HomeYummy Yummy YummyChapter 82: Eating Crabs Together

Chapter 82: Eating Crabs Together

Shao Jie came to Shen’s Tavern in Chongxian Ward again.

Shen Shaoguang welcomed him with a smile: “Young Master Shao is here. That preserved food merchant you recommended sent over several jars of Cangzhou sugar crabs. Would you like to try a couple of steamed ones?”

Shao Jie thought for a moment before waving his hand: “Never mind, I’ll pass. Since partnering with Young Lady to open the tavern, my waist has grown several inches. My mother used to always complain I was too thin, but now she says I’m just right. I’m afraid if I keep getting fatter, I won’t be able to find a bride.”

Shen Shaoguang carefully examined Shao Jie – he did seem to have gained some weight, but it wasn’t excessive. The current dynasty’s aesthetic standards for men inherited some Wei-Jin period influences – handsome men were expected to be tall and graceful. For others, different standards applied – broad-shouldered, stout, and imposing. Shao Jie wasn’t in the first category, and by the latter standard, his current build was just right.

Shen Shaoguang casually reassured him: “Young Master Shao, you’re still far from Yu Zisong’s ten-span waistband, no need to worry.”

Shao Jie tilted his head and teased her: “Let me ask you something – Master Lin has been eating at Shen’s for longer than me, how come he doesn’t get fat?”

When it came to verbal sparring, Shen Shaoguang rarely lost. She seriously told him: “There’s something in the human body called ‘genes,’ and Master Lin probably has these ‘can’t-get-fat genes.'”

Though Shao Jie had never heard of these “genes” before, he understood the meaning. “So you’re saying it’s inborn?”

Shen Shaoguang solemnly nodded.

A Yuan walked by with a smile on her face: “That’s what I’ve been saying – it has nothing to do with how much or what you eat, it’s all from your parents!”

Shen Shaoguang: “…” She had a feeling of lifting a stone only to drop it on her own feet, sensing A Yuan was about to break her diet today.

Shao Jie laughed: “Silly maid! Your Young Lady was complimenting someone, couldn’t you tell?”

A Yuan stopped and asked with a smile: “Huh? Complimenting who? Me?”

Shao Jie: “…”

A Yuan happily walked away carrying her box, while Shen and Shao looked at each other speechlessly before breaking into laughter together.

Since he wanted to lose weight, Shen Shaoguang served two cups of the clearest possible tea – without ginger, pepper, sugar, salt, various dried and fresh fruits, and naturally without sheep fat, pork, milk, or cream.

Shao Jie took a sip and frowned.

Shen Shaoguang secretly smiled to herself and asked if he had found suitable new shop locations.

Shao Jie nodded and took out a roll of paper from his sleeve, showing several store locations with addresses, sizes, prices, and rough sketches.

Shen Shaoguang took it to look.

Shao Jie was truly a Monopoly player – the first branch had barely stabilized when he was already busy preparing for the second and even third stores.

Shao Jie wasn’t being reckless though. With multiple branches, centralized management and purchasing could save a lot of costs. The key was that current capital reserves and profits could support such expansion, so Shen Shaoguang let him proceed.

Shen Shaoguang circled two locations and agreed to view them together later.

This was the tavern’s first time steaming sugar crabs. A Yuan brought over a tray, “Yu San wants Young Master Shao and Young Lady to try which is better – the crabs steamed over water, or those steamed with wine and cinnamon.”

Yu San had already cut open the crabs, revealing the golden-brown roe.

Shen Shaoguang looked at Shao Jie, who finally abandoned his barely touched cup of clear tea. “Steaming crabs has so many techniques? I suppose the ones steamed with wine and cinnamon should taste better?” Shao Jie thought that perhaps Young Lady was right – fatness and thinness were determined by those “genes” or whatever, so eating one more bite or one less bite didn’t matter much.

Shen Shaoguang invited him to try first.

Shao Jie took a piece and started with the crab roe: “Hmm, sweet, fragrant, and fresh – this is the water-steamed one?”

A Yuan nodded.

After finishing the water-steamed crab, Shao Jie tried the other kind, carefully savoring it. “The water-steamed one is sweeter but has more crab smell, while the wine and cinnamon-steamed one has a lighter sweetness but no fishiness – I still prefer the water-steamed one, isn’t eating crab all about that taste? What does Young Lady think?”

