saying “Wei” and “Si,” the young lady still looked blank, so this girl wasn’t Wei Siyan. Cui Xuanliang knew women had bad tempers – if you called them by the wrong name, it often created lifelong grudges. He had to honestly say: “Miss, did we… did we know each other before?” “Of course.” The young lady put her hands behind her back, spun around in a circle, then tilted her head and winked with a smile: “My father mentions your name all the time.”
Cui Xuanliang cried “Ah!”: “Your… your father knows me?” The young lady said with a smile: “Yes, every time he passes through Anhui, he always says he wants to visit you, but keeps putting it off for years and never makes the trip…” She walked around Cui Xuanliang and smiled: “If he met you now, he definitely wouldn’t recognize you.”
Seeing the young lady’s eyes held some curiosity as she looked at him, apparently having truly heard of his deeds, Cui Xuanliang blushed: “Good sister, who exactly is your father? Can you tell me?”
Hearing him call her “sister” so intimately, the young lady’s expression suddenly turned cold: “Who’s your sister? Show some respect when you speak.” An ordinary man facing such coldness would either storm off angrily or retort sarcastically, but Cui Xuanliang was naturally good-hearted. Though scolded, he only lowered his head and quickly said: “I’m sorry, I… I just saw you’re a few years younger than me, and hearing that your father knows me, I thought I was your elder brother by generation, so I called you sister… I definitely didn’t mean to take advantage… ” Seeing his sincere repentance and near-kneeling apology, the young lady’s anger dissipated somewhat. She smiled brightly again: “Alright, seeing your sincerity, I forgive you. But you still have to guess who my father is. No cheating allowed.”
Cui Xuanliang laughed dryly: “I… I can’t guess…” The young lady snorted: “You give up so quickly? My father praised your intelligence, but apparently he was lying. Quick, guess – no backing out.”
Cui Xuanliang had thought the young lady was a refined beauty, but in just a few words she’d become pushy like a rogue. However, this wasn’t that kind of rogue – seeing her fragrant body, bright eyes, delicate nose and mouth, beautiful as a flower, even if she robbed and poisoned him, it would be a blessing from three lifetimes. He quickly lowered his head and hands shyly: “Miss, if… if I guess correctly, do I get a reward?” The young lady said: “Wanting rewards before achieving merit? Here, I’ll reward you with this first.” She stuck out her tongue and made a funny face.
Seeing this charming appearance, Cui Xuanliang’s soul flew and spirit scattered, truly like meeting his destined nemesis. He clutched his chest, trembling all over, knowing nothing anymore. Seeing his expression, the young lady couldn’t help blushing slightly and quickly turned around, saying clearly: “Cui Xuanliang! Are you going to guess or not?” His three-character name spoken so brightly and pleasantly made Cui Xuanliang even more panicked and anxious: “Guess… of course I’ll guess… I guess your father is… is…” Completely blank, he could only make something up: “The current emperor.”
The young lady was stunned, then laughed until her whole body shook: “How annoying – no wild guessing allowed.” Cui Xuanliang’s handsome face showed embarrassed red as he lowered his head: “I wasn’t guessing wildly – you… you’re so beautiful, if you’re not a princess, then who are you?”
Women dress for those who appreciate them. Hearing him praise her appearance to her face, the young lady was naturally pleased, though she said: “Don’t tell me such things – I consider you a big brother.” Hearing this, Cui Xuanliang’s heart pounded violently, nearly flying from his mouth. Dancing with joy, he was about to add more witty remarks when he suddenly heard shouting from the street: “Meng! Meng! I finally found you!”
Heavy rain poured down with misty fog everywhere. On the busy street, oil umbrellas wandered back and forth – green, red, flowered, purple – quite poetic. From among the umbrella flowers charged out a fierce man, about forty years old, with thick eyebrows, huge mouth, nostrils facing up, and face covered with blue stubble, looking somewhat like the small lion. “Great! Still making me guess!” Cui Xuanliang was overjoyed, thinking: “Isn’t this her father arriving?”
Seeing his father-in-law holding an oil umbrella and rushing through the rain, Cui Xuanliang quickly assumed a respectful posture and stood to one side. He saw the man come to the young lady’s side and scold: “Meng, where did you run off to? You made me search for ages.” Though he held an umbrella, he’d run so urgently that his upper body was half-wet. As he raised his sleeve to wipe, Cui Xuanliang had already offered a handkerchief: “Uncle, please use this.”
