“Secret crush.”
Jiang Shiyan replayed Chen Siran’s voice message three times before slamming the door shut with a “bang.”
Jiang Shiyan called back, sneering, “I just asked you to keep an eye on a friend. I didn’t interrupt your hanky-panky. What grudge do you have to speculate like this? When you used to ask Dad for help, he wasn’t this talkative.”
“When I asked for your help, it didn’t involve relationships,” Chen Siran said. “I only said four words. Who’s the one getting all worked up…”
Meanwhile, Jiang Shiyan calmed down and said, “She’s just a very good friend, so don’t joke around. If you do, I’ll feel very…”
Jiang Shiyan couldn’t find the right adjective.
Chen Siran didn’t want to waste words with him either: “Then let me ask you, if she stood in front of you and asked you to kiss her, would you?”
Jiang Shiyan replied without hesitation: “Yes.”
Chen Siran thought to himself, “Well, there you have it,” and continued: “How would you kiss her?”
Jiang Shiyan spoke in a tone of following orders: “Wherever she wants me to kiss, I’ll kiss there. However long she wants me to kiss, I’ll kiss that long. However she wants me to kiss, I’ll kiss that way.”
Chen Siran: “…”
How the hell could this guy make kissing sound like a matter of life and death?!
Chen Siran thought for a moment and became more direct: “Then if she came to your place now, you’re alone, she’s only wearing two pieces of clothing, takes off one, standing half-exposed in front of you, takes your hand, and placing it on the opening of her remaining piece of clothing, would you—”
“Hurry up and get dressed,” Jiang Shiyan blurted out, then frowned, “Chen Siran, are you sick? Look at the weather forecast. It’s Freaking cold enough to count the degrees on one hand, and you’re telling someone to wear only two pieces and take one off? If she freezes and ends up in the hospital, do you want to take care of her?”
Chen Siran was at a loss for words.
Jiang Shiyan also realized his tone was too harsh and softened it: “Stop asking all these questions. There isn’t that kind of feeling. If there was, wouldn’t it have happened back in high school?”
“Who knows.” Chen Siran scoffed.
Jiang Shiyan cursed back: “Are you poisoned or something?” He hung up the phone.
Even setting aside their familiarity, Jiang Shiyan thought, that while Tang Yang was important, she was contrary to his ideal type.
He had a bit of a macho streak in his bones. Even when he was just a young lad, he liked the gentle, virtuous, feminine type.
Now that he was more capable of protecting a future wife, would he fall for a Yang-age who lived on takeout and visits to her mom’s house, and who shielded him from vicious dogs?
Were jokes these days all made with feet?
After complaining about Chen Siran, Jiang Shiyan hadn’t put down his phone when he received a message from Tang Yang.
[ty: There’s an event here today where lucky customers get sent home by the handsome young boss. This fairy was the first to draw and won. Now, please analyze the reason, great Jiang. 1: Beautiful, 2: Good deeds bring good rewards.]
Jiang Shiyan instinctively typed “Don’t you have a mirror? How can you be so bored,” but then, as if to prove Chen Siran wrong, he deleted it word by word and replied with a single, utterly cold character.
[t$efvbhu&: 1]
It instantly hit Tang Yang’s sweet spot.
Tang Yang replied gleefully.
[ty: I forgive you for not letting me drink less this afternoon. Don’t reply, I’m going to sleep. Good night.]
The great Jiang, considering himself restrained and composed, replied with another single character.
[t$efvbhu&: Mm.]
The brief chat was quite enjoyable.
Their friendship, which had been broken for nearly three hours, quietly thawed in the night.
As frost melted at dawn, Monday arrived, inevitable and unwelcome as always.
Jiang Shiyan went on a business trip to Houston, while Tang Yang was busy with meetings at the head office and various branches.
Separated by half the globe’s time difference, Jiang Shiyan shared a song in the middle of his night, and Tang Yang liked it during her day.
In the evening, Tang Yang complained, “Topping the WeChat step count every day gives one the illusion of ruling the world.” Jiang Shiyan commented in the early morning: “Some people cheat secretly, but Deputy Tang does it openly and scarily.”
Tang Yang instantly understood but wanted to ignore it. However, her inner stubbornness drove her to retort: “The step counter doesn’t know my legs are two meters long!”
Jiang Shiyan: “I thought understanding that for the same distance, shorter legs mean more steps was an application problem required in elementary school.”
Jiang Shiyan was far more formidable than sleepiness, and Tang Yang effortlessly performed a one-second fall into sleep.
Across the ocean, Jiang Shiyan seemed to see Tang Yang’s agile little actions and chuckled with a “heh.”
The surrounding executives fell silent and looked at him, and Jiang Shiyan quickly suppressed his smile.
After a busy work week of teasing cats and dogs, Tang Yang finally had time to return to her parent’s home on Friday.