Shen Shaoguang was methodically picking meat from a crab claw. Hearing his question, she gave a cunning smile: “Why choose when we can have them compete? Let’s hold a ‘Crab Battle’ at the tavern. Customers can vote, and from those who voted for the winning style, we’ll draw three lucky winners. Each will receive a basket of six crabs of the winning style plus a jar of Xinfeng wine.”

Shao Jie: “…”

Shen Shaoguang continued: “This ten-day period will be sugar crab versus sugar crab, next will be sugar crab versus preserved crab, then these sugar and wine-preserved crabs against fresh crabs, followed by deep-fried crab versus steamed crab… we might as well make it Crab Month.”

What could Shao Jie say? He sincerely praised Shen Shaoguang: “With Young Lady’s creative ideas, we’ll surely spread our taverns across all of Chang’an, then to Eastern Capital, Northern Capital, Hedong, Shannan, and even Jiangnan.”

Now it was Shen Shaoguang’s turn to be speechless – so Young Master Shao had already mapped out our business territory across the entire country in his mind?

Shen Shaoguang licked her lips, “Not considering opening a few branches in barbarian territories?”

Shao Jie knew she was joking and played along: “That’s not impossible… let those barbarians taste our food, instead of always using small knives to cut barely-cooked meat.”

Shen Shaoguang: “…” The Tang people’s sense of cultural superiority showed up everywhere.

“By your logic, our food carries the essence of poetry and propriety? So if we open shops in foreign barbarian lands, would it count as cultural education?”

Shao Jie: “…Young Lady thinks too far ahead.”

Shen Shaoguang laughed: “More importantly, in such cases, shouldn’t the court provide us with some subsidies?”

Shao Jie and Shen Shaoguang burst out laughing together – dreaming is wonderful!

Shao Jie was a man of action. He immediately contacted several crab suppliers to secure the supply, and both branch stores began their crab theme.

The poetry wall outside naturally changed accordingly.

A Yuan was brushing the wall with powder, lamenting to Shen Shaoguang who was contemplating the composition nearby: “Young Lady put so much effort into painting, and after just a few days it’s being erased, what a pity…”

The outdoor advertisement changed with the tavern’s new dishes. What A Yuan was erasing was an ink painting of a perch, its tail posed gracefully, conveying a leisurely mood. The accompanying verse read: “Why yearn for perch and water shield in Jiangnan?”

A Yuan only felt the fish was painted vividly but had no particular feeling about the “yearning for perch and water shield.” She was more nostalgic about the previous period’s roasted lamb leg. “That lamb leg you painted last time, it’s been erased for several days now, but I still dream about it.” A Yuan swallowed.

That lamb leg combined both technique and artistic expression, using vibrant colors. Shen Shaoguang had even specially painted the sparks from oil drips, with the advertising slogan being a playful “Sizzle” – the sound of dripping oil. Some customers joked that the wall painting seemed to “come with sound and smell.”

Shen Shaoguang smiled: “No matter, no matter, after lamb comes crab, you’ll have new things to dream about.”

Though A Yuan was reluctant to part with the old, she began looking forward to the new.

When Lin Yan came to Shen’s after being busy for several days, the tavern’s “Crab War” was already in full swing.

Lin Yan looked at the crab on the poetry wall outside and smiled – Ah Qi’s painting was truly expressive.

On the wall was an enormous crab, golden with hints of red, its shell half-opened revealing rich, full roe. This wasn’t extraordinary, as there had been similarly huge and colorfully painted chrysanthemum fish and lamb legs before.

Different from previous periods was a person besides the crab, outlined only in ink, not even as tall as a crab leg, wearing a headband, with robes drawn in a single stroke, an obvious beard, and two dot eyes, showing an expression of astonishment. The accompanying text read: “How magnificent, this crab!”

Li Taibai said “Yanshan’s snowflakes are as large as mats,” while Ah Qi’s was “one crab comparable to a house.” Lin Yan entered Shen’s with a smile.

The lunch customers had dispersed, A Yuan was counting “votes” while Shen Shaoguang sat nearby drinking tea, smiling as she watched.

Seeing Lin Yan enter, Shen Shaoguang greeted: “Master Lin-“

Lin Yan nodded, suddenly remembering how she had called him “Yan Lang” that day, wondering when he might hear her call him that way again.

A Yuan reported: “Water-steamed sugar crabs still have more votes. Over these days, wine-cinnamon steamed sugar crabs are behind by over thirty votes.”