While being respectful, the beauty giggled charmingly while the middle-aged man gaped in amazement: “What… what did you call me?” Cui Xuanliang looked confused: “I called you Uncle? Your daughter said you know me – surely Uncle hasn’t become forgetful?” “Daughter?” The middle-aged man looked left and right blankly: “What daughter? Who’s surnamed Ling? Is there such a person?” The young lady laughed until tears came out, nearly falling to the ground, while Cui Xuanliang was stunned. He pointed at the young lady, confused: “Uncle, your daughter is right here – don’t… don’t you recognize your own daughter?”
The word “daughter” made the middle-aged man cry out. In an instant, his face turned blue-purple as if about to burst into flames. He roared: “Boy! Who… who said she’s my daughter?” His voice was hoarse and slightly stuttering from excitement. Cui Xuanliang mumbled: “Not your daughter? Then… then is she your niece? Or your granddaughter?” The middle-aged man roared: “Niece my ass! Let me tell you! She’s my fiancée!” This was truly shocking. Cui Xuanliang pointed with trembling voice: “What… you… as an elder, you even… even your own child… this… is there no justice?” The middle-aged man was so angry his vision darkened, nearly fainting, gasping: “Justice? Damn boy… how… how old do you think I am?” Cui Xuanliang said timidly: “Forty-five.”
The middle-aged man jumped in fury, crying tragically: “Damn boy! I’m… I’m only nineteen!”
“What?” Cui Xuanliang leaped skyward, even the small lion who’d been dozing opened its eyes, apparently also surprised. Cui Xuanliang examined the man’s appearance repeatedly, saying in a trembling voice: “This… this is impossible… what elixir did you eat… to become so old?” The middle-aged man raged: “Who’s old? Let me tell you! I’m surnamed Meng, named Tan, from Yanshan, Hebei! My late father was ‘Iron Staff Meng Zhongzhi’! I also have a nickname – ‘Young Tiger Lord Mengchang’! Have you heard of it?”
Cui Xuanliang said blankly: “No… no…” The young lady lowered her head, struggling not to laugh, while Meng Tan’s anger flared. Seeing this Cui Xuanliang of unknown origin pestering his unmarried wife from the start, then repeatedly mocking him and embarrassing him before his sweetheart, he snorted and turned to the young lady, shouting: “Who is this brat? Why is he pestering you?”
The young lady snorted and turned away: “If you want to know, don’t you have a mouth to ask?” Meng Tan gritted his teeth. Seeing Cui Xuanliang’s red lips and white teeth, jealousy suddenly arose as he roared: “Damn boy, get lost! If I see your thieving face again, I’ll beat you every time I see you! I mean what I say!”
Seeing the young lady already had someone, Cui Xuanliang was actually heartbroken. Now being treated like Ximen Qing made him feel even more desolate. He said quietly with tears: “Alright… I’ll go… I’ll go… don’t be so fierce…” Meng Tan’s anger blazed as he threw his umbrella to the ground, raised his fist, and shouted: “Still not leaving!” Hearing the strange roaring, the young lady quickly turned back to see a hunched figure in the heavy rain – man and lion soaked through, slowly walking away in the rain. The young lady cried out and quickly said: “Young Master Cui, where are you going?” Cui Xuanliang said dejectedly: “I… I’ll walk around randomly, won’t disturb you couple anymore.” Heavy rain fell as Cui Xuanliang looked like a drowned rat. He slowly turned to the street corner, about to sob quietly when he heard quick footsteps – the young lady had actually chased after him: “Young Master Cui, let’s have a meal together. When my father sees you, who knows how delighted he’ll be!”
Cui Xuanliang faced the wall, lowering his head with tears: “Miss, don’t trouble yourself. I can’t even guess who you are – why bother you? Better to take leave here.” The young lady looked sympathetic and was about to speak gently when a rough voice came from beside her: “Meng! Didn’t you hear he wanted to leave? Let this boy scram!”
Cui Xuanliang turned to see Meng Tan behind him again. Unable to bear the heartbreak, he turned and fled with the small lion again. Seeing how pitiful he looked, the young lady had to grab him in the street: “Young Master Cui, wait!” Cui Xuanliang wiped his tearful eyes and slowed down, hearing the young lady reveal her name: “I… I’m called Meng. My father is Shangguan Yi, one of the ‘Eight Tigers of Yanshan.’ He and your father have a life-and-death friendship, twenty years of brotherhood, so when I heard your name, I recognized you immediately.” Hearing “Shangguan Yi,” Cui Xuanliang cried out, thinking of the short old man he’d seen at “Sanshan Guild Hall,” and immediately exclaimed: “So… so you’re Uncle Shangguan’s daughter? I… I saw your father at ‘Sanshan Guild Hall.'” Shangguan Meng said happily: “You… you were also at ‘Sanshan Guild Hall’ this afternoon? But when I went to find my father, why didn’t I see you?”
