What should I do? I think I scared her.

To be honest, Sheng Sui didn’t like Zhou Shiyu’s attitude of avoiding discussion when faced with problems;

The helpless part was that she seemed even more unable to resist the man’s overwhelming offensive.

Their lips and teeth intertwined, inseparable. During this time, when Sheng Sui’s mind went blank from lack of oxygen, Zhou Shiyu had retreated an inch, his dark eyes behind his glasses falling on her mottled lips, raising his hand to wipe the corner of his own mouth with his fingertip.

His pale thin lips were tinged with bright red, adding a seductive charm in the darkness that was different from his usual abstinence.

After a while, Zhou Shiyu lowered his eyes and curved his lips, saying in a low voice: “…So this is what lipstick tastes like.”

When Zhou Shiyu leaned down to kiss again, Sheng Sui had already lost her composure and forgotten the original discussion. After being guided, her hands obediently wrapped around the man’s neck, getting used to and beginning to enjoy the pleasure brought by kissing.

Undeniably, Zhou Shiyu had extremely strong service awareness in intimate relationships. From initially being considerate of her inexperience everywhere, to now when they were gradually finding their rhythm, the man was always accommodating Sheng Sui’s feelings with perfect control.

Taking the private elevator home, before the lights could turn on after pushing the door open, Zhou Shiyu had already lifted the slender woman in his arms with one hand onto the long low cabinet at the entrance. His broad shoulders and straight long legs trapped Sheng Sui within his control, his hands moving downward, no longer satisfied with just a taste.

Sheng Sui’s figure could be considered slender and tall, but compared to Zhou Shiyu, she was still delicately small;

Above the low cabinet was a small ceiling light, casting light on the man’s defined features and contours. The reflected shadow darkly covered and enveloped Sheng Sui. The gentle yet more dominant masculine hormone scent made her, with nowhere to escape, instinctively submit.

Sometimes Sheng Sui felt like she was a puzzle book waiting to be solved, being turned over and searched through by Zhou Shiyu for clues. The man’s slender fingers flipped through, patiently exploring, his fingertips carefully caressing the inner pages, finally leaving trails of wet heat.

Her vision blurred by the tears that welled up, Sheng Sui looked up through the mist into the man’s dark, deep eyes, whose gaze was gentle and clear.

Compared to her uncontrollable emotional stirring, Zhou Shiyu’s eyes showed more lucid tenderness and cherishing;

The man stared deeply at her without blinking, as if unwilling to miss any of her smallest expressions.

Sheng Sui pursed her lips.

Why was only she enjoying this private pleasure alone, while Zhou Shiyu showed no trace of excitement?

She hazily remembered that Zhou Shiyu always seemed to be gently self-controlled. Even that time when she encountered him with a high fever at the hospital, the man showed no sign of dishevelment despite his illness.

Zhou Shiyu sometimes gave her the feeling of a fully drawn bow—perfect from every angle whether viewed up close or from afar, but if external force pushed just one more inch, the taut string would snap.

For some reason, Sheng Sui suddenly wanted to pull the man into this game, wanted to see his emotional state, suddenly developing a competitive spirit.

No matter how inexperienced she was, she was still an adult and certainly knew how to make Zhou Shiyu share in this loss of control.

The moment her fingertips touched the belt, Sheng Sui felt the man’s burning breath suddenly stop, the lean muscles around his waist tensing, his body’s functions seeming to be instantly cut off like a power outage.

Sheng Sui thought Zhou Shiyu was uncomfortable, her tender white hand slowly sliding on the belt, clumsily searching for the position of the buckle.

The next second, her wrist was suddenly gripped tightly.

For the first time, Zhou Shiyu used force when holding her palm, making Sheng Sui even feel a hint of pain.

“…Be good, don’t touch, it’s dirty.”

The man’s hoarse voice murmured by her ear, his thin lips no longer covering hers: “Your clothes are dirty, I’ll carry you to bathe.”

Without waiting for her response, Zhou Shiyu bent down to embrace Sheng Sui’s slender waist, carrying her horizontally and walking steadily toward the bathroom.

No matter how slow Sheng Sui was, she realized she had been too aggressive. Recalling her behavior just now, looking down at the messy wet traces that had slipped down, her face flushed red.

When Zhou Shiyu had prepared the hot water and brought her clean sleepwear, Sheng Sui, sitting by the bathtub, couldn’t help but tug at the man’s sleeve.