Lin Yan asked with a smile: “Is this a ‘crab competition’?”

Shen Shaoguang flattered: “As expected of Master Lin, you understood at once. Indeed it is a ‘crab competition’!”

Such sweet talk! Looking at her smiling face, Lin Yan wanted to…

Shen Shaoguang asked with a smile: “Would Master Lin like to try two crabs? Would you prefer our ten-day special sugar crabs, or shall we steam two fresh ones?”

Lin Yan smiled: “Fresh ones, please.”

Shen Shaoguang added more flattery: “Master Lin knows how to eat! For such fresh ingredients, steaming them live shows the greatest respect – because it best preserves their natural flavor. Sugar crabs and preserved crabs are mostly methods devised out of necessity for storage and transportation.”

Lin Yan was thoroughly amused by her sweet talk, and Shen Shaoguang squinted her eyes, sharing a smile with him.

Over there, Yu San who was cleaning crabs rolled his eyes – who was it these past days that praised sugar crabs to the skies? Talking about how the previous dynasty’s Emperor Yang ate sugar crabs decorated with gold and phoenix patterns, called “Gold Dragon Phoenix Crabs”; how Cangzhou sugar crabs, Guangling sugar crabs, and Jiangling sugar crabs were the three tribute crabs, with Cangzhou crabs having rich roe, Guangling crabs having fresh yellow, and Jiangling sugar crabs having tender meat… huh! Young Lady’s silver tongue!

Nowadays whenever Lin Yan came, Shen Shaoguang would put down whatever she was doing to sit with him.

Although sitting quietly eye to eye with a beauty was interesting enough, to make the beauty laugh, one had to say something.

Shen Shaoguang, being clever with words, told Lin Yan a joke: “They say there was once a monk who, when autumn winds arose and crab legs started itching, learned from common folk and bought crabs to eat.”

Though he had only heard the beginning, Lin Yan’s lips were already curving into a smile.

Shen Shaoguang pursed her lips – your timing for laughter is off, you know?

Lin Yan held back his smile: “Please continue.”

Shen Shaoguang regained interest and continued: “The crabs were scratching against the pot walls with a ‘scratch scratch’ sound. His young disciple who was tending the fire heard this and felt sorry, so he put his palms together and chanted sutras. The monk felt he should chant something too, so he chanted ‘Amitabha, Amitabha, once it’s cooked it’ll be fine, once it’s cooked it’ll be fine…'”

Lin Yan smiled as he watched her.

Shen Shaoguang was pretty much certain now that Deputy Minister Lin had no sense of humor – he was probably the type who would cheer at the wrong moment during plays and laugh at the wrong points during comic dialogues… well, he was handsome after all.

Just as Lin Yan was about to say something, the waiter brought over the steamed crabs, along with ginger vinegar dipping sauce and wine.

Shen Shaoguang smiled: “One can’t eat crabs without wine. Master Lin should drink a little.”

Lin Yan smiled and nodded.

Shen Shaoguang personally warmed the wine for him. First, she slowly poured hot water into the warming vessel, judging the time, touching the pot wall with her finger, and when the temperature was right, she picked up the wine pot, shook it slightly to evenly distribute the heat, then wiped the bottom with a cloth before pouring Lin Yan a cup.

Watching her graceful movements, Lin Yan recalled drinking here with Minister Li last year – who could have imagined they would be like this now?

Lin Yan washed his hands in the clear water brought by the waiter, took a crab, opened its shell, and slowly picked out the meat and roe into a small dish.

Ming Nu came over and sat solemnly at the edge of the dining table.

Shen Shaoguang loved its aloof and proud manner. She broke off two crab legs, picked out the meat, and fed it. She also reasoned with it: “You can’t eat too much of this, it’s cooling and not good for the stomach. The Princess’s cat is already sick, let that be a warning.”

Lin Yan watched her playing with the cat while picking his crab.

After using the crab claw to push the meat from the pincers onto the plate, Lin Yan spooned some ginger vinegar over it and pushed it to Shen Shaoguang: “Eat while it’s hot.”

Shen Shaoguang looked at him and accepted his consideration with a smile.

Only then did Lin Yan start picking his crab, casually asking while doing so: “Ah Qi, did the Princess tell you something?”

Author’s Note: The story about the monk eating crabs was also a joke I read somewhere when I was young.

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