Cui Xuanliang blushed, unable to admit he’d just been swindled out of one hundred thousand taels. Just as he wondered how to lie, he suddenly felt pain in his back from a hard kick. He heard Meng Tan roar: “Damn boy! Get lost to the ends of the earth!” Shangguan Meng really couldn’t contain herself anymore and immediately turned around, shouting: “Why are you so fierce to him? How did he offend you?” Meng Tan seemed extremely afraid of his sweetheart and quickly softened his tone: “This boy is no good…” The young lady said coldly: “Who says he’s no good? Go back and ask father, see who he is!” Meng Tan said blankly: “How… does father also know this brat?” The young lady shouted: “Listen well! He’s not some brat – this young master is surnamed Cui. His father was one of the Eight Tigers of Yanshan, called ‘Dragon Commander and Tiger General’ with Uncle Wei – Uncle Cui.”
“What? He’s Uncle Guangcheng’s son?” Meng Tan’s thick eyebrows shot up, surprise showing in his eyes. The young lady turned around and smiled: “Young Master Cui, let me introduce you – this is my fiancé…” Before she finished speaking, Cui Xuanliang suddenly sneezed loudly with a “Achoo!” and his nose ran. The sky was now overcast with heavy rain still falling endlessly. Meng Tan held an umbrella only covering his fiancée and himself, while poor Cui Xuanliang and the small lion seemed to have fallen into a pond – man and beast both soaked through. Shangguan Meng feared Cui Xuanliang would catch cold and quickly glared at her husband: “Why don’t you give him shelter from the rain?”
Meng Tan frowned: “I only have one umbrella – how can three people share it?” Shangguan Meng angrily said: “If three people can’t share it, then let you walk alone!” She supported Cui Xuanliang’s arm, apparently wanting to leave with him. Seeing his wife getting close to the pretty boy, Meng Tan was suddenly filled with jealousy and had to grab Cui Xuanliang’s arm, angrily saying: “Damn boy, afraid of getting wet? Come over here!” Cui Xuanliang was somewhat afraid of this man and didn’t want to go over. Shangguan Meng glared at her husband again: “Why are you shouting so loudly? Aren’t you afraid of scaring him?” She pulled Cui Xuanliang’s arm and said gently: “Young Master Cui, come stand by my side – don’t catch cold.”
When her jade hand touched him, even if Cui Xuanliang’s foundation was ten times more solid, he would still waver and become dizzy. Sure enough, he stumbled confusedly under the oil umbrella and bumped right into Shangguan Meng’s body.
Shangguan Meng’s face flushed completely red, and Cui Xuanliang’s heart pounded rapidly. Seeing his fiancée openly getting close to this pretty boy and acting infinitely shy in front of him, how could Meng Tan endure it? His silver teeth ground to powder as he raised his foot and kicked hard at Cui Xuanliang’s buttocks. With a cry of “Ow!” this smooth-faced fellow stumbled and rolled out from under the umbrella. Meng Tan chuckled “hehe” and was about to add two more kicks when he suddenly cried out in pain, looking up – the small lion had bitten his calf hard. Both angry and resentful, he raised his foot and raged: “What beast is this? I’ll stomp you flat!”
Just as he was about to kick the small weak creature to death, Shangguan Meng suddenly turned around, gritting her teeth and holding back tears: “Meng Tan! You’re the most annoying! Take your stinking umbrella and go away! I never want to talk to you again!” She then grabbed Cui Xuanliang’s hand and shouted: “Young Master Cui! Let’s go! Don’t mind him!”
