Zhou Shiyu thought how fortunate he was to encounter such a wonderful companion as Sheng Sui in this lifetime.

As their married days grew longer, Sheng Sui gradually understood one truth.

Contrary to his outwardly gentle and courteous appearance, Zhou Shiyu’s true nature actually had quite a bit of rebellious lawlessness.

For instance, pursuing the thrill of forbidden excitement, he wouldn’t hesitate to seduce his still-tender beloved in the sacred halls of education.

For instance, enjoying the pleasure of conquest, he would adorn his beloved with the most expensive, silky scarves and satins.

And for instance, indulging in his beloved’s expressions of barely concealed pleasure amidst suffering, he would use every means at his disposal to offend and possess.

Sheng Sui was slow to understand, but she also carefully savored the flavors within.

That study room, once listed as forbidden territory, had been transformed by Zhou Shiyu’s careful decoration into Sheng Sui’s favorite warm goose yellow. The cold hard floor was also covered with thick Persian carpets—to some extent, whether kneeling, lying down, or prone, one wouldn’t get hurt.

Wooden long tables and cabinets displayed rows of candle stands, with creamy white candles burning at their tops. In the spacious study where no wind passed, the flickering golden-red points of light swayed gracefully.

The rosewood surface was smooth. Sheng Sui sat on the edge of the long table, her right palm unable to support herself on the table surface. When her black hair scattered and fell, she also collapsed backward weakly, feeling in her daze as if she were floating on clouds.

The next second, warm and strong large hands pulled her back to earth, distinctly jointed fingers threading through her hair.

“……”

With unfocused eyes, Sheng Sui struggled to regain consciousness, crashing into Zhou Shiyu’s pitch-black eyes that combined tenderness with wildness.

The man encircling her in his embrace drew near, leaning against her sweaty forehead.

“Suisui,” Zhou Shiyu’s lowered, hoarse voice was seductive, calling her intimate nickname while raising his hand to pinch her chin, carefully guiding her before their kiss:

“What I taught you during the day—how you should call me.”

“……”

Their four eyes met. In the repeated breaking and reforming, Sheng Sui could see through the man’s unfathomable eyes her own flushed face in a daze, and also see the rare, more complex heavy desire for control in Zhou Shiyu’s eyes.

At that moment, Sheng Sui felt like she was a greenhouse flower personally cultivated by Zhou Shiyu—he hoped she would bloom freely and wantonly for a long time, yet also selfishly wished this soul-stirring beauty could only be privately appreciated by him alone.

Zhou Shiyu knew very clearly that she would never become anyone’s possession. It was just that his insatiable desires, in certain moments, seeped out drop by drop from his bones and flesh, wishing this private desire could erode and swallow her completely.

Or perhaps, make Sheng Sui surrender or sink first.

Sheng Sui wasn’t oblivious to these things.

She just no longer wanted to be the past obedient and compliant doll. Though she greedily enjoyed pleasure while allowing Zhou Shiyu to kiss her lips, she stubbornly insisted that the man admit first.

Unable to use strength in either hand, Sheng Sui nimbly climbed onto the man’s neck, her soft tone carrying unconscious allure:

“…I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

As soon as the words fell, Sheng Sui felt the large hands holding her tighten, her body becoming suspended in air.

Zhou Shiyu easily lifted her up. Without support, Sheng Sui immediately understood the taste of asking for trouble.

With the tattoo on her left wrist aching faintly, she was like a butterfly with wet wings in a storm, trembling delicately as she gritted her teeth.

“If you don’t know, Suisui can think about it carefully.”

Zhou Shiyu had always been extremely patient with Sheng Sui. Hearing his beloved play dumb didn’t anger him. He just bounced her up and down in his arms, his gaze dropping down to admire her pearl-like curled white toes.

Amidst the faint sobbing sounds, Zhou Shiyu said leisurely: “No need to rush.”

“The night is long, we have plenty of time. Even if the sun is high in the sky, it doesn’t matter.”

“……”

In the end, it was Sheng Sui, lacking physical strength, who couldn’t hold on and was first to surrender.

For no other reason than her foot arch had been tensed too long. Several times she felt she would cramp the next second. Tears blurred her vision, falling sparsely to wet the floor, table surface, wooden chairs and cabinets, even the expensive wool carpet.

“…Gege.”

Surrendering, Sheng Sui’s words were broken. She lowered her head to bite the man’s right earlobe, her tooth crown pressing deep into the skin, wanting him to feel the same suffering.

But then remembering Zhou Shiyu had a scarring constitution, she felt guilty and quickly released her mouth to check his wound with concern.

Seeing the tooth marks on the side of his ear bone, like a confused little beast, she reddened her moist eyes and lowered her head again, carefully licking.

Zhou Shiyu took everything in, his temples throbbing from the scene before him, yet his expression remained impassive.