Her neck was burning with a light red as she defended herself unconvincingly: “…I’m usually very reserved.”

In the end, Zhou Shiyu only lovingly and gently ruffled her hair, unusually not kissing her: “Bathe first, the water will get cold.”

“……”

Water sounds came from the bathroom. Zhou Shiyu walked to the entrance with a normal expression, bent down to pick up the scattered clothes on the floor, methodically checking that there were no items in the pockets, and walked to the laundry room.

Cold sweat soaked the thin shirt on his back, his heart beating rapidly and violently as if it would burst through his chest.

The belt tied around his waist tightened around his throat. Even though he had been taking deep breaths all day, his lungs felt like a broken machine that had been out of repair for years. Only his nerve endings remained intact, constantly feeding back to his brain that deadly feeling of suffocation.

Something soft and furry rubbed against his ankle. Zhou Shiyu looked down to see Ping’An, squatting down to stroke his back.

“Ping’An,” the man behind his glasses still had gentle eyes, speaking softly as if talking to himself,

“What should I do? I think I scared her.”

“……”

Sheng Sui usually took half an hour to bathe. Zhou Shiyu roughly calculated the time, took clean clothes from the walk-in closet, and went to another bathroom next to the gym.

Upon entering, he first turned the shower’s hot water to full blast. Soon, the spacious bathroom filled with misty white fog, like a mystical realm shrouded in clouds.

His palm touched the cold mirror surface, wiping it. In the hot mist appeared a face without expression.

Removing his gold-rimmed glasses, his originally gentle eyes were pitch black and bottomless. His overly profound features and knife-cut contours left this face with only inhuman coldness.

His gaze moved downward. Zhou Shiyu calmly looked at his chest and several hideous scars winding from his shoulders to his back.

He had a keloid constitution; his body was the best container for storing past memories. The scars on his chest were traces left by thoracic surgery when he had bronchial cysts at sixteen.

As for the remaining marks, they came from the man who called himself his “father.”

Since childhood, Zhou Shiyu had memory superior to ordinary people. Even after more than ten years, he could still repeat word for word the man’s cursing language and the number of beatings in any given year or month.

Violence needed no reason, the foul language was logically chaotic—the man was clearly unable to control himself, a madman who could lose control at any time.

“…Not being obedient, huh? Then lock him up, lock him up for one night and he’ll be fine.”

The dark scenes from that time repeatedly played in his ears and mind. Zhou Shiyu’s face remained calm as he raised his hand to touch the marks on his shoulders and back that were so old they could barely be felt anymore.

No pain, even the sensation was shallow.

Zhou Shiyu hadn’t told Sheng Sui the story of the belt because he didn’t want to see her show a guilty expression, and also because he couldn’t extract a segment of unforgettable pain, completely tear open the scab, and show her the festering wound.

Only those who have tasted happiness and witnessed light can, through comparison, perceive that the taste behind suffering is pain, and thus be haunted by it.

But those who are accustomed to it never deliberately remember these things, just like humans’ repetitive three meals a day—few people specifically record what dishes they ate.

Numbness was Zhou Shiyu’s innate talent.

He removed his watch, examining the dense scars on his wrist. When placing the watch on the shelf, he caught sight of his face blurred by white mist in the mirror.

Undeniably, he had almost perfectly inherited everything from that man.

Abundant wealth, facial features, and a brain that was out of control and could explode at any time.

Hot water droplets slid down from the scars on his shoulders and back. Zhou Shiyu closed his eyes, recalling Sheng Sui’s expression then, realizing she had already become suspicious.

Changing the subject wasn’t a long-term solution.

She needed an emotionally stable, gentle-natured normal person as a long-term marriage partner.

No normal person would fear a belt.

It didn’t matter, he wouldn’t be afraid anymore either.

The human brain has the most precise and complex structure in the world, while at the same time, it can be treated and controlled by various medical or illegal means such as drugs and electric shock;

Even sufficiently strong psychological suggestion can control thinking and change cognition for longer or shorter periods.

In other words, as long as one is willing, a person can subjectively deceive their own brain, manipulate their emotions, and even reverse their perception of things.

The water sound gradually stopped. Zhou Shiyu wiped away the water droplets and walked back to the washstand, putting on his watch and glasses in order. His wet hair dripped water, and the man in the mirror had gentle, polite eyes.