Seeing his beloved fiancée abandon him, Meng Tan was shocked: “Meng! Meng! What are you doing? Don’t go!” He immediately took three steps as two, chasing urgently. Two men and one woman ran along the street with Meng Tan pursuing relentlessly, holding the oil umbrella behind his wife, fearing she’d get wet. But Shangguan Meng showed no appreciation, only chasing after Cui Xuanliang. All three were from distinguished families with quite fast movement skills. In just a short while, they had turned past the busy street and arrived at a small alley. The alley was quiet and full of restaurants – drunken chicken, pressed duck, sauced pork knuckle, mutton hotpot, pickled fish, braised beef, all kinds of Central Plains snacks were available. It was evening, and smelling the appetizing aromas, everyone was hungry. Meng Tan held the large umbrella, covering all three people, and asked gently: “Meng, what would you like to eat?” Shangguan Meng glared at him fiercely like a reincarnated night demon, then turned around with loving care: “Young Master Cui, what would you like to eat?” Seeing himself favored, Cui Xuanliang immediately laughed heartily: “I… I want something spicy.” Shangguan Meng smiled: “Aren’t you from Anhui? Since when do you eat spicy food?” Cui Xuanliang said quietly: “But… but I want to eat it…”
Seeing this spineless turtle behavior, Meng Tan couldn’t help but sneer coldly. Suddenly seeing Shangguan Meng turn back with angry eyes: “What did you just say?” Meng Tan was startled: “Nothing… nothing! I didn’t say anything!” Shangguan Meng put away her fierce expression and smiled at Cui Xuanliang again: “Alright, since Young Master Cui likes spicy food, let’s go eat Sichuan cuisine. I’ll make you cry from the spice.” Cui Xuanliang giggled: “If you make me cry from spice, wouldn’t that be terrible…” The words were still in his mouth when a big male lion crept up behind him – looking at that bearded fierce glare, wasn’t it the descendant of the Eight Tigers of Yanshan, famous general under Yongle, “Little Lord Mengchang” Meng Tan? Cui Xuanliang smiled bitterly twice, scratched his head: “The weather is really awful, look how heavy this rain is.”
The three walked into the alley, seeing restaurants everywhere along the way. Having experienced the Khitan, Jurchen, and Mongol dynasties, the cuisine had become increasingly diverse – northern Liao-Jin hotpot, southern crossing-the-bridge rice noodles. But as they walked along, they saw pancakes, sweet porridge, steamed buns – everything except Sichuan spice. Shangguan Meng frowned: “Can’t find a Sichuan restaurant, what should we do?”
Meng Tan said: “No matter, if we can’t eat Sichuan food, let’s find a Hunan restaurant.” Cui Xuanliang said blankly: “What? Hunan people also eat spicy food?” Meng Tan said mockingly: “Ignorant. Though Sichuan food is spicy, it’s not as spicy as Hunan cuisine. Our Hunan food is spicy with sourness, while Sichuan is numbing with spice. Don’t you even know this?” Cui Xuanliang said in surprise: “Your Hunan? Aren’t you from Hebei?” Meng Tan said proudly: “Let me tell you, my mother is from Hunan. I grew up gnawing on chili peppers since childhood!” Cui Xuanliang mumbled: “Really impressive. What about Miss Shangguan? Does she eat spicy food too?” Meng Tan laughed heartily: “She follows her husband’s lead. If I want her to eat spicy, would she dare say no?” He embraced his sweetheart’s slender waist and laughed wildly, finally venting his frustration. Cui Xuanliang was from Anhui and actually didn’t eat much spicy food. Seeing Cui Xuanliang mumbling hesitantly, he felt even more proud and continued: “Though Sichuan food is spicy, it only makes your mouth numb, not truly spicy. For the world’s spiciest, it must be Hunan cuisine.”
Just as he was about to speak, someone said lightly: “Wrong. Who says Hunan cuisine is the world’s spiciest? That’s extremely ignorant and laughable.” Hearing another learned person appear, everyone quickly turned around to see a figure standing in the dark part of the alley, wearing a straw raincoat and bamboo hat, about eight feet tall – apparently this person had spoken. Meng Tan felt humiliated by the rebuke and, eager to save face before his sweetheart, immediately raged: “Who’s ignorant? According to you, what’s the world’s spiciest cuisine?”
The person said lightly: “Yunnan people eat spicy food with fresh flavors, so it’s called fresh-spicy. Guizhou people emphasize chili fragrance when eating spicy, so it’s called fragrant-spicy. As for southern Shaanxi people, they balance salty and spicy, just like Hunan’s sour-spicy harmony. They’re all spicy, but not truly spicy.” Everyone heard this person was very learned and couldn’t help being shocked: “Who are you?”
“I am Smoke Island’s number one spice king.” A raincoat-clad man appeared in the heavy rain, saying calmly: “Meeting me is your good fortune.” It was evening with lanterns just lit, and the alley’s lanterns glowed dimly. Before them was a stall covered with coconuts, with a young man behind it whose eyes were squeezed to slits and whose face looked strange – it was “Little Fang” again!
Cui Xuanliang said joyfully: “Brother Fang! We meet again!” Little Fang turned around and, seeing Cui Xuanliang, was slightly stunned, then beamed with joy: “God of wealth, long time no see!”