Tang Yang’s mother had a mahjong appointment with Jiang’s mother in the afternoon.
At the dinner table, Tang Yang’s mother kept talking about a hand that could have been a Pure Straight but wasn’t completed: “People should be a bit braver, a bit braver. How does Meng Fei’s song go… One step forward is a big win, one step back is a small win.”
Tang Yang was deeply exasperated that her mother, who used to watch “Approaching Science,” now loved “If You Are the One.”
After dinner, bored with her game, Tang Yang naturally gave Delay Dog (Jiang Shiyan) a call.
However, before she could speak, the other end hummed through his nose: “If I don’t call you, you won’t call me?”
This preemptive strike.
Strangely, Tang Yang felt the logic wasn’t wrong.
“You’re talking as if you were thinking about me,” Tang Yang clicked her tongue and explained, “I was so tired this week I had to gulp down lunch. Now that I’ve stopped, aren’t I calling you right away? Are you back?”
“Still waiting at the airport,” Jiang Shiyan walked to a counter, “Should I bring you a funnel to make it easier?”
Tang Yang couldn’t be bothered to respond to him and adjusted her position on the couch: “I bought some moisturizing products for my dad before, and I sent a set to your place too. I spent a winter in Houston with a project team before, it was dry as hell. Your skin is even less tolerant of dryness than mine.”
The other end seemed to bump into someone.
After apologizing for a while, Jiang Shiyan’s voice finally came through the phone: “Alright, then shall I accompany you to Nanjin Street this weekend? Did you sort it out?”
“No,” Tang Yang said lazily, “The document is there, neither approved nor rejected. If she doesn’t come after the New Year, I’ll go again.”
Tang Yang said: “You know, I just want to be clear about things that come to me. But I’m also busy, and I’m not some kind of good Samaritan… Oh,” Tang Yang thought of something, “You don’t know, the day before yesterday a loan customer made a scene at the Credit Review Department, asking why Punan lent them a million while we only lent a hundred thousand. When we looked at the documents, she had mortgaged a storefront to Punan and only a second-hand car to us. I said to call security, but Fan Linlang directly confronted her, saying ‘You think this is the Thunder Sound Temple, full of living Bodhisattvas?’ And then, you know what? A woman nearly fifty years old, throwing a tantrum on the ground…”
“I don’t know,” Jiang Shiyan teased, “but if you throw a tantrum on the ground, I’ll agree to anything you want.”
Tang Yang: “Is that so touching?”
Jiang Shiyan said seriously: “Children are the hope of the nation.”
Tang Yang laughed, knowing he couldn’t see her but still playfully punched the air, chuckling: “Hope your sister.”
The two chatted aimlessly for quite a while.
Jiang Shiyan asked, seemingly casually: “Are you still going on blind dates?”
Tang Yang quickly glanced towards the kitchen, suddenly shrinking her neck back, and complained very loudly: “There’s really pressure everywhere, my hair is falling out in handfuls. I know marriage is important, but if I don’t even have my life, how can I place marriage… After the New Year, it must be.”
This person was too dramatic. Jiang Shiyan’s lips twitched as he provided a voice-over for her: “Because normally, blind dates only lead to meeting weirdos from A City, but during the New Year, you’ll meet weirdos from A City as well as those who are from A City but came back for the holidays.”
Tang Yang, her thoughts exposed, made a slicing motion across her neck and threatened in a low voice: “Cut.”
Jiang Shiyan teased her, shouting into the phone: “Auntie Zhou! Auntie Zhou, are you there?!”
Tang Yang fled like a thief at lightning speed.
Meanwhile, across the ocean.
The curve of Jiang Shiyan’s lips lasted from the airport to the plane, throughout the entire 17-hour flight, even after a nap, and was still there when he arrived in A City.
Jiang Shiyan also returned to his parents’ home.
Yi Fangping opened the door to see her son, was stunned, looked him over for a while, and then made an earth-shattering observation: “Did you get a smile lift in America?”
“Staying optimistic is the secret to longevity,” Jiang Shiyan put his luggage aside and handed a bag to his mom, “A gift.”
Jiang’s mom accepted it: “Did you bring something for Tang Yang?”
“I did.” Jiang Shiyan changed his shoes, sniffing the aroma wafting through the air.
Jiang’s mom had a sudden inspiration: “Buddha Jumps Over the Wall.”
Jiang Shiyan deliberately pulled a long face: “Your son just got back from a business trip, you’re not going to send it to Tang Yang, are you?”
“Of course not,” Jiang’s mom led Jiang Shiyan to the dining table, lifted the half-covered lid, and ladled meat and soup for him, “Try it first.”
They had long had a housekeeper, and it seemed that since his sister Jiang Yanan’s college entrance exam, Jiang’s mom hadn’t cooked much.