Occasionally, he would also agree with what that man used to say most often.

Not being obedient, then lock him up, lock him up for one night and he’ll be fine.

If the brain wasn’t obedient, that was fine.

Just lock it up, lock it up for one night and it would be fine.

This wasn’t difficult at all.

Wiping her wet hair, Sheng Sui came out of the bedroom bathroom to see Zhou Shiyu busy in the kitchen again.

The man had also just bathed, with wet soft hair dripping water, soaking into his light gray loungewear. His tall back showed broad shoulders and a narrow waist.

A small pot on the stove was stewing chopped white fungus, goji berries, and pitted red dates, with a light fragrance that could be smelled from afar.

Hearing her footsteps, Zhou Shiyu turned off the low heat, used a strainer to remove the sugar-containing red dates and goji berries, and poured the remaining white fungus soup into a cup.

Hot steam rose in curls, but the man’s glasses didn’t fog up. Sheng Sui sat down at the dining table, still immersed in the earlier embarrassment.

She cleared her throat lightly, starting a conversation: “Are you nearsighted?”

Before bed, she had occasionally seen Zhou Shiyu without glasses, leaning against the headboard handling work, and his reading didn’t seem to be affected.

Zhou Shiyu finally added milk powder to the drink, confirmed with the back of his hand that the temperature wasn’t too hot, then placed it beside Sheng Sui: “The lenses give me psychological comfort in disguising emotions.”

Not mentioning the awkwardness from half an hour ago, the man smiled slightly at her: “In business, being too emotionally exposed makes it easy for people to find your weaknesses.”

Sheng Sui nodded with half understanding, lowering her head to drink the bedtime beverage her husband prepared with different variations each day, her tongue filled with rich milk fragrance, sighing in admiration.

She slowly finished the entire cup. When she raised her hand to pass the cup over, Zhou Shiyu suddenly said: “You sleep first tonight, I’ll handle some work in the study.”

“Okay,” Sheng Sui nodded understandingly about his busyness, gently reminding him, “I’ll leave the door open for you, you should rest early too.”

The woman had just bathed, and her slightly reddened eye corners looked soft and appealing.

Zhou Shiyu washed the cup clean, dried his hands, then gently ruffled Sheng Sui’s hair, saying softly: “If you’re afraid of the dark sleeping alone, just call me.”

Dissatisfied with being treated like a child, Sheng Sui softly retorted: “I’m such a grown-up, how could I be afraid of the dark?”

“Then it’s me projecting my own fears,” when talking to her, Zhou Shiyu habitually bent down to eye level, his half-joking gentle tone,

“I’m the one afraid of the dark alone. Can I come sleep with you tonight?”

They had slept in the same bed since the night they moved in together. Sheng Sui found the question strange; even so, she tilted her head slightly, seriously thought for a few seconds, then proposed: “Tomorrow is Sunday with no work. If you’re afraid of the dark, I can keep the lights on and stay with you while you work.”

“……”

When she finished speaking, she seemed to see too many surging emotions in the man’s eyes through his lenses, even mistaking herself for a moment as a lamb that had long been targeted for capture.

However, Zhou Shiyu ultimately only curved his lips in a smile, sent Sheng Sui back to bed to lie down, tucked in the corners of the blanket, then politely declined her kindness:

“Go to sleep quickly, I don’t want to burden you.”

Sheng Sui didn’t sleep very well that night.

Perhaps it was the man’s casual teasing remark before bed, or perhaps this was Sheng Sui’s first time sleeping alone since cohabitation. That night, lying in the empty, soft big bed, she rarely suffered from insomnia.

Her nostrils no longer carried the familiar bitter woody cold fragrance. She lay on her side with eyes open, curled up slightly in the covers, her hands and feet slightly cold without anyone to warm them.

Habit was such a terrifying thing—you don’t notice it normally, but only when you step out of your comfort zone do you realize the difference.

During her bedtime skincare routine, she had inadvertently seen through the half-open door that Zhou Shiyu seemed to be carrying something as he walked into that study used exclusively for work, which she and Aunt Tian weren’t usually allowed to enter.

This was the first time Sheng Sui had seen the man enter that study. There were no lights on inside, and looking in, it was pitch black.

Zhou Shiyu walking in alone seemed to be stepping into endless darkness.