Cui Xuanliang smiled: “Not long, not long – we just met this afternoon.” Little Fang smiled: “You have such composure. I saw you lose one hundred thousand taels of silver this afternoon, yet by evening you’re calm and collected like nothing happened?” Hearing that Cui Xuanliang had lost one hundred thousand taels of silver, Shangguan Meng immediately gasped softly, wanting to learn the details. Meng Tan was also shocked, then chuckled coldly, finally saying contemptuously: “Bragging. As if you could come up with one hundred thousand taels.” Cui Xuanliang rarely had good mood and, fearing his embarrassing affairs would be exposed, didn’t mind Meng Tan’s few mocking words. He looked around: “Brother Fang, there are so many restaurants here – which has the best food?” “Hehe… you’ve come to the right place.” Little Fang smiled coldly and pointed behind him: “Look, the World’s Number One Spice Hall!”
Everyone looked up to see a shabby restaurant behind them with a sign beside it reading: “No pain no spice, no spice no pain spice, no pain no spice, pain cry spice no pain.” Cui Xuanliang exclaimed: “This… is this your shop?” Little Fang shook his head: “No, I sell coconuts at the entrance.” He picked up a coconut: “Bosses, have a cup of coconut water to cool down – one tael of silver per cup.” Shangguan Meng said in amazement: “One tael of silver per cup?” Little Fang said: “Yes, no negotiation.”
Everyone was speechless with laughter. Smoke Island was full of coconut trees with coconuts everywhere, usually kicked around by children like balls, worthless. How could they charge such an outrageous price? This was really like Jiang Taigong fishing – whoever was willing would take the bait. After laughing a while, Shangguan Meng pointed at the sign: “Little brother, what does ‘no pain no spice, no spice no pain’ mean?” Little Fang explained: “Spice is essentially pain. The owner of this World’s Number One Spice Hall is surnamed Li. He has studied spicy recipes worldwide, combining Sichuan’s numbing quality, Hunan’s sourness, Yunnan-Guizhou’s freshness, plus India’s pungency, Southeast Asia’s fragrance, and Korea’s sharpness, harmonizing all the world’s spicy cuisines to establish this Smoke Island Number One Spice Hall. If you guests want to eat spicy food, you must come in and try.”
Everyone was very curious and peered into the shop, seeing it was quite empty with few people, only an old man sitting in the depths of the shop – presumably the owner. He was hunched with a bent back, his face covered with knife-like wrinkles, looking hundreds of years old, currently munching on chili peppers with relish, probably researching some secret recipe again.
Seeing the shop so cold and deserted, perhaps it had killed customers with spice, resulting in such emptiness. Shangguan Meng didn’t like spicy food and said tremblingly: “Forget it, let’s find another place…” Meng Tan was also somewhat afraid and was about to turn and leave when two people suddenly walked into the alley. One laughed: “Old Zhang, with such heavy rain, you still come specially to eat spicy food?” The other sighed: “No choice, haven’t eaten it for three days and nothing works anymore. My wife urged me to come.”
Everyone watched dumbly as the two men chatted while entering the shop. Then they heard Little Fang say calmly: “‘Medical King’ Sun Simiao said that women who eat spicy food have skin like congealed sheep fat. Men who eat spicy food have the power of wind, thunder, dragons, and tigers in bed. You should all leave quickly and not eat these harmful things.”
Legend had it that chili peppers prevented white hair and extended life when consumed regularly, but they didn’t know it also had such aphrodisiac effects. Meng Tan and Cui Xuanliang heard this and secretly envied it, while Shangguan Meng was half-believing. She touched her own face, thinking of the benefits of skin like congealed fat, and mumbled: “Alright, let’s go in and try the taste. If it’s too spicy, we’ll turn around and leave…”
“Yes, yes…” Meng Tan agreed repeatedly, and Cui Xuanliang also nodded continuously. Three people and one beast entered together. Just as they found an empty table and sat down, planning to investigate, two waiters approached – they were the two customers who had just entered, saying in unison: “Guests, what would you like to eat?”
Meng Tan was startled, realizing these people were working together as accomplices and had tricked him in. Being slightly older and more experienced, he quickly grabbed his fiancée’s hand: “Let’s go, let’s go. This place isn’t right…” Shangguan Meng smiled: “Don’t be afraid. Since we’re here, let’s make the best of it and sit down.” Meng Tan was about to sit when he suddenly saw Cui Xuanliang’s thieving eyes staring straight at his wife again. He immediately shouted: “Meng, let’s go quickly! This is obviously a black shop. Aren’t you afraid of being cheated?”