As Jiang Shiyan held the bowl, the heat from the fresh soup transmitted through the bowl to his palms, the temperature merging with the warmth he felt when Tang Yang mentioned sending the moisturizing set, instantly warming his four limbs and five viscera…
“Try it quickly.” Jiang’s mom urged him lovingly.
Jiang Shiyan’s heart was warm, but before he could drink, he heard his mom say: “Last time when I cooked for the first time, the mushrooms weren’t done, and your dad had diarrhea for three days. This time I timed it well, it should be fine,” Jiang’s mom said hopefully, “After I practice a few more times and the taste is good, no, when I’ve mastered it, I’ll make it and send it to Huishang as a surprise for Sugar Sugar. Girls are particular about details, unlike you and your dad with your rough meat and skin…”
Jiang Shiyan suddenly felt a mix of emotions.
Facing his mom’s expectant gaze, he raised the bowl to his lips, carefully touching it to his lips without daring to lick it.
“Oh right,” Jiang’s mom didn’t notice, “Since Sugar Sugar has been transferred back to A City, why don’t you move back? I won’t push you to go on blind dates anymore.”
Jiang Shiyan put down the bowl, pretending to pull a tissue, and said: “Is there a necessary connection between Tang Yang coming back and you not pushing me to go on blind dates?”
“Why wouldn’t there be?” Jiang’s mom asked back, “Tang Yang is single at an advanced age, you’re single at an advanced age. Wait,” Jiang’s mom changed her approach, “What do you think of Tang Yang?”
“She’s really good.” Jiang Shiyan answered honestly.
Jiang’s mom gently guided them: “So?”
Jiang’s mom understood him and Tang Yang, so Jiang Shiyan didn’t think in other directions: “So all my friends are great, one takes on the color of one’s company, so I’m also really awesome?”
Jiang’s mom patiently said: “Yes, we all know each other well.”
Jiang Shiyan guessed: “Make more beneficial friends—”
Jiang’s mom interrupted: “Do you know whether to put winter bamboo shoots or ginger slices first when laying out ingredients for Buddha Jumps Over the Wall? Shark fin or scallops first?”
Jiang Shiyan looked confused: “How would I know that?”
Jiang’s mom smiled: “It doesn’t matter, I’m just finding an excuse to scold you. You don’t know anything I ask.”
Jiang Shiyan: “?”
Jiang’s mom hit his head: “Stupidly panicked!”
Jiang Shiyan instinctively dodged, but Jiang’s mom, exasperated, hit him twice more, “Stupidly fatally!”
Jiang’s mom wanted to say something but didn’t, and after scolding them, still not satisfied, stomped on his foot twice before angrily throwing the soup spoon and going upstairs.
Why did she step so hard…
Jiang Shiyan sucked in a cold breath from the pain, hissing.
Thinking about how Tang Yang also liked to pat his head like this and step on his foot like this, although Tang Yang’s force was as light as tickling, her ability to annoy him was the same as his mom’s!
Jiang Shiyan thought he must have committed many sins in his past life.
He didn’t know exactly how many, but he wasn’t a good person…
Jiang’s mom kept a guinea pig named Vegetable. During the mother-son fire earlier, it had been sitting on the dining table, staring with its big black eyes, motionless.
After Jiang’s mom left, Jiang Shiyan was left staring at it.
Jiang Shiyan sighed and pushed the bowl of soup in front of it: “Sigh, eat it, eat it.”
Vegetable looked at Jiang Shiyan, then at the soup, used its round little fat paws to push the soup back, then gave him a look that seemed almost pitying…
Jiang Shiyan’s composure completely crumbled.
At ten o’clock in the evening, just as Tang Yang had lain down in bed, she received a call from Delay Dog.
His voice was slightly hoarse and a bit dejected as he called: “Tang Yang.”
Tang Yang had just finished watching a soap opera with her mom where the male lead’s company went bankrupt, and he called the female lead with a voice like this before jumping off a building.
Hearing her name called like this, “I’m here, I’m here,” Tang Yang jumped out of bed, hurriedly putting on clothes while saying, “Jiang Shiyan, hold on! Hold on, okay! Tell me where you are, and I’ll come to find you right away! Don’t do anything rash!”
Jiang Shiyan’s voice was floating: “I’m not in a good mood…”
“I know you’re not in a good mood,” Tang Yang felt a chill down her back, “But no matter what happened, give yourself a break, Jiang Shiyan,” Tang Yang emphasized, “I know there are many things in the business world, but don’t think about ending it all. Money can be earned again, but if a person is gone, they’re gone…”
Tang Yang was in a panic and couldn’t find her keys.
Through the receiver, Jiang Shiyan’s voice came: “I had a little conflict with Vegetable.”
“…”
Jiang Shiyan: “It stepped on the gift I worked so hard to bring back for you.”
“…”
“So as compensation,” Jiang Shiyan’s voice got a bit smaller, sounding pitiful, “can you treat me to a doughnut?”