Knowing that thinking wildly in the middle of the night was absurd, Sheng Sui tossed and turned without any sleepiness. Several times she wanted to get up and find Zhou Shiyu, but afraid of disturbing his work, she finally decided to send the man a message asking if it would be convenient for her to come over.

Zhou Shiyu must have been truly busy that night. The person who always replied to messages instantly didn’t respond with a single word before Sheng Sui dozed off.

The next morning, Sheng Sui was awakened by the aroma of food coming from outside the bedroom.

Poor sleep quality made getting up difficult. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, looking down at her rolled-up shirt in the blanket, exposing her flat, snow-white belly.

Usually Zhou Shiyu would hold her at night, not letting her clothes ride up and cause Sheng Sui to catch cold; today her clothes were almost rolled up to her chest, and there were no traces of the man staying overnight beside her.

Obviously, Zhou Shiyu had stayed up all night.

Sheng Sui needed three days to recover from staying up once. Realizing her husband had worked all night and still didn’t forget to make breakfast, she instantly lost all sleepiness, hurriedly getting up and putting on clothes to go out.

Zhou Shiyu had changed into another long loungewear outfit, his back tall and thin, seriously handling fresh shrimp on the cutting board with his head lowered, the cooking counter filled with various ingredients.

Unusually, the man didn’t hear her footsteps. Sheng Sui approached wanting to call out to him, but from the side discovered that Zhou Shiyu had dark circles under his eyes, his pale thin lips were white, his forehead and the back of his neck covered with a thin layer of fine sweat, like someone who had been pulled from a cold river.

Even his usually agile knife work—during intervals between cutting vegetables, his hands seemed unable to bear the weight of the knife handle, his fingertips and wrists constantly trembling slightly.

How could staying up late cause so much sweating? Sheng Sui frowned deeply, couldn’t help but worry: “…Are you alright?”

The movements in his hands suddenly stopped. Zhou Shiyu heard the voice, put down the knife and turned around, smiling and saying good morning with no unusual expression.

Not intentionally or carelessly, the man warmly apologized to her: “I just finished work at dawn, then did half an hour of anaerobic exercise. We might have to eat breakfast a bit later.”

Zhou Shiyu turned around, pouring the already prepared warm water into a glass cup, his smile the same as usual, only his voice was dry and hoarse:

“Drink some warm water to promote blood circulation.”

Sheng Sui dubiously accepted the glass cup.

Zhou Shiyu said he was sweating from exercise, but why was it that standing beside the man now, she couldn’t feel any heat from him?

Instead, when she had just received the water cup and their fingertips touched, she only felt coldness.

“Don’t stay up late anymore,” her displeasure with Zhou Shiyu’s lack of self-care resurfaced. Sheng Sui put down the water cup and busily went to turn off the fire, “You go sleep first, I’ll watch over breakfast and lunch.”

After speaking, she realized her tone was too serious and changed her approach: “Actually I haven’t fully woken up either. Can we sleep in on the weekend and get up at ten to eat?”

“…Okay,” Zhou Shiyu always went along with Sheng Sui. Hearing this, he agreed, then called her nickname in a low voice, “Suisui.”

Sheng Sui was worried: “Hmm? Are you feeling unwell?”

“No,” Zhou Shiyu looked deeply into her eyes full of concern. After a while, he curved his lips and said softly: “I just wanted to tell you.”

“I think I learned how to use a belt.”

He had spent the entire night doing actually nothing much.

Just locking himself in the dark room without lights, bolting the door, ridiculously learning over and over how to peacefully coexist with a belt; and how to repeatedly deceive his bomb-like brain, mechanically repeating the mantra that it was just a belt and wouldn’t harm him anymore.

This wasn’t difficult at all.

He just missed her terribly.

The topic change was so sudden that Sheng Sui was stunned for a few seconds before reacting, belatedly realizing the man was responding to her question about the belt from last night.

“No one taught me how to use a belt before, so I needed some time to learn.”

Familiar hands carefully wrapped around her wrist, the temperature frighteningly cold.

Sheng Sui was secretly alarmed, then saw Zhou Shiyu holding her wrist that had been gripped painfully last night, his still slightly trembling thumb gently caressing her wrist bone. He lowered his eyes, his voice hoarse but infinitely tender:

“I really like your gift, and you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“So, don’t blame yourself.”