While speaking, the two waiters were already crying injustice: “Guest, don’t slander us! Our dishes cost only ten wen each. Even a whole banquet costs only two taels of silver with change. Why must you speak so harshly?” Meng Tan ignored them, only pulling his fiancée’s hand: “Let’s go, let’s go. Don’t waste words with them.” Shangguan Meng’s wrist hurt from his pulling and she shouted: “If you want to go, go yourself! Don’t drag me to death!”
Hearing her speak so harshly without giving him any face, Meng Tan couldn’t help being furious. Just as he was about to argue with her, Shangguan Meng ignored him and turned to Cui Xuanliang, saying gently: “Young Master Cui, let me tell you first – tonight Brother Meng and I are treating, so don’t fight to pay the bill later.”
Cui Xuanliang grunted, about to give thanks, when he heard Meng Tan snort: “Look, ‘Brother Meng, Brother Meng’ – when it comes to paying, then you remember me.” Shangguan Meng angrily said: “What exactly do you want? We rarely have a guest, why do you keep opposing me? Meng, if you don’t want to accompany this meal, please leave early. This girl doesn’t want to keep you.”
“What did you say?” Meng Tan’s anger flared as he stood up abruptly: “Where did you learn such defiance? Aren’t you afraid I’ll break off our engagement?” Shangguan Meng also got angry and raged: “If you want to divorce me, please do it quickly. Don’t let yourself marry a cheap woman and disgrace your Meng family ancestors.”
Meng Tan nearly fainted with anger and was about to storm out, but glancing over, he saw Cui Xuanliang’s sneaky head looking at his wife and laughing directly – three parts gloating, seven parts ill-intentioned. He gritted his teeth and, unwilling to let his fiancée be deceived by scoundrels, helplessly sat down, immediately pounding the table and roaring: “Waiter! Waiter! Where did you all die!” An angry man was wild and could take his anger out on anyone. The two waiters were startled and didn’t dare come over. Now a squint-eyed youth came over – it was “Little Fang.” He frowned and asked: “Haven’t eaten spicy food yet and already so angry?” Meng Tan angrily said: “Aren’t you the coconut seller? How are you also a waiter now?”
Little Fang said lightly: “I’ve always been neighborly. When people are too busy, they ask me to help.” He then asked: “What do you guests want to eat? Tell me and I’ll pass it on.” Meng Tan had been repeatedly undermined by his fiancée until tears nearly burst from his eyes. He pounded the table forcefully and shouted: “Bring food quickly! The spicier the better! Best if it kills me!” Shangguan Meng said calmly: “Little brother, don’t listen to him. He can’t eat spicy food. Have the kitchen prepare something mild.”
Meng Tan was furious beyond measure: “Who can’t eat spicy food? You or me? Little brother, tell the kitchen – the spicier the better! I’ll eat the whole plate! If I spit out one chili seed, I’ll bash my head and die right here!” He pointed at Meng and angrily said: “How about it! Do you dare compete with me? Do you dare!” Shangguan Meng was proud and couldn’t eat spicy food but didn’t want to admit it directly, so she blamed her fiancé. Who knew she’d be severely scolded instead? Unable to save face, her expression turned bitter with anger, and she finally lay on the table sobbing. Meng Tan raged: “Cry! All you know is crying! Every time you can’t out-argue me, you just cry!” Shangguan Meng was in tears and about to get up and leave when Cui Xuanliang stopped her, saying frantically: “Don’t be like this, don’t be like this. We’re all having a rare meal together. Please don’t sulk like this.” He quickly said to Little Fang: “Brother Fang, I… I can’t usually eat spicy food. Please… please have the kitchen make it mild. Don’t make it so I can’t eat it.”
Shangguan Meng wiped her tears and sat back down. Cui Xuanliang suddenly felt burning angry eyes from across the table – it was Meng Tan staring at him. He quickly apologized: “Brother Meng, sorry, sorry. It’s all little brother’s fault. Please… please make up with Miss Shangguan…” Meng Tan pointed and roared wildly: “Make up with your mom’s fart! I get angry just looking at you!” With a “bang,” Shangguan Meng slammed her fist hard on the table and roared: “Meng Tan! Say one more word and try it! I’ll go tell father later!”
“Who’s afraid of who!” Meng Tan stood up angrily. Seeing these diners ready to use knives before using chopsticks, Little Fang laughed dryly and said slowly: “Stop arguing. Some guests like spicy food, some fear it. Why don’t I ask the chef to make some dishes that are spicy but not spicy, so everyone can be happy. How about it?” Cui Xuanliang wanted to mediate and quickly smiled to agree: “Spicy but not spicy? What does that mean?”