Sheng Sui’s left wrist was injured, so it wasn’t suitable for much movement tonight. Zhou Shiyu could only choose between continuing and hearing those four words, steadily placing her on the low cabinet against the wall.

He braced both hands on the edge, leaning down to look into Sheng Sui’s deer-like wet eyes, his voice hoarse:

“Good girl, say the complete words.”

Sheng Sui had indeed used force just now, and Zhou Shiyu’s right ear was still faintly aching.

He himself didn’t mind this. Instead, he watched with laughter in his eyes as the person who thought she had done wrong obediently wrapped her arms around his neck, lying docilely on his shoulder, saying softly:

“…Shiyu gege.”

Because she spoke with her head buried, the soft female voice was inevitably somewhat muffled, completely unaware of what towering waves these four words would stir in Zhou Shiyu’s heart.

Their weight even exceeded Zhou Shiyu’s constant urgent desire to possess his beloved. The man fell into complete silence, pulling over the thin blanket from the chair back to carefully cover Sheng Sui, then picking her up to go to the bathroom.

After the mentally and physically exhausting scheming, Sheng Sui drowsily received care and cleaning in the bathroom. Even small matters like changing clothes were personally handled by Zhou Shiyu.

After putting on comfortable cotton pajamas, drying her hair, and being wrapped like a dumpling in thick blankets before being carried into bed, Sheng Sui belatedly noticed Zhou Shiyu’s prolonged silence.

After giving herself an injection while sitting by the bedside, she watched the man throw away the alcohol cotton and disposable needle. When he returned, she actively embraced him.

“…Are you alright?” Sheng Sui knew that even when not having episodes, patients with bipolar disorder would have emotional fluctuations, so she patiently held the man and swayed gently:

“Do you want to lie down and rest for a while?”

“I’m fine.”

Zhou Shiyu sat on the bedside, turning to kiss his wife’s smooth forehead. By the bedside lamp light, looking at her facial features, they were almost identical to thirteen years ago.

So he raised his hand to gently pinch Sheng Sui’s soft cheek, curving his lips in a smile: “Just feeling that time passes very quickly.”

In his nearly thirty years of age, almost half the time had been spent learning how to love someone.

This feeling was truly wonderful.

As if in Zhou Shiyu’s life, apart from cherishing Sheng Sui, no other meaning could be found.*

“…This seems not bad either.”

“After all, happiness is always fleeting, while suffering makes people feel endless.” Sheng Sui obviously misunderstood, tilting her head on Zhou Shiyu’s shoulder and smiling as she comforted:

“We still have a very long future ahead, so there’s nothing to fear.”

Zhou Shiyu lowered his gaze to see her curved eyebrows and eyes. Her pajamas were loose, easily revealing the back of her neck below the open collar, and the straight spine and slender figure beneath.

His silent quietude was taken by his beloved as momentary vulnerability. Zhou Shiyu said nothing, happy to see Sheng Sui encircle him with her thin arms, her right hand with the wedding ring gently patting his arm like coaxing a child.

After a long while, Zhou Shiyu closed his eyes and suddenly murmured her name in a low voice: “Sheng Sui.”

He rarely called his beloved by her full name. The response by his ear was somewhat surprised: “Mm?”

Zhou Shiyu seemed addicted, calling his beloved’s name again: “Sheng Sui.”

“I’m here, what’s wrong?”

Zhou Shiyu smiled upon hearing this: “Just suddenly felt that your name was chosen very well.”

Sheng Sui—bountiful golden wheat ears.

No matter how you looked at it, they were just deeply bowed grain commonly seen everywhere in golden autumn, yet with their tenacious vitality and spirit of dedication, they nourished countless people on the brink of death and suffering.

Zhou Shiyu thought how fortunate he was to encounter such a wonderful companion as Sheng Sui in this lifetime.

The day to visit Qi Xiajing’s family was set for Saturday afternoon.

Learning that the female doctor who had carried her up the stairs into the emergency room that year was actually married to Qi Xiajing, and that they now lived in Shanghai, Sheng Sui felt nothing but disbelief.

That year she was too young, and when sick was too preoccupied to notice any clues.

Because the family had a pair of twins, the couple lived in a villa district in the wealthy area, about a half-hour drive away.

As the car drove on the straight road, Sheng Sui still looked shocked in the passenger seat: “…So when you were hospitalized, did you know that Dr. Li and Dr. Qi were a couple?”

“More accurately, Qi Xiajing was still in unrequited love at that time.”

Zhou Shiyu saw his beloved’s adorable expression from the corner of his eye, curving his lips with laughter in his eyes: “It’s somewhat complicated. Dr. Li was responsible for taking care of me, and later she kindly played matchmaker, which made Qi Xiajing agree to be my lead surgeon.”

So there was such a connection.

Sheng Sui nodded in seeming understanding, her heart surging with excitement that wouldn’t calm.