Little Fang said: “Spicy but not spicy means it doesn’t taste spicy when you eat it, but it’s actually quite spicy. You’ll know once you try.”
Everyone exclaimed in wonder, not understanding what this meant. Little Fang said no more and went into the kitchen, saying a few words to the chef. They heard fierce fire exploding and a spicy smoke drifted out. Shangguan Meng’s face turned pale and immediately covered her nose and mouth. The small lion turned and fled, running all the way to the shop entrance – apparently it was the most afraid of spice among them all. With spicy smoke drifting over, Shangguan Meng covered her nose and mouth and couldn’t argue anymore. Cui Xuanliang saw everything was quiet and immediately smiled: “Good, everyone’s happy now.” Just as he was smiling, he suddenly sneezed, then coughed violently with tears streaming.
Meng Tan sneered: “Boy, with such little spice tolerance, you dare boast?” He deliberately inhaled deeply and laughed heartily with grunting sounds, intentionally trying to outdo Cui Xuanliang. In less than half a moment, the kitchen curtain lifted and Little Fang brought out several dishes, along with a pot of rice, a bottle of wine, and some big white steamed buns: “Guests, all the food is here. Please enjoy.” Everyone looked down and were shocked to see the table lined with dishes – chicken, duck, fish, meat – all covered with red chili peppers.
Shangguan Meng said tremblingly: “Can… can this stuff be eaten?” Little Fang served rice and poured wine for everyone, smiling: “Miss, don’t be afraid. You’ll know once you try.” Shangguan Meng trembled as she picked up her chopsticks, carefully picking up a scallion and rubbing it on the white rice, immediately leaving a red streak. She cautiously bit lightly on the scallion, then closed her eyes tightly and trembled all over, not daring to move.
Cui Xuanliang looked concerned: “Miss, are… are you alright?” Meng Tan, wanting to make up with his fiancée, also said: “Meng, are you okay?” Two men flanked her left and right, about to approach and check if the beauty was dead or alive, when they saw the beauty open her wise eyes and say joyfully: “These chili peppers only have fragrance and aren’t spicy at all.” Meng Tan said in surprise: “Really?” Shangguan Meng smiled: “Yes, these chili peppers are really delicious. I’ve never eaten them before.” She picked up a chopstick full of beef strips mixed with chili peppers and chewed them, beaming with joy. Seeing her eat so happily, Cui Xuanliang was also amazed and quickly said: “I… I’ll try too.” He picked up a piece of duck with his chopsticks, put it in his mouth and chewed, saying joyfully: “Really not spicy!”
These chili peppers had a fresh and beautiful taste. When eaten, you only smelled their fragrance without getting their spice, making people sweat but not causing mouth pain. Cui Xuanliang ate with great enthusiasm, continuously shoveling rice, not forgetting to call the small lion in to feed it some pork belly. These chili peppers were truly miraculous – even after the lion ate them, it seemed to praise them endlessly, crouching by the table begging for food. Meng Tan also tried several big bites and immediately cursed: “What kind of thing is this? These chili peppers are for women to eat. What’s so great about calling it the world’s number one spice?” Despite saying this, he still chewed with big bites – one bite of vegetables, one bite of rice, not forgetting to add a cup of wine, really eating until he was covered in hot sweat.
Meeting good food and drink, the three people’s anger subsided. They chatted about everything under the sun. Shangguan Meng saw her fiancé had stopped being violent and was very happy, serving wine to both men. Watching her eat with fragrant sweat, her bright eyes and white teeth made her even more charming and moving when talking and laughing. The two men saw this and inevitably felt more jealous. This one woman and two men actually had quite a connection – all were descendants of loyal heroes from the Yongle era. The girl was “Earth Tiger” Shangguan Yi’s daughter, petite and delicate. As a child, she lived in the capital with her father. Since “Iron Staff” Meng Zhongzhi lived in Hebei, the two families had frequent contact. Meng Tan got the advantage of proximity, and now the two were engaged, just waiting to return from Smoke Island to marry soon.
After three rounds of wine and the dishes served and arguments fought, Little Fang had nothing to do and brought in a basket of coconuts from the entrance, drilling holes and extracting juice, quite busy. Cui Xuanliang smiled: “Brother Fang, is this coconut water free?” Little Fang shook his head: “Didn’t I say earlier? One tael of silver per cup.”
Everyone laughed: “You’re asking for the moon – who would buy it?” Just as they were laughing, there was a “bang” sound, and the small lion really opened its mouth wide. They saw it running around in the shop, knocking over several stools, then rushed out of the shop and found a large puddle to frantically drink rainwater.
Meng Tan praised: “Like master, like pet. This beast has really good upbringing, just like its owner.” Shangguan Meng glared at him: “Can’t your mouth stop? How are you starting again…” She was about to scold him more when she suddenly fanned her mouth and her words were cut off.
The three looked at each other speechlessly. After a long, long time, Shangguan Meng took out her handkerchief, wiped her sweat, and laughed dryly: “So spicy.” Cui Xuanliang also laughed twice and wiped his sweat: “Yes, really quite spicy.”
Meng Tan chuckled coldly: “Scared now? Women.” He deliberately showed off and picked up his chopsticks, wanting to chew a few more bites, when his lips suddenly hurt. He also licked his tongue: “Hehe, it is somewhat spicy.” Only then did the three understand what “spicy but not spicy” meant – the spicy flavor was easy to eat at first, initially sweet and fragrant, but the aftertaste was extremely fiery.
Cui Xuanliang usually could eat spicy food quite well, but now his face was purple from the spice, covered in urgent sweat, and even his tongue was swollen. Now only Meng Tan could still speak. He immediately patted the table and shouted: “Waiter! Waiter! Bring three cups of tea!” Little Fang hummed a little tune and brought a large teapot, pouring three cups of boiling water: “Jiangnan Biluochun tea, compliments of the house.” Seeing the cups steaming, he didn’t forget to remind the guests: “Everyone drink while it’s hot – don’t be polite.”
Shangguan Meng’s tongue felt like it was on fire and she just wanted to pour cold water down, but if she poured boiling tea into her mouth, wouldn’t it be like adding fuel to fire? She wiped her hot sweat and gasped: “Little brother… is there cold water? Get some.” Little Fang said: “You want cold water? There’s some ready-made over there.” He lazily pointed outside the shop entrance where heavy rain fell like a waterfall with a large puddle full of water on the ground. Shangguan Meng’s face was burning red – whether from spice or anger was unclear. She had to turn to Meng Tan and plead: “Husband… I want to drink coconut water…” Meng Tan cursed silently. Seeing these coconuts cost one tael each was like extortion, but his fiancée’s mouth was spicy and she wanted to drink, so he immediately roared: “Little brother! Bring a cup of coconut water!”
Business had arrived, so Little Fang quickly rushed over, poured a cup with great care: “Miss, please drink quickly.” Shangguan Meng couldn’t care about ladylike manners and quickly lifted it with her delicate jade hands, drinking it all in one gulp, praising: “So refreshing…” Meng Tan was actually dying from spice too, but the coconut water was outrageously expensive and he couldn’t bear to drink it, so he could only mock coldly: “One tael of silver per cup – of course it’s cool.”
Cui Xuanliang was full of envy and also wanted to drink. He took out his gold bar and said quietly: “Little brother, can you make change for this?” Little Fang shook his head: “This money is too big, I can’t handle it.” Cui Xuanliang said frantically: “But I… I didn’t bring silver out…” Little Fang kept making eye signals, glancing at Meng Tan several times. Cui Xuanliang immediately understood and quickly begged Meng Tan: “Brother Meng, please… please buy me a cup too.” Meng Tan rolled his eyes coldly: “Why should I buy for you?” Just as Cui Xuanliang was worried, Shangguan Meng was also hateful and said again: “Little brother, my mouth is still numb – bring another cup.” Little Fang was attentive and had prepared early, immediately serving another cup. Shangguan Meng quickly drank it all again, not forgetting to sigh with relief: “So comfortable.” Seeing the two men gaping and staring at her, she passed over the cup with a smile: “There’s still half a mouthful left – who wants it?” “I do!” “I do!” The two men fought over it, but it finally fell into Meng Tan’s hands. He took the cup and immediately soaked his tongue in it, crying out and grimacing in pain: “So refreshing.”
Cui Xuanliang looked envious, but having no money, he could only plead with Little Fang: “Brother Fang, I really want to drink too. Can… can you give me one on credit?” Little Fang squinted his strange eyes: “Small business – no credit allowed.” Cui Xuanliang complained: “You’re so stingy. It’s not like I just met you. What a shame you’re surnamed Fang – Little Fang, Little Fang, not generous at all.” He pushed his luck and was making a fuss when another teacup appeared on the table. Looking down, it was a cup of ice-cold coconut water. Little Fang was still quite generous and finally gave it for free. Cui Xuanliang said joyfully: “Little brother! You’re so good! Thank you!” He urgently grabbed the teacup and was about to gulp it down when suddenly the cup was snatched away and drunk dry with gulping sounds.