That time when she fell ill, if she could only thank one person, Dr. Li Dong would undoubtedly be the only answer.

The woman not only advanced medical expenses for her, but even personally found reliable children’s aid foundations for her, yet never asked Sheng Sui to do anything in return.

Unfortunately, Li Dong was mostly only at the hospital on workdays, and Sheng Sui had to attend school. When Sheng Sui finally had vacation time to go to the hospital to specially thank her, she was told that Li Dong had long left the city.

After thirteen years of twists and turns, she could actually see her lifesaver again, and even see that she was living well now.

Beyond gratitude, Sheng Sui felt life couldn’t be more complete.

The villa where Qi Xiajing lived was surrounded by rows of green forests, with long distances between buildings, providing excellent privacy.

Li Dong came to receive them.

When she could clearly see the woman’s appearance from afar, Sheng Sui momentarily felt time was still stuck thirteen years ago—except for an increasingly calm and gentle demeanor, the years had left no traces on the woman with handsome and delicate features.

Seeing the two of them, Li Dong actively walked over, stopping two steps in front of the somewhat nervous Sheng Sui, saying gently: “The sun is too harsh outside, let’s go inside to talk first.”

No longer the calm composure she had when facing media questioning a few days ago, Sheng Sui felt she had become the little girl from thirteen years ago again.

Just as she was hurriedly about to speak, Zhou Shiyu beside her took her right hand first, nodding politely:

“Then we’ll trouble Dr. Li.”

When several people entered through the villa’s gravel path, Qi Xiajing, who had been on a phone call upstairs, also finished his business and came down, a thin beige jacket draped over his arm.

The man walked with long strides toward the living room where the three were located. After approaching, he first draped the jacket over his wife’s shoulders, completely forgetting the two people across from them: “The wind has been strong these past two days, better wear another layer.”

Accustomed to her husband’s attentive care regardless of others present, Li Dong smiled and lightly patted Qi Xiajing’s hand, saying softly: “Sheng Sui and Xiao Zhou are here.”

Sheng Sui hurriedly bowed, thanking the two lifesavers: “Later I came to the hospital wanting to thank you both, but heard you had both resigned. I never found a chance to express my gratitude.”

As she spoke, her eyes reddened first, repeatedly telling herself inwardly not to cry, yet couldn’t help the sourness in her nose: “…Back then, truly thank you both—”

The latter half disappeared in choked sobs. Just as Sheng Sui was frantically adjusting her emotions, she suddenly felt the woman across from her, as gentle as thirteen years ago, raise her hand to softly rub the top of her head.

“It’s alright,” Li Dong possessed the maternal radiance missing from Sheng Sui’s childhood, always able to quickly and silently soothe all turbulent emotions. “I also just learned that you and Xiao Zhou became husband and wife.”

“Seeing that you’re both living well now, we’re also very happy.”

“No need to feel guilty,” Qi Xiajing, who was loosely embracing Li Dong, also spoke up. The man’s voice carried some lazy indifference, and combined with his profound features that added to the sense of distance, he always had a casual randomness when speaking:

“A Li was able to quickly come work in Shanghai that year because Zhou Shiyu’s connections helped arrange it. As husband and wife, there’s no need to thank separately.”

Sheng Sui was slightly stunned upon hearing this, looking up at her husband who had been silent for a long time.

“Dr. Li was already excellent,” Zhou Shiyu only said lightly upon hearing this. “I just helped inquire about it.”

After a few pleasantries, everyone sat down. Taking advantage of Li Dong getting up to fetch tea and snacks, and Qi Xiajing insisting on following her to the kitchen, Sheng Sui tugged at Zhou Shiyu’s sleeve beside her.

Looking back at the intimate couple in the kitchen, she lowered her voice and asked: “I feel like you’re very familiar with Dr. Li and Dr. Qi. Have you kept in touch all these years?”

Zhou Shiyu lowered his gaze, seeing her tense mood finally relax somewhat, and held Sheng Sui’s right hand in return, interlocking fingers: “Mm, I have business dealings with Qi Xiajing.”

His words paused, and the man added: “Also, he’s one of the few people who knows we used to know each other. On your matter, he also gave me much guidance later.”

Talking about thirteen years ago, Sheng Sui inevitably fell into guilty silence again, but then heard Zhou Shiyu speak in a low voice:

“Thinking about it now, discussing experience with him back then was a very wrong decision.”

Sheng Sui blinked slowly in confusion, asking uncomprehendingly: “Why?”

She saw Zhou Shiyu rarely sigh silently, then supplement:

“Because I only learned much later that he had been rejected by Dr. Li for more than ten years.”

Author’s Note:

Old Qi: Thank you very much.

1* Adapted from “Strait is the Gate” by André Gide: “In my life, apart from love, I can find no other meaning.”

Thank you very much for everyone’s support. I will continue to